0:00:01.010,0:00:04.984 Today I stand before you[br]as a man who lives life to the full 0:00:04.984,0:00:06.569 in the here and now. 0:00:07.466,0:00:09.196 But for a long time, 0:00:09.196,0:00:10.834 I lived for death. 0:00:12.145,0:00:13.892 I was a young man who believed 0:00:13.892,0:00:18.546 that jihad is to be understood[br]in the language for force and violence. 0:00:21.040,0:00:24.614 I tried to right wrongs[br]through power and aggression. 0:00:25.719,0:00:31.021 I had deep concerns[br]for the suffering of others 0:00:31.021,0:00:34.633 and a strong desire to help[br]and bring relief to them. 0:00:37.391,0:00:40.772 I thought violent Jihad was noble, 0:00:40.772,0:00:42.055 chivalrous 0:00:42.055,0:00:43.785 and the best way to help. 0:00:45.840,0:00:47.758 At a time when so many of our people -- 0:00:47.758,0:00:49.022 young people especially -- 0:00:49.022,0:00:51.739 are at risk of radicalization 0:00:51.739,0:00:53.586 through groups like Al Qaeda, 0:00:53.586,0:00:54.618 Islamic State 0:00:54.618,0:00:56.241 and others, 0:00:56.241,0:00:57.727 when these groups are claiming 0:00:57.727,0:01:02.766 that their horrific brutality[br]and violence are true jihad, 0:01:02.766,0:01:06.933 I want to say that their idea[br]of Jihad is wrong -- 0:01:06.933,0:01:08.233 completely wrong -- 0:01:08.233,0:01:10.335 as was mine, then. 0:01:11.518,0:01:14.782 Jihad means to strive to one's utmost. 0:01:14.782,0:01:17.802 It includes exertion and spirituality, 0:01:17.802,0:01:19.241 self-purification 0:01:19.241,0:01:21.001 and devotion. 0:01:22.684,0:01:25.555 It refers to positive transformation 0:01:25.555,0:01:29.701 through learning, wisdom[br]and remembrance of God. 0:01:29.701,0:01:33.892 The word jihad stands for all[br]those meanings as a whole. 0:01:35.233,0:01:39.639 Jihad may at times take[br]the form of fighting, 0:01:39.639,0:01:41.574 but only sometimes, 0:01:41.574,0:01:44.462 under strict conditions, 0:01:44.462,0:01:46.983 within rules and limits. 0:01:48.085,0:01:49.092 In Islam, 0:01:49.092,0:01:54.444 the benefit of an act must outweigh[br]the harm or hardship it entails. 0:01:55.426,0:01:57.303 More importantly, 0:01:57.303,0:02:02.070 the verses in the Koran that are[br]connected to jihad [of] fighting, 0:02:02.070,0:02:07.542 do not cancel out the verses[br]that talk about forgiveness, 0:02:07.542,0:02:08.954 benevolence, 0:02:08.954,0:02:10.712 or patience. 0:02:13.587,0:02:18.336 But now I believe that there are no[br]circumstances on Earth 0:02:18.336,0:02:20.916 where a violent jihad is permissible, 0:02:20.916,0:02:24.315 because it will lead to greater harm. 0:02:25.919,0:02:28.648 But now the idea of Jihad[br]has been hijacked. 0:02:28.648,0:02:31.987 It has been perverted[br]to mean violent struggle 0:02:31.987,0:02:34.950 wherever Muslims[br]are undergoing difficulties, 0:02:34.950,0:02:36.883 and turned into terrorism 0:02:36.883,0:02:39.970 by fascistic Islamists like Al Qaeda, 0:02:39.970,0:02:40.971 Islamic State 0:02:40.971,0:02:42.264 and others. 0:02:42.586,0:02:44.468 But I have come to understand 0:02:44.468,0:02:48.516 that true jihad means[br]striving to the utmost 0:02:48.516,0:02:52.633 to strengthen and live[br]those qualities which God loves: 0:02:52.633,0:02:53.628 honesty, 0:02:53.628,0:02:55.133 trustworthiness, 0:02:55.133,0:02:57.230 compassion, benevolence, 0:02:57.230,0:02:59.121 reliability, respect, 0:02:59.121,0:03:00.563 truthfulness -- 0:03:00.563,0:03:04.353 human values that so many of us share. 0:03:06.584,0:03:08.516 I was born in Bangladesh, 0:03:08.516,0:03:10.695 but grew up mostly in England. 