1
00:00:06,479 --> 00:00:09,069
[gong]

2
00:00:11,298 --> 00:00:16,628
[gong]

3
00:00:42,233 --> 00:00:47,763
[gong]

4
00:01:01,073 --> 00:01:02,073
[gong]

5
00:01:39,523 --> 00:01:44,353
Dear respected Thay, 
dear sisters and brothers

6
00:01:46,434 --> 00:01:50,412
welcome to the Q&A session 
of the third week of summer retreat

7
00:01:53,157 --> 00:01:57,453
I feel very honored to be here 
with my big brother and sisters.

8
00:02:00,384 --> 00:02:04,147
On the panel today 
we have Thay Phap Dung,

9
00:02:06,511 --> 00:02:09,164
he is born in Vietnam

10
00:02:09,574 --> 00:02:13,536
but he studied in the United States 
to become an architect.

11
00:02:14,914 --> 00:02:18,011
He's one of our elder brothers
here in Plum Village

12
00:02:19,959 --> 00:02:29,204
Sister Lang Nghiem is also born in Vietnam
but studied in the United States,

13
00:02:31,432 --> 00:02:35,585
and sister Lan Nghiem 
is coming from Holland

14
00:02:36,513 --> 00:02:38,854
she spent much of her 
adult life in France,

15
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,738
and I'm brother Phap Luu,

16
00:02:41,949 --> 00:02:47,739
I come from the United States and 
I live here for maybe, 15 years.

17
00:02:51,311 --> 00:02:56,719
So we have a chance for you, 
the children, the teens, the parents,

18
00:02:56,719 --> 00:02:59,205
to come up here 
and ask the question of your heart.

19
00:03:01,594 --> 00:03:04,433
We know that when we look 
deeply into ourselves

20
00:03:04,433 --> 00:03:10,786
and we see that something's 
burning inside, some questions,

21
00:03:11,670 --> 00:03:15,216
something we need the community 
and our brothers and sisters to look into,

22
00:03:16,271 --> 00:03:23,309
then we can stand up and come up here 
and ask that question of our heart.

23
00:03:27,694 --> 00:03:31,930
It's not an intellectual question, 
something we can look up on Wikipedia,

24
00:03:33,383 --> 00:03:36,486
but something that is really 
about our daily life

25
00:03:37,292 --> 00:03:41,206
and the suffering and happiness 
of our practice.

26
00:03:44,368 --> 00:03:46,966
And a good question 
doesn't have to be long.

27
00:03:53,303 --> 00:03:55,309
So we'll start with the children

28
00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:58,997
and then invite some questions 
from the teens and the young people

29
00:04:00,734 --> 00:04:03,231
and then from the adults.

30
00:04:03,651 --> 00:04:06,696
And if you feel a little bit shy 
to come up here,

31
00:04:06,696 --> 00:04:09,698
then you can write down 
your question on a piece of paper

32
00:04:09,942 --> 00:04:14,347
and try to get it to the Bell master 
and he will bring it to us.

33
00:04:14,347 --> 00:04:18,347
So we might take
some written questions as well.

34
00:04:21,182 --> 00:04:22,773
So we'll start with the children,

35
00:04:22,773 --> 00:04:24,989
are there any questions from the children?

36
00:04:26,150 --> 00:04:28,040
Yes? You want to come up here?

37
00:04:28,939 --> 00:04:32,637
We'll take maybe three or maximum 
four questions from the children.

38
00:04:34,146 --> 00:04:35,175
Please come up.

39
00:04:36,260 --> 00:04:41,280
If you speak English, or French,

40
00:04:42,231 --> 00:04:45,618
you can ask your question in that 
language, and we'll try to translate

41
00:04:45,627 --> 00:04:48,026
and if you ask your question
in another language

42
00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:51,238
if you can bring a translator with you, 
that would be very helpful.

43
00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:55,339
so we can listen to a sound of the Bell,

44
00:04:55,339 --> 00:04:58,578
come back to our breathing 
and then we'll have our first question

45
00:05:11,824 --> 00:05:15,916
[gong]

46
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:59,626
<i>Lieve broeders en zusters, 
mijn vraag is: Wat betekent niets?</i>

47
00:06:00,338 --> 00:06:01,720
<i>Wat is niks?</i>

48
00:06:04,935 --> 00:06:09,403
[translation by a person in the room]

49
00:06:16,466 --> 00:06:19,363
So I'll just repeat the question 
so that everyone can hear.

50
00:06:20,974 --> 00:06:23,226
She asked the question:

51
00:06:23,611 --> 00:06:26,184
Dear brothers and sisters, 
what is nothing?

52
00:06:27,341 --> 00:06:29,627
What does nothing mean?

53
00:06:46,867 --> 00:06:48,265
I invite Thay Phap Dung,

54
00:06:52,285 --> 00:06:55,662
I think Thay Phap Dung is very good 
about talking about nothing.

55
00:07:02,260 --> 00:07:05,271
I don't know what happened this summer

56
00:07:05,431 --> 00:07:09,341
but more and more children 
are becoming philosophical.

57
00:07:12,114 --> 00:07:15,096
I see my brothers and sister 
last two weeks up here,

58
00:07:17,430 --> 00:07:19,715
meeting young philosophers

59
00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:31,422
We use our language, like the word 
'nothing', to describe many things, right?

60
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:40,700
When we practice, we learn to look deeply 
and not get caught in the word 'nothing'.

61
00:07:42,602 --> 00:07:44,309
Sometimes we use the word 'nothing'

62
00:07:44,745 --> 00:07:49,393
to describe when something 
is not seen anymore,

63
00:07:51,692 --> 00:07:52,815
the food on your plate,

64
00:07:52,996 --> 00:07:56,375
you finish eating,
you eat everything on your plate

65
00:07:57,704 --> 00:08:02,236
and then you say 
there's nothing on the plate, right?

66
00:08:03,437 --> 00:08:07,831
So we use the word 'nothing' 
to describe when we don't see something.

67
00:08:14,516 --> 00:08:22,397
Sometimes we have a cup, right?

68
00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:24,955
You say, there's tea in that cup

69
00:08:26,751 --> 00:08:33,305
and there's nothing in the cup, right,

70
00:08:37,281 --> 00:08:39,155
but is there something else in the cup?

71
00:08:43,229 --> 00:08:45,332
Air, right!

72
00:08:46,852 --> 00:08:51,207
So you can say there's nothing, 
but then you can say there is something,

73
00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:53,304
right?

74
00:08:54,494 --> 00:08:58,158
So we have to be very careful 
when we use a word,

75
00:08:59,202 --> 00:09:00,139
nothing,

76
00:09:00,638 --> 00:09:02,380
and don't let it stop you

77
00:09:02,516 --> 00:09:07,365
from questioning the meaning 
of the word, you understand?

78
00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:12,929
I believe your question is very, 
you want to understand

79
00:09:13,044 --> 00:09:17,125
and please continue 
to ask that question, okay?

80
00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:25,390
Well your plate is empty 
and you say there's nothing on the plate,

81
00:09:27,585 --> 00:09:29,120
and where did it go?

82
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:33,466
That something, the food.

83
00:09:36,366 --> 00:09:38,739
Right, so the food comes 
into your stomach,

84
00:09:39,551 --> 00:09:42,529
it goes, and it doesn't become nothing.

85
00:09:44,309 --> 00:09:48,517
So nothing and something 
have a relationship, right?

86
00:09:48,692 --> 00:09:51,975
Like, there's nothing, 
but there's also something.

87
00:09:53,449 --> 00:09:55,328
So when you ask, there is nothing

88
00:09:55,524 --> 00:09:59,771
you have to ask,
what is it, that is nothing of.

89
00:10:02,161 --> 00:10:05,394
So it doesn't really disappear 
but maybe we don't see it,

90
00:10:10,033 --> 00:10:11,256
you understand?

91
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:17,953
So when you ask, what is nothing?

92
00:10:18,755 --> 00:10:23,591
then you have to also be open 
to say, what is something?

93
00:10:27,497 --> 00:10:28,808
Do you understand?

94
00:10:29,673 --> 00:10:30,741
<i>A little bit yeah!</i>

95
00:10:34,393 --> 00:10:37,561
I'm just basically sharing with you...

96
00:10:37,958 --> 00:10:41,549
Don't just take the definition of nothing,

97
00:10:42,395 --> 00:10:49,238
because in the dictionary they probably 
say, nothing is when the...

98
00:10:50,439 --> 00:10:52,018
What does it mean anyway?

99
00:10:54,177 --> 00:10:58,559
When something is 
the opposite of something,

100
00:10:59,694 --> 00:11:06,038
but sometimes you need to look 
more carefully so you don't get tricked.

101
00:11:07,178 --> 00:11:11,115
It's kind of like hide and seek, right?

102
00:11:11,985 --> 00:11:15,794
When you say something disappears,
you have to go where did it go?

