2018 07 25 Q&A in English

[gong]

[gong]

[gong]

[gong]

Dear respected Thay,
dear sisters and brothers

welcome to the Q&A session
of the third week of summer retreat

I feel very honored to be here
with my big brother and sisters.

On the panel today
we have Thay Phap Dung,

he is born in Vietnam

but he studied in the United States
to become an architect.

He's one of our elder brothers
here in Plum Village

Sister Lang Nghiem is also born in Vietnam
but studied in the United States,

and sister Lan Nghiem
is coming from Holland

she spent much of her
adult life in France,

and I'm brother Phap Luu,

I come from the United States and
I live here for maybe, 15 years.

So we have a chance for you,
the children, the teens, the parents,

to come up here
and ask the question of your heart.

We know that when we look
deeply into ourselves

and we see that something's
burning inside, some questions,

something we need the community
and our brothers and sisters to look into,

then we can stand up and come up here
and ask that question of our heart.

It's not an intellectual question,
something we can look up on Wikipedia,

but something that is really
about our daily life

and the suffering and happiness
of our practice.

And a good question
doesn't have to be long.

So we'll start with the children

and then invite some questions
from the teens and the young people

and then from the adults.

And if you feel a little bit shy
to come up here,

then you can write down
your question on a piece of paper

and try to get it to the Bell master
and he will bring it to us.

So we might take
some written questions as well.

So we'll start with the children,

are there any questions from the children?

Yes? You want to come up here?

We'll take maybe three or maximum
four questions from the children.

Please come up.

If you speak English, or French,

you can ask your question in that
language, and we'll try to translate

and if you ask your question
in another language

if you can bring a translator with you,
that would be very helpful.

so we can listen to a sound of the Bell,

come back to our breathing
and then we'll have our first question

[gong]

Lieve broeders en zusters,
mijn vraag is: Wat betekent niets?

Wat is niks?

[translation by a person in the room]

So I'll just repeat the question
so that everyone can hear.

She asked the question:

Dear brothers and sisters,
what is nothing?

What does nothing mean?

I invite Thay Phap Dung,

I think Thay Phap Dung is very good
about talking about nothing.

I don't know what happened this summer

but more and more children
are becoming philosophical.

I see my brothers and sister
last two weeks up here,

meeting young philosophers

We use our language, like the word
'nothing', to describe many things, right?

When we practice, we learn to look deeply
and not get caught in the word 'nothing'.

Sometimes we use the word 'nothing'

to describe when something
is not seen anymore,

the food on your plate,

you finish eating,
you eat everything on your plate

and then you say
there's nothing on the plate, right?

So we use the word 'nothing'
to describe when we don't see something.

Sometimes we have a cup, right?

You say, there's tea in that cup

and there's nothing in the cup, right,

but is there something else in the cup?

Air, right!

So you can say there's nothing,
but then you can say there is something,

right?

So we have to be very careful
when we use a word,

nothing,

and don't let it stop you

from questioning the meaning
of the word, you understand?

I believe your question is very,
you want to understand

and please continue
to ask that question, okay?

Well your plate is empty
and you say there's nothing on the plate,

and where did it go?

That something, the food.

Right, so the food comes
into your stomach,

it goes, and it doesn't become nothing.

So nothing and something
have a relationship, right?

Like, there's nothing,
but there's also something.

So when you ask, there is nothing

you have to ask,
what is it, that is nothing of.

So it doesn't really disappear
but maybe we don't see it,

you understand?

So when you ask, what is nothing?

then you have to also be open
to say, what is something?

Do you understand?

A little bit yeah!

I'm just basically sharing with you...

Don't just take the definition of nothing,

because in the dictionary they probably
say, nothing is when the...

What does it mean anyway?

When something is
the opposite of something,

but sometimes you need to look
more carefully so you don't get tricked.

It's kind of like hide and seek, right?

When you say something disappears,
you have to go where did it go?

It doesn't become nothing
but maybe becomes something else,

like when you see the cloud up in the sky,

did you ever see a cloud disappear?

If you sit in the right place,
somewhere over a hill

you see the cloud go.

It appeared,

and then you wait for a while
and you look somewhere else,

and when you look up,
and then the cloud disappeared.

And you say, there's nothing there now,

but if you look closely,
the cloud is still there.

So please remember to not be caught
when there is no cloud, okay?

You can also look and see,
where did the cloud go?

Did it become the moisture?

Sometimes it becomes the rain

and sometimes, like right now,
do you think there's a cloud here?

