0:00:00.012,0:00:03.180
This is us. On our 10th day, we got a little[br]drunk, and married, yes it's a cliché,

0:00:03.210,0:00:05.082
but for us turns out equality[br]isn't exactly equal.

0:00:05.112,0:00:07.973
We're destroying marriage or reinforcing[br]stereotypes, depending on who you ask.

0:00:08.003,0:00:10.808
So for now, for better or[br]for worse we are husbands.

0:00:14.541,0:00:16.485
And so love blossoms over time...

0:00:16.767,0:00:18.767
as two people grow together...

0:00:18.940,0:00:22.142
and learn to accept one another[br]for all that they are...

0:00:22.473,0:00:25.236
Brady and Cheeks entered into[br]this union six weeks ago,

0:00:25.266,0:00:28.376
but today is their first chance they've had[br]to stand up and declare what they've learned

0:00:28.406,0:00:29.906
about life, and love...

0:00:30.092,0:00:31.375
and one another...

0:00:31.411,0:00:33.738
through the vows that[br]they have prepared.

0:00:38.568,0:00:40.677
And so they will read those vows now.

0:00:41.762,0:00:43.055
Snap out of it, Katniss!

0:00:43.085,0:00:44.304
Hmm? Oh...

0:00:44.823,0:00:45.823
I do.

0:00:51.848,0:00:52.913
What are we doing?

0:00:52.943,0:00:54.193
I have no idea.

0:00:55.429,0:00:57.364
You do a vow. Then you. Then you.

0:00:57.470,0:00:58.920
Pow. Pow. Vow. Vow.

0:00:59.269,0:01:00.769
Just like we rehearsed!

0:01:01.099,0:01:02.384
Right. Yeah.

0:01:02.551,0:01:04.592
I... I asked for a teleprompter.

0:01:07.618,0:01:08.621
Brady...

0:01:09.052,0:01:10.666
I... promise...

0:01:11.414,0:01:12.564
to see you...

0:01:14.396,0:01:15.396
for...

0:01:16.464,0:01:18.514
see you for who you really are.

0:01:19.094,0:01:21.027
- I don't know if I...[br]- Know your lines?

0:01:21.057,0:01:22.084
Try the cards.

0:01:22.667,0:01:23.667
Wait...

0:01:26.310,0:01:28.460
I will always be honest with you.

0:01:29.327,0:01:30.827
- No secrets.[br]- Ha!

0:01:47.214,0:01:48.675
Running off looks bad.

0:01:48.877,0:01:51.182
Not running after... looks worse.

0:01:57.558,0:01:59.397
You are ruining our wedding!

0:02:10.306,0:02:11.309
Oh.

0:02:12.365,0:02:13.928
That looks expensive.

0:02:14.421,0:02:16.021
Nah. I got it at Ross.

0:02:16.515,0:02:19.842
It's part of my breaking vases[br]collection for when I'm stressed.

0:02:22.477,0:02:24.412
Deflecting. Humor. Me. Hilarious.

0:02:24.518,0:02:25.518
Ha ha.

0:02:29.620,0:02:32.154
I'm glad you bailed first.[br]I'd've never had the courage.

0:02:32.184,0:02:34.807
So you're not chasing[br]after me right now?

0:02:34.995,0:02:36.724
Cheeks, I ran the other way.

0:02:36.754,0:02:38.535
I thought you were bad at chasing.

0:02:38.699,0:02:39.699
No...

0:02:39.886,0:02:40.986
It's just...

0:02:42.183,0:02:43.383
I feel like...

0:02:44.824,0:02:46.803
what I learned about you today...?

0:02:47.322,0:02:48.827
I learned about you too, Brady.

0:02:48.857,0:02:50.313
That's two secrets.

0:02:50.419,0:02:52.935
Except mine was a secret from myself.

0:02:53.041,0:02:54.041
Yours...

0:02:54.071,0:02:56.068
was the sneaky cloaky daggery kind.