103
00:11:18,309 --> 00:11:23,091
It doesn't become nothing 
but maybe becomes something else,

104
00:11:24,270 --> 00:11:26,762
like when you see the cloud up in the sky,

105
00:11:30,030 --> 00:11:33,300
did you ever see a cloud disappear?

106
00:11:34,603 --> 00:11:37,408
If you sit in the right place,
somewhere over a hill

107
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you see the cloud go.

108
00:11:40,939 --> 00:11:42,237
It appeared,

109
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and then you wait for a while
and you look somewhere else,

110
00:11:45,697 --> 00:11:48,317
and when you look up, 
and then the cloud disappeared.

111
00:11:49,549 --> 00:11:51,497
And you say, there's nothing there now,

112
00:11:53,599 --> 00:11:56,212
but if you look closely, 
the cloud is still there.

113
00:12:03,735 --> 00:12:13,485
So please remember to not be caught 
when there is no cloud, okay?

114
00:12:13,675 --> 00:12:17,244
You can also look and see, 
where did the cloud go?

115
00:12:17,495 --> 00:12:19,443
Did it become the moisture?

116
00:12:19,837 --> 00:12:21,441
Sometimes it becomes the rain

117
00:12:23,235 --> 00:12:26,365
and sometimes, like right now, 
do you think there's a cloud here?

118
00:12:27,919 --> 00:12:32,708
There's nothing here, 
but I think if I keep doing this enough

119
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,387
and you can see a very light cloud

120
00:12:43,142 --> 00:12:43,900
I try

121
00:12:46,148 --> 00:12:49,550
but you see that some time 
in a chemistry class or something,

122
00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:51,193
you do certain things

123
00:12:51,977 --> 00:12:54,901
and it makes the temperature change 
and the moisture happen

124
00:12:55,765 --> 00:12:57,268
like when you take a shower,

125
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,805
sometimes you see the mist come up

126
00:13:01,294 --> 00:13:04,709
please know that sometimes,
just because you don't see it there,

127
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:07,929
doesn't mean there's nothing there, okay?

128
00:13:08,752 --> 00:13:10,111
thank you for your question

129
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:17,113
and please continue 
to ask your other friends

130
00:13:18,502 --> 00:13:20,664
maybe they have a very interesting answer

131
00:13:21,944 --> 00:13:22,702
thank you

132
00:13:26,001 --> 00:13:26,862
<i>thank you</i>

133
00:13:29,982 --> 00:13:31,249
[gong]

134
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:38,495
[gong]

135
00:13:57,336 --> 00:14:00,761
why can't you cook fish in Plum Village?

136
00:14:11,089 --> 00:14:15,782
So the question is, 
why can't we cook fish in Plum Village?

137
00:14:18,685 --> 00:14:22,271
Why can't we cook fish in Plum Village?

138
00:14:55,258 --> 00:15:00,361
I think it's because we enjoy the fish 
alive and swimming in the pond

139
00:15:00,361 --> 00:15:03,814
more, than we do seeing the fish in a pan

140
00:15:05,408 --> 00:15:09,018
and it's not that we cannot

141
00:15:10,298 --> 00:15:11,573
it's that we don't want to

142
00:15:13,795 --> 00:15:15,507
we choose not to cook the fish

143
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:25,067
and here we choose to eat 
what we call vegetarian

144
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:27,407
Do you know what vegetarian means?

145
00:15:32,894 --> 00:15:36,963
It's just we don't eat meat,
we don't eat fish,

146
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,440
we try to eat in such a way

147
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:48,030
that we minimize the suffering that we 
cause to animals, plants and minerals

148
00:15:48,344 --> 00:15:49,654
and even to people

149
00:15:50,522 --> 00:15:54,848
and that's why 
when we are here in Plum Village

150
00:15:54,992 --> 00:15:56,547
we choose not to cook the fish

151
00:15:56,959 --> 00:16:02,847
because we also want to prevent the fish 
from suffering a little bit

152
00:16:03,768 --> 00:16:06,819
can you imagine if someone 
put you in a pan and cooked you?

153
00:16:10,506 --> 00:16:12,961
Yeah not very nice right?

154
00:16:14,132 --> 00:16:16,763
So that's why we choose 
not to cook the fish.

155
00:16:17,053 --> 00:16:18,532
yeah, thank you

156
00:16:20,629 --> 00:16:24,759
[gong]

157
00:16:34,937 --> 00:16:39,888
<i>pourquoi les moines et les nonnes 
ne peuvent pas avoir d'amoureux?</i>

158
00:16:41,893 --> 00:16:43,397
Yes, so the question is,

159
00:16:43,972 --> 00:16:48,748
why can't monks and nuns 
be in love with somebody

160
00:16:49,344 --> 00:16:52,240
or be in love with each other 
or another person?

161
00:16:55,629 --> 00:16:56,742
Have a lover, okay.

162
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,859
Thank you brother Dickian

163
00:17:10,895 --> 00:17:15,258
So why can't monks and nuns have lovers?

164
00:17:18,583 --> 00:17:20,392
I think this is for Sister Lan Nghiem.

165
00:17:35,410 --> 00:17:37,889
Dear Thay, dear sangha, 
dear children,

166
00:17:39,293 --> 00:17:43,088
I'm always very happy to listen 
to the questions of children

167
00:17:43,539 --> 00:17:46,324
but now to answer, 
that is something different

168
00:17:48,616 --> 00:17:51,138
and I do like the question and

169
00:17:51,707 --> 00:17:55,696
because I think it's not completely true 
that we cannot have a lover

170
00:17:56,239 --> 00:18:03,711
I remember a long time ago,
I shared something about in a presentation

171
00:18:03,937 --> 00:18:06,240
that I shared that I had a secret lover

172
00:18:07,256 --> 00:18:10,814
and it was not really a man 
but it was a sister

173
00:18:11,644 --> 00:18:12,932
and it was a sister.

174
00:18:13,488 --> 00:18:18,525
One day I was a little bit upset 
things were not going well

175
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:24,583
and I was upset and you know,
I didn't want to talk to anybody

176
00:18:25,434 --> 00:18:27,215
and then I came in the study room

177
00:18:27,755 --> 00:18:31,171
and then I found 
a beautiful flower on my desk

178
00:18:32,262 --> 00:18:33,200
beautiful

179
00:18:33,835 --> 00:18:36,194
<i>kaarsjeskruid in het Nederlands</i>

180
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:41,351
and I was so happy to see this flower

181
00:18:41,894 --> 00:18:44,960
and it changed immediately my whole mood

182
00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:47,975
because somebody had thought about me

183
00:18:48,367 --> 00:18:51,283
and knew that I was in a difficult mood

184
00:18:51,593 --> 00:18:54,359
and that it was not going well and so on

185
00:18:54,891 --> 00:18:57,154
and she put there a flower on my desk

186
00:18:57,379 --> 00:19:02,247
so in this presentation I spoke about, 
I do have a secret lover

187
00:19:02,411 --> 00:19:03,932
and that was this sister

188
00:19:04,536 --> 00:19:06,344
and a secret lover that is somebody,

189
00:19:09,965 --> 00:19:14,651
somebody who understands you
and keeps an eye on you

190
00:19:15,122 --> 00:19:17,414
and if you see that you are not doing well

191
00:19:17,414 --> 00:19:19,783
then she is going 
to support you a little bit

192
00:19:20,486 --> 00:19:23,303
for example by putting 
a flower on your desk

193
00:19:27,892 --> 00:19:29,234
so this is about the sister

194
00:19:29,489 --> 00:19:33,822
and the second part of the question

195
00:19:36,555 --> 00:19:38,519
why can monistics not have a lover?

196
00:19:39,315 --> 00:19:44,988
I think it is because we have chosen 
to spend our time in a different way

197
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:47,297
it's all about that

198
00:19:49,052 --> 00:19:52,156
we like to be a monastic 
we really like to practice

199
00:19:53,323 --> 00:19:55,496
we like to share the practice 
with everybody

200
00:19:56,226 --> 00:20:02,026
and maybe as you have seen, 
it's a lot of work here it's quite busy

201
00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:04,942
we have many big retreats during the year

202
00:20:05,863 --> 00:20:09,193
now like the summer retreat,
many people, a lot of work

203
00:20:10,598 --> 00:20:14,510
so we have chosen 
to spend our time in a different way

204
00:20:15,026 --> 00:20:16,839
and to share the practice with you

205
00:20:18,547 --> 00:20:24,453
and imagine if I had 
this other kind of lover, a romantic lover

206
00:20:25,242 --> 00:20:28,405
then I would not have so much time

207
00:20:28,763 --> 00:20:32,633
then I would have to share my time 
with this man and with the Sangha

208
00:20:33,469 --> 00:20:36,426
so it's not so much time 
that I could be here

209
00:20:36,681 --> 00:20:39,049
and taking care 
of all the friends and so on

210
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:44,126
so it's about this, it's a choice in life 
that we have to make

211
00:20:44,933 --> 00:20:48,578
and I have quite some peace with it

212
00:20:49,725 --> 00:20:50,877
thank you

213
00:20:53,226 --> 00:21:00,386
[gong]

214
00:21:30,441 --> 00:21:35,016
<i> Warum ist mein Leben eigentlich 
immer schwerer als das von den Anderen?</i>

215
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:51,653
So please correct me if I'm wrong, 
the question is,

216
00:21:51,854 --> 00:21:58,172
why is my life always more difficult 
than the lives of others?

