-
♪ethereal ambient music♪
-
[lock clicking]
-
[heels clacking]
-
[car engine revving]
-
♪♪♪
-
[Miranda VO] Risk, in general for me, is
really such a comfort zone.
-
I was the kind of kid who was just like,
-
"Dare me to do something."
-
I loved the high of that.
-
♪♪♪
-
(plastic rustling)
-
(mellow music)
-
I am remembering when I was
maybe seven or something
-
playing at the park, and there was...
-
You know those really
intense basketball games
-
with men playing, and
they're just shouting,
-
and like, "I'm open, I'm open!"
-
You know, like,
[chuckling] um...
-
And my friends dared me to join the game.
-
(mellow music)
-
[Miranda] Do you mind holding that for a sec?
-
You can let go whenever
you need to let go.
-
Thank you.
-
[Miranda VO] And I just jumped right in,
-
and just was like, "I'm open, I'm open!"
-
You know, just, like, doing
the [chuckling] stuff I saw them doing,
-
and I was,
like, floating on air,
-
you know, because I'd
done it and I'd survived.
-
[Miranda] Do you mind just holding this?
-
You can let go whenever
you need to let go.
-
[Miranda VO] I guess I learned if you're not afraid --
-
and why
should you really be afraid? --
-
then it's like you can fly
-
You have this superpower.
-
♪curious electronic music♪
-
Now, I usually say I'm a
writer, filmmaker, and artist.
-
So within that,
-
I perform
-
and I work in these different mediums.
-
♪♪♪
-
- Some things are hidden for a reason,
-
and if you see them,
you'll be changed forever.
-
But I wanted to be changed forever.
-
♪♪♪
-
[Miranda VO] It feels like there's
a million sub-genres
-
of all those things,
-
Like, "filmmaker"
-- you know,
-
that, to me, includes feature films.
-
[Miranda] And, cut!
-
And things you might make really quickly
-
and in an afternoon.
-
So I'm not really a purist.
-
♪lush ethereal music♪
-
I started so young.
-
I started when I was 16
-
writing and directing my first play.
-
[heels clacking]
-
I had started a correspondence
with a man in prison.
-
There used to be lists of prison pen pals
-
in the back of magazines,
-
and I really just chose him at random.
-
It wasn't romantic
-
because I was, thank
God, a hardcore feminist,
-
but it was very intimate
once that boundary was set.
-
Dear friend, this is legal paper.
-
I wish it was the opposite.
-
How has your day been so far?
-
You make me wish we could meet.
-
Perhaps we can someday.
-
[Miranda VO] I think he and I were in it
-
for similar reasons in that
we loved the attention.
-
What teenage girl doesn't love...
-
Like, literally, I was
the only person --
-
like, free person
-- in his life.
-
Like, he hadn't gotten
a letter in 12 years.
-
And, like, I became alienated
from my friends
-
and high school ''cause I couldn't
get this across.
-
And so I wrote a play.
-
[man VO] You see, you're making me remember,
-
but I'm not remembering who I was,
-
I'm remembering who I wanted to be,
-
[whispering] and there's a difference.
-
- I shouldn't be able to
know you as well as I do
-
because I know-
- I mean I guess one reason
-
I do these projects with people
-
who are so far out of my world
-
is that I am thrown out
of my own assumptions
-
about how things work or what things mean.
-
Even just very basic things,
like even friendship, like:
-
Is this a friendship?
-
My parents are writers.
-
So from them, I learned how
to be intimate with my work.
-
And I guess my great hope
was that through my work,
-
I could have intimacy with other people.
-
Based on what I saw growing up,
-
I wasn't sure how else to connect.
-
I don't know, the idea of the...
-
you know, the...
-
the found family or the...
-
or the friend that kind of saves you, like, I...
-
those are sometimes in my
work, and it's-- you know,
-
and I know it's a kind of common theme,
-
but I can't-- you know, it...
-
[chuckling] never gets old!
-
[panting] How
about this, right?
-
You think that was the big one?
-
-I don't think that--
-It was.
-
That was it. [laughs]
-
Thank you.
-
[typing]
-
- I dropped out of college,
and did wanna make movies,
-
and was surrounded by women in bands.
-
And we started a recording
studio in our basement,
-
and there was very much the sense
-
that you could just
figure it out yourself.
-
So I started this thing first
called "Big Miss Moviola"
-
and then Moviola tried to sue me.
-
Welcome to "Big Miss Moviola."
-
My name is Miranda July
and I'll be your host.
-
[Miranda VO] The premise was, if
you send me your movie,
-
I'll put it on a VHS tape
-
with nine other movies
made by nine other women...
-
-Hi, Vanessa!
-
[Miranda VO] And send the tape back to you,
-
so we can all see each other's work.
