< Return to Video

Inside the mind of a former radical jihadist

  • 0:01 - 0:05
    Today I stand before you
    as a man who lives life to the full
  • 0:05 - 0:07
    in the here and now.
  • 0:07 - 0:09
    But for a long time,
  • 0:09 - 0:11
    I lived for death.
  • 0:12 - 0:14
    I was a young man who believed
  • 0:14 - 0:19
    that jihad is to be understood
    in the language for force and violence.
  • 0:21 - 0:25
    I tried to right wrongs
    through power and aggression.
  • 0:26 - 0:31
    I had deep concerns
    for the suffering of others
  • 0:31 - 0:35
    and a strong desire to help
    and bring relief to them.
  • 0:37 - 0:41
    I thought violent Jihad was noble,
  • 0:41 - 0:42
    chivalrous
  • 0:42 - 0:44
    and the best way to help.
  • 0:46 - 0:48
    At a time when so many of our people --
  • 0:48 - 0:49
    young people especially --
  • 0:49 - 0:52
    are at risk of radicalization
  • 0:52 - 0:54
    through groups like Al Qaeda,
  • 0:54 - 0:55
    Islamic State
  • 0:55 - 0:56
    and others,
  • 0:56 - 0:58
    when these groups are claiming
  • 0:58 - 1:03
    that their horrific brutality
    and violence are true jihad,
  • 1:03 - 1:07
    I want to say that their idea
    of Jihad is wrong --
  • 1:07 - 1:08
    completely wrong --
  • 1:08 - 1:10
    as was mine, then.
  • 1:12 - 1:15
    Jihad means to strive to one's utmost.
  • 1:15 - 1:18
    It includes exertion and spirituality,
  • 1:18 - 1:19
    self-purification
  • 1:19 - 1:21
    and devotion.
  • 1:23 - 1:26
    It refers to positive transformation
  • 1:26 - 1:30
    through learning, wisdom
    and remembrance of God.
  • 1:30 - 1:34
    The word jihad stands for all
    those meanings as a whole.
  • 1:35 - 1:40
    Jihad may at times take
    the form of fighting,
  • 1:40 - 1:42
    but only sometimes,
  • 1:42 - 1:44
    under strict conditions,
  • 1:44 - 1:47
    within rules and limits.
  • 1:48 - 1:49
    In Islam,
  • 1:49 - 1:54
    the benefit of an act must outweigh
    the harm or hardship it entails.
  • 1:55 - 1:57
    More importantly,
  • 1:57 - 2:02
    the verses in the Koran that are
    connected to jihad [of] fighting,
  • 2:02 - 2:08
    do not cancel out the verses
    that talk about forgiveness,
  • 2:08 - 2:09
    benevolence,
  • 2:09 - 2:11
    or patience.
  • 2:14 - 2:18
    But now I believe that there are no
    circumstances on Earth
  • 2:18 - 2:21
    where a violent jihad is permissible,
  • 2:21 - 2:24
    because it will lead to greater harm.
  • 2:26 - 2:29
    But now the idea of Jihad
    has been hijacked.
  • 2:29 - 2:32
    It has been perverted
    to mean violent struggle
  • 2:32 - 2:35
    wherever Muslims
    are undergoing difficulties,
  • 2:35 - 2:37
    and turned into terrorism
  • 2:37 - 2:40
    by fascistic Islamists like Al Qaeda,
  • 2:40 - 2:41
    Islamic State
  • 2:41 - 2:42
    and others.
  • 2:43 - 2:44
    But I have come to understand
  • 2:44 - 2:49
    that true jihad means
    striving to the utmost
  • 2:49 - 2:53
    to strengthen and live
    those qualities which God loves:
  • 2:53 - 2:54
    honesty,
  • 2:54 - 2:55
    trustworthiness,
  • 2:55 - 2:57
    compassion, benevolence,
  • 2:57 - 2:59
    reliability, respect,
  • 2:59 - 3:01
    truthfulness --
  • 3:01 - 3:04
    human values that so many of us share.