217
00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:03,293
so first, thank you for your question,

218
00:22:05,601 --> 00:22:07,589
and thank you on behalf of everybody here

219
00:22:08,503 --> 00:22:13,965
because when you ask a question like that 
then we all bring it into our heart

220
00:22:17,459 --> 00:22:24,310
and I think we all have gone 
through times in our lives

221
00:22:24,502 --> 00:22:26,892
where we feel 
our life is so much more difficult

222
00:22:28,011 --> 00:22:29,618
than the lives of other people

223
00:22:31,210 --> 00:22:33,324
is there anyone who has never felt that?

224
00:22:41,550 --> 00:22:44,007
ok, there's one person 
who's never felt that

225
00:22:54,859 --> 00:23:00,610
and for myself sometimes I feel 
I'm not good enough

226
00:23:04,164 --> 00:23:06,894
I feel I'm not smart enough

227
00:23:10,486 --> 00:23:16,925
I feel like I'm only average 
or maybe a little bit below average

228
00:23:18,569 --> 00:23:21,615
can you imagine, 
as a monk you feel like that?

229
00:23:23,300 --> 00:23:25,039
but it's true yeah

230
00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:34,808
and then I think in my heart, 
it's not fair

231
00:23:39,343 --> 00:23:40,736
because look at the kid

232
00:23:41,072 --> 00:23:43,259
look at him, look at her, 
they are so talented

233
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:48,669
they're so intelligent, 
they speak so beautifully, they speak so..

234
00:23:49,387 --> 00:23:52,247
they're so kind and compassionate, 
I'm very selfish

235
00:23:53,449 --> 00:23:56,218
sometimes I have that kind of thinking 
even as a monk

236
00:23:57,124 --> 00:23:58,178
do you believe me?

237
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:03,840
yeah it's true

238
00:24:08,950 --> 00:24:15,362
and so, then I wish, you know, why? 
I wish to know why is it like that?

239
00:24:27,888 --> 00:24:29,358
why is my life so difficult?

240
00:24:32,607 --> 00:24:37,794
when I was young in middle school

241
00:24:38,866 --> 00:24:40,826
I was about eleven, twelve years old

242
00:24:43,424 --> 00:24:47,304
and there was a boy and he was a

243
00:24:47,304 --> 00:24:49,177
when I would walk down the hallway

244
00:24:49,544 --> 00:24:51,424
one day he punched me in the shoulder.

245
00:24:54,005 --> 00:24:57,464
I didn't see him, he's punching,
ow, it's very painful.

246
00:24:59,478 --> 00:25:03,091
and then a couple days later, 
he did it again

247
00:25:05,820 --> 00:25:08,498
and then I started 
to have fear to see that boy

248
00:25:10,144 --> 00:25:14,610
if I was walking in the hallway 
and I saw that fear

249
00:25:14,918 --> 00:25:18,857
I started to arrange my life 
so I could avoid that boy

250
00:25:24,318 --> 00:25:27,706
and so I suffered very much 
and I said why is my life so difficult?

251
00:25:28,321 --> 00:25:29,227
why can't I be...

252
00:25:29,794 --> 00:25:31,887
at that time many of the boys they grew

253
00:25:31,887 --> 00:25:34,292
I was very young for my grade

254
00:25:35,181 --> 00:25:38,689
so many of the boys they grew up
very tall and I was still very small

255
00:25:42,663 --> 00:25:48,535
and so I suffered for many weeks like that

256
00:25:49,317 --> 00:25:53,359
in fear that I would see that boy and 
he would punch me in the shoulder again

257
00:26:03,863 --> 00:26:08,990
and all I wanted was 
to be big and strong like the other boys

258
00:26:10,873 --> 00:26:15,895
and be really cool and 
talk with all the really cool girls

259
00:26:18,552 --> 00:26:19,299
yeah?

260
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:24,698
Have you ever felt something like that? 
No,

261
00:26:25,513 --> 00:26:26,747
okay yeah you

262
00:26:27,041 --> 00:26:27,858
maybe you want

263
00:26:29,843 --> 00:26:31,655
well anyway, I felt like that

264
00:26:39,524 --> 00:26:44,616
and then, because I continued like that 
for a little while

265
00:26:45,192 --> 00:26:49,278
then eventually 
we sat with somebody in the school

266
00:26:50,513 --> 00:26:52,383
and we tried to have a communication

267
00:26:56,006 --> 00:26:58,124
and you know what I found out?

268
00:27:00,698 --> 00:27:02,346
he didn't like my haircut

269
00:27:06,773 --> 00:27:08,026
can you believe that?

270
00:27:09,026 --> 00:27:14,790
he didn't like my haircut 
and he thought I was trying to be cool

271
00:27:16,665 --> 00:27:18,222
maybe I was trying to be cool

272
00:27:20,086 --> 00:27:21,841
and sometimes the boys are like that

273
00:27:21,841 --> 00:27:24,740
they want to put each other
in their place, you know?

274
00:27:24,740 --> 00:27:27,528
like, you are not cool, 
you have to stay in your place

275
00:27:28,245 --> 00:27:29,032
I am cool

276
00:27:29,798 --> 00:27:31,284
anyway something like that

277
00:27:33,512 --> 00:27:36,158
and now when I look back at that, 
it looks very silly

278
00:27:38,278 --> 00:27:43,017
but at the time when I was that age 
it was very real for me everyday

279
00:27:44,278 --> 00:27:45,930
and I felt my life is so difficult

280
00:27:45,939 --> 00:27:47,698
and I said where did my happiness go

281
00:27:49,163 --> 00:27:52,736
I was a very happy boy and then 
suddenly my happiness disappeared

282
00:27:53,732 --> 00:27:54,563
because of

283
00:27:55,020 --> 00:27:57,697
not because of that boy, 
but because of my fear

284
00:27:58,064 --> 00:27:59,409
I let my fear take over

285
00:28:02,299 --> 00:28:03,716
what he did was very little

286
00:28:04,912 --> 00:28:08,699
but what happened inside of me 
was very big, the emotion

287
00:28:11,412 --> 00:28:13,265
and that is true most of our life

288
00:28:14,317 --> 00:28:19,479
we have a strong emotion and we think 
it's because of something out there

289
00:28:20,614 --> 00:28:22,390
but actually it's something in here

290
00:28:23,283 --> 00:28:26,011
maybe there's something inside 
we're not taking care of

291
00:28:28,199 --> 00:28:30,433
so that's why here in Plum Village, 
we learn..

292
00:28:31,268 --> 00:28:32,910
I love to work with the children

293
00:28:33,776 --> 00:28:35,815
to teach them how to breathe mindfully

294
00:28:36,909 --> 00:28:41,250
you know, <i>breathing in, breathing out</i>

295
00:28:41,250 --> 00:28:42,833
Do you know? We sing that song

296
00:28:43,447 --> 00:28:46,921
and even when the kids are very noisy, 
when we start singing that song

297
00:28:46,924 --> 00:28:51,135
after a few bars, they calm down 
and they all start singing it

298
00:28:52,016 --> 00:28:54,410
and I feel so at peace at my heart

299
00:28:54,652 --> 00:28:57,544
because when I was that age 
I didn't have that practice

300
00:28:58,128 --> 00:29:02,263
I didn't have anyone who taught me 
how to come back to my breathing

301
00:29:02,534 --> 00:29:04,359
and be solid like a mountain

302
00:29:05,013 --> 00:29:07,609
I didn't feel I could be solid 
like a mountain

303
00:29:08,940 --> 00:29:11,235
I just compared myself to other people

304
00:29:12,141 --> 00:29:18,946
and I saw Who am I?, 
based on what I saw about the other kids.

305
00:29:21,895 --> 00:29:26,223
and so that's what here in Plum Village 
we learned you know

306
00:29:26,223 --> 00:29:27,586
we are solid like a mountain

307
00:29:27,586 --> 00:29:30,399
the mountain doesn't compare itself 
to the other mountains

308
00:29:32,823 --> 00:29:34,102
you understand?

309
00:29:34,604 --> 00:29:35,726
the mountain is solid,

310
00:29:35,726 --> 00:29:38,862
it doesn't say, why is that mountain 
more beautiful over there?

311
00:29:40,866 --> 00:29:44,498
you know, there's a mountain, 
Mont Blanc, in the Alps

312
00:29:45,084 --> 00:29:47,410
do you know that mountain, Mont Blanc?