There's nothing here,
but I think if I keep doing this enough

and you can see a very light cloud

I try

but you see that some time
in a chemistry class or something,

you do certain things

and it makes the temperature change
and the moisture happen

like when you take a shower,

sometimes you see the mist come up

please know that sometimes,
just because you don't see it there,

doesn't mean there's nothing there, okay?

thank you for your question

and please continue
to ask your other friends

maybe they have a very interesting answer

thank you

thank you

[gong]

[gong]

why can't you cook fish in Plum Village?

So the question is,
why can't we cook fish in Plum Village?

Why can't we cook fish in Plum Village?

I think it's because we enjoy the fish
alive and swimming in the pond

more, than we do seeing the fish in a pan

and it's not that we cannot

it's that we don't want to

we choose not to cook the fish

and here we choose to eat
what we call vegetarian

Do you know what vegetarian means?

It's just we don't eat meat,
we don't eat fish,

we try to eat in such a way

that we minimize the suffering that we
cause to animals, plants and minerals

and even to people

and that's why
when we are here in Plum Village

we choose not to cook the fish

because we also want to prevent the fish
from suffering a little bit

can you imagine if someone
put you in a pan and cooked you?

Yeah not very nice right?

So that's why we choose
not to cook the fish.

yeah, thank you

[gong]

pourquoi les moines et les nonnes
ne peuvent pas avoir d'amoureux?

Yes, so the question is,

why can't monks and nuns
be in love with somebody

or be in love with each other
or another person?

Have a lover, okay.

Thank you brother Dickian

So why can't monks and nuns have lovers?

I think this is for Sister Lan Nghiem.

Dear Thay, dear sangha,
dear children,

I'm always very happy to listen
to the questions of children

but now to answer,
that is something different

and I do like the question and

because I think it's not completely true
that we cannot have a lover

I remember a long time ago,
I shared something about in a presentation

that I shared that I had a secret lover

and it was not really a man
but it was a sister

and it was a sister.

One day I was a little bit upset
things were not going well

and I was upset and you know,
I didn't want to talk to anybody

and then I came in the study room

and then I found
a beautiful flower on my desk

beautiful

kaarsjeskruid in het Nederlands

and I was so happy to see this flower

and it changed immediately my whole mood

because somebody had thought about me

and knew that I was in a difficult mood

and that it was not going well and so on

and she put there a flower on my desk

so in this presentation I spoke about,
I do have a secret lover

and that was this sister

and a secret lover that is somebody,

somebody who understands you
and keeps an eye on you

and if you see that you are not doing well

then she is going
to support you a little bit

for example by putting
a flower on your desk

so this is about the sister

and the second part of the question

why can monistics not have a lover?

I think it is because we have chosen
to spend our time in a different way

it's all about that

we like to be a monastic
we really like to practice

we like to share the practice
with everybody

and maybe as you have seen,
it's a lot of work here it's quite busy

we have many big retreats during the year

now like the summer retreat,
many people, a lot of work

so we have chosen
to spend our time in a different way

and to share the practice with you

and imagine if I had
this other kind of lover, a romantic lover

then I would not have so much time

then I would have to share my time
with this man and with the Sangha

so it's not so much time
that I could be here

and taking care
of all the friends and so on

so it's about this, it's a choice in life
that we have to make

and I have quite some peace with it

thank you

[gong]

Warum ist mein Leben eigentlich
immer schwerer als das von den Anderen?

So please correct me if I'm wrong,
the question is,

why is my life always more difficult
than the lives of others?

so first, thank you for your question,

and thank you on behalf of everybody here

because when you ask a question like that
then we all bring it into our heart

and I think we all have gone
through times in our lives

where we feel
our life is so much more difficult

than the lives of other people

is there anyone who has never felt that?

ok, there's one person
who's never felt that

and for myself sometimes I feel
I'm not good enough

I feel I'm not smart enough

I feel like I'm only average
or maybe a little bit below average

can you imagine,
as a monk you feel like that?

but it's true yeah

and then I think in my heart,
it's not fair

because look at the kid

look at him, look at her,
they are so talented

they're so intelligent,
they speak so beautifully, they speak so..

they're so kind and compassionate,
I'm very selfish

sometimes I have that kind of thinking
even as a monk

do you believe me?

yeah it's true

and so, then I wish, you know, why?
I wish to know why is it like that?

why is my life so difficult?

when I was young in middle school

I was about eleven, twelve years old

and there was a boy and he was a

when I would walk down the hallway

one day he punched me in the shoulder.

I didn't see him, he's punching,
ow, it's very painful.

and then a couple days later,
he did it again

and then I started
to have fear to see that boy

if I was walking in the hallway
and I saw that fear

I started to arrange my life
so I could avoid that boy

and so I suffered very much
and I said why is my life so difficult?

why can't I be...

at that time many of the boys they grew

I was very young for my grade

so many of the boys they grew up
very tall and I was still very small

and so I suffered for many weeks like that

in fear that I would see that boy and
he would punch me in the shoulder again

and all I wanted was
to be big and strong like the other boys

and be really cool and
talk with all the really cool girls

yeah?