  • 3:07 - 3:09
    I was born in Bangladesh,
  • 3:09 - 3:11
    but grew up mostly in England.
  • 3:11 - 3:13
    And I went to school here.
  • 3:13 - 3:15
    My father was an academic,
  • 3:15 - 3:18
    and we were in the UK through his work.
  • 3:19 - 3:23
    In 1971 we were in Bangladesh
    when everything changed.
  • 3:25 - 3:28
    The War of Independence
    impacted upon us terribly,
  • 3:28 - 3:30
    pitting family against family,
  • 3:30 - 3:32
    neighbor against neighbor.
  • 3:32 - 3:35
    And at the age of 12 I experience war,
  • 3:35 - 3:37
    destitution in my family,
  • 3:37 - 3:41
    the deaths of 22 of my
    relatives in horrible ways,
  • 3:41 - 3:45
    as well as the murder of my elder brother.
  • 3:47 - 3:51
    I witnessed killing ...
  • 3:51 - 3:54
    animals feeding on corpses in the streets,
  • 3:54 - 3:56
    starvation all around me;
  • 3:56 - 3:58
    wanton, horrific violence --
  • 3:58 - 4:00
    senseless violence.
  • 4:03 - 4:04
    I was a young man --
  • 4:04 - 4:05
    teenager --
  • 4:05 - 4:07
    fascinated by ideas.
  • 4:07 - 4:09
    I wanted to learn,
  • 4:09 - 4:12
    but I could not go to school
    for four years.
  • 4:13 - 4:15
    After the War of Independence,
  • 4:15 - 4:18
    my father was put in prison
    for two-and-a-half years,
  • 4:18 - 4:21
    and I used to visit him
    every week in prison,
  • 4:21 - 4:24
    and homeschooled myself.
  • 4:24 - 4:28
    My father was released in 1973
  • 4:28 - 4:30
    and he fled to England as a refugee,
  • 4:30 - 4:32
    and we soon followed him.
  • 4:33 - 4:34
    I was 17.
  • 4:35 - 4:37
    So these experiences gave me
  • 4:37 - 4:41
    a sharp awareness of the atrocities
    and injustices in the world.
  • 4:43 - 4:44
    And I had a strong desire --
  • 4:44 - 4:46
    a very keen, deep desire --
  • 4:46 - 4:48
    to right wrongs
  • 4:48 - 4:50
    and help the victims of oppression.
  • 4:51 - 4:53
    While studying at college in the UK,
  • 4:53 - 4:59
    I met others who showed me
    how I could channel that desire
  • 4:59 - 5:02
    and help through my religion.
  • 5:02 - 5:03
    And I was radicalized --
  • 5:03 - 5:08
    enough to consider violence correct,
  • 5:08 - 5:11
    even a virtue under certain circumstances.
  • 5:12 - 5:16
    So I became involved
    in the jihad in Afghanistan.
  • 5:16 - 5:20
    I wanted to protect the Muslim [Afghan]
    population against the Soviet army.
  • 5:21 - 5:24
    And I thought that was jihad:
  • 5:24 - 5:25
    my sacred duty,
  • 5:25 - 5:27
    which would be rewarded by God.
  • 5:32 - 5:35
    I became a preacher.
  • 5:36 - 5:41
    I was one of the pioneers
    of violent jihad in the UK.
  • 5:41 - 5:43
    I recruited,
  • 5:43 - 5:44
    I raised funds,
  • 5:44 - 5:45
    I trained.
  • 5:46 - 5:48
    I confused true jihad
  • 5:48 - 5:54
    with this perversion as presented
    by the fascist Islamists --
  • 5:54 - 5:57
    these people who use the idea of jihad
  • 5:57 - 6:02
    to justify their lust for power,
    authority and control on us.
  • 6:02 - 6:06
    A perversion perpetuated today
    by fascist Islamist groups
  • 6:06 - 6:10
    like Al Qaeda, Islamic State and others.
  • 6:11 - 6:14
    For a period of around 15 years,
  • 6:14 - 6:19
    I fought for short periods of time
  • 6:19 - 6:20
    in Kashmir and Burma,
  • 6:20 - 6:22
    besides Afghanistan.