313
00:29:49,758 --> 00:29:51,248
it's a very beautiful mountain

314
00:29:51,248 --> 00:29:53,754
and lots of people take pictures 
of that mountain.

315
00:29:54,863 --> 00:29:57,268
But you know, 
there's a mountain right next to it,

316
00:29:58,294 --> 00:30:00,720
but not many people 
take a picture of that mountain

317
00:30:02,277 --> 00:30:05,116
and so that mountain can say, 
why is my life so difficult?

318
00:30:07,891 --> 00:30:12,806
do you think the mountain says that? 
Yes?

319
00:30:15,471 --> 00:30:17,948
no, of course, 
it's the mountain next to Mount Blanc

320
00:30:17,948 --> 00:30:21,422
it doesn't say, why is everyone 
taking a picture of my brother?

321
00:30:25,763 --> 00:30:27,201
well I never heard it say that

322
00:30:40,087 --> 00:30:43,256
so when we are able 
to touch the solidity in ourselves

323
00:30:43,948 --> 00:30:46,931
and be like the mountain,
then we don't compare,

324
00:30:47,909 --> 00:30:51,014
we don't compare we're happy, 
we're totally happy just who we are

325
00:30:51,391 --> 00:30:52,567
being who we are

326
00:30:52,567 --> 00:30:54,829
even if we have suffering, we have sadness

327
00:30:55,757 --> 00:30:59,060
but we see that that is a part of our life

328
00:31:01,436 --> 00:31:05,451
and we don't need to look anymore 
at the others around

329
00:31:06,902 --> 00:31:09,667
we can just breathe and we can still smile

330
00:31:11,737 --> 00:31:13,529
You can still smile, see?

331
00:31:15,354 --> 00:31:18,381
and just be solid like that mountain

332
00:31:19,306 --> 00:31:22,213
and then sometimes, 
someone will turn the camera a little bit

333
00:31:22,213 --> 00:31:23,358
and will say, wow!

334
00:31:23,886 --> 00:31:27,687
everyone takes a picture of Mount Blanc, 
but that mountain is so beautiful

335
00:31:29,521 --> 00:31:31,980
and they will take a picture 
of the other mountain.

336
00:31:34,294 --> 00:31:36,455
When you touch the beauty inside yourself

337
00:31:36,642 --> 00:31:38,545
then people start to pay attention

338
00:31:39,359 --> 00:31:41,384
they start to look and they see wow

339
00:31:42,284 --> 00:31:45,442
you are so special

340
00:31:46,861 --> 00:31:47,964
you're so beautiful

341
00:31:49,414 --> 00:31:51,330
you're so such a kind person

342
00:31:54,347 --> 00:31:57,004
yeah it's magical, but it works

343
00:31:58,598 --> 00:32:00,629
so please try that, try breathing,

344
00:32:02,863 --> 00:32:04,915
try just looking at the emotion

345
00:32:04,915 --> 00:32:07,733
when it comes up, 
when you feel your life is so difficult,

346
00:32:08,178 --> 00:32:09,062
just breathe,

347
00:32:09,882 --> 00:32:12,065
just remember the Bell and your breath

348
00:32:12,526 --> 00:32:15,245
and just pay attention 
to that emotion inside of you

349
00:32:16,187 --> 00:32:17,407
and you can smile to it

350
00:32:17,801 --> 00:32:19,223
just like you smile to me

351
00:32:20,390 --> 00:32:22,472
okay? can you try that?

352
00:32:25,073 --> 00:32:27,027
okay, good luck

353
00:32:30,015 --> 00:32:32,349
[gong]

354
00:32:35,414 --> 00:32:40,999
[gong]

355
00:33:09,448 --> 00:33:11,220
<i>je voulais vous poser comme question,</i>

356
00:33:11,586 --> 00:33:18,416
<i>avez-vous des methodes pour gerer 
mes mauvaises humeurs et mes angoisses?</i>

357
00:33:34,825 --> 00:33:36,080
So the question is,

358
00:33:38,632 --> 00:33:46,880
could you help me with a method 
to take care of bad moods and anxiety

359
00:33:49,071 --> 00:33:55,524
what is the method 
to help deal with bad moods and anxiety

360
00:34:14,069 --> 00:34:17,381
maybe... I'm not sure if they 
ever have bad moods and anxiety

361
00:34:22,539 --> 00:34:23,421
of course they do

362
00:34:39,484 --> 00:34:41,357
I think I'm in a bad mood right now

363
00:34:48,482 --> 00:34:52,233
and it's possible 
to smile to your bad mood

364
00:34:54,194 --> 00:35:00,955
it's possible to learn how to relate 
differently to anxiety or sadness

365
00:35:01,371 --> 00:35:03,198
or when you're feeling down

366
00:35:03,775 --> 00:35:05,484
or when things don't go your way

367
00:35:08,887 --> 00:35:13,384
and I think all of us, 
we have certain habit energies

368
00:35:13,679 --> 00:35:14,751
the way we react

369
00:35:16,781 --> 00:35:19,510
to for instance when we have a bad mood

370
00:35:25,355 --> 00:35:26,602
I'm asked to slow down

371
00:35:28,565 --> 00:35:30,703
and that makes me even more in a bad mood

372
00:35:38,348 --> 00:35:42,175
and so for myself I find

373
00:35:43,653 --> 00:35:47,502
I have to learn how to identify 
what triggers my bad mood

374
00:35:49,813 --> 00:35:55,256
very often it's because something happens 
that makes me uncomfortable

375
00:35:56,253 --> 00:35:58,398
like I cannot be myself

376
00:35:59,958 --> 00:36:03,646
like right now, I cannot speak 
at the speed I would like to speak

377
00:36:06,881 --> 00:36:09,435
so I feel a bit uncomfortable

378
00:36:11,649 --> 00:36:12,714
but at the same time

379
00:36:15,604 --> 00:36:18,725
I've trained myself for many years

380
00:36:18,946 --> 00:36:22,846
it doesn't mean that I'm good at it 
already, but it's a training

381
00:36:24,283 --> 00:36:25,690
to sit with this bad mood

382
00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:28,133
when it comes up I breathe through it

383
00:36:29,768 --> 00:36:31,910
and during those few seconds of breathing

384
00:36:32,141 --> 00:36:35,555
or just stopping and not being 
carried away by the bad mood

385
00:36:38,459 --> 00:36:41,956
then you can see it from a different side

386
00:36:42,819 --> 00:36:45,625
for instance, 
I'm uncomfortable speaking slow

387
00:36:46,007 --> 00:36:48,438
but it would help our translators

388
00:36:51,957 --> 00:36:55,302
so then I can speak slow just to help out

389
00:36:55,731 --> 00:36:59,474
and then, that kind of lifts my bad mood

390
00:36:59,582 --> 00:37:02,655
it doesn't have to always be about me, 
for instance.

391
00:37:08,842 --> 00:37:12,779
I find, all of us we have a tendency

392
00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:15,965
when there's a bit of suffering 
that comes up

393
00:37:16,534 --> 00:37:18,573
we want to get rid of it right away

394
00:37:19,853 --> 00:37:24,244
whether it's the bad mood 
or the sadness or anxiety

395
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:27,107
we want to get rid of it right away

396
00:37:27,630 --> 00:37:30,818
and this causes us 
a bit more suffering I think

397
00:37:33,590 --> 00:37:37,048
but when we learn 
how to sit with it for a little bit

398
00:37:37,230 --> 00:37:39,249
just allow it to be for a little bit

399
00:37:39,922 --> 00:37:42,231
we can understand why it's there

400
00:37:45,483 --> 00:37:48,345
for instance your bad mood 
may be something very simple

401
00:37:48,459 --> 00:37:50,801
maybe you didn't get 
enough sleep last night

402
00:37:52,374 --> 00:37:58,487
or you've been asked to do too many things
that are out of your capacity

403
00:37:58,819 --> 00:38:00,618
like you over stretch yourself

404
00:38:00,761 --> 00:38:03,175
and then your body is weary, 
your mind is weary,

405
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,899
and then your bad mood 
comes up very easily.

406
00:38:06,831 --> 00:38:10,558
So, just to sit with the bad mood 
and to look a little bit into it

407
00:38:10,747 --> 00:38:12,511
and to see where it's come from

408
00:38:15,681 --> 00:38:18,167
and sometimes like I say 
it's something very simple

409
00:38:18,986 --> 00:38:21,602
so we all have to kind of 
train ourselves in this

410
00:38:22,238 --> 00:38:25,531
and not just to want to get rid 
of the bad mood right away

411
00:38:26,182 --> 00:38:31,816
but to identify the reasons why 
the bad mood came about in the first place

412
00:38:32,197 --> 00:38:35,492
and then it's easier to learn to be

413
00:38:35,711 --> 00:38:37,607
and to shift your mood

414
00:38:41,583 --> 00:38:43,736
yeah, thank you

415
00:38:46,954 --> 00:38:48,483
[gong]

416
00:38:51,603 --> 00:38:58,458
[gong]

417
00:39:12,488 --> 00:39:15,947
<i>Est-ce que vous êtes devenus moines 
ou moniales pour combler une vide,</i>

418
00:39:16,814 --> 00:39:18,030
<i>ou pour aider les autres?</i>

419
00:39:48,042 --> 00:39:54,636
So did you become a monk or a nun 
in order to fill a void in yourself?