Have you ever felt something like that?
No,

okay yeah you

maybe you want

well anyway, I felt like that

and then, because I continued like that
for a little while

then eventually
we sat with somebody in the school

and we tried to have a communication

and you know what I found out?

he didn't like my haircut

can you believe that?

he didn't like my haircut
and he thought I was trying to be cool

maybe I was trying to be cool

and sometimes the boys are like that

they want to put each other
in their place, you know?

like, you are not cool,
you have to stay in your place

I am cool

anyway something like that

and now when I look back at that,
it looks very silly

but at the time when I was that age
it was very real for me everyday

and I felt my life is so difficult

and I said where did my happiness go

I was a very happy boy and then
suddenly my happiness disappeared

because of

not because of that boy,
but because of my fear

I let my fear take over

what he did was very little

but what happened inside of me
was very big, the emotion

and that is true most of our life

we have a strong emotion and we think
it's because of something out there

but actually it's something in here

maybe there's something inside
we're not taking care of

so that's why here in Plum Village,
we learn..

I love to work with the children

to teach them how to breathe mindfully

you know, breathing in, breathing out

Do you know? We sing that song

and even when the kids are very noisy,
when we start singing that song

after a few bars, they calm down
and they all start singing it

and I feel so at peace at my heart

because when I was that age
I didn't have that practice

I didn't have anyone who taught me
how to come back to my breathing

and be solid like a mountain

I didn't feel I could be solid
like a mountain

I just compared myself to other people

and I saw Who am I?,
based on what I saw about the other kids.

and so that's what here in Plum Village
we learned you know

we are solid like a mountain

the mountain doesn't compare itself
to the other mountains

you understand?

the mountain is solid,

it doesn't say, why is that mountain
more beautiful over there?

you know, there's a mountain,
Mont Blanc, in the Alps

do you know that mountain, Mont Blanc?

it's a very beautiful mountain

and lots of people take pictures
of that mountain.

But you know,
there's a mountain right next to it,

but not many people
take a picture of that mountain

and so that mountain can say,
why is my life so difficult?

do you think the mountain says that?
Yes?

no, of course,
it's the mountain next to Mount Blanc

it doesn't say, why is everyone
taking a picture of my brother?

well I never heard it say that

so when we are able
to touch the solidity in ourselves

and be like the mountain,
then we don't compare,

we don't compare we're happy,
we're totally happy just who we are

being who we are

even if we have suffering, we have sadness

but we see that that is a part of our life

and we don't need to look anymore
at the others around

we can just breathe and we can still smile

You can still smile, see?

and just be solid like that mountain

and then sometimes,
someone will turn the camera a little bit

and will say, wow!

everyone takes a picture of Mount Blanc,
but that mountain is so beautiful

and they will take a picture
of the other mountain.

When you touch the beauty inside yourself

then people start to pay attention

they start to look and they see wow

you are so special

you're so beautiful

you're so such a kind person

yeah it's magical, but it works

so please try that, try breathing,

try just looking at the emotion

when it comes up,
when you feel your life is so difficult,

just breathe,

just remember the Bell and your breath

and just pay attention
to that emotion inside of you

and you can smile to it

just like you smile to me

okay? can you try that?

okay, good luck

[gong]

[gong]

je voulais vous poser comme question,

avez-vous des methodes pour gerer
mes mauvaises humeurs et mes angoisses?

So the question is,

could you help me with a method
to take care of bad moods and anxiety

what is the method
to help deal with bad moods and anxiety

maybe... I'm not sure if they
ever have bad moods and anxiety

of course they do

I think I'm in a bad mood right now

and it's possible
to smile to your bad mood

it's possible to learn how to relate
differently to anxiety or sadness

or when you're feeling down

or when things don't go your way

and I think all of us,
we have certain habit energies

the way we react

to for instance when we have a bad mood

I'm asked to slow down

and that makes me even more in a bad mood

and so for myself I find

I have to learn how to identify
what triggers my bad mood

very often it's because something happens
that makes me uncomfortable

like I cannot be myself

like right now, I cannot speak
at the speed I would like to speak

so I feel a bit uncomfortable

but at the same time

I've trained myself for many years

it doesn't mean that I'm good at it
already, but it's a training

to sit with this bad mood

when it comes up I breathe through it

and during those few seconds of breathing

or just stopping and not being
carried away by the bad mood

then you can see it from a different side

for instance,
I'm uncomfortable speaking slow

but it would help our translators

so then I can speak slow just to help out

and then, that kind of lifts my bad mood

it doesn't have to always be about me,
for instance.

