Hey, guys, I'm doing all new material tonight.
I have 12 new songs about my mother's suicide,
and one about a snowman.
Might wanna open with the snowman.
- Hey, Joey. - Hey, Joey.
- Hey, buddy. - Hey, Jo.
So how'd it go?
Uh, I didn't get the job.
(together) Oh.
How could you not get it?
You were Santa last year.
I don't know, some fat guy's
sleeping with the store manager.
He's not even jolly. It's all political.
So what are you gonna be?
Uh, I'm gonna be one of his helpers.
It's just such a slap in the face, you know?
Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Years?
[indistinct chatter]
Gee! what? What is wrong with New Years?
Well, nothing for you. You have Paolo.
You don't have to face the horrible pressures
of this holiday.
Desperate scramble to find anything with lips
just so you can have somebody to kiss when the ball drops -
Man, I'm talking loud!
Well, for your information
Paolo's gonna be in Rome this New Year's.
So I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
Yeah, you wish.
Just that I'm sick of being a victim this Dick Clark Holiday.
I say this year, no dates, we make a pact.
Just the six of us. Dinner.
- Sure. - Okay. We'll do that.
You know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.
[cheering]
Okay, Phoebe, you're on.
Oh, oh, good.
Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen back by popular demand.
Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooo!
[applauding]
Hi. Thanks. Hi.
Uh, ahem, I wanna start with a song
that means a lot to me this time of year.
♪ I made a man with eyes of coal ♪
♪ And a smile so bewitchin'
♪ How was I supposed to know
♪ That my mom was dead in the kitchen ♪
♪ La la la la la...
♪ My mother's ashes
♪ Even her eyelashes
♪ Are resting in a little yellow jar ♪
♪ And sometimes when it's freezing ♪ [indistinct chatter]
♪ I feel a little sneezy and now I... ♪ [indistinct chatter]
Excuse me? Excuse me?
Yeah, noisy boys.
Is it something that you would to share with the entire group?
No, no, that's - that's ok.
Well, come on, if it's important enough
to discuss while I'm playing,
then, I assume it's important enough
for everyone else to hear.
That guy's going home with a note.
[clears throat] Nothin', I was, I was just saying -
- Could you speak up, please? - Sorry.
I was...
I was just saying to my friend that I thought
you were the most beautiful woman
that I'd ever seen in - in my life.
And then, he said that, you - you said you thought
- Daryl Hannah - Daryl Hannah was the most, uh, beautiful woman
that he'd ever seen in his life.
And I said, Yeah, I liked her in Splash a lot
but not so much in - in Wall Street.
I thought she had a...
(together) ...hard quality.
And, uh, and, uh, well, Daryl Hannah
is beautiful in a conventional way
you are, uh, luminous with a kind of a delicate grace.
Then, uh, that - that - that's when you started yelling.
Okay, we're gonna take a short break.
I think that guy's going home with more than a note.