WEBVTT 00:00:04.604 --> 00:00:06.901 Hey, guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. 00:00:06.906 --> 00:00:09.108 I have 12 new songs about my mother's suicide, 00:00:09.108 --> 00:00:11.208 and one about a snowman. 00:00:13.579 --> 00:00:16.017 Might wanna open with the snowman. 00:00:17.404 --> 00:00:18.846 - Hey, Joey. - Hey, Joey. 00:00:18.851 --> 00:00:20.086 - Hey, buddy. - Hey, Jo. 00:00:20.086 --> 00:00:21.568 So how'd it go? 00:00:21.654 --> 00:00:23.954 Uh, I didn't get the job. 00:00:23.990 --> 00:00:25.088 (together) Oh. 00:00:25.124 --> 00:00:26.805 How could you not get it? 00:00:26.825 --> 00:00:28.919 You were Santa last year. 00:00:29.595 --> 00:00:31.296 I don't know, some fat guy's 00:00:31.296 --> 00:00:33.523 sleeping with the store manager. 00:00:34.187 --> 00:00:37.154 He's not even jolly. It's all political. 00:00:37.470 --> 00:00:39.114 So what are you gonna be? 00:00:39.114 --> 00:00:41.054 Uh, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. 00:00:41.054 --> 00:00:44.246 It's just such a slap in the face, you know? 00:00:44.254 --> 00:00:46.612 Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Years? 00:00:46.612 --> 00:00:48.795 [indistinct chatter] 00:00:48.795 --> 00:00:51.654 Gee! what? What is wrong with New Years? 00:00:51.654 --> 00:00:53.285 Well, nothing for you. You have Paolo. 00:00:53.285 --> 00:00:55.021 You don't have to face the horrible pressures 00:00:55.021 --> 00:00:56.322 of this holiday. 00:00:56.322 --> 00:00:58.310 Desperate scramble to find anything with lips 00:00:58.324 --> 00:01:00.827 just so you can have somebody to kiss when the ball drops - 00:01:00.827 --> 00:01:02.674 Man, I'm talking loud! 00:01:03.725 --> 00:01:05.677 Well, for your information 00:01:05.731 --> 00:01:07.692 Paolo's gonna be in Rome this New Year's. 00:01:07.700 --> 00:01:10.059 So I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you. 00:01:10.060 --> 00:01:11.809 Yeah, you wish. 00:01:13.840 --> 00:01:16.927 Just that I'm sick of being a victim this Dick Clark Holiday. 00:01:16.927 --> 00:01:19.812 I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. 00:01:19.812 --> 00:01:22.160 Just the six of us. Dinner. 00:01:22.214 --> 00:01:23.926 - Sure. - Okay. We'll do that. 00:01:23.926 --> 00:01:26.026 You know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm. 00:01:26.051 --> 00:01:28.094 [cheering] 00:01:28.821 --> 00:01:30.059 Okay, Phoebe, you're on. 00:01:30.059 --> 00:01:31.626 Oh, oh, good. 00:01:31.691 --> 00:01:35.828 Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen back by popular demand. 00:01:35.828 --> 00:01:38.692 Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooo! 00:01:38.698 --> 00:01:41.034 [applauding] 00:01:41.501 --> 00:01:43.625 Hi. Thanks. Hi. 00:01:43.670 --> 00:01:45.705 Uh, ahem, I wanna start with a song 00:01:45.705 --> 00:01:49.244 that means a lot to me this time of year. 00:01:53.613 --> 00:01:57.116 ♪ I made a man with eyes of coal ♪ 00:01:57.116 --> 00:02:00.857 ♪ And a smile so bewitchin' 00:02:00.886 --> 00:02:03.709 ♪ How was I supposed to know 00:02:03.709 --> 00:02:08.995 ♪ That my mom was dead in the kitchen ♪ 00:02:10.961 --> 00:02:13.756 ♪ La la la la la... 00:02:13.766 --> 00:02:16.673 ♪ My mother's ashes 00:02:16.703 --> 00:02:19.807 ♪ Even her eyelashes 00:02:19.807 --> 00:02:28.408 ♪ Are resting in a little yellow jar ♪ 00:02:28.448 --> 00:02:31.906 ♪ And sometimes when it's freezing ♪ [indistinct chatter] 00:02:31.917 --> 00:02:36.072 ♪ I feel a little sneezy and now I... ♪ [indistinct chatter] 00:02:36.089 --> 00:02:37.757 Excuse me? Excuse me? 00:02:37.757 --> 00:02:39.506 Yeah, noisy boys. 00:02:41.227 --> 00:02:44.874 Is it something that you would to share with the entire group? 00:02:46.056 --> 00:02:48.833 No, no, that's - that's ok. 00:02:48.834 --> 00:02:50.302 Well, come on, if it's important enough 00:02:50.302 --> 00:02:52.071 to discuss while I'm playing, 00:02:52.071 --> 00:02:53.572 then, I assume it's important enough 00:02:53.572 --> 00:02:55.097 for everyone else to hear. 00:02:55.097 --> 00:02:58.428 That guy's going home with a note. 00:03:01.489 --> 00:03:04.483 [clears throat] Nothin', I was, I was just saying - 00:03:04.483 --> 00:03:06.352 - Could you speak up, please? - Sorry. 00:03:06.352 --> 00:03:07.970 I was... 00:03:07.972 --> 00:03:09.255 I was just saying to my friend that I thought 00:03:09.255 --> 00:03:10.256 you were the most beautiful woman 00:03:10.256 --> 00:03:12.898 that I'd ever seen in - in my life. 00:03:12.898 --> 00:03:14.193 And then, he said that, you - you said you thought 00:03:14.193 --> 00:03:16.762 - Daryl Hannah - Daryl Hannah was the most, uh, beautiful woman 00:03:16.762 --> 00:03:18.364 that he'd ever seen in his life. 00:03:18.364 --> 00:03:20.373 And I said, Yeah, I liked her in Splash a lot 00:03:20.373 --> 00:03:21.667 but not so much in - in Wall Street. 00:03:21.667 --> 00:03:22.935 I thought she had a... 00:03:22.935 --> 00:03:25.114 (together) ...hard quality. 00:03:25.371 --> 00:03:27.506 And, uh, and, uh, well, Daryl Hannah 00:03:27.506 --> 00:03:29.609 is beautiful in a conventional way 00:03:29.609 --> 00:03:34.250 you are, uh, luminous with a kind of a delicate grace. 00:03:35.781 --> 00:03:39.451 Then, uh, that - that - that's when you started yelling. 00:03:46.659 --> 00:03:49.069 Okay, we're gonna take a short break. 00:03:53.319 --> 00:03:56.318 I think that guy's going home with more than a note.