Today I’m gonna teach you how to celebrate freedom like a real American. So pay attention!
Or don’t. It’s a free country.
That was lesson number one.
You’re welcome.
Hi it's Emily from Bite Size Vegan and welcome to a vegan nugget so American it’s busting
out of its bite size britches – ‘cause you ain’t free till you’ve exercised your
right to grow the glory of your freedom gut through at least one pair of pants!
America!
That was another lesson. Try to keep up.
Today is the 4th of July. Or the day I’m posting this video is the 4th. But it doesn’t
matter when you watch because freedom means not having to be accurate, consistent or timely.
That one was a freebie.
July 4th is the day America celebrates our independence from foreign tyranny. The day
our forefathers declared that “all men are created equal” expect of course “the merciless
Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages,
sexes and conditions.”
‘Cause it don’t matter who’s been living on the top of the mountain. It’s the man
who climbs that thing and plants the flag that can be named the victor!
I just made that up. That’s a lesson in the freedom to sound smart as hell.
America!
And anyway, we still honor the Indians with our football teams and casinos and our annual
day of thanks for the corn and stuff, which also involves more football,
so that’s basically all them.
America!
Ya see, freedom means you can change your mind anytime and admit if you were wrong and
make up for it. Like that slavery bit. They fixed that too…almost 90 years later…
America
But the most American way to declare your independence and revel in your freedom is
with a big-ole-American-BBQ! Serve on up some burgers and sausage, some ribs and wings,
mountain of chip and dip, and a couple gallons of ice cream to eat
while you blow crap up in the sky!
America!
Cause nothing says freedom like the enslavement of billions!
Nothing says independence like obliterating the rights of others.
Nothing declares equality like deciding who lives and who dies based on how they look.
Nothing displays family values like bonding over the spoils of another
family’s complete destruction.
And nothing says America like affording more rights to your taste buds
than living, breathing beings.
America!
You’re free to give this video a like and share it around to spark discussion. Or patriotic rage.
You’re also at liberty to subscribe to the channel for more vegan content every
Monday, Wednesday and some Fridays. And if you so wish, you’re within your rights to
choose to support Bite Size Vegan’s educational mission by clicking the support links below
or in the sidebar. Now go live vegan, in America, and I’ll see you soon.
I'm gonna go in and out of accent like a maniac in this thing, apparently.
It's like when I visit my family, my Southern comes back
and if I record a video then I start talking the way you guys normally hear me talk.