420
00:40:05,503 --> 00:40:09,425
Did you become a monk or a nun 
in order to fill a void in yourself

421
00:40:09,846 --> 00:40:11,704
or to help others?

422
00:40:14,403 --> 00:40:18,143
I had a similar question 
but I phrased it differently

423
00:40:18,502 --> 00:40:20,556
when I first met the monks and nuns.

424
00:40:22,108 --> 00:40:25,438
I went to a retreat 
and I saw them smile a lot

425
00:40:27,276 --> 00:40:32,171
and I was raised in America 
so I'm very suspicious of everything

426
00:40:35,929 --> 00:40:36,953
not all Americans,

427
00:40:37,114 --> 00:40:43,594
but particularly I was very afraid 
of things that seemed too happy

428
00:40:45,355 --> 00:40:46,963
you know, like Plum Village is...

429
00:40:49,820 --> 00:40:52,453
if I was a stranger and I came here 
I would go...

430
00:40:56,725 --> 00:40:59,308
there's something very strange 
happening here

431
00:41:01,566 --> 00:41:04,459
so I came to Plum Village,

432
00:41:04,703 --> 00:41:07,616
I followed the monks and nuns 
for three months around America

433
00:41:07,899 --> 00:41:12,151
to find out what happened 
behind the retreat

434
00:41:15,150 --> 00:41:17,350
and I began to understand more

435
00:41:19,516 --> 00:41:23,479
that the monks and nuns are humans

436
00:41:24,178 --> 00:41:26,612
they do have suffering, 
they do have happiness

437
00:41:28,008 --> 00:41:32,242
and they also have an aspiration 
to have meaning in their life.

438
00:41:33,553 --> 00:41:37,116
so it's not like 
we are running away from society

439
00:41:38,692 --> 00:41:45,183
or we are trying 
to get something for ourselves

440
00:41:46,205 --> 00:41:51,433
but it's very linked because, 
if you can take care of yourself...

441
00:41:51,691 --> 00:41:53,350
I had anger issues

442
00:41:53,750 --> 00:41:59,396
so if I learn how to take care of my anger
and be less angry

443
00:42:01,498 --> 00:42:02,553
of my father

444
00:42:02,993 --> 00:42:05,764
then I see that's very linked 
to my happiness

445
00:42:07,451 --> 00:42:09,277
so sometimes you remove the anger

446
00:42:09,650 --> 00:42:14,610
and what you're left with 
is a lot of space, to enjoy, right?

447
00:42:16,062 --> 00:42:20,426
most of my young adult life, 
I was very easily...

448
00:42:20,860 --> 00:42:25,945
it didn't look like it, 
but inside I was very frustrated

449
00:42:26,129 --> 00:42:34,350
and very easily anxious, 
we call it frustrated

450
00:42:35,489 --> 00:42:38,404
they call it urban <i>angst</i>, they call it now

451
00:42:39,147 --> 00:42:40,673
it's very easily...

452
00:42:42,122 --> 00:42:44,246
but outside I looked very happy.

453
00:42:45,694 --> 00:42:51,212
I do my job 9:00 to 5:00,
but inside there was a void

454
00:42:52,245 --> 00:42:56,437
and it's related to the anger 
of not having any meaning

455
00:42:57,977 --> 00:43:02,841
so the monks and when I follow them 
I see that some of them do have suffering

456
00:43:03,375 --> 00:43:05,723
some of them know 
how to take care of this,

457
00:43:05,899 --> 00:43:09,138
some of them know how to enjoy life

458
00:43:09,664 --> 00:43:14,382
to help to be grateful with their life, 
with their parents

459
00:43:15,017 --> 00:43:19,863
so I begin to understand more 
on how to handle suffering

460
00:43:20,728 --> 00:43:25,610
and how to also live a life 
more meaningful,

461
00:43:25,762 --> 00:43:29,507
rather than work, spend, 
work, spend, work, spend

462
00:43:30,642 --> 00:43:32,226
so this for me...

463
00:43:32,947 --> 00:43:34,660
and then I came to Plum Village

464
00:43:34,884 --> 00:43:39,120
and I started to discover 
more about their lives

465
00:43:40,528 --> 00:43:45,239
and then I became a monk 
to kind of go undercover

466
00:43:45,804 --> 00:43:49,371
to see what they really do 
inside the residence

467
00:43:52,683 --> 00:43:55,304
so I'm still here researching whether...

468
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:00,563
they haven't kicked me out of here yet

469
00:44:00,572 --> 00:44:01,489
yeah

470
00:44:02,453 --> 00:44:04,448
but I always tried to keep that in mind

471
00:44:05,659 --> 00:44:09,823
and I see more and more of my life, 
I became to be more true

472
00:44:10,871 --> 00:44:14,384
so it's not about empty or 
you're fulfilling your life

473
00:44:15,612 --> 00:44:22,046
but, what is the meaning of your life? 
what is your life for?

474
00:44:23,998 --> 00:44:27,644
and I see more and more 
I'm finding out that when you share

475
00:44:28,964 --> 00:44:31,520
when you can make another person happy

476
00:44:32,820 --> 00:44:35,403
when you help another person suffer less

477
00:44:36,186 --> 00:44:37,895
somehow their happiness,

478
00:44:38,209 --> 00:44:43,394
their transformation 
is also your happiness

479
00:44:43,771 --> 00:44:47,012
so I don't have to go around 
to try to fulfill my life

480
00:44:47,795 --> 00:44:52,428
and to achieve and then have success 
and I have a lot of money and have a car

481
00:44:53,679 --> 00:44:58,017
but now my life is, 
I fill it up with other people's happiness

482
00:44:59,296 --> 00:45:00,713
and also their suffering

483
00:45:01,749 --> 00:45:04,376
when I see a person 
can handle their suffering

484
00:45:05,969 --> 00:45:09,174
I saw a young woman 
come out to the meditation hall

485
00:45:09,987 --> 00:45:15,825
and she cry, at Lower Hamlet, 
when after the Dharma talk

486
00:45:16,388 --> 00:45:21,836
and she ran and her friend tried 
to grab her and she put her hand away

487
00:45:22,504 --> 00:45:25,454
and she told her friend,
I think, from far away

488
00:45:25,765 --> 00:45:26,828
she say something

489
00:45:27,263 --> 00:45:29,670
and so her friend bowed to her 
and then she went

490
00:45:30,073 --> 00:45:34,008
and the young woman that was crying
went to the bush in there

491
00:45:34,732 --> 00:45:35,884
and I saw her sit

492
00:45:37,134 --> 00:45:41,490
and she put her bag down 
and she sit there for a while

493
00:45:41,634 --> 00:45:43,042
and I was eating my orange

494
00:45:46,598 --> 00:45:48,226
and she sat there for a while

495
00:45:48,495 --> 00:45:52,322
and then she stood up 
picked her bag turned around

496
00:45:53,334 --> 00:45:56,228
and you can tell her face more peaceful

497
00:45:57,314 --> 00:45:59,676
and for me that is my happiness

498
00:46:01,357 --> 00:46:06,431
you see, so, I also have suffering 
and I learned how to take care of it

499
00:46:06,431 --> 00:46:10,431
so I can recognize when someone does that

500
00:46:12,242 --> 00:46:17,662
so the emptiness we sometimes feel 
is because we don't have meaning

501
00:46:18,991 --> 00:46:20,794
we don't know why we go to work

502
00:46:22,106 --> 00:46:24,200
we don't know why we do what we do

503
00:46:25,391 --> 00:46:28,389
sometimes we don't even know 
why we're going on vacation

504
00:46:30,456 --> 00:46:31,621
you just have to do it

505
00:46:34,944 --> 00:46:36,906
this is my life before

506
00:46:37,542 --> 00:46:38,631
it's time for vacation

507
00:46:40,240 --> 00:46:43,583
what should I do now? 
spend more money right

508
00:46:44,550 --> 00:46:48,740
and so this is what, as a young man, 
I became more empty

509
00:46:48,900 --> 00:46:53,513
because my life 
didn't have a higher meaning

510
00:46:54,795 --> 00:46:59,472
and this is why I kind of 
chose to become a monk

511
00:47:00,047 --> 00:47:04,793
not to run away from society 
but to live more meaningfully

512
00:47:06,289 --> 00:47:11,086
and sometimes people come here and 
they say we here are not really the world

513
00:47:11,205 --> 00:47:12,380
the world is out there

514
00:47:13,302 --> 00:47:16,608
now I have to go back to the world right, 
tomorrow or the next day

515
00:47:17,349 --> 00:47:18,930
and this is not the real world

516
00:47:20,022 --> 00:47:22,283
and that we have to question that

517
00:47:23,049 --> 00:47:24,514
I mean if you accept that

518
00:47:26,738 --> 00:47:31,138
that's why we have anxiety 
we have depression, we have a lot of...

