Hey, guys, I'm doing
all new material tonight.

I have 12 new songs
about my mother's suicide,

and one about 
a snowman.

Might wanna open
with the snowman.

- Hey, Joey.
- Hey, Joey.

- Hey, buddy.
- Hey, Jo.

So how'd it go?

Uh, I didn't get the job.

(together)
Oh.

How could you not get it?

You were Santa last year.

I don't know,
some fat guy's

sleeping with 
the store manager.

He's not even jolly.
It's all political.

So what are you gonna be?

Uh, I'm gonna be
one of his helpers.

It's just such a slap
in the face, you know?

Hey, do you guys know what
you're doing for New Years?

[indistinct chatter]

Gee! what?
What is wrong with New Years?

Well, nothing for you.
You have Paolo.

You don't have to face
the horrible pressures

of this holiday.

Desperate scramble
to find anything with lips

just so you can have somebody
to kiss when the ball drops -

Man, I'm talking loud!

Well, for your information

Paolo's gonna be in Rome
this New Year's.

So I'll be just as pathetic
as the rest of you.

Yeah, you wish.

Just that I'm sick of being 
a victim this Dick Clark Holiday.

I say this year,
no dates, we make a pact.

Just the six of us. Dinner.

- Sure.
- Okay. We'll do that.

You know, I was hoping for
a little more enthusiasm.

[cheering]

Okay, Phoebe, you're on.

Oh, oh, good.

Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen
back by popular demand.

Miss Phoebe Buffay.
Wooo!

[applauding]

Hi. Thanks. Hi.

Uh, ahem, I wanna
start with a song

that means a lot to me
this time of year.

♪ I made a man
with eyes of coal ♪

♪ And a smile so bewitchin'

♪ How was I supposed to know

♪ That my mom was dead
in the kitchen ♪

♪ La la la la la...

♪ My mother's ashes

♪ Even her eyelashes

♪ Are resting 
in a little yellow jar ♪

♪ And sometimes
when it's freezing ♪
[indistinct chatter]

♪ I feel a little sneezy
and now I... ♪
[indistinct chatter]

Excuse me? Excuse me?

Yeah, noisy boys.

Is it something that you would
to share with the entire group?

No, no, that's - that's ok.

Well, come on,
if it's important enough

to discuss
while I'm playing,

then, I assume 
it's important enough

for everyone 
else to hear.

That guy's going
home with a note.

[clears throat]
Nothin', I was,
I was just saying -

- Could you speak up, please?
- Sorry.

I was...

I was just saying 
to my friend that I thought

you were the most
beautiful woman

that I'd ever seen
in - in my life.

And then, he said that,
you - you said you thought

- Daryl Hannah
- Daryl Hannah was the most, uh,
beautiful woman

that he'd ever seen
in his life.

And I said, 
Yeah, I liked her in Splash a lot

but not so much
in - in Wall Street.

I thought she had a...

(together)
...hard quality.

And, uh, and, uh, well,
Daryl Hannah

is beautiful 
in a conventional way

you are, uh, luminous
with a kind of a delicate grace.

Then, uh, that - that - that's
when you started yelling.

Okay, we're gonna
take a short break.

I think that guy's going
home with more than a note.