WEBVTT 00:00:00.012 --> 00:00:03.180 This is us. On our 10th day, we got a little drunk, and married, yes it's a cliché, 00:00:03.210 --> 00:00:05.082 but for us turns out equality isn't exactly equal. 00:00:05.112 --> 00:00:07.973 We're destroying marriage or reinforcing stereotypes, depending on who you ask. 00:00:08.003 --> 00:00:10.808 So for now, for better or for worse we are husbands. 00:00:14.541 --> 00:00:16.485 And so love blossoms over time... 00:00:16.767 --> 00:00:18.767 as two people grow together... 00:00:18.940 --> 00:00:22.142 and learn to accept one another for all that they are... 00:00:22.473 --> 00:00:25.236 Brady and Cheeks entered into this union six weeks ago, 00:00:25.266 --> 00:00:28.376 but today is their first chance they've had to stand up and declare what they've learned 00:00:28.406 --> 00:00:29.906 about life, and love... 00:00:30.092 --> 00:00:31.375 and one another... 00:00:31.411 --> 00:00:33.738 through the vows that they have prepared. 00:00:38.568 --> 00:00:40.677 And so they will read those vows now. 00:00:41.762 --> 00:00:43.055 Snap out of it, Katniss! 00:00:43.085 --> 00:00:44.304 Hmm? Oh... 00:00:44.823 --> 00:00:45.823 I do. 00:00:51.848 --> 00:00:52.913 What are we doing? 00:00:52.943 --> 00:00:54.193 I have no idea. 00:00:55.429 --> 00:00:57.364 You do a vow. Then you. Then you. 00:00:57.470 --> 00:00:58.920 Pow. Pow. Vow. Vow. 00:00:59.269 --> 00:01:00.769 Just like we rehearsed! 00:01:01.099 --> 00:01:02.384 Right. Yeah. 00:01:02.551 --> 00:01:04.592 I... I asked for a teleprompter. 00:01:07.618 --> 00:01:08.621 Brady... 00:01:09.052 --> 00:01:10.666 I... promise... 00:01:11.414 --> 00:01:12.564 to see you... 00:01:14.396 --> 00:01:15.396 for... 00:01:16.464 --> 00:01:18.514 see you for who you really are. 00:01:19.094 --> 00:01:21.027 - I don't know if I... - Know your lines? 00:01:21.057 --> 00:01:22.084 Try the cards. 00:01:22.667 --> 00:01:23.667 Wait... 00:01:26.310 --> 00:01:28.460 I will always be honest with you. 00:01:29.327 --> 00:01:30.827 - No secrets. - Ha! 00:01:47.214 --> 00:01:48.675 Running off looks bad. 00:01:48.877 --> 00:01:51.182 Not running after... looks worse. 00:01:57.558 --> 00:01:59.397 You are ruining our wedding! 00:02:10.306 --> 00:02:11.309 Oh. 00:02:12.365 --> 00:02:13.928 That looks expensive. 00:02:14.421 --> 00:02:16.021 Nah. I got it at Ross. 00:02:16.515 --> 00:02:19.842 It's part of my breaking vases collection for when I'm stressed. 00:02:22.477 --> 00:02:24.412 Deflecting. Humor. Me. Hilarious. 00:02:24.518 --> 00:02:25.518 Ha ha. 00:02:29.620 --> 00:02:32.154 I'm glad you bailed first. I'd've never had the courage. 00:02:32.184 --> 00:02:34.807 So you're not chasing after me right now? 00:02:34.995 --> 00:02:36.724 Cheeks, I ran the other way. 00:02:36.754 --> 00:02:38.535 I thought you were bad at chasing. 00:02:38.699 --> 00:02:39.699 No... 00:02:39.886 --> 00:02:40.986 It's just... 00:02:42.183 --> 00:02:43.383 I feel like... 00:02:44.824 --> 00:02:46.803 what I learned about you today...? 00:02:47.322 --> 00:02:48.827 I learned about you too, Brady. 00:02:48.857 --> 00:02:50.313 That's two secrets. 00:02:50.419 --> 00:02:52.935 Except mine was a secret from myself. 00:02:53.041 --> 00:02:54.041 Yours... 