1
00:00:00,012 --> 00:00:03,180
This is us. On our 10th day, we got a little
drunk, and married, yes it's a cliché,

2
00:00:03,210 --> 00:00:05,082
but for us turns out equality
isn't exactly equal.

3
00:00:05,112 --> 00:00:07,973
We're destroying marriage or reinforcing
stereotypes, depending on who you ask.

4
00:00:08,003 --> 00:00:10,808
So for now, for better or
for worse we are husbands.

5
00:00:14,541 --> 00:00:16,485
And so love blossoms over time...

6
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,767
as two people grow together...

7
00:00:18,940 --> 00:00:22,142
and learn to accept one another
for all that they are...

8
00:00:22,473 --> 00:00:25,236
Brady and Cheeks entered into
this union six weeks ago,

9
00:00:25,266 --> 00:00:28,376
but today is their first chance they've had
to stand up and declare what they've learned

10
00:00:28,406 --> 00:00:29,906
about life, and love...

11
00:00:30,092 --> 00:00:31,375
and one another...

12
00:00:31,411 --> 00:00:33,738
through the vows that
they have prepared.

13
00:00:38,568 --> 00:00:40,677
And so they will read those vows now.

14
00:00:41,762 --> 00:00:43,055
Snap out of it, Katniss!

15
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:44,304
Hmm? Oh...

16
00:00:44,823 --> 00:00:45,823
I do.

17
00:00:51,848 --> 00:00:52,913
What are we doing?

18
00:00:52,943 --> 00:00:54,193
I have no idea.

19
00:00:55,429 --> 00:00:57,364
You do a vow. Then you. Then you.

20
00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:58,920
Pow. Pow. Vow. Vow.

21
00:00:59,269 --> 00:01:00,769
Just like we rehearsed!

22
00:01:01,099 --> 00:01:02,384
Right. Yeah.

23
00:01:02,551 --> 00:01:04,592
I... I asked for a teleprompter.

24
00:01:07,618 --> 00:01:08,621
Brady...

25
00:01:09,052 --> 00:01:10,666
I... promise...

26
00:01:11,414 --> 00:01:12,564
to see you...

27
00:01:14,396 --> 00:01:15,396
for...

28
00:01:16,464 --> 00:01:18,514
see you for who you really are.

29
00:01:19,094 --> 00:01:21,027
- I don't know if I...
- Know your lines?

30
00:01:21,057 --> 00:01:22,084
Try the cards.

31
00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:23,667
Wait...

32
00:01:26,310 --> 00:01:28,460
I will always be honest with you.

33
00:01:29,327 --> 00:01:30,827
- No secrets.
- Ha!

34
00:01:47,214 --> 00:01:48,675
Running off looks bad.

35
00:01:48,877 --> 00:01:51,182
Not running after... looks worse.

36
00:01:57,558 --> 00:01:59,397
You are ruining our wedding!

37
00:02:10,306 --> 00:02:11,309
Oh.

38
00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:13,928
That looks expensive.

39
00:02:14,421 --> 00:02:16,021
Nah. I got it at Ross.

40
00:02:16,515 --> 00:02:19,842
It's part of my breaking vases
collection for when I'm stressed.

41
00:02:22,477 --> 00:02:24,412
Deflecting. Humor. Me. Hilarious.

42
00:02:24,518 --> 00:02:25,518
Ha ha.

43
00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:32,154
I'm glad you bailed first.
I'd've never had the courage.

44
00:02:32,184 --> 00:02:34,807
So you're not chasing
after me right now?

45
00:02:34,995 --> 00:02:36,724
Cheeks, I ran the other way.

46
00:02:36,754 --> 00:02:38,535
I thought you were bad at chasing.

47
00:02:38,699 --> 00:02:39,699
No...

48
00:02:39,886 --> 00:02:40,986
It's just...

49
00:02:42,183 --> 00:02:43,383
I feel like...

50
00:02:44,824 --> 00:02:46,803
what I learned about you today...?

51
00:02:47,322 --> 00:02:48,827
I learned about you too, Brady.

52
00:02:48,857 --> 00:02:50,313
That's two secrets.

53
00:02:50,419 --> 00:02:52,935
Except mine was a secret from myself.

54
00:02:53,041 --> 00:02:54,041
Yours...

55
00:02:54,071 --> 00:02:56,068
was the sneaky cloaky daggery kind.