519
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:39,755
so we need to create a way of living 
that can help us have fulfillment

520
00:47:40,973 --> 00:47:46,439
and not to constantly be, have a void, 
an emptiness, no meaning

521
00:47:46,439 --> 00:47:51,189
<i>vide,</i> what do you mean with <i>vide</i>, 
emptiness, is a life without meaning

522
00:47:53,250 --> 00:47:55,324
so it's more or less philosophical

523
00:47:55,685 --> 00:47:58,188
it's like, 
what is the meaning of your life?

524
00:47:59,106 --> 00:48:02,055
what is my purpose 
every morning that I wake up

525
00:48:02,915 --> 00:48:05,691
you have to answer that question every day

526
00:48:07,430 --> 00:48:09,917
and you will see that 
it will link to your happiness

527
00:48:11,332 --> 00:48:15,609
and you'll see that it is not about you 
and your career and your thing

528
00:48:15,879 --> 00:48:21,270
but it's actually becoming more connected 
to other people

529
00:48:21,461 --> 00:48:25,448
strangers, people in need, 
people in other countries

530
00:48:25,803 --> 00:48:27,745
who do not have what we have here

531
00:48:28,416 --> 00:48:31,009
this is what the children 
are needing to learn

532
00:48:31,545 --> 00:48:36,012
that's why there's young people 
asking questions like that

533
00:48:36,858 --> 00:48:38,651
because they have not seen suffering

534
00:48:40,506 --> 00:48:44,686
so sometimes as a young person 
I encourage you to travel to India,

535
00:48:47,216 --> 00:48:52,209
to Laos, to Vietnam, 
to see where we live in

536
00:48:52,955 --> 00:48:54,935
so that's what happened to me in America

537
00:48:55,305 --> 00:48:56,755
I became very closed

538
00:48:57,946 --> 00:49:04,558
so when I traveled, I began to see 
really the suffering in the world

539
00:49:05,344 --> 00:49:08,822
and then that will open 
a new way of looking

540
00:49:09,891 --> 00:49:13,018
so, our view, 
we need to always open more

541
00:49:15,127 --> 00:49:15,928
so I hope

542
00:49:16,549 --> 00:49:23,553
I guess that's my experience of handling 
my emptiness, by more bringing meaning

543
00:49:24,672 --> 00:49:28,486
so please, you're still young 
so really ask your question

544
00:49:28,856 --> 00:49:31,561
what is it that brings meaning to my life?

545
00:49:32,012 --> 00:49:34,224
and it doesn't have to be saving the world

546
00:49:35,097 --> 00:49:39,904
it could be meaning, between your father 
and you, your mother and you

547
00:49:41,540 --> 00:49:44,443
so to reconcile with your father

548
00:49:45,192 --> 00:49:49,294
all of a sudden 
your life is more fulfilling

549
00:49:49,885 --> 00:49:52,529
so when I succeed in something 
it's for my father

550
00:49:54,029 --> 00:49:57,196
you see when I play with the young boy, 
that is my father

551
00:49:58,653 --> 00:50:00,410
so you connect with your father

552
00:50:01,750 --> 00:50:05,083
so it doesn't have to be a grand meaning

553
00:50:05,751 --> 00:50:07,132
it could be very simple

554
00:50:08,958 --> 00:50:11,516
please take care

555
00:50:14,697 --> 00:50:16,034
[gong]

556
00:50:19,330 --> 00:50:27,324
[gong]

557
00:50:47,604 --> 00:50:51,495
Dear respected Thay, 
dear respected teachers, community

558
00:50:54,039 --> 00:50:58,371
I'm trying to make my question 
as clear as possible

559
00:50:59,385 --> 00:51:03,425
but I feel I need 
to explain a bit the situation

560
00:51:05,508 --> 00:51:13,788
my question is about the relationship 
to my sister, and it's very difficult,

561
00:51:14,266 --> 00:51:20,306
she has been suffering from deep 
depression for many, many years now

562
00:51:21,705 --> 00:51:31,806
and a long time I put a lot of effort 
into being active and helping her

563
00:51:32,220 --> 00:51:34,592
which only took me energy

564
00:51:34,879 --> 00:51:40,988
and there was nothing that could help her

565
00:51:41,250 --> 00:51:45,195
and I realized that 
she needs to help herself

566
00:51:45,916 --> 00:51:49,370
and I could only be there, at her side

567
00:51:49,806 --> 00:51:52,347
but she doesn't let me be there.

568
00:51:53,397 --> 00:52:00,141
she doesn't talk to me there 
and at the moment there is no contact

569
00:52:00,522 --> 00:52:06,093
and I feel I'm not happy 
with that situation

570
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:09,057
because I would like to be there for her

571
00:52:09,977 --> 00:52:14,878
and I told her, but she doesn't talk to me

572
00:52:15,252 --> 00:52:20,574
and last winter retreat 
I sent her a letter

573
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:24,953
I tried to practice beginning anew

574
00:52:25,478 --> 00:52:32,526
and I shared with her the relationship 
feels for me and that I wish to change it

575
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:35,929
but I have no ideas anymore

576
00:52:38,061 --> 00:52:44,794
and I asked her if she has any suggestions
how we could have a relationship

577
00:52:44,794 --> 00:52:46,874
how we could talk to each other

578
00:52:48,425 --> 00:52:50,461
and she didn't react

579
00:52:51,853 --> 00:53:01,183
and I sent her a message and I said 
I felt sad that she didn't react

580
00:53:03,255 --> 00:53:07,192
and then she said I'm sorry, 
but I cannot do that

581
00:53:09,427 --> 00:53:14,483
and yeah, since then 
we didn't talk to each other

582
00:53:14,693 --> 00:53:17,114
I guess we both didn't know how to do it

583
00:53:18,705 --> 00:53:24,848
and, so my question is,

584
00:53:25,870 --> 00:53:32,115
if you could recommend any practice for me
that I could do

585
00:53:33,367 --> 00:53:40,281
I would like to practice something like 
loving speech, deep listening, but how,

586
00:53:40,534 --> 00:53:42,404
if there is no contact

587
00:53:43,002 --> 00:53:50,582
and what happened, what I did was, 
trying to be happy myself with my life

588
00:53:51,062 --> 00:53:55,014
but now I feel like, 
how can I be truly happy

589
00:53:56,037 --> 00:54:00,691
if it's only possible 
that I exclude that from my life

590
00:54:00,899 --> 00:54:04,826
it doesn't feel honest, 
doesn't feel right to me

591
00:54:07,739 --> 00:54:10,989
yeah so I guess there are 
two parts about the question

592
00:54:11,185 --> 00:54:15,574
is there something I can do 
I can practice with my sister

593
00:54:16,544 --> 00:54:22,812
or how could I feel less 
selfish and guilty,

594
00:54:23,067 --> 00:54:28,077
feeling letting her behind, alone?

595
00:54:35,881 --> 00:54:41,901
Dear... I do not know, what is your name? 
Antonia? Sonya

596
00:54:42,688 --> 00:54:43,506
Dear Sonya,

597
00:54:45,892 --> 00:54:52,710
if I listen to you and it sounds like 
you have tried many, many things already

598
00:54:53,569 --> 00:54:56,491
you have a very long breath 
and you have not given up

599
00:55:00,500 --> 00:55:04,746
it's not so easy to come 
with a ready answer,

600
00:55:05,437 --> 00:55:08,630
but I think there are 
two aspects in this question.

