-
This is us. On our 10th day, we got a little
drunk, and married, yes it's a cliché,
-
but for us turns out equality
isn't exactly equal.
-
We're destroying marriage or reinforcing
stereotypes, depending on who you ask.
-
So for now, for better or
for worse we are husbands.
-
And so love blossoms over time...
-
as two people grow together...
-
and learn to accept one another
for all that they are...
-
Brady and Cheeks entered into
this union six weeks ago,
-
but today is their first chance they've had
to stand up and declare what they've learned
-
about life, and love...
-
and one another...
-
through the vows that
they have prepared.
-
And so they will read those vows now.
-
Snap out of it, Katniss!
-
Hmm? Oh...
-
I do.
-
What are we doing?
-
I have no idea.
-
You do a vow. Then you. Then you.
-
Pow. Pow. Vow. Vow.
-
Just like we rehearsed!
-
Right. Yeah.
-
I... I asked for a teleprompter.
-
Brady...
-
I... promise...
-
to see you...
-
for...
-
see you for who you really are.
-
- I don't know if I...
- Know your lines?
-
Try the cards.
-
Wait...
-
I will always be honest with you.
-
- No secrets.
- Ha!
-
Running off looks bad.
-
Not running after... looks worse.
-
You are ruining our wedding!
-
Oh.
-
That looks expensive.
-
Nah. I got it at Ross.
-
It's part of my breaking vases
collection for when I'm stressed.
-
Deflecting. Humor. Me. Hilarious.
-
Ha ha.
-
I'm glad you bailed first.
I'd've never had the courage.
-
So you're not chasing
after me right now?
-
Cheeks, I ran the other way.
-
I thought you were bad at chasing.
-
No...
-
It's just...
-
I feel like...
-
what I learned about you today...?
-
I learned about you too, Brady.
-
That's two secrets.
-
Except mine was a secret from myself.
-
Yours...
-
was the sneaky cloaky daggery kind.
-
Yeah, well, sorry that the darkest part
of my life hadn't been made clear to you
-
in the whopping three months
we've known each other.
-
Making my point even pointier.
-
You know, when we got drunk-married,
I thought I didn't know you.
-
But now I know...
-
I don't know you!
-
I mean, for all I know, you could be...
-
a secret redhead!
-
A closet republican!
-
A cat person!
-
Wait...
-
Cat person like, someone who likes cats,
or someone who turns into a cat?
-
The point is now a deadly weapon.
-
- Someone who lik...
- Someone who turns... See?
-
Cheeks, we're both reeling from today.
I mean, I've learned more about you
-
in last nine hours than I
have in the last ninety days.
-
Nine hours?
-
Is that all?
-
Feels...
-
more, more like...
-
Are you okay?
-
What... What's wrong?
-
Yeah, yeah. I just...
-
I think I'm having a flashback...
-
I ever tell you, I love seeing
all your tiny clothes in here?
-
It's like my new toy came
with different outfits.
-
You know, if it wasn't
your rewedding day...
-
Bang. Zoom. To the moon...
-
It's just me! Don't
bother putting pants on!
-
Whoa! Haley was makin' funnies.
-
Put pants on. We have people here!
-
Here they are!
-
Oh!
-
Mom, Dad!
-
Dad, Hi!
-
Cheeks... these are my parents.
This is Gillian and Scott.
-
It's such a ple...
-
well, we're finally meeting.
-
Yes. We've heard so much...
-
- and seen... so much.
- So much.
-
The internet is just...
-
absolutely...
-
We have learned about the
"safe search" option.
-
Without it, hello, mister, huh?
-
Well. Meeting you is...
-
also what I'm doing.
-
- I just wish it had been sooner.
- Well, it was just, one of those...
-
You know how a marriage
can just be like...
-
Wahbah! Here I am!
-
Awkward silence.
-
You guys are a family!
-
I'm Haley, b-t-dubbs.
-
Friend of the fam. Star of the
SyFy original, Sharktocopter.
-
We don't own a TV.
-
Click!
-
Well...
-
we just want to say that we support you.
-
Right or wrong.
-
And I'm just glad that you're
paying for it this time around.
-
You've... been around before?
-
I...
-
sorta had a fiancée once.
-
Claudia. And... then...
-
she... may even show up.
-
Fiancée.
-
Claudia.
-
Show up.
-
Well, that is like, three...
-
tiny, little...
-
nuclear explosions of new information.
-
- KABOOM! KABOOM! KABOOM!
- Thank you, Haley.
-
- Splain.
- I was in the closet
-
slash-denial. And Claudia
solved a problem.
-
That must seem ironic to you now.
-
- Cheeks, I didn't mean to lie...
- So why did you?
-
I think maybe I had a vision
of this conversation?
-
You think you can out winning smile me?
-
- I will not be distrac...
- Where is my little faggot?
-
Mom!
-
Don't you raise your
voice in my house, Bitch!
-
Get down here, fucker!
-
I love your guts off.
-
If it isn't my favorite slut!
-
- Slap it. Clasp it. Think about it.
- Slap it. Clasp it. Think about it.
-
And you must be the normal-Mormons!
-
C'mon, now. Don't be scared.
-
Listen I'll be honest,
think you're b-a-n-a-n-a-s, but...
-
pleased nonetheless.
-
Pleased.
-
Awfully.
-
Why don't I show you where
the cake and coffee is?
-
We don't drink caffeine.
-
I don't know what that means.
Come on, come on.
-
I know who this is!
-
Let's take a look at this ocelot.
-
I call you that because I'm
gonna look at your oss-a-lot.
-
Mom, Brady. Brady, Mom.
-
Actually though, we were kinda just in
the middle of a triple kaboom moment...
-
Oh my Todd!
-
He is the living image! Of Todd!
-
Todd?
-
Once my poet mentor.
Then my lover. Now passed,
-
he is my spirit guide.
-
Oh and he's Cheeks' dad, too.
-
Yeah, but Brady doesn't
look anything like...
-
Daddy?
-
Did she say cake?
-
Closed captions: Francesco Bavastro
[www.italiansubs.net]