56
00:02:56,098 --> 00:02:59,274
Yeah, well, sorry that the darkest part
of my life hadn't been made clear to you

57
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,548
in the whopping three months
we've known each other.

58
00:03:01,578 --> 00:03:03,769
Making my point even pointier.

59
00:03:03,799 --> 00:03:06,602
You know, when we got drunk-married,
I thought I didn't know you.

60
00:03:06,632 --> 00:03:08,036
But now I know...

61
00:03:08,115 --> 00:03:09,233
I don't know you!

62
00:03:09,311 --> 00:03:11,193
I mean, for all I know, you could be...

63
00:03:11,367 --> 00:03:12,713
a secret redhead!

64
00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:14,530
A closet republican!

65
00:03:15,414 --> 00:03:16,505
A cat person!

66
00:03:16,535 --> 00:03:17,535
Wait...

67
00:03:17,824 --> 00:03:21,561
Cat person like, someone who likes cats,
or someone who turns into a cat?

68
00:03:22,204 --> 00:03:24,354
The point is now a deadly weapon.

69
00:03:25,186 --> 00:03:27,825
- Someone who lik...
- Someone who turns... See?

70
00:03:29,066 --> 00:03:32,502
Cheeks, we're both reeling from today.
I mean, I've learned more about you

71
00:03:32,532 --> 00:03:35,489
in last nine hours than I
have in the last ninety days.

72
00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:36,909
Nine hours?

73
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:38,200
Is that all?

74
00:03:41,936 --> 00:03:42,936
Feels...

75
00:03:44,167 --> 00:03:45,667
more, more like...

76
00:03:46,695 --> 00:03:47,845
Are you okay?

77
00:03:48,260 --> 00:03:49,703
What... What's wrong?

78
00:03:49,733 --> 00:03:51,815
Yeah, yeah. I just...

79
00:03:52,846 --> 00:03:54,996
I think I'm having a flashback...

80
00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:02,221
I ever tell you, I love seeing
all your tiny clothes in here?

81
00:04:02,251 --> 00:04:05,169
It's like my new toy came
with different outfits.

82
00:04:05,336 --> 00:04:07,925
You know, if it wasn't
your rewedding day...

83
00:04:08,205 --> 00:04:10,459
Bang. Zoom. To the moon...

84
00:04:12,803 --> 00:04:14,795
It's just me! Don't
bother putting pants on!

85
00:04:14,825 --> 00:04:17,325
Whoa! Haley was makin' funnies.

86
00:04:17,355 --> 00:04:19,555
Put pants on. We have people here!

87
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,347
Here they are!

88
00:04:22,955 --> 00:04:23,955
Oh!

89
00:04:24,607 --> 00:04:26,611
Mom, Dad!

90
00:04:28,444 --> 00:04:30,138
Dad, Hi!

91
00:04:30,830 --> 00:04:34,051
Cheeks... these are my parents.
This is Gillian and Scott.

92
00:04:34,081 --> 00:04:35,530
It's such a ple...

93
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,244
well, we're finally meeting.

94
00:04:37,274 --> 00:04:39,057
Yes. We've heard so much...

95
00:04:39,087 --> 00:04:40,882
- and seen... so much.
- So much.

96
00:04:40,912 --> 00:04:43,280
The internet is just...

97
00:04:43,310 --> 00:04:45,114
absolutely...

98
00:04:45,543 --> 00:04:48,810
We have learned about the
"safe search" option.

99
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:50,890
Without it, hello, mister, huh?

100
00:04:51,314 --> 00:04:53,652
Well. Meeting you is...

101
00:04:53,974 --> 00:04:55,895
also what I'm doing.

102
00:04:57,314 --> 00:05:00,588
- I just wish it had been sooner.
- Well, it was just, one of those...

103
00:05:00,618 --> 00:05:03,034
You know how a marriage
can just be like...

104
00:05:03,260 --> 00:05:05,229
Wahbah! Here I am!

105
00:05:13,077 --> 00:05:14,879
Awkward silence.

106
00:05:15,093 --> 00:05:16,656
You guys are a family!

107
00:05:16,686 --> 00:05:18,553
I'm Haley, b-t-dubbs.

108
00:05:18,755 --> 00:05:22,070
Friend of the fam. Star of the
SyFy original, Sharktocopter.