I find, all of us we have a tendency

when there's a bit of suffering
that comes up

we want to get rid of it right away

whether it's the bad mood
or the sadness or anxiety

we want to get rid of it right away

and this causes us
a bit more suffering I think

but when we learn
how to sit with it for a little bit

just allow it to be for a little bit

we can understand why it's there

for instance your bad mood
may be something very simple

maybe you didn't get
enough sleep last night

or you've been asked to do too many things
that are out of your capacity

like you over stretch yourself

and then your body is weary,
your mind is weary,

and then your bad mood
comes up very easily.

So, just to sit with the bad mood
and to look a little bit into it

and to see where it's come from

and sometimes like I say
it's something very simple

so we all have to kind of
train ourselves in this

and not just to want to get rid
of the bad mood right away

but to identify the reasons why
the bad mood came about in the first place

and then it's easier to learn to be

and to shift your mood

yeah, thank you

[gong]

[gong]

Est-ce que vous êtes devenus moines
ou moniales pour combler une vide,

ou pour aider les autres?

So did you become a monk or a nun
in order to fill a void in yourself?

Did you become a monk or a nun
in order to fill a void in yourself

or to help others?

I had a similar question
but I phrased it differently

when I first met the monks and nuns.

I went to a retreat
and I saw them smile a lot

and I was raised in America
so I'm very suspicious of everything

not all Americans,

but particularly I was very afraid
of things that seemed too happy

you know, like Plum Village is...

if I was a stranger and I came here
I would go...

there's something very strange
happening here

so I came to Plum Village,

I followed the monks and nuns
for three months around America

to find out what happened
behind the retreat

and I began to understand more

that the monks and nuns are humans

they do have suffering,
they do have happiness

and they also have an aspiration
to have meaning in their life.

so it's not like
we are running away from society

or we are trying
to get something for ourselves

but it's very linked because,
if you can take care of yourself...

I had anger issues

so if I learn how to take care of my anger
and be less angry

of my father

then I see that's very linked
to my happiness

so sometimes you remove the anger

and what you're left with
is a lot of space, to enjoy, right?

most of my young adult life,
I was very easily...

it didn't look like it,
but inside I was very frustrated

and very easily anxious,
we call it frustrated

they call it urban angst, they call it now

it's very easily...

but outside I looked very happy.

I do my job 9:00 to 5:00,
but inside there was a void

and it's related to the anger
of not having any meaning

so the monks and when I follow them
I see that some of them do have suffering

some of them know
how to take care of this,

some of them know how to enjoy life

to help to be grateful with their life,
with their parents

so I begin to understand more
on how to handle suffering

and how to also live a life
more meaningful,

rather than work, spend,
work, spend, work, spend

so this for me...

and then I came to Plum Village

and I started to discover
more about their lives

and then I became a monk
to kind of go undercover

to see what they really do
inside the residence

so I'm still here researching whether...

they haven't kicked me out of here yet

yeah

but I always tried to keep that in mind

and I see more and more of my life,
I became to be more true

so it's not about empty or
you're fulfilling your life

but, what is the meaning of your life?
what is your life for?

and I see more and more
I'm finding out that when you share

when you can make another person happy

when you help another person suffer less

somehow their happiness,

their transformation
is also your happiness

so I don't have to go around
to try to fulfill my life

and to achieve and then have success
and I have a lot of money and have a car

but now my life is,
I fill it up with other people's happiness

and also their suffering

when I see a person
can handle their suffering

I saw a young woman
come out to the meditation hall

and she cry, at Lower Hamlet,
when after the Dharma talk

and she ran and her friend tried
to grab her and she put her hand away

and she told her friend,
I think, from far away

she say something

and so her friend bowed to her
and then she went

and the young woman that was crying
went to the bush in there

and I saw her sit

and she put her bag down
and she sit there for a while

and I was eating my orange

and she sat there for a while

and then she stood up
picked her bag turned around

and you can tell her face more peaceful

and for me that is my happiness

you see, so, I also have suffering
and I learned how to take care of it

so I can recognize when someone does that

so the emptiness we sometimes feel
is because we don't have meaning

we don't know why we go to work

we don't know why we do what we do

sometimes we don't even know
why we're going on vacation

you just have to do it

this is my life before

it's time for vacation

what should I do now?
spend more money right

and so this is what, as a young man,
I became more empty

because my life
didn't have a higher meaning

and this is why I kind of
chose to become a monk

not to run away from society
but to live more meaningfully

and sometimes people come here and
they say we here are not really the world

the world is out there

now I have to go back to the world right,
tomorrow or the next day

and this is not the real world

and that we have to question that

I mean if you accept that

that's why we have anxiety
we have depression, we have a lot of...