601
00:55:09,736 --> 00:55:16,261
I think you can look into how, in the 
meantime, you can take care of yourself

602
00:55:17,317 --> 00:55:22,797
that you do not also become like, 
maybe in a depression and so on,

603
00:55:27,526 --> 00:55:32,467
I would say that it's possible 
that we overcome all difficulties

604
00:55:33,935 --> 00:55:36,721
that there's always an end to that

605
00:55:37,104 --> 00:55:40,026
but of course sometimes 
it takes much more energy

606
00:55:40,225 --> 00:55:42,897
and much more time than in other cases

607
00:55:44,868 --> 00:55:48,352
sometimes in difficulty, like a problem 
that you have with your sister

608
00:55:48,786 --> 00:55:52,951
that looks very difficult 
and that you have tried everything

609
00:55:53,652 --> 00:55:55,728
and you cannot come to a solution

610
00:55:57,863 --> 00:56:01,755
I think we can finally overcome 
all difficulties

611
00:56:02,601 --> 00:56:05,307
and that is also exactly 
the way that we grow

612
00:56:05,802 --> 00:56:09,438
if you manage to overcome this difficulty 
and then we can grow

613
00:56:12,974 --> 00:56:15,303
I would like to give an example for myself

614
00:56:17,088 --> 00:56:21,797
a very long time ago, 
I had also a big difficulty I remember

615
00:56:23,819 --> 00:56:26,630
like really big I found that, at the time

616
00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:33,353
I just came to France and 
I was doing a course in France, in French

617
00:56:34,509 --> 00:56:39,745
and it was at a university 
and we were asked to give a presentation

618
00:56:41,308 --> 00:56:46,587
and it was like divided in Dutch people 
and German and French and so on

619
00:56:47,247 --> 00:56:51,211
and we were only with the two of us,
the only two Dutch women

620
00:56:52,734 --> 00:56:56,557
so it was a kind of 'be-in' or <i>bonte avond</i>

621
00:56:57,689 --> 00:57:02,126
and we had decided to give a presentation
on how to make Dutch pancakes

622
00:57:03,604 --> 00:57:06,213
and a woman with whom I was 
she said very quickly

623
00:57:06,413 --> 00:57:10,730
okay I will bake the pancakes here behind 
and you are going to stand in front

624
00:57:11,823 --> 00:57:17,948
and I had to explain in French how we were
doing that in Holland, to bake pancakes

625
00:57:19,974 --> 00:57:22,026
well it was for me the very first time

626
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:26,536
it was just after, after college 
that I came here in France

627
00:57:27,364 --> 00:57:32,267
so I had never given a presentation 
like that and not at all in French

628
00:57:35,574 --> 00:57:37,352
I will speak a little bit slower

629
00:57:39,078 --> 00:57:42,602
but I remember 
that I was standing over there

630
00:57:42,980 --> 00:57:47,410
and while explaining, 
that my legs came to tremble

631
00:57:48,248 --> 00:57:52,191
and not a little bit , 
but they started to tremble enormously

632
00:57:53,304 --> 00:57:57,238
and I was standing there in front 
and I did not know how to stop this

633
00:57:59,463 --> 00:58:01,315
was really like very badly

634
00:58:02,132 --> 00:58:03,925
I did not manage on that evening

635
00:58:04,176 --> 00:58:07,332
and I had a very unpleasant 
feeling about it

636
00:58:07,859 --> 00:58:13,436
and it has also afforded me 
to come out again later

637
00:58:13,761 --> 00:58:16,806
because I was afraid 
that the same thing would happen again

638
00:58:17,071 --> 00:58:18,745
and that I could not survive.

639
00:58:22,159 --> 00:58:25,821
later on I have survived and 
now I'm sitting here on this chair

640
00:58:26,077 --> 00:58:28,685
and I'm still, I'm still alive

641
00:58:29,176 --> 00:58:33,130
so it is possible 
to overcome very difficult things

642
00:58:35,614 --> 00:58:38,848
I think for yourself, and in this meantime

643
00:58:39,982 --> 00:58:42,781
you have to take good care of yourself

644
00:58:43,088 --> 00:58:47,563
and that you will need a lot of joy 
like a counterbalance to that

645
00:58:48,256 --> 00:58:50,355
the depression of your sister

646
00:58:51,516 --> 00:58:58,283
so maybe you can do something 
to have more joy

647
00:58:59,625 --> 00:59:02,209
and it can be like going out or

648
00:59:04,312 --> 00:59:09,078
go into the nature, maybe you have to move
or do another study

649
00:59:09,187 --> 00:59:14,232
or just you know something like a move, 
like a change in your life

650
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:16,762
that can bring you more happiness

651
00:59:17,467 --> 00:59:18,748
and what is happening then

652
00:59:18,896 --> 00:59:24,721
if you have much more happiness, then
something's happening here in your head

653
00:59:25,017 --> 00:59:29,257
now it sounds like it's quite full with 
this whole difficulty with your sister

654
00:59:29,989 --> 00:59:32,812
and you're going to make 
a little bit of space for this

655
00:59:34,179 --> 00:59:37,258
I think it will go away a little bit

656
00:59:37,995 --> 00:59:41,518
you will send your energy 
not anymore to the difficulty in your head

657
00:59:42,194 --> 00:59:44,942
but more to the things that you plan to do

658
00:59:45,907 --> 00:59:47,640
so please try to focus on that

659
00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:50,572
bring some air, 
some freshness into your life

660
00:59:51,141 --> 00:59:52,099
more joy

661
00:59:53,200 --> 01:00:04,311
and I think you will be more capable 
of trying to overcome this difficulty

662
01:00:05,573 --> 01:00:07,378
so this is the aspect for yourself

663
01:00:07,654 --> 01:00:10,773
please nourish your joy 
and happiness every day

664
01:00:11,494 --> 01:00:13,051
take good care of it.

665
01:00:19,397 --> 01:00:22,878
The second part is 
the relationship with your sister.

666
01:00:23,161 --> 01:00:27,062
It looks like you have done 
many things already

667
01:00:28,661 --> 01:00:32,076
you have come to her, 
you have spoken with her

668
01:00:33,516 --> 01:00:37,185
and she did not want to speak with you 
anymore, you have written a letter

669
01:00:37,735 --> 01:00:44,891
that is our practice, we try to write 
a letter, we call it a love letter

670
01:00:45,752 --> 01:00:48,525
if it is difficult 
to communicate with somebody

671
01:00:49,927 --> 01:00:54,075
we can put in a letter 
how we love the other person

672
01:00:57,909 --> 01:01:06,773
maybe some qualities of her, 
you can also put souvenirs in this letter,

673
01:01:07,980 --> 01:01:09,527
souvenirs from the past

674
01:01:11,536 --> 01:01:13,502
maybe you have done many things together

675
01:01:13,690 --> 01:01:15,178
I do not know about her age,

676
01:01:15,344 --> 01:01:18,500
if there's a big difference in age 
between you and your sister

677
01:01:19,293 --> 01:01:21,901
maybe you have done many things 
together in the past 


678
01:01:22,152 --> 01:01:25,492
and you had a lot of joy and fun 
and adventures

679
01:01:26,153 --> 01:01:28,379
so you can recall that in the letter

680
01:01:30,098 --> 01:01:34,306
nice things that you've done together 
and that you have very good memories about

681
01:01:35,468 --> 01:01:39,085
that can help her, 
that can help her to overcome this...

682
01:01:40,075 --> 01:01:42,690
it sounds like she's very 
sad and depressed,

683
01:01:43,030 --> 01:01:45,552
to overcome, to lift up her mood

684
01:01:48,657 --> 01:01:53,269
you said you have tried it already 
but maybe you have to try a second time

685
01:01:53,985 --> 01:02:00,852
if I was you, as long as there is 
no communication, no oral communication,

686
01:02:02,777 --> 01:02:07,147
to keep writing her 
and maybe to try with a different letter

687
01:02:13,271 --> 01:02:21,023
[gong]

688
01:02:55,247 --> 01:02:57,315
So dear Sonia, I just continue

689
01:02:57,804 --> 01:03:04,232
and so I would like to encourage you 
to keep going on with writing

690
01:03:04,493 --> 01:03:05,966
maybe an other letter

691
01:03:06,905 --> 01:03:09,684
in the style that I just have painted

692
01:03:10,692 --> 01:03:13,872
with her qualities, 
with sweet memories and so on

693
01:03:14,169 --> 01:03:17,338
maybe for yourself in the beginning 
it's difficult to write this

694
01:03:17,676 --> 01:03:21,600
because you have done already 
and no result up until now

695
01:03:22,137 --> 01:03:26,951
but you will see, if you really take time 
to write a letter like this,

696
01:03:27,078 --> 01:03:31,487
like a whole afternoon, you lock yourself 
in a room with chocolates,

697
01:03:31,915 --> 01:03:35,592
and you do not come out of the room 
before you have finished this letter

698
01:03:36,189 --> 01:03:42,352
and then you go, you will notice 
by writing down all those good memories

699
01:03:42,502 --> 01:03:46,495
that you have of her, you know, 
that something will change in you

700
01:03:46,881 --> 01:03:50,515
something will change in you and 
you'll feel a lot of compassion for her

701
01:03:51,105 --> 01:03:56,390
and this compassion, she will taste 
from the letter she's going to receive

702
01:03:57,944 --> 01:04:00,152
so please do not give up

703
01:04:00,333 --> 01:04:04,269
I really would like to you 
to continue with her, keeping contact

704
01:04:04,422 --> 01:04:11,605
and maybe in this way, 
and maybe later she's going to respond

705
01:04:11,932 --> 01:04:17,804
I think you have to water this, 
water this and keeping contact every day

706
01:04:18,246 --> 01:04:19,284
and in the meantime,

707
01:04:19,662 --> 01:04:21,363
take good care for yourself

708
01:04:21,552 --> 01:04:25,938
and that you do not lose hope 
or that you become desperate

