-
Hey, guys, I'm doing
all new material tonight.
-
I have 12 new songs
about my mother's suicide,
-
and one about
a snowman.
-
Might wanna open
with the snowman.
-
- Hey, Joey.
- Hey, Joey.
-
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey, Jo.
-
So how'd it go?
-
Uh, I didn't get the job.
-
(together)
Oh.
-
How could you not get it?
-
You were Santa last year.
-
I don't know,
some fat guy's
-
sleeping with
the store manager.
-
He's not even jolly.
It's all political.
-
So what are you gonna be?
-
Uh, I'm gonna be
one of his helpers.
-
It's just such a slap
in the face, you know?
-
Hey, do you guys know what
you're doing for New Years?
-
[indistinct chatter]
-
Gee! what?
What is wrong with New Years?
-
Well, nothing for you.
You have Paolo.
-
You don't have to face
the horrible pressures
-
of this holiday.
-
Desperate scramble
to find anything with lips
-
just so you can have somebody
to kiss when the ball drops -
-
Man, I'm talking loud!
-
Well, for your information
-
Paolo's gonna be in Rome
this New Year's.
-
So I'll be just as pathetic
as the rest of you.
-
Yeah, you wish.
-
Just that I'm sick of being
a victim this Dick Clark Holiday.
-
I say this year,
no dates, we make a pact.
-
Just the six of us. Dinner.
-
- Sure.
- Okay. We'll do that.
-
You know, I was hoping for
a little more enthusiasm.
-
[cheering]
-
Okay, Phoebe, you're on.
-
Oh, oh, good.
-
Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen
back by popular demand.
-
Miss Phoebe Buffay.
Wooo!
-
[applauding]
-
Hi. Thanks. Hi.
-
Uh, ahem, I wanna
start with a song
-
that means a lot to me
this time of year.
-
♪ I made a man
with eyes of coal ♪
-
♪ And a smile so bewitchin'
-
♪ How was I supposed to know
-
♪ That my mom was dead
in the kitchen ♪
-
♪ La la la la la...
-
♪ My mother's ashes
-
♪ Even her eyelashes
-
♪ Are resting
in a little yellow jar ♪
-
♪ And sometimes
when it's freezing ♪
[indistinct chatter]
-
♪ I feel a little sneezy
and now I... ♪
[indistinct chatter]
-
Excuse me? Excuse me?
-
Yeah, noisy boys.
-
Is it something that you would
to share with the entire group?
-
No, no, that's - that's ok.
-
Well, come on,
if it's important enough
-
to discuss
while I'm playing,
-
then, I assume
it's important enough
-
for everyone
else to hear.
-
That guy's going
home with a note.
-
[clears throat]
Nothin', I was,
I was just saying -
-
- Could you speak up, please?
- Sorry.
-
I was...
-
I was just saying
to my friend that I thought
-
you were the most
beautiful woman
-
that I'd ever seen
in - in my life.
-
And then, he said that,
you - you said you thought
-
- Daryl Hannah
- Daryl Hannah was the most, uh,
beautiful woman
-
that he'd ever seen
in his life.
-
And I said,
Yeah, I liked her in Splash a lot
-
but not so much
in - in Wall Street.
-
I thought she had a...
-
(together)
...hard quality.
-
And, uh, and, uh, well,
Daryl Hannah
-
is beautiful
in a conventional way
-
you are, uh, luminous
with a kind of a delicate grace.
-
Then, uh, that - that - that's
when you started yelling.
-
Okay, we're gonna
take a short break.
-
I think that guy's going
home with more than a note.