so we need to create a way of living
that can help us have fulfillment

and not to constantly be, have a void,
an emptiness, no meaning

vide, what do you mean with vide,
emptiness, is a life without meaning

so it's more or less philosophical

it's like,
what is the meaning of your life?

what is my purpose
every morning that I wake up

you have to answer that question every day

and you will see that
it will link to your happiness

and you'll see that it is not about you
and your career and your thing

but it's actually becoming more connected
to other people

strangers, people in need,
people in other countries

who do not have what we have here

this is what the children
are needing to learn

that's why there's young people
asking questions like that

because they have not seen suffering

so sometimes as a young person
I encourage you to travel to India,

to Laos, to Vietnam,
to see where we live in

so that's what happened to me in America

I became very closed

so when I traveled, I began to see
really the suffering in the world

and then that will open
a new way of looking

so, our view,
we need to always open more

so I hope

I guess that's my experience of handling
my emptiness, by more bringing meaning

so please, you're still young
so really ask your question

what is it that brings meaning to my life?

and it doesn't have to be saving the world

it could be meaning, between your father
and you, your mother and you

so to reconcile with your father

all of a sudden
your life is more fulfilling

so when I succeed in something
it's for my father

you see when I play with the young boy,
that is my father

so you connect with your father

so it doesn't have to be a grand meaning

it could be very simple

please take care

[gong]

[gong]

Dear respected Thay,
dear respected teachers, community

I'm trying to make my question
as clear as possible

but I feel I need
to explain a bit the situation

my question is about the relationship
to my sister, and it's very difficult,

she has been suffering from deep
depression for many, many years now

and a long time I put a lot of effort
into being active and helping her

which only took me energy

and there was nothing that could help her

and I realized that
she needs to help herself

and I could only be there, at her side

but she doesn't let me be there.

she doesn't talk to me there
and at the moment there is no contact

and I feel I'm not happy
with that situation

because I would like to be there for her

and I told her, but she doesn't talk to me

and last winter retreat
I sent her a letter

I tried to practice beginning anew

and I shared with her the relationship
feels for me and that I wish to change it

but I have no ideas anymore

and I asked her if she has any suggestions
how we could have a relationship

how we could talk to each other

and she didn't react

and I sent her a message and I said
I felt sad that she didn't react

and then she said I'm sorry,
but I cannot do that

and yeah, since then
we didn't talk to each other

I guess we both didn't know how to do it

and, so my question is,

if you could recommend any practice for me
that I could do

I would like to practice something like
loving speech, deep listening, but how,

if there is no contact

and what happened, what I did was,
trying to be happy myself with my life

but now I feel like,
how can I be truly happy

if it's only possible
that I exclude that from my life

it doesn't feel honest,
doesn't feel right to me

yeah so I guess there are
two parts about the question

is there something I can do
I can practice with my sister

or how could I feel less
selfish and guilty,

feeling letting her behind, alone?

Dear... I do not know, what is your name?
Antonia? Sonya

Dear Sonya,

if I listen to you and it sounds like
you have tried many, many things already

you have a very long breath
and you have not given up

it's not so easy to come
with a ready answer,

but I think there are
two aspects in this question.

I think you can look into how, in the
meantime, you can take care of yourself

that you do not also become like,
maybe in a depression and so on,

I would say that it's possible
that we overcome all difficulties

that there's always an end to that

but of course sometimes
it takes much more energy

and much more time than in other cases

sometimes in difficulty, like a problem
that you have with your sister

that looks very difficult
and that you have tried everything

and you cannot come to a solution

I think we can finally overcome
all difficulties

and that is also exactly
the way that we grow

if you manage to overcome this difficulty
and then we can grow

I would like to give an example for myself

a very long time ago,
I had also a big difficulty I remember

like really big I found that, at the time

I just came to France and
I was doing a course in France, in French

and it was at a university
and we were asked to give a presentation

and it was like divided in Dutch people
and German and French and so on

and we were only with the two of us,
the only two Dutch women

so it was a kind of 'be-in' or bonte avond

and we had decided to give a presentation
on how to make Dutch pancakes

and a woman with whom I was
she said very quickly

okay I will bake the pancakes here behind
and you are going to stand in front

and I had to explain in French how we were
doing that in Holland, to bake pancakes

well it was for me the very first time

it was just after, after college
that I came here in France

so I had never given a presentation
like that and not at all in French

I will speak a little bit slower

but I remember
that I was standing over there

and while explaining,
that my legs came to tremble

and not a little bit ,
but they started to tremble enormously

and I was standing there in front
and I did not know how to stop this

was really like very badly

I did not manage on that evening

and I had a very unpleasant
feeling about it

and it has also afforded me
to come out again later

because I was afraid
that the same thing would happen again

and that I could not survive.