0:03:10.695,0:03:12.594 And I went to school here. 0:03:12.834,0:03:15.178 My father was an academic, 0:03:15.178,0:03:17.565 and we were in the UK through his work. 0:03:18.613,0:03:23.228 In 1971 we were in Bangladesh[br]when everything changed. 0:03:24.509,0:03:28.091 The War of Independence[br]impacted upon us terribly, 0:03:28.091,0:03:30.013 pitting family against family, 0:03:30.013,0:03:31.759 neighbor against neighbor. 0:03:31.759,0:03:34.755 And at the age of 12 I experience war, 0:03:34.755,0:03:37.114 destitution in my family, 0:03:37.114,0:03:41.340 the deaths of 22 of my[br]relatives in horrible ways, 0:03:41.340,0:03:45.007 as well as the murder of my elder brother. 0:03:47.298,0:03:51.277 I witnessed killing ... 0:03:51.277,0:03:54.244 animals feeding on corpses in the streets, 0:03:54.244,0:03:55.950 starvation all around me; 0:03:55.950,0:03:58.103 wanton, horrific violence -- 0:03:58.103,0:04:00.019 senseless violence. 0:04:02.615,0:04:04.256 I was a young man -- 0:04:04.256,0:04:05.258 teenager -- 0:04:05.258,0:04:07.372 fascinated by ideas. 0:04:07.372,0:04:09.213 I wanted to learn, 0:04:09.213,0:04:11.902 but I could not go to school[br]for four years. 0:04:13.056,0:04:14.527 After the War of Independence, 0:04:14.527,0:04:18.198 my father was put in prison[br]for two-and-a-half years, 0:04:18.198,0:04:21.453 and I used to visit him[br]every week in prison, 0:04:21.453,0:04:23.830 and homeschooled myself. 0:04:24.331,0:04:27.815 My father was released in 1973 0:04:27.815,0:04:30.497 and he fled to England as a refugee, 0:04:30.497,0:04:32.335 and we soon followed him. 0:04:32.814,0:04:34.259 I was 17. 0:04:34.666,0:04:37.195 So these experiences gave me 0:04:37.195,0:04:41.158 a sharp awareness of the atrocities[br]and injustices in the world. 0:04:42.611,0:04:44.454 And I had a strong desire -- 0:04:44.454,0:04:46.357 a very keen, deep desire -- 0:04:46.357,0:04:47.517 to right wrongs 0:04:47.517,0:04:49.866 and help the victims of oppression. 0:04:50.871,0:04:52.830 While studying at college in the UK, 0:04:52.830,0:04:58.987 I met others who showed me[br]how I could channel that desire 0:04:58.987,0:05:01.575 and help through my religion. 0:05:01.881,0:05:03.444 And I was radicalized -- 0:05:03.444,0:05:07.878 enough to consider violence correct, 0:05:07.878,0:05:11.105 even a virtue under certain circumstances. 0:05:12.489,0:05:15.811 So I became involved[br]in the jihad in Afghanistan. 0:05:15.811,0:05:20.456 I wanted to protect the Muslim [Afghan][br]population against the Soviet army. 0:05:21.239,0:05:23.683 And I thought that was jihad: 0:05:23.683,0:05:25.166 my sacred duty, 0:05:25.166,0:05:27.360 which would be rewarded by God. 0:05:32.177,0:05:34.703 I became a preacher. 0:05:36.267,0:05:41.368 I was one of the pioneers[br]of violent jihad in the UK. 0:05:41.368,0:05:42.845 I recruited, 0:05:42.845,0:05:43.908 I raised funds, 0:05:43.908,0:05:44.974 I trained. 0:05:45.778,0:05:48.485 I confused true jihad 0:05:48.485,0:05:54.105 with this perversion as presented[br]by the fascist Islamists -- 0:05:54.105,0:05:57.054 these people who use the idea of jihad 0:05:57.054,0:06:01.551 to justify their lust for power,[br]authority and control on us. 0:06:01.913,0:06:06.271 A perversion perpetuated today[br]by fascist Islamist groups 0:06:06.271,0:06:09.822 like Al Qaeda, Islamic State and others. 0:06:10.756,0:06:13.858 For a period of around 15 years, 0:06:13.858,0:06:18.694 I fought for short periods of time 0:06:18.694,0:06:20.434 in Kashmir and Burma, 0:06:20.434,0:06:22.284 besides Afghanistan. 