-
I was providing a service that I needed
-
in order to conceive of
myself as a filmmaker.
-
And I did that for 10 years.
-
I did it until...
-
until I made "Me and You
and Everyone We Know."
-
Man: What are you doing in my car?
-
[laughs]
-
I don't know you
-
and you certainly don't
know anything about me.
-
I mean, what if I'm a killer of children?
-
-Woman: [chuckling] Yeah, well, that
would put a damper on things,
-
wouldn't it?
-
Miranda: I remember actually
after that movie came out,
-
and I remember performing
and realizing, like,
-
"They just wanna see the
girl from that movie."
-
That actually was a bit
of a crisis at first.
-
And that was actually the point
when I started making pieces
-
that asked a lot of the audience.
-
[Miranda] When I signal you,
-
if you could just walk
towards me very, very slowly.
-
♪tender piano playing♪
-
I noticed her immediately
-
when I walked out on
stage that first night.
-
[laughter]
-
She seemed to radiate light.
-
♪tender piano playing♪
-
I've been in two relationships
with women before, but...
-
they were more...butch.
-
[laughter]
-
[ambient music]
-
[Miranda VO] So right now, I am finishing a book,
-
a kind of long novel...
-
[footsteps thudding]
-
about the second half of a woman's life.
-
And it's a romance.
-
There's also dance in my book.
-
So, this is my novel.
-
[chuckling] No one's
supposed to see this ever,
-
but, um, so don't
maybe get too close but...
-
Or it's fine, whatever, who cares?
-
This is the first half of it.
-
This is the second half.
-
When I can't write anymore --
like it's diminishing returns --
-
then I come to this rack.
-
It's, like, [chuckling]
costumes to dance in?
-
Or...
-
just to make things in if I want
to become aware of my body in a
-
different way.
-
And then I'd be like,
"Well, this was a costume,
-
but-- but who is
this," you know?
-
♪cool percussive
music playing♪
-
And I started actually buying things
-
that make no sense in real life,
-
but are great for this sort of thing.
-
Like, what is...
-
what is this?
-
♪chipper triangle music♪
-
[Miranda VO] For me, it's always about energy,
-
and excitement, and mystery.
-
And one way it exists is in these mediums,
-
like, simply working in a form
-
with materials you haven't used before
-
is novelty and mystery
in a quite physical sense
-
and sometimes in a collaborative sense.
-
[typing]
-
So day one of the pandemic,
-
the phone rings and it's
an unfamiliar number,
-
and I answer it, and it's
clearly like a solicitor.
-
[dogs barking]
-
- Miranda's phone number
was assigned to me
-
but she wasn't a typical customer
-
that will immediately hang up
the phone or drop the call.
-
- Maybe I'd somehow ended up on a list
-
for self-published authors, which I'm not,
-
and so I answered all their
questions and then I said,
-
"Can I ask you some questions?"
-
Where they were, they
were in the Philippines.
-
How old they were, 27.
-
I couldn't tell what gender they were.
-
They were a trans woman.
-
[Jay VO] Here in the Philippines,
-
most of the religion is Roman Catholic.
-
It's very hard for you to be accepted,
-
to belong in a community.
-
So I started to share my background
-
and she thought of a project
that we can collaborate.
-
This is the edition --
the limited edition --
-
that I made
out of the project with Jay.
-
- She said that she's gonna
be sending me assignment
-
and then I'm going to
respond it in pictures.
-
This is the first assignment
-
where Miranda asked me to bow to something
-
that is also important to
me, which is money and a bed,
-
because I love to sleep.
-
So, in this picture, this is
where all my suffering happens.
-
- The best feeling is when
you throw down a challenge
-
and then the person comes back
with something much bolder.
-
I mean, that is what really
makes it a collaboration,
-
and that happened so regularly with Jay.
-
♪calm ethereal music♪
-
[Jay VO] This is me.
-
So sharing that to Miranda
was really kind of risky,
-
but at the same time happy
-
because I was able to express everything.
-
Like, every pain,
-
every truth that happened to
my life is all in this project.
-
♪♪♪
-
- I mean, I'm full of my own...
-
trust, abandonment issues,
-
like all kinds of things that make it hard
-
to get close to people.
-
So it's a real miracle
-
when something like that
connection can happen.
-
It becomes very beautiful,
and emotional, and light,
-
which is so, so incredible
-
because it's not very light inside me.
-
[chuckles]
-
♪♪♪
-
I think that's part of the risk thing
-
is literally anything is
possible in the moment.
-
♪♪♪
-
It's kind of like being
in a dream or something.
-
♪♪♪
-
But a shared dream, not a
lonely in-my-head dream.
-
♪♪♪
-
And the reward of working this way
-
is creative freedom
-
on every level.
-
♪♪♪
-
♪ethereal ambient music♪
-
♪♪♪