1 00:00:04,604 --> 00:00:06,901 Hey, guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. 2 00:00:06,906 --> 00:00:09,108 I have 12 new songs about my mother's suicide, 3 00:00:09,108 --> 00:00:11,208 and one about a snowman. 4 00:00:13,579 --> 00:00:16,017 Might wanna open with the snowman. 5 00:00:17,404 --> 00:00:18,846 - Hey, Joey. - Hey, Joey. 6 00:00:18,851 --> 00:00:20,086 - Hey, buddy. - Hey, Jo. 7 00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:21,568 So how'd it go? 8 00:00:21,654 --> 00:00:23,954 Uh, I didn't get the job. 9 00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:25,088 (together) Oh. 10 00:00:25,124 --> 00:00:26,805 How could you not get it? 11 00:00:26,825 --> 00:00:28,919 You were Santa last year. 12 00:00:29,595 --> 00:00:31,296 I don't know, some fat guy's 13 00:00:31,296 --> 00:00:33,523 sleeping with the store manager. 14 00:00:34,187 --> 00:00:37,154 He's not even jolly. It's all political. 15 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:39,114 So what are you gonna be? 16 00:00:39,114 --> 00:00:41,054 Uh, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. 17 00:00:41,054 --> 00:00:44,246 It's just such a slap in the face, you know? 18 00:00:44,254 --> 00:00:46,612 Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Years? 19 00:00:46,612 --> 00:00:48,795 [indistinct chatter] 20 00:00:48,795 --> 00:00:51,654 Gee! what? What is wrong with New Years? 21 00:00:51,654 --> 00:00:53,285 Well, nothing for you. You have Paolo. 22 00:00:53,285 --> 00:00:55,021 You don't have to face the horrible pressures 23 00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:56,322 of this holiday. 24 00:00:56,322 --> 00:00:58,310 Desperate scramble to find anything with lips 25 00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:00,827 just so you can have somebody to kiss when the ball drops - 26 00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:02,674 Man, I'm talking loud! 27 00:01:03,725 --> 00:01:05,677 Well, for your information 28 00:01:05,731 --> 00:01:07,692 Paolo's gonna be in Rome this New Year's. 29 00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:10,059 So I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you. 30 00:01:10,060 --> 00:01:11,809 Yeah, you wish. 31 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,927 Just that I'm sick of being a victim this Dick Clark Holiday. 32 00:01:16,927 --> 00:01:19,812 I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. 33 00:01:19,812 --> 00:01:22,160 Just the six of us. Dinner. 34 00:01:22,214 --> 00:01:23,926 - Sure. - Okay. We'll do that. 35 00:01:23,926 --> 00:01:26,026 You know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm. 36 00:01:26,051 --> 00:01:28,094 [cheering] 37 00:01:28,821 --> 00:01:30,059 Okay, Phoebe, you're on. 38 00:01:30,059 --> 00:01:31,626 Oh, oh, good. 39 00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:35,828 Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen back by popular demand. 40 00:01:35,828 --> 00:01:38,692 Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooo! 41 00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:41,034 [applauding] 42 00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:43,625 Hi. Thanks. Hi. 43 00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,705 Uh, ahem, I wanna start with a song 44 00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:49,244 that means a lot to me this time of year. 45 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:57,116 ♪ I made a man with eyes of coal ♪ 46 00:01:57,116 --> 00:02:00,857 ♪ And a smile so bewitchin' 47 00:02:00,886 --> 00:02:03,709 ♪ How was I supposed to know 48 00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:08,995 ♪ That my mom was dead in the kitchen ♪ 49 00:02:10,961 --> 00:02:13,756 ♪ La la la la la... 50 00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:16,673 ♪ My mother's ashes 51 00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:19,807 ♪ Even her eyelashes 52 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:28,408 ♪ Are resting in a little yellow jar ♪ 53 00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:31,906 ♪ And sometimes when it's freezing ♪ [indistinct chatter] 54 00:02:31,917 --> 00:02:36,072 ♪ I feel a little sneezy and now I... ♪ [indistinct chatter] 55 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:37,757 Excuse me? Excuse me? 56 00:02:37,757 --> 00:02:39,506 Yeah, noisy boys. 57 00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:44,874 Is it something that you would to share with the entire group? 58 00:02:46,056 --> 00:02:48,833 No, no, that's - that's ok. 59 00:02:48,834 --> 00:02:50,302 Well, come on, if it's important enough 60 00:02:50,302 --> 00:02:52,071 to discuss while I'm playing, 61 00:02:52,071 --> 00:02:53,572 then, I assume it's important enough 62 00:02:53,572 --> 00:02:55,097 for everyone else to hear. 63 00:02:55,097 --> 00:02:58,428 That guy's going home with a note. 64 00:03:01,489 --> 00:03:04,483 [clears throat] Nothin', I was, I was just saying - 65 00:03:04,483 --> 00:03:06,352 - Could you speak up, please? - Sorry. 66 00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:07,970 I was... 67 00:03:07,972 --> 00:03:09,255 I was just saying to my friend that I thought 68 00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:10,256 you were the most beautiful woman 69 00:03:10,256 --> 00:03:12,898 that I'd ever seen in - in my life. 70 00:03:12,898 --> 00:03:14,193 And then, he said that, you - you said you thought 71 00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:16,762 - Daryl Hannah - Daryl Hannah was the most, uh, beautiful woman 72 00:03:16,762 --> 00:03:18,364 that he'd ever seen in his life. 73 00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:20,373 And I said, Yeah, I liked her in Splash a lot 74 00:03:20,373 --> 00:03:21,667 but not so much in - in Wall Street. 75 00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:22,935 I thought she had a... 76 00:03:22,935 --> 00:03:25,114 (together) ...hard quality. 77 00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:27,506 And, uh, and, uh, well, Daryl Hannah 78 00:03:27,506 --> 00:03:29,609 is beautiful in a conventional way 79 00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:34,250 you are, uh, luminous with a kind of a delicate grace. 80 00:03:35,781 --> 00:03:39,451 Then, uh, that - that - that's when you started yelling. 81 00:03:46,659 --> 00:03:49,069 Okay, we're gonna take a short break. 82 00:03:53,319 --> 00:03:56,318 I think that guy's going home with more than a note.