later on I have survived and
now I'm sitting here on this chair

and I'm still, I'm still alive

so it is possible
to overcome very difficult things

I think for yourself, and in this meantime

you have to take good care of yourself

and that you will need a lot of joy
like a counterbalance to that

the depression of your sister

so maybe you can do something
to have more joy

and it can be like going out or

go into the nature, maybe you have to move
or do another study

or just you know something like a move,
like a change in your life

that can bring you more happiness

and what is happening then

if you have much more happiness, then
something's happening here in your head

now it sounds like it's quite full with
this whole difficulty with your sister

and you're going to make
a little bit of space for this

I think it will go away a little bit

you will send your energy
not anymore to the difficulty in your head

but more to the things that you plan to do

so please try to focus on that

bring some air,
some freshness into your life

more joy

and I think you will be more capable
of trying to overcome this difficulty

so this is the aspect for yourself

please nourish your joy
and happiness every day

take good care of it.

The second part is
the relationship with your sister.

It looks like you have done
many things already

you have come to her,
you have spoken with her

and she did not want to speak with you
anymore, you have written a letter

that is our practice, we try to write
a letter, we call it a love letter

if it is difficult
to communicate with somebody

we can put in a letter
how we love the other person

maybe some qualities of her,
you can also put souvenirs in this letter,

souvenirs from the past

maybe you have done many things together

I do not know about her age,

if there's a big difference in age
between you and your sister

maybe you have done many things
together in the past

and you had a lot of joy and fun
and adventures

so you can recall that in the letter

nice things that you've done together
and that you have very good memories about

that can help her,
that can help her to overcome this...

it sounds like she's very
sad and depressed,

to overcome, to lift up her mood

you said you have tried it already
but maybe you have to try a second time

if I was you, as long as there is
no communication, no oral communication,

to keep writing her
and maybe to try with a different letter

[gong]

So dear Sonia, I just continue

and so I would like to encourage you
to keep going on with writing

maybe an other letter

in the style that I just have painted

with her qualities,
with sweet memories and so on

maybe for yourself in the beginning
it's difficult to write this

because you have done already
and no result up until now

but you will see, if you really take time
to write a letter like this,

like a whole afternoon, you lock yourself
in a room with chocolates,

and you do not come out of the room
before you have finished this letter

and then you go, you will notice
by writing down all those good memories

that you have of her, you know,
that something will change in you

something will change in you and
you'll feel a lot of compassion for her

and this compassion, she will taste
from the letter she's going to receive

so please do not give up

I really would like to you
to continue with her, keeping contact

and maybe in this way,
and maybe later she's going to respond

I think you have to water this,
water this and keeping contact every day

and in the meantime,

take good care for yourself

and that you do not lose hope
or that you become desperate

thank you

I'm just gonna share that, you know,

when we, the monks and nuns, are
up here for a question-and-answer session

we are all human beings
and we all have our own experience

so we shouldn't mistake
when we give an answer

that it is like the absolute truth

we are sharing from our heart,
from our own experience as human beings

just as we all have the opportunity to do
while we're here this week

so we don't need to think
that one answer is is absolutely

the only one

and there's all beautiful experiences

personal experiences that we have here
and that's all we're here to offer

so thank you for your question

So there's a few written questions,

I kind of grouped them on similar topic

so the first one is "dear sister, brother,

may you please share with us about
the practice of mindfulness at work"

and "please could you talk
about the organization of time"

"in my life I always live
in a quick speed mode.

although I practice meditation everyday
and I breathe consciously

I'm still living in a hurry because I have
too much work in this time of my life

thanks a lot, a lotus for you"

Dear Thay, dear Sangha,

I grew up in America,

educated and worked as a architect
for four years before meeting Thay

and so you know the whole system
of having a job and work

is the whole education system too,

and please know this is a very biased
answer so please take it lightly

I chose to leave all that,
so it's very biased okay

so, we dream to always run after time
as if we don't have enough

yesterday was lazy day

lazy days that is one of Thay's...

was it technics up, was it a shot you take
so you don't get sick?

it's a kind of a lazy day, it's a real...

one time the monks came to Thay

because we heard
a lot of people don't like the word lazy

and we asked Thay, Thay can you change,

can we change the word lazy to, maybe,
rest day or something more...

because people feel lazy you know,

and Thay said:
"Don't ever change the world lazy"

I've never heard Thay so strong

he said because people feel guilty
to be lazy and he said that's good

they should need to look at their guilt

because the society is over developed
over, over productive, right?