  • 6:25 - 6:29
    Our aim was to remove the invaders,
  • 6:29 - 6:33
    to bring relief to the oppressed victims
  • 6:33 - 6:36
    and of course to establish
    an Islamic state;
  • 6:36 - 6:39
    a caliphate for God's rule.
  • 6:39 - 6:41
    And I did this openly.
  • 6:42 - 6:44
    I didn't break any laws.
  • 6:45 - 6:48
    I was proud and grateful to be British --
  • 6:48 - 6:49
    I still am.
  • 6:50 - 6:54
    And I bore no hostility
    against this, my country,
  • 6:54 - 6:58
    nor enmity towards
    the non-Muslim citizens,
  • 6:58 - 7:00
    and I still don't.
  • 7:02 - 7:05
    During one battle in Afghanistan,
  • 7:05 - 7:08
    some British men and I
    formed a special bond
  • 7:08 - 7:11
    with a 15-year-old Afghani boy,
  • 7:11 - 7:13
    Abdullah,
  • 7:13 - 7:15
    an innocent, loving and lovable kid
  • 7:15 - 7:18
    who was always eager to please.
  • 7:19 - 7:21
    He was poor.
  • 7:21 - 7:24
    And boys like him did
    menial tasks in the camp.
  • 7:25 - 7:27
    And he seemed happy enough,
  • 7:27 - 7:28
    but I couldn't help wonder --
  • 7:28 - 7:31
    his parents must have missed him dearly.
  • 7:32 - 7:36
    And they must have dreamt
    about a better future for him.
  • 7:38 - 7:41
    A victim of circumstance
    caught up in a war,
  • 7:41 - 7:43
    cruelly thrust upon him
  • 7:43 - 7:46
    by the cruel circumstances of the time.
  • 7:49 - 7:55
    One day I picked up this unexploded
    mortar shell in a trench,
  • 7:55 - 7:59
    and I had it deposited
    in a makeshift mud hut lab.
  • 7:59 - 8:02
    And I went out on a short,
    pointless skirmish --
  • 8:02 - 8:05
    always pointless --
  • 8:05 - 8:06
    and I came back a few hours later
  • 8:06 - 8:09
    to discover he was dead.
  • 8:09 - 8:12
    He had tried to recover
    explosives from that shell.
  • 8:12 - 8:16
    It exploded and he died a violent death,
  • 8:16 - 8:20
    blown to bits by the very same device
    that had proved harmless to me.
  • 8:21 - 8:24
    So I started to question.
  • 8:25 - 8:29
    How did his death serve any purpose?
  • 8:31 - 8:33
    Why did he die and I lived?
  • 8:34 - 8:35
    I carried on.
  • 8:35 - 8:37
    I fought in Kashmir.
  • 8:37 - 8:40
    I also recruited for the Philippines,
  • 8:40 - 8:42
    Bosnia and Chechnya.
  • 8:43 - 8:45
    And the questions grew.
  • 8:46 - 8:48
    Later in Burma,
  • 8:48 - 8:50
    I came across Rohingya fighters,
  • 8:50 - 8:53
    who were barely teenagers,
  • 8:53 - 8:54
    born and brought up in the jungle,
  • 8:54 - 8:57
    carrying machine guns
    and grenade launches.
  • 9:00 - 9:06
    I met two 13-year-olds with soft
    manners and gentle voices.
  • 9:07 - 9:08
    Looking at me,
  • 9:08 - 9:12
    they begged me to take
    them away to England.
  • 9:17 - 9:20
    They simply wanted to go to school --
  • 9:20 - 9:22
    that was their dream.
  • 9:24 - 9:26
    My family --
  • 9:26 - 9:27
    my children of the same age --
  • 9:27 - 9:30
    were living at home in the UK,
  • 9:30 - 9:32
    going to school,
  • 9:32 - 9:33
    living a safe life.
  • 9:34 - 9:35
    And I couldn't help wonder
  • 9:35 - 9:39
    how much these young boys
    must have spoken to one another
  • 9:39 - 9:42
    about their dreams for such a life.