109
00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:23,704
We don't own a TV.

110
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:25,300
Click!

111
00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:28,815
Well...

112
00:05:28,939 --> 00:05:31,179
we just want to say that we support you.

113
00:05:31,546 --> 00:05:32,796
Right or wrong.

114
00:05:33,211 --> 00:05:36,338
And I'm just glad that you're
paying for it this time around.

115
00:05:38,633 --> 00:05:41,376
You've... been around before?

116
00:05:41,631 --> 00:05:42,631
I...

117
00:05:43,263 --> 00:05:45,949
sorta had a fiancée once.

118
00:05:46,731 --> 00:05:48,759
Claudia. And... then...

119
00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:52,175
she... may even show up.

120
00:05:53,490 --> 00:05:54,490
Fiancée.

121
00:05:55,291 --> 00:05:56,291
Claudia.

122
00:05:57,597 --> 00:05:58,597
Show up.

123
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:02,549
Well, that is like, three...

124
00:06:03,048 --> 00:06:04,172
tiny, little...

125
00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:07,255
nuclear explosions of new information.

126
00:06:07,285 --> 00:06:10,235
- KABOOM! KABOOM! KABOOM!
- Thank you, Haley.

127
00:06:13,716 --> 00:06:15,869
- Splain.
- I was in the closet

128
00:06:16,232 --> 00:06:18,442
slash-denial. And Claudia
solved a problem.

129
00:06:18,472 --> 00:06:20,266
That must seem ironic to you now.

130
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:22,759
- Cheeks, I didn't mean to lie...
- So why did you?

131
00:06:23,263 --> 00:06:26,198
I think maybe I had a vision
of this conversation?

132
00:06:29,263 --> 00:06:32,050
You think you can out winning smile me?

133
00:06:32,220 --> 00:06:35,495
- I will not be distrac...
- Where is my little faggot?

134
00:06:35,792 --> 00:06:36,792
Mom!

135
00:06:39,713 --> 00:06:42,059
Don't you raise your
voice in my house, Bitch!

136
00:06:42,089 --> 00:06:43,758
Get down here, fucker!

137
00:06:43,788 --> 00:06:45,338
I love your guts off.

138
00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:52,087
If it isn't my favorite slut!

139
00:06:52,472 --> 00:06:55,679
- Slap it. Clasp it. Think about it.
- Slap it. Clasp it. Think about it.

140
00:06:56,693 --> 00:06:59,232
And you must be the normal-Mormons!

141
00:06:59,379 --> 00:07:01,279
C'mon, now. Don't be scared.

142
00:07:01,724 --> 00:07:05,277
Listen I'll be honest,
think you're b-a-n-a-n-a-s, but...

143
00:07:05,764 --> 00:07:07,294
pleased nonetheless.

144
00:07:07,690 --> 00:07:08,690
Pleased.

145
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:09,720
Awfully.

146
00:07:11,077 --> 00:07:13,332
Why don't I show you where
the cake and coffee is?

147
00:07:13,362 --> 00:07:14,990
We don't drink caffeine.

148
00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:17,607
I don't know what that means.
Come on, come on.

149
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,646
I know who this is!

150
00:07:24,099 --> 00:07:27,453
Let's take a look at this ocelot.

151
00:07:27,483 --> 00:07:30,919
I call you that because I'm
gonna look at your oss-a-lot.

152
00:07:32,325 --> 00:07:34,557
Mom, Brady. Brady, Mom.

153
00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:38,460
Actually though, we were kinda just in
the middle of a triple kaboom moment...

154
00:07:39,138 --> 00:07:40,407
Oh my Todd!

155
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,579
He is the living image! Of Todd!

156
00:07:43,609 --> 00:07:44,609
Todd?

157
00:07:44,987 --> 00:07:48,008
Once my poet mentor.
Then my lover. Now passed,

158
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,930
he is my spirit guide.

159
00:07:50,860 --> 00:07:52,674
Oh and he's Cheeks' dad, too.

160
00:07:54,419 --> 00:07:56,919
Yeah, but Brady doesn't
look anything like...

161
00:08:00,549 --> 00:08:01,549
Daddy?

162
00:08:05,822 --> 00:08:07,172
Did she say cake?

163
00:08:07,202 --> 00:08:11,499
Closed captions: Francesco Bavastro
[www.italiansubs.net]