0:02:56.098,0:02:59.274
Yeah, well, sorry that the darkest part[br]of my life hadn't been made clear to you

0:02:59.304,0:03:01.548
in the whopping three months[br]we've known each other.

0:03:01.578,0:03:03.769
Making my point even pointier.

0:03:03.799,0:03:06.602
You know, when we got drunk-married,[br]I thought I didn't know you.

0:03:06.632,0:03:08.036
But now I know...

0:03:08.115,0:03:09.233
I don't know you!

0:03:09.311,0:03:11.193
I mean, for all I know, you could be...

0:03:11.367,0:03:12.713
a secret redhead!

0:03:13.030,0:03:14.530
A closet republican!

0:03:15.414,0:03:16.505
A cat person!

0:03:16.535,0:03:17.535
Wait...

0:03:17.824,0:03:21.561
Cat person like, someone who likes cats,[br]or someone who turns into a cat?

0:03:22.204,0:03:24.354
The point is now a deadly weapon.

0:03:25.186,0:03:27.825
- Someone who lik...[br]- Someone who turns... See?

0:03:29.066,0:03:32.502
Cheeks, we're both reeling from today.[br]I mean, I've learned more about you

0:03:32.532,0:03:35.489
in last nine hours than I[br]have in the last ninety days.

0:03:35.519,0:03:36.909
Nine hours?

0:03:37.100,0:03:38.200
Is that all?

0:03:41.936,0:03:42.936
Feels...

0:03:44.167,0:03:45.667
more, more like...

0:03:46.695,0:03:47.845
Are you okay?

0:03:48.260,0:03:49.703
What... What's wrong?

0:03:49.733,0:03:51.815
Yeah, yeah. I just...

0:03:52.846,0:03:54.996
I think I'm having a flashback...

0:03:59.860,0:04:02.221
I ever tell you, I love seeing[br]all your tiny clothes in here?

0:04:02.251,0:04:05.169
It's like my new toy came[br]with different outfits.

0:04:05.336,0:04:07.925
You know, if it wasn't[br]your rewedding day...

0:04:08.205,0:04:10.459
Bang. Zoom. To the moon...

0:04:12.803,0:04:14.795
It's just me! Don't[br]bother putting pants on!

0:04:14.825,0:04:17.325
Whoa! Haley was makin' funnies.

0:04:17.355,0:04:19.555
Put pants on. We have people here!

0:04:20.927,0:04:22.347
Here they are!

0:04:22.955,0:04:23.955
Oh!

0:04:24.607,0:04:26.611
Mom, Dad!

0:04:28.444,0:04:30.138
Dad, Hi!

0:04:30.830,0:04:34.051
Cheeks... these are my parents.[br]This is Gillian and Scott.

0:04:34.081,0:04:35.530
It's such a ple...

0:04:35.560,0:04:37.244
well, we're finally meeting.

0:04:37.274,0:04:39.057
Yes. We've heard so much...

0:04:39.087,0:04:40.882
- and seen... so much.[br]- So much.

0:04:40.912,0:04:43.280
The internet is just...

0:04:43.310,0:04:45.114
absolutely...

0:04:45.543,0:04:48.810
We have learned about the[br]"safe search" option.

0:04:48.840,0:04:50.890
Without it, hello, mister, huh?

0:04:51.314,0:04:53.652
Well. Meeting you is...

0:04:53.974,0:04:55.895
also what I'm doing.

0:04:57.314,0:05:00.588
- I just wish it had been sooner.[br]- Well, it was just, one of those...

0:05:00.618,0:05:03.034
You know how a marriage[br]can just be like...

0:05:03.260,0:05:05.229
Wahbah! Here I am!

0:05:13.077,0:05:14.879
Awkward silence.

0:05:15.093,0:05:16.656
You guys are a family!

0:05:16.686,0:05:18.553
I'm Haley, b-t-dubbs.

0:05:18.755,0:05:22.070
Friend of the fam. Star of the[br]SyFy original, Sharktocopter.

0:05:22.100,0:05:23.704
We don't own a TV.

0:05:24.300,0:05:25.300
Click!

0:05:27.580,0:05:28.815
Well...