0:06:25.278,0:06:29.103 Our aim was to remove the invaders, 0:06:29.103,0:06:33.092 to bring relief to the oppressed victims 0:06:33.092,0:06:36.426 and of course to establish[br]an Islamic state; 0:06:36.426,0:06:38.729 a caliphate for God's rule. 0:06:39.087,0:06:40.942 And I did this openly. 0:06:41.816,0:06:44.396 I didn't break any laws. 0:06:44.790,0:06:47.809 I was proud and grateful to be British -- 0:06:47.809,0:06:49.147 I still am. 0:06:49.633,0:06:54.278 And I bore no hostility[br]against this, my country, 0:06:54.278,0:06:57.910 nor enmity towards[br]the non-Muslim citizens, 0:06:57.910,0:06:59.605 and I still don't. 0:07:02.112,0:07:04.511 During one battle in Afghanistan, 0:07:04.511,0:07:08.258 some British men and I[br]formed a special bond 0:07:08.258,0:07:10.932 with a 15-year-old Afghani boy, 0:07:10.932,0:07:13.103 Abdullah, 0:07:13.103,0:07:15.357 an innocent, loving and lovable kid 0:07:15.357,0:07:18.347 who was always eager to please. 0:07:19.103,0:07:20.507 He was poor. 0:07:21.075,0:07:23.991 And boys like him did[br]menial tasks in the camp. 0:07:24.683,0:07:26.650 And he seemed happy enough, 0:07:26.650,0:07:28.077 but I couldn't help wonder -- 0:07:28.077,0:07:30.800 his parents must have missed him dearly. 0:07:31.733,0:07:36.006 And they must have dreamt[br]about a better future for him. 0:07:37.934,0:07:40.694 A victim of circumstance[br]caught up in a war, 0:07:40.694,0:07:43.125 cruelly thrust upon him 0:07:43.125,0:07:45.883 by the cruel circumstances of the time. 0:07:48.969,0:07:54.618 One day I picked up this unexploded[br]mortar shell in a trench, 0:07:54.618,0:07:58.751 and I had it deposited[br]in a makeshift mud hut lab. 0:07:59.489,0:08:02.414 And I went out on a short,[br]pointless skirmish -- 0:08:02.414,0:08:04.649 always pointless -- 0:08:04.649,0:08:06.230 and I came back a few hours later 0:08:06.230,0:08:08.779 to discover he was dead. 0:08:09.426,0:08:12.335 He had tried to recover[br]explosives from that shell. 0:08:12.335,0:08:15.772 It exploded and he died a violent death, 0:08:15.772,0:08:20.291 blown to bits by the very same device[br]that had proved harmless to me. 0:08:21.373,0:08:24.222 So I started to question. 0:08:24.930,0:08:28.950 How did his death serve any purpose? 0:08:30.628,0:08:33.002 Why did he die and I lived? 0:08:33.863,0:08:35.335 I carried on. 0:08:35.335,0:08:37.038 I fought in Kashmir. 0:08:37.038,0:08:39.819 I also recruited for the Philippines, 0:08:39.819,0:08:42.173 Bosnia and Chechnya. 0:08:42.921,0:08:44.956 And the questions grew. 0:08:46.154,0:08:48.043 Later in Burma, 0:08:48.043,0:08:50.363 I came across Rohingya fighters, 0:08:50.363,0:08:52.586 who were barely teenagers, 0:08:52.586,0:08:54.215 born and brought up in the jungle, 0:08:54.215,0:08:57.018 carrying machine guns[br]and grenade launches. 0:09:00.259,0:09:06.305 I met two 13-year-olds with soft[br]manners and gentle voices. 0:09:07.215,0:09:08.221 Looking at me, 0:09:08.221,0:09:11.571 they begged me to take[br]them away to England. 0:09:17.023,0:09:20.002 They simply wanted to go to school -- 0:09:20.002,0:09:21.942 that was their dream. 0:09:24.481,0:09:25.565 My family -- 0:09:25.565,0:09:27.443 my children of the same age -- 0:09:27.443,0:09:30.412 were living at home in the UK, 0:09:30.412,0:09:31.712 going to school, 0:09:31.712,0:09:33.302 living a safe life. 0:09:34.052,0:09:35.336 And I couldn't help wonder 0:09:35.336,0:09:38.855 how much these young boys[br]must have spoken to one another 0:09:38.855,0:09:41.729 about their dreams for such a life. 0:09:43.200,0:09:45.975 Victims of circumstances. 