00:02:54.071 --> 00:02:56.068 was the sneaky cloaky daggery kind. 00:02:56.098 --> 00:02:59.274 Yeah, well, sorry that the darkest part of my life hadn't been made clear to you 00:02:59.304 --> 00:03:01.548 in the whopping three months we've known each other. 00:03:01.578 --> 00:03:03.769 Making my point even pointier. 00:03:03.799 --> 00:03:06.602 You know, when we got drunk-married, I thought I didn't know you. 00:03:06.632 --> 00:03:08.036 But now I know... 00:03:08.115 --> 00:03:09.233 I don't know you! 00:03:09.311 --> 00:03:11.193 I mean, for all I know, you could be... 00:03:11.367 --> 00:03:12.713 a secret redhead! 00:03:13.030 --> 00:03:14.530 A closet republican! 00:03:15.414 --> 00:03:16.505 A cat person! 00:03:16.535 --> 00:03:17.535 Wait... 00:03:17.824 --> 00:03:21.561 Cat person like, someone who likes cats, or someone who turns into a cat? 00:03:22.204 --> 00:03:24.354 The point is now a deadly weapon. 00:03:25.186 --> 00:03:27.825 - Someone who lik... - Someone who turns... See? 00:03:29.066 --> 00:03:32.502 Cheeks, we're both reeling from today. I mean, I've learned more about you 00:03:32.532 --> 00:03:35.489 in last nine hours than I have in the last ninety days. 00:03:35.519 --> 00:03:36.909 Nine hours? 00:03:37.100 --> 00:03:38.200 Is that all? 00:03:41.936 --> 00:03:42.936 Feels... 00:03:44.167 --> 00:03:45.667 more, more like... 00:03:46.695 --> 00:03:47.845 Are you okay? 00:03:48.260 --> 00:03:49.703 What... What's wrong? 00:03:49.733 --> 00:03:51.815 Yeah, yeah. I just... 00:03:52.846 --> 00:03:54.996 I think I'm having a flashback... 00:03:59.860 --> 00:04:02.221 I ever tell you, I love seeing all your tiny clothes in here? 00:04:02.251 --> 00:04:05.169 It's like my new toy came with different outfits. 00:04:05.336 --> 00:04:07.925 You know, if it wasn't your rewedding day... 00:04:08.205 --> 00:04:10.459 Bang. Zoom. To the moon... 00:04:12.803 --> 00:04:14.795 It's just me! Don't bother putting pants on! 00:04:14.825 --> 00:04:17.325 Whoa! Haley was makin' funnies. 00:04:17.355 --> 00:04:19.555 Put pants on. We have people here! 00:04:20.927 --> 00:04:22.347 Here they are! 00:04:22.955 --> 00:04:23.955 Oh! 00:04:24.607 --> 00:04:26.611 Mom, Dad! 00:04:28.444 --> 00:04:30.138 Dad, Hi! 00:04:30.830 --> 00:04:34.051 Cheeks... these are my parents. This is Gillian and Scott. 00:04:34.081 --> 00:04:35.530 It's such a ple... 00:04:35.560 --> 00:04:37.244 well, we're finally meeting. 00:04:37.274 --> 00:04:39.057 Yes. We've heard so much... 00:04:39.087 --> 00:04:40.882 - and seen... so much. - So much. 00:04:40.912 --> 00:04:43.280 The internet is just... 00:04:43.310 --> 00:04:45.114 absolutely... 00:04:45.543 --> 00:04:48.810 We have learned about the "safe search" option. 00:04:48.840 --> 00:04:50.890 Without it, hello, mister, huh? 00:04:51.314 --> 00:04:53.652 Well. Meeting you is... 00:04:53.974 --> 00:04:55.895 also what I'm doing. 00:04:57.314 --> 00:05:00.588 - I just wish it had been sooner. - Well, it was just, one of those... 00:05:00.618 --> 00:05:03.034 You know how a marriage can just be like... 00:05:03.260 --> 00:05:05.229 Wahbah! Here I am! 00:05:13.077 --> 00:05:14.879 Awkward silence. 00:05:15.093 --> 00:05:16.656 You guys are a family! 00:05:16.686 --> 00:05:18.553 I'm Haley, b-t-dubbs. 00:05:18.755 --> 00:05:22.070 Friend of the fam. Star of the SyFy original, Sharktocopter. 