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Today I’m gonna teach you how to celebrate
freedom like a real American. So pay attention!
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Or don’t. It’s a free country.
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That was lesson number one.
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You’re welcome.
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Hi it's Emily from Bite Size Vegan and welcome
to a vegan nugget so American it’s busting
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out of its bite size britches – ‘cause
you ain’t free till you’ve exercised your
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right to grow the glory of your freedom gut
through at least one pair of pants!
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America!
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That was another lesson. Try to keep up.
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Today is the 4th of July. Or the day I’m
posting this video is the 4th. But it doesn’t
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matter when you watch because freedom means
not having to be accurate, consistent or timely.
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That one was a freebie.
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July 4th is the day America celebrates our
independence from foreign tyranny. The day
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our forefathers declared that “all men are
created equal” expect of course “the merciless
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Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare,
is an undistinguished destruction of all ages,
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sexes and conditions.”
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‘Cause it don’t matter who’s been living
on the top of the mountain. It’s the man
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who climbs that thing and plants the flag
that can be named the victor!
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I just made that up. That’s a lesson in
the freedom to sound smart as hell.
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America!
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And anyway, we still honor the Indians with
our football teams and casinos and our annual
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day of thanks for the corn and stuff, which
also involves more football,
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so that’s basically all them.
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America!
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Ya see, freedom means you can change your
mind anytime and admit if you were wrong and
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make up for it. Like that slavery bit. They
fixed that too…almost 90 years later…
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America
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But the most American way to declare your
independence and revel in your freedom is
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with a big-ole-American-BBQ! Serve on up some
burgers and sausage, some ribs and wings,
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mountain of chip and dip, and a couple gallons
of ice cream to eat
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while you blow crap up in the sky!
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America!
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Cause nothing says freedom like the enslavement
of billions!
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Nothing says independence like obliterating
the rights of others.
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Nothing declares equality like deciding who
lives and who dies based on how they look.
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Nothing displays family values like bonding
over the spoils of another
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family’s complete destruction.
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And nothing says America like affording more
rights to your taste buds
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than living, breathing beings.
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America!
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You’re free to give this video a like and
share it around to spark discussion. Or patriotic rage.
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You’re also at liberty to subscribe
to the channel for more vegan content every
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Monday, Wednesday and some Fridays. And if
you so wish, you’re within your rights to
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choose to support Bite Size Vegan’s educational
mission by clicking the support links below
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or in the sidebar. Now go live vegan, in America, and I’ll see you soon.
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I'm gonna go in and out of accent like a maniac in this thing, apparently.
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It's like when I visit my family, my Southern comes back
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and if I record a video then I start talking the way you guys normally hear me talk.