0:09:46.500,0:09:48.528 These two young boys -- 0:09:48.528,0:09:49.951 sleeping rough on the ground, 0:09:49.951,0:09:51.762 looking up at the stars -- 0:09:51.762,0:09:54.312 cynically exploited by their leaders 0:09:54.312,0:09:57.027 for their personal lust[br]for glory and power. 0:09:58.207,0:10:01.346 I soon witnessed boys[br]like them killing one another 0:10:01.346,0:10:04.326 in conflicts between rival groups. 0:10:05.557,0:10:09.620 And it was the same everywhere ... 0:10:09.620,0:10:12.129 Afghanistan, Kashmir, Burma, 0:10:12.129,0:10:14.607 Philipines, Chechnya; 0:10:14.607,0:10:19.229 petty warlords got the young[br]and vulnerable to kill one another 0:10:19.229,0:10:21.316 in the name of jihad. 0:10:22.511,0:10:24.648 Muslims against Muslims. 0:10:25.957,0:10:30.335 Not protecting anyone against[br]invaders or occupiers; 0:10:30.335,0:10:32.895 not bringing relief to the oppressed. 0:10:34.455,0:10:35.957 Children being used -- 0:10:35.957,0:10:37.695 cynically exploited; 0:10:37.695,0:10:42.533 people dying in conflicts which[br]I was supporting in the name of jihad. 0:10:45.158,0:10:47.208 And it still carries on today. 0:10:52.035,0:10:55.839 Realizing that the violent jihad[br] 0:10:55.839,0:11:01.909 I had engaged in abroad 0:11:01.909,0:11:05.545 was so different -- 0:11:05.545,0:11:10.369 such a chasm between[br]what I had experienced 0:11:10.369,0:11:13.040 and what I thought was sacred duty -- 0:11:13.040,0:11:16.610 I had to reflect on my[br]activities here in the UK. 0:11:18.426,0:11:20.543 I had to consider my preaching, 0:11:20.543,0:11:21.544 recruiting, 0:11:21.544,0:11:22.538 fundraising, 0:11:22.538,0:11:23.874 training, 0:11:23.874,0:11:27.021 but most importantly, radicalizing -- 0:11:27.021,0:11:29.121 sending young people to fight and die 0:11:29.121,0:11:30.431 as I was doing -- 0:11:30.431,0:11:32.881 all totally wrong. 0:11:35.929,0:11:40.176 So I got involved in violent[br]jihad in the mid '80s, 0:11:40.176,0:11:42.428 starting with Afghanistan. 0:11:42.832,0:11:46.462 And by the time I finished[br]it was in the year 2000. 0:11:47.180,0:11:48.848 I was completely immersed in it. 0:11:48.848,0:11:50.927 All around me people supported, 0:11:50.927,0:11:52.203 applauded, 0:11:52.203,0:11:55.074 even celebrated what[br]we were doing in their name. 0:11:56.320,0:11:58.131 But by the time I learned to get out, 0:11:58.131,0:12:00.930 completely disillusioned in the year 2000, 0:12:00.930,0:12:03.304 15 years had passed. 0:12:05.387,0:12:07.073 So what goes wrong? 0:12:08.975,0:12:13.529 We were so busy talking about virtue, 0:12:13.529,0:12:16.860 and we were blinded by a cause. 0:12:20.481,0:12:25.105 And we did not give ourselves a chance[br]to develop a virtuous character. 0:12:25.992,0:12:30.239 We told ourselves we were[br]fighting for the oppressed, 0:12:30.239,0:12:32.788 but these were unwinnable wars. 0:12:34.006,0:12:37.755 We became the very instrument[br]through which more deaths occurred, 0:12:37.755,0:12:41.491 complicit in causing further misery 0:12:41.491,0:12:44.413 for the selfish benefit of the cruel few. 0:12:52.586,0:12:53.718 So over time -- 0:12:53.718,0:12:56.809 a very long time -- 0:12:56.809,0:12:59.004 I opened my eyes. 0:13:00.371,0:13:05.077 I began to dare to face the truth, 0:13:05.077,0:13:07.618 to think, 0:13:07.618,0:13:09.777 to face the hard questions. 0:13:09.777,0:13:12.591 I got in touch with my soul. 0:13:22.400,0:13:24.355 What have I learned? 