0:05:28.939,0:05:31.179
we just want to say that we support you.

0:05:31.546,0:05:32.796
Right or wrong.

0:05:33.211,0:05:36.338
And I'm just glad that you're[br]paying for it this time around.

0:05:38.633,0:05:41.376
You've... been around before?

0:05:41.631,0:05:42.631
I...

0:05:43.263,0:05:45.949
sorta had a fiancée once.

0:05:46.731,0:05:48.759
Claudia. And... then...

0:05:49.767,0:05:52.175
she... may even show up.

0:05:53.490,0:05:54.490
Fiancée.

0:05:55.291,0:05:56.291
Claudia.

0:05:57.597,0:05:58.597
Show up.

0:05:59.660,0:06:02.549
Well, that is like, three...

0:06:03.048,0:06:04.172
tiny, little...

0:06:04.365,0:06:07.255
nuclear explosions of new information.

0:06:07.285,0:06:10.235
- KABOOM! KABOOM! KABOOM![br]- Thank you, Haley.

0:06:13.716,0:06:15.869
- Splain.[br]- I was in the closet

0:06:16.232,0:06:18.442
slash-denial. And Claudia[br]solved a problem.

0:06:18.472,0:06:20.266
That must seem ironic to you now.

0:06:20.296,0:06:22.759
- Cheeks, I didn't mean to lie...[br]- So why did you?

0:06:23.263,0:06:26.198
I think maybe I had a vision[br]of this conversation?

0:06:29.263,0:06:32.050
You think you can out winning smile me?

0:06:32.220,0:06:35.495
- I will not be distrac...[br]- Where is my little faggot?

0:06:35.792,0:06:36.792
Mom!

0:06:39.713,0:06:42.059
Don't you raise your[br]voice in my house, Bitch!

0:06:42.089,0:06:43.758
Get down here, fucker!

0:06:43.788,0:06:45.338
I love your guts off.

0:06:49.713,0:06:52.087
If it isn't my favorite slut!

0:06:52.472,0:06:55.679
- Slap it. Clasp it. Think about it.[br]- Slap it. Clasp it. Think about it.

0:06:56.693,0:06:59.232
And you must be the normal-Mormons!

0:06:59.379,0:07:01.279
C'mon, now. Don't be scared.

0:07:01.724,0:07:05.277
Listen I'll be honest,[br]think you're b-a-n-a-n-a-s, but...

0:07:05.764,0:07:07.294
pleased nonetheless.

0:07:07.690,0:07:08.690
Pleased.

0:07:08.720,0:07:09.720
Awfully.

0:07:11.077,0:07:13.332
Why don't I show you where[br]the cake and coffee is?

0:07:13.362,0:07:14.990
We don't drink caffeine.

0:07:15.020,0:07:17.607
I don't know what that means.[br]Come on, come on.

0:07:18.238,0:07:20.646
I know who this is!

0:07:24.099,0:07:27.453
Let's take a look at this ocelot.

0:07:27.483,0:07:30.919
I call you that because I'm[br]gonna look at your oss-a-lot.

0:07:32.325,0:07:34.557
Mom, Brady. Brady, Mom.

0:07:34.587,0:07:38.460
Actually though, we were kinda just in[br]the middle of a triple kaboom moment...

0:07:39.138,0:07:40.407
Oh my Todd!

0:07:41.200,0:07:43.579
He is the living image! Of Todd!

0:07:43.609,0:07:44.609
Todd?

0:07:44.987,0:07:48.008
Once my poet mentor.[br]Then my lover. Now passed,

0:07:48.280,0:07:49.930
he is my spirit guide.

0:07:50.860,0:07:52.674
Oh and he's Cheeks' dad, too.

0:07:54.419,0:07:56.919
Yeah, but Brady doesn't[br]look anything like...

0:08:00.549,0:08:01.549
Daddy?

0:08:05.822,0:08:07.172
Did she say cake?

0:08:07.202,0:08:11.499
Closed captions: Francesco Bavastro[br][www.italiansubs.net]