  • 9:43 - 9:46
    Victims of circumstances.
  • 9:46 - 9:49
    These two young boys --
  • 9:49 - 9:50
    sleeping rough on the ground,
  • 9:50 - 9:52
    looking up at the stars --
  • 9:52 - 9:54
    cynically exploited by their leaders
  • 9:54 - 9:57
    for their personal lust
    for glory and power.
  • 9:58 - 10:01
    I soon witnessed boys
    like them killing one another
  • 10:01 - 10:04
    in conflicts between rival groups.
  • 10:06 - 10:10
    And it was the same everywhere ...
  • 10:10 - 10:12
    Afghanistan, Kashmir, Burma,
  • 10:12 - 10:15
    Philipines, Chechnya;
  • 10:15 - 10:19
    petty warlords got the young
    and vulnerable to kill one another
  • 10:19 - 10:21
    in the name of jihad.
  • 10:23 - 10:25
    Muslims against Muslims.
  • 10:26 - 10:30
    Not protecting anyone against
    invaders or occupiers;
  • 10:30 - 10:33
    not bringing relief to the oppressed.
  • 10:34 - 10:36
    Children being used --
  • 10:36 - 10:38
    cynically exploited;
  • 10:38 - 10:43
    people dying in conflicts which
    I was supporting in the name of jihad.
  • 10:45 - 10:47
    And it still carries on today.
  • 10:52 - 10:56
    Realizing that the violent jihad
  • 10:56 - 11:02
    I had engaged in abroad
  • 11:02 - 11:06
    was so different --
  • 11:06 - 11:10
    such a chasm between
    what I had experienced
  • 11:10 - 11:13
    and what I thought was sacred duty --
  • 11:13 - 11:17
    I had to reflect on my
    activities here in the UK.
  • 11:18 - 11:21
    I had to consider my preaching,
  • 11:21 - 11:22
    recruiting,
  • 11:22 - 11:23
    fundraising,
  • 11:23 - 11:24
    training,
  • 11:24 - 11:27
    but most importantly, radicalizing --
  • 11:27 - 11:29
    sending young people to fight and die
  • 11:29 - 11:30
    as I was doing --
  • 11:30 - 11:33
    all totally wrong.
  • 11:36 - 11:40
    So I got involved in violent
    jihad in the mid '80s,
  • 11:40 - 11:42
    starting with Afghanistan.
  • 11:43 - 11:46
    And by the time I finished
    it was in the year 2000.
  • 11:47 - 11:49
    I was completely immersed in it.
  • 11:49 - 11:51
    All around me people supported,
  • 11:51 - 11:52
    applauded,
  • 11:52 - 11:55
    even celebrated what
    we were doing in their name.
  • 11:56 - 11:58
    But by the time I learned to get out,
  • 11:58 - 12:01
    completely disillusioned in the year 2000,
  • 12:01 - 12:03
    15 years had passed.
  • 12:05 - 12:07
    So what goes wrong?
  • 12:09 - 12:14
    We were so busy talking about virtue,
  • 12:14 - 12:17
    and we were blinded by a cause.
  • 12:20 - 12:25
    And we did not give ourselves a chance
    to develop a virtuous character.
  • 12:26 - 12:30
    We told ourselves we were
    fighting for the oppressed,
  • 12:30 - 12:33
    but these were unwinnable wars.
  • 12:34 - 12:38
    We became the very instrument
    through which more deaths occurred,
  • 12:38 - 12:41
    complicit in causing further misery
  • 12:41 - 12:44
    for the selfish benefit of the cruel few.
  • 12:53 - 12:54
    So over time --
  • 12:54 - 12:57
    a very long time --
  • 12:57 - 12:59
    I opened my eyes.
  • 13:00 - 13:05
    I began to dare to face the truth,
  • 13:05 - 13:08
    to think,
  • 13:08 - 13:10
    to face the hard questions.
  • 13:10 - 13:13
    I got in touch with my soul.
  • 13:22 - 13:24
    What have I learned?