0:13:24.907,0:13:31.129 That people who engage[br]in violent jihadism, 0:13:31.129,0:13:34.870 that people who are drawn[br]to these types of extremisms, 0:13:34.870,0:13:37.488 are not that different to everyone else. 0:13:38.218,0:13:41.414 But I believe such people can change. 0:13:42.377,0:13:45.292 They can regain their hearts[br]and restore them 0:13:45.292,0:13:48.512 by filling them with human[br]values that heal. 0:13:55.237,0:13:57.580 When we ignore the realities, 0:13:57.580,0:14:02.994 we discover that we accept what[br]we are told without critical reflection. 0:14:05.909,0:14:09.696 I will ignore the gifts and advantages[br]that many of us would cherish 0:14:09.696,0:14:12.678 even for a single moment in their lives. 0:14:16.644,0:14:19.869 I engaged in actions[br]I thought were correct. 0:14:22.019,0:14:26.243 But now I began to question[br]how I knew what I knew. 0:14:28.145,0:14:31.812 I endlessly told others[br]to accept the truth, 0:14:31.812,0:14:35.678 but I failed to give[br]doubt its rightful place. 0:14:41.196,0:14:46.061 This conviction that people can change[br]is rooted in my experience, 0:14:46.061,0:14:47.674 my own journey. 0:14:48.707,0:14:50.585 Through wide reading, 0:14:50.585,0:14:52.385 reflecting, 0:14:52.385,0:14:53.462 contemplation, 0:14:53.462,0:14:54.455 self-knowledge, 0:14:54.455,0:14:55.463 I discovered -- 0:14:55.463,0:15:00.947 I realized that Islamists' world[br]of us and them is false and unjust. 0:15:05.080,0:15:09.710 Through considering the uncertainties[br]in all that we had asserted, 0:15:09.710,0:15:11.431 to the inviolable truths -- 0:15:11.431,0:15:15.171 incontestable truths -- 0:15:15.171,0:15:18.611 I developed a more nuanced understanding. 0:15:24.736,0:15:30.170 I realized that in a world crowded[br]with variation and contradiction, 0:15:30.170,0:15:31.358 foolish preachers -- 0:15:31.358,0:15:34.449 only foolish preachers[br]like I used to be -- 0:15:34.449,0:15:39.919 see no paradox in the myths and fictions[br]they use to assert authenticity. 0:15:41.407,0:15:45.910 So I understood the vital[br]importance of self-knowledge, 0:15:45.910,0:15:48.381 politcal awareness 0:15:48.381,0:15:54.067 and the necessity for a deep and wide[br]understanding of our committments 0:15:54.067,0:15:55.476 and our actions, 0:15:55.476,0:15:57.498 how they effect others. 0:15:58.629,0:16:00.378 So my plea today to everyone, 0:16:00.378,0:16:06.781 especially those who sincerely[br]believe in Islamist jihadism ... 0:16:06.781,0:16:10.677 refuse dogmatic authority; 0:16:10.677,0:16:15.286 let go of anger, hatred and violence; 0:16:15.286,0:16:17.141 learn to right wrongs 0:16:17.141,0:16:22.057 without even attempting to justify[br]cruel, unjust and futile behavior. 0:16:25.102,0:16:28.443 Instead create a few[br]beautiful and useful things 0:16:28.443,0:16:30.515 that outlive us. 0:16:33.407,0:16:34.784 Approach the world -- 0:16:34.784,0:16:35.777 life -- 0:16:35.777,0:16:37.076 with love. 0:16:38.168,0:16:39.624 [In all,] learn to develop, 0:16:39.624,0:16:40.937 or cultivate your hearts 0:16:40.937,0:16:44.549 to see goodness, beauty and truth[br]in others and in the world. 0:16:45.228,0:16:49.363 That way we do matter[br]more to ourselves ... 0:16:49.363,0:16:51.394 to each other, 0:16:51.394,0:16:52.385 to our communities; 0:16:52.385,0:16:53.620 and for me, 0:16:53.620,0:16:54.787 to God. 0:16:55.354,0:16:56.931 This is jihad -- 0:16:56.931,0:16:58.219 my true jihad. 0:16:58.891,0:17:00.120 Thank you. 0:17:00.207,0:17:02.587 (Applause)