00:05:22.100 --> 00:05:23.704 We don't own a TV. 00:05:24.300 --> 00:05:25.300 Click! 00:05:27.580 --> 00:05:28.815 Well... 00:05:28.939 --> 00:05:31.179 we just want to say that we support you. 00:05:31.546 --> 00:05:32.796 Right or wrong. 00:05:33.211 --> 00:05:36.338 And I'm just glad that you're paying for it this time around. 00:05:38.633 --> 00:05:41.376 You've... been around before? 00:05:41.631 --> 00:05:42.631 I... 00:05:43.263 --> 00:05:45.949 sorta had a fiancée once. 00:05:46.731 --> 00:05:48.759 Claudia. And... then... 00:05:49.767 --> 00:05:52.175 she... may even show up. 00:05:53.490 --> 00:05:54.490 Fiancée. 00:05:55.291 --> 00:05:56.291 Claudia. 00:05:57.597 --> 00:05:58.597 Show up. 00:05:59.660 --> 00:06:02.549 Well, that is like, three... 00:06:03.048 --> 00:06:04.172 tiny, little... 00:06:04.365 --> 00:06:07.255 nuclear explosions of new information. 00:06:07.285 --> 00:06:10.235 - KABOOM! KABOOM! KABOOM! - Thank you, Haley. 00:06:13.716 --> 00:06:15.869 - Splain. - I was in the closet 00:06:16.232 --> 00:06:18.442 slash-denial. And Claudia solved a problem. 00:06:18.472 --> 00:06:20.266 That must seem ironic to you now. 00:06:20.296 --> 00:06:22.759 - Cheeks, I didn't mean to lie... - So why did you? 00:06:23.263 --> 00:06:26.198 I think maybe I had a vision of this conversation? 00:06:29.263 --> 00:06:32.050 You think you can out winning smile me? 00:06:32.220 --> 00:06:35.495 - I will not be distrac... - Where is my little faggot? 00:06:35.792 --> 00:06:36.792 Mom! 00:06:39.713 --> 00:06:42.059 Don't you raise your voice in my house, Bitch! 00:06:42.089 --> 00:06:43.758 Get down here, fucker! 00:06:43.788 --> 00:06:45.338 I love your guts off. 00:06:49.713 --> 00:06:52.087 If it isn't my favorite slut! 00:06:52.472 --> 00:06:55.679 - Slap it. Clasp it. Think about it. - Slap it. Clasp it. Think about it. 00:06:56.693 --> 00:06:59.232 And you must be the normal-Mormons! 00:06:59.379 --> 00:07:01.279 C'mon, now. Don't be scared. 00:07:01.724 --> 00:07:05.277 Listen I'll be honest, think you're b-a-n-a-n-a-s, but... 00:07:05.764 --> 00:07:07.294 pleased nonetheless. 00:07:07.690 --> 00:07:08.690 Pleased. 00:07:08.720 --> 00:07:09.720 Awfully. 00:07:11.077 --> 00:07:13.332 Why don't I show you where the cake and coffee is? 00:07:13.362 --> 00:07:14.990 We don't drink caffeine. 00:07:15.020 --> 00:07:17.607 I don't know what that means. Come on, come on. 00:07:18.238 --> 00:07:20.646 I know who this is! 00:07:24.099 --> 00:07:27.453 Let's take a look at this ocelot. 00:07:27.483 --> 00:07:30.919 I call you that because I'm gonna look at your oss-a-lot. 00:07:32.325 --> 00:07:34.557 Mom, Brady. Brady, Mom. 00:07:34.587 --> 00:07:38.460 Actually though, we were kinda just in the middle of a triple kaboom moment... 00:07:39.138 --> 00:07:40.407 Oh my Todd! 00:07:41.200 --> 00:07:43.579 He is the living image! Of Todd! 00:07:43.609 --> 00:07:44.609 Todd? 00:07:44.987 --> 00:07:48.008 Once my poet mentor. Then my lover. Now passed, 00:07:48.280 --> 00:07:49.930 he is my spirit guide. 00:07:50.860 --> 00:07:52.674 Oh and he's Cheeks' dad, too. 00:07:54.419 --> 00:07:56.919 Yeah, but Brady doesn't look anything like... 00:08:00.549 --> 00:08:01.549 Daddy? 00:08:05.822 --> 00:08:07.172 Did she say cake? 00:08:07.202 --> 00:08:11.499 Closed captions: Francesco Bavastro [www.italiansubs.net]