so we think we're advanced,

our culture is developed right

but I think now it's another way
of looking we're over developed

and we're not looking down at those
other southern countries and nations

saying they're underdeveloped

in fact they're fine

we're going there to develop them

and we're making them lose
a lot of their environment

so in a way we have to relook

we are overworked, we're over developed,
we are over timed over schedule

every time I visit my family nowadays

I hardly can squeeze off some time
from my niece and nephew

because they go to soccer and the
Saturday piano and ballet on Sunday

I mean even the weekend,
the mother has to run to take them to

and I have to go with them because
I want to be with my niece and nephew

and I watch them play soccer

it's good you know
to have activity for the kids

but it's a little bit over, over worked,
over,

I think you know what I mean

that's probably why you're here right?

so I don't have to try
to convince an orange that it's an orange

so... for working
we also need to look at the way

we do need to work, we're not all lazy
it's only one day of the seven day

and so when we work,
we have to reorient ourselves

like washing the dishes

you know

one day somebody will propose, why doesn't
Plum Village buy a big washing machine,

and it could get done quickly, right?

no buckets and cleaning
and then give it to the kid

to take it, to put it in the thing
and it's a lot of work, right?

you need 20 people to wash a few dishes

but there's enjoyment
while we wash the dishes

it's kind of like a waste of time,
God, get it over with

so why do we make you wash dishes?

we could buy a machine, right?

same thing,

convenience can sometimes actually
diminish your enjoyment, your happiness

so this is work,

this is just like the meditation hall,
we had a discussion yesterday

about working in the meditation hall
and not rushing

because maybe there's not enough time
and we have to catch the bus,

so sometimes you know reality
you have to do it and you have to rush

but your attitude is...
it depends on your mental attitude

you do it and some people do have habits
and there are different levels of rushing

there's some people who rush
it looks like they're rushing

but they're not rushing

some people, it looks like
they're really doing it slow

but they are rushing

this is a my experience

there's a lot of, ...
how come you're not doing it right?

how come they're not doing it mindfully?

you look like you're doing mindfully
but that's not really mindful

so you have to be careful

some people can do a lot of work
and look like they're rushing

but their mental attitude is enjoyment

they're doing it for others so it depends

you're washing the dishes
you're doing it for the community

you're doing a carrot

you're doing it for the community,
for other people to eat

but you know you don't have to do it like

peel the carrot like this, you know

that means you're stuck with an idea

so work doesn't mean...
so we have to be very careful

mindfulness at work, we have to be careful

so of course you know
take a break on the computer

and so many things

you have to use your mindfulness,
your intelligence

to find a balance in yourself,
to not lose yourself in the work

so how you sit
on the front of the computer

how you brew brush
so look at the way you work

so that's just the mechanics of work okay

and there's also the meaning of work

so also we have to look
at why you're working

what are you working for

you want more money, you want more

you have an idea, you want a bigger house,
you want a retirement plan,

these ideas you have to look at

that's maybe pushing you
to sacrifice the present moment

for the future, you see?

so we need to look at this

this is what I had to wake up from

9:00 to 5:00 retirement plan

two garage house a nice family
and you know these kind of

what do they call it, American,
America dream

is this still called the American dream?

so these are things, with the practice,

with the deep looking,
we begin to look at work

so I'm sharing is also
the meaning while you work

and it is also looking
at our relationship with the watch

with your planner, your schedule

these are things that you learn

and we become very mechanical

and we don't know why we do it

we just wake up, do it, do it, do it

and so we need to look at this

so find time,
so I encourage all the families, everyone

to, you know, reduce a little bit

you don't need to have everything,
just enough

and if you do succeed,
use that to help other people

and that will bring
more meaning to your work

you see that the cycle
it needs to go in circle like this

you know the system now
is very capitalistic

to save, save, save, hold everything

and you see,
there's only a certain amount

and after that,
the happiness don't increase

I think more and more we know that, right?

after 10 shirts that you have, it's become
very hm, another shirt, another shirt

so please know why you're working

and how much you should work
to maintain kind of enough for your family

so that you don't sacrifice
your present moment, happiness

with your family, with your loved one,
with helping other people

so your time is not just to...,
you should spend meaningfully

to help other people,
to help your friends,

your relatives, your brothers
and sisters, other families

so you might have work
that might not be the most meaningful

but it pays your thing
and then you take the money

you take some of the time
and you help, you see

so don't try to always, you have to find
the work that is the most meaningful

in fact the meaning is
what you put into it

so you could be a bus driver

and you could be a very good bus driver

if you remove the idea that you have
to be a successful businessperson

you see the work

you enjoy washing your dishes,
driving the bus

so it's all based
on the quality of your attitude

and you can always learn more

thank you

[gong]

[gong]