  • 13:25 - 13:31
    That people who engage
    in violent jihadism,
  • 13:31 - 13:35
    that people who are drawn
    to these types of extremisms,
  • 13:35 - 13:37
    are not that different to everyone else.
  • 13:38 - 13:41
    But I believe such people can change.
  • 13:42 - 13:45
    They can regain their hearts
    and restore them
  • 13:45 - 13:49
    by filling them with human
    values that heal.
  • 13:55 - 13:58
    When we ignore the realities,
  • 13:58 - 14:03
    we discover that we accept what
    we are told without critical reflection.
  • 14:06 - 14:10
    I will ignore the gifts and advantages
    that many of us would cherish
  • 14:10 - 14:13
    even for a single moment in their lives.
  • 14:17 - 14:20
    I engaged in actions
    I thought were correct.
  • 14:22 - 14:26
    But now I began to question
    how I knew what I knew.
  • 14:28 - 14:32
    I endlessly told others
    to accept the truth,
  • 14:32 - 14:36
    but I failed to give
    doubt its rightful place.
  • 14:41 - 14:46
    This conviction that people can change
    is rooted in my experience,
  • 14:46 - 14:48
    my own journey.
  • 14:49 - 14:51
    Through wide reading,
  • 14:51 - 14:52
    reflecting,
  • 14:52 - 14:53
    contemplation,
  • 14:53 - 14:54
    self-knowledge,
  • 14:54 - 14:55
    I discovered --
  • 14:55 - 15:01
    I realized that Islamists' world
    of us and them is false and unjust.
  • 15:05 - 15:10
    Through considering the uncertainties
    in all that we had asserted,
  • 15:10 - 15:11
    to the inviolable truths --
  • 15:11 - 15:15
    incontestable truths --
  • 15:15 - 15:19
    I developed a more nuanced understanding.
  • 15:25 - 15:30
    I realized that in a world crowded
    with variation and contradiction,
  • 15:30 - 15:31
    foolish preachers --
  • 15:31 - 15:34
    only foolish preachers
    like I used to be --
  • 15:34 - 15:40
    see no paradox in the myths and fictions
    they use to assert authenticity.
  • 15:41 - 15:46
    So I understood the vital
    importance of self-knowledge,
  • 15:46 - 15:48
    politcal awareness
  • 15:48 - 15:54
    and the necessity for a deep and wide
    understanding of our committments
  • 15:54 - 15:55
    and our actions,
  • 15:55 - 15:57
    how they effect others.
  • 15:59 - 16:00
    So my plea today to everyone,
  • 16:00 - 16:07
    especially those who sincerely
    believe in Islamist jihadism ...
  • 16:07 - 16:11
    refuse dogmatic authority;
  • 16:11 - 16:15
    let go of anger, hatred and violence;
  • 16:15 - 16:17
    learn to right wrongs
  • 16:17 - 16:22
    without even attempting to justify
    cruel, unjust and futile behavior.
  • 16:25 - 16:28
    Instead create a few
    beautiful and useful things
  • 16:28 - 16:31
    that outlive us.
  • 16:33 - 16:35
    Approach the world --
  • 16:35 - 16:36
    life --
  • 16:36 - 16:37
    with love.
  • 16:38 - 16:40
    [In all,] learn to develop,
  • 16:40 - 16:41
    or cultivate your hearts
  • 16:41 - 16:45
    to see goodness, beauty and truth
    in others and in the world.
  • 16:45 - 16:49
    That way we do matter
    more to ourselves ...
  • 16:49 - 16:51
    to each other,
  • 16:51 - 16:52
    to our communities;
  • 16:52 - 16:54
    and for me,
  • 16:54 - 16:55
    to God.
  • 16:55 - 16:57
    This is jihad --
  • 16:57 - 16:58
    my true jihad.
  • 16:59 - 17:00
    Thank you.
  • 17:00 - 17:03
    (Applause)
Title:
Inside the mind of a former radical jihadist
Speaker:
Manwar Ali
Description:

more » « less
Video Language:
English
Team:
closed TED
Project:
TEDTalks
Duration:
17:22

English subtitles

Revisions Compare revisions