(in Japanese)

dear Thay, dear brothers
and sisters, dear friends

he asked the question

is there any condition
to make people satisfied

and then become happy

is there any conditions
that can make people satisfied

and they feel happy

Dear Thay, dear... what's your name?
Ray? dear Ray,

arigato for your question

so this question is very important

and we know the Buddha
sat with this question as well

he asked himself is there any
condition for my fulfillment

for my complete happiness

and at that time
he had a wife and he had a child

and he had a pretty good career

maybe he was gonna be
the chief of his village, like his father

so he seemed to have many good conditions

that most people spend their whole life
trying to obtain

thinking that that will
bring them happiness

and yet he wasn't happy

and that's why we're all here today

because he saw that those conditions
were not sufficient for his happiness,

for his true happiness

and so he decided
to leave behind his family

to cut his hair

and to live in the forest

he tried looking
for roots in the ground to eat

he went to live
in different spiritual communities

and he always sat with that question

how can I find true happiness?

or another way to phrase is,
why is there suffering?

what is the nature of this suffering?

and our teacher Thay,

he often talked about the happiness
and suffering like the sides of a coin

you cannot have happiness
without suffering

you cannot even imagine suffering
without happiness

they inter are

it means that, looking into our situation
of suffering, we can find happiness

so you could say that suffering
is a kind of condition

that can lead us to happiness

actually as monks and nuns I know myself
and many of my brothers and sisters

we also ask this question

because actually we can get quite
comfortable as a monk or nun

you see, here in Plum Village we eat
delicious vegetarian food

and we live with many people
who are very understanding

very compassionate very kind

smiling a lot

and we don't have to do too much work

at least we don't get fired
if we don't do too much work

so, actually many people come here
because they think

wow, these are good conditions
for me to be happy

and then

and then they find out
they have to live together

with other people
for the rest of their life

and they start saying why?
look at Thay, Thay teaches this

but look, look... they look and they say..

and so, somehow, even if they have
all these good conditions

of good food, place to sleep,
go to the doctor if they're sick

but they still are not happy

they're not able to live together
with their brothers and sisters

and that is a pity

and so we have to sometimes look and see

is my happiness dependent
on outside conditions?

even here in Plum Village

we have to ask ourselves because we have..

you know monks and nuns, they haven't
always enjoyed such good conditions

as we have in Plum Village to practice

sometimes they lived
in a very authoritarian regime

where they wanted to destroy
the Buddhist temples

they wanted to make the monks and nuns
marry each other

to give up the celibate life

that happened many times
in history of Buddhism

and that continues to happen
today, in some places

and so even in those conditions,

those monks and nuns were able
to touch deep happiness

even like, I remember always a story of
one of Thay's students who was put in jail

She only had a little bit of space, and
she practiced walking meditation every day

just breathing, and being with her step

and she was able to generate happiness

even just in that tiny space
with only a little food to eat

she kept her mind clear
and she enjoyed every step

and so anytime that I feel
that I'm a little bit upset

because my conditions of happiness
are not sufficient

then I remember that nun,
practicing in the jail

and I feel a little bit of shame

how could I be so greedy

and that helps me to remove
the external conditions of happiness

and to see that actually I can generate
a kind of unconditioned happiness

something that's not dependent
on external or even internal conditions

and sometimes we touch that

that is a beautiful moment

when you touch that
you need to remember it

maybe you stop and you take 12 breaths

my happiness has not come from anywhere

and my happiness is not going anywhere

there are moments like that in life

and in my experience,
when we practice they become more and more

and bigger and longer

and that's why I love the practice so much

because touching this kind
of unconditioned happiness

but it takes practice

because we are conditioned
to like conditioning

we are conditioned to like our habits

even people condition themselves
to like their own suffering

can you imagine that?

they fall in love with their own
situation of suffering

and when you want to help them to come
out of it, they prefer to stay there

and that is a funny quality
of human beings

so keep that question,
it's a beautiful question

like the Buddha

you can be a Buddha and ask,
what is this unconditioned happiness?

keep asking yourself that question

you look at your suffering

you see it transform and you hold it there

it's very beautiful

that's the secret of the universe, okay?

good luck

dear friends it's quarter after 11

and we have a beautiful walk
for the community today

to go down to Son Ha
and enjoy the garden there

and maybe some music

so we know there are other
questions to be asked

and we encourage you to bring the
question up in your Dharma sharing group

if you feel courageous enough

there are also wonderful other monks
and nuns who can share their experience

and help with the question

there are also a number of written
questions we didn't get to

I will give them to the brother or sister
giving the Dharma talk tomorrow

so they can keep it in mind

and hopefully be able to
answer the question in the talk tomorrow

so I'd like to thank my elder brothers
and sisters for coming up here today

and sharing their experience

and thank you all, for we do this together

this is a process of deep looking
and we continue

as we finish the last two days
of this third week together

we will finish by listening
to three sounds of the Bell