709
01:04:28,254 --> 01:04:29,102
thank you

710
01:04:42,319 --> 01:04:45,241
I'm just gonna share that, you know,

711
01:04:45,326 --> 01:04:49,369
when we, the monks and nuns, are 
up here for a question-and-answer session

712
01:04:49,817 --> 01:04:52,848
we are all human beings 
and we all have our own experience

713
01:04:54,053 --> 01:04:57,079
so we shouldn't mistake 
when we give an answer

714
01:04:57,333 --> 01:04:59,141
that it is like the absolute truth

715
01:05:00,558 --> 01:05:04,960
we are sharing from our heart, 
from our own experience as human beings

716
01:05:05,352 --> 01:05:10,037
just as we all have the opportunity to do 
while we're here this week

717
01:05:10,323 --> 01:05:13,576
so we don't need to think 
that one answer is is absolutely

718
01:05:14,185 --> 01:05:15,221
the only one

719
01:05:15,630 --> 01:05:18,186
and there's all beautiful experiences

720
01:05:18,594 --> 01:05:23,071
personal experiences that we have here 
and that's all we're here to offer

721
01:05:24,517 --> 01:05:26,183
so thank you for your question

722
01:05:35,418 --> 01:05:37,495
So there's a few written questions,

723
01:05:37,765 --> 01:05:41,560
I kind of grouped them on similar topic

724
01:05:42,129 --> 01:05:47,198
so the first one is "dear sister, brother,

725
01:05:47,506 --> 01:05:51,979
may you please share with us about 
the practice of mindfulness at work"

726
01:05:53,977 --> 01:05:57,446
and "please could you talk 
about the organization of time"

727
01:06:01,998 --> 01:06:09,561
"in my life I always live 
in a quick speed mode.

728
01:06:10,697 --> 01:06:13,879
although I practice meditation everyday 
and I breathe consciously

729
01:06:15,415 --> 01:06:19,951
I'm still living in a hurry because I have
too much work in this time of my life

730
01:06:20,985 --> 01:06:22,608
thanks a lot, a lotus for you"

731
01:06:38,379 --> 01:06:39,678
Dear Thay, dear Sangha,

732
01:06:41,879 --> 01:06:44,602
I grew up in America,

733
01:06:45,060 --> 01:06:51,108
educated and worked as a architect 
for four years before meeting Thay

734
01:06:52,892 --> 01:06:59,487
and so you know the whole system 
of having a job and work

735
01:06:59,825 --> 01:07:02,106
is the whole education system too,

736
01:07:03,199 --> 01:07:09,993
and please know this is a very biased 
answer so please take it lightly

737
01:07:11,827 --> 01:07:16,154
I chose to leave all that,
so it's very biased okay

738
01:07:17,074 --> 01:07:24,821
so, we dream to always run after time
as if we don't have enough

739
01:07:26,472 --> 01:07:28,145
yesterday was lazy day

740
01:07:29,033 --> 01:07:32,435
lazy days that is one of Thay's...

741
01:07:34,713 --> 01:07:40,750
was it technics up, was it a shot you take
so you don't get sick?

742
01:07:43,842 --> 01:07:47,253
it's a kind of a lazy day, it's a real...

743
01:07:48,900 --> 01:07:50,952
one time the monks came to Thay

744
01:07:51,123 --> 01:07:54,916
because we heard 
a lot of people don't like the word lazy

745
01:07:55,493 --> 01:07:57,989
and we asked Thay, Thay can you change,

746
01:07:59,099 --> 01:08:04,264
can we change the word lazy to, maybe,
rest day or something more...

747
01:08:04,941 --> 01:08:09,986
because people feel lazy you know,

748
01:08:10,666 --> 01:08:13,892
and Thay said: 
"Don't ever change the world lazy"

749
01:08:15,105 --> 01:08:17,283
I've never heard Thay so strong

750
01:08:17,472 --> 01:08:23,195
he said because people feel guilty 
to be lazy and he said that's good

751
01:08:23,910 --> 01:08:25,839
they should need to look at their guilt

752
01:08:26,099 --> 01:08:32,313
because the society is over developed 
over, over productive, right?

753
01:08:32,874 --> 01:08:34,401
so we think we're advanced,

754
01:08:34,401 --> 01:08:38,338
our culture is developed right

755
01:08:39,310 --> 01:08:43,224
but I think now it's another way 
of looking we're over developed

756
01:08:44,176 --> 01:08:48,068
and we're not looking down at those 
other southern countries and nations

757
01:08:48,312 --> 01:08:49,906
saying they're underdeveloped

758
01:08:50,139 --> 01:08:51,388
in fact they're fine

759
01:08:52,219 --> 01:08:54,237
we're going there to develop them

760
01:08:55,331 --> 01:08:58,832
and we're making them lose 
a lot of their environment

761
01:08:59,627 --> 01:09:01,346
so in a way we have to relook

762
01:09:02,132 --> 01:09:08,797
we are overworked, we're over developed, 
we are over timed over schedule

763
01:09:10,228 --> 01:09:12,500
every time I visit my family nowadays

764
01:09:12,775 --> 01:09:18,786
I hardly can squeeze off some time 
from my niece and nephew

765
01:09:19,094 --> 01:09:26,213
because they go to soccer and the 
Saturday piano and ballet on Sunday

766
01:09:26,728 --> 01:09:32,053
I mean even the weekend, 
the mother has to run to take them to

767
01:09:32,261 --> 01:09:36,338
and I have to go with them because 
I want to be with my niece and nephew

768
01:09:37,176 --> 01:09:38,636
and I watch them play soccer

769
01:09:39,548 --> 01:09:43,236
it's good you know 
to have activity for the kids

770
01:09:44,365 --> 01:09:48,686
but it's a little bit over, over worked,
over,

771
01:09:48,763 --> 01:09:50,658
I think you know what I mean

772
01:09:50,658 --> 01:09:52,520
that's probably why you're here right?

773
01:09:54,337 --> 01:09:57,562
so I don't have to try 
to convince an orange that it's an orange

774
01:09:59,667 --> 01:10:05,500
so... for working 
we also need to look at the way

775
01:10:05,500 --> 01:10:11,520
we do need to work, we're not all lazy
it's only one day of the seven day

776
01:10:12,624 --> 01:10:16,085
and so when we work, 
we have to reorient ourselves

777
01:10:17,369 --> 01:10:18,569
like washing the dishes

778
01:10:19,514 --> 01:10:20,262
you know

779
01:10:20,262 --> 01:10:25,247
one day somebody will propose, why doesn't
Plum Village buy a big washing machine,

780
01:10:25,656 --> 01:10:29,060
and it could get done quickly, right?

781
01:10:29,282 --> 01:10:32,736
no buckets and cleaning 
and then give it to the kid

782
01:10:33,068 --> 01:10:36,592
to take it, to put it in the thing 
and it's a lot of work, right?

783
01:10:37,357 --> 01:10:39,977
you need 20 people to wash a few dishes

784
01:10:41,548 --> 01:10:45,502
but there's enjoyment 
while we wash the dishes

785
01:10:46,605 --> 01:10:49,751
it's kind of like a waste of time,
God, get it over with

786
01:10:50,758 --> 01:10:53,103
so why do we make you wash dishes?

787
01:10:53,798 --> 01:10:55,144
we could buy a machine, right?

788
01:10:57,911 --> 01:10:58,655
same thing,

789
01:10:58,655 --> 01:11:05,187
convenience can sometimes actually 
diminish your enjoyment, your happiness

790
01:11:06,084 --> 01:11:07,267
so this is work,


791
01:11:08,426 --> 01:11:12,642
this is just like the meditation hall,
we had a discussion yesterday

792
01:11:12,642 --> 01:11:16,012
about working in the meditation hall 
and not rushing

793
01:11:17,418 --> 01:11:20,757
because maybe there's not enough time 
and we have to catch the bus,

794
01:11:22,030 --> 01:11:26,453
so sometimes you know reality 
you have to do it and you have to rush

795
01:11:27,056 --> 01:11:31,185
but your attitude is...
it depends on your mental attitude

796
01:11:32,610 --> 01:11:37,709
you do it and some people do have habits
and there are different levels of rushing

797
01:11:37,977 --> 01:11:40,895
there's some people who rush 
it looks like they're rushing

798
01:11:41,316 --> 01:11:42,428
but they're not rushing

799
01:11:44,047 --> 01:11:46,771
some people, it looks like 
they're really doing it slow

800
01:11:47,174 --> 01:11:48,338
but they are rushing

801
01:11:48,990 --> 01:11:50,549
this is a my experience

802
01:11:51,460 --> 01:11:54,584
there's a lot of, ... 
how come you're not doing it right?

803
01:11:55,676 --> 01:11:58,335
how come they're not doing it mindfully?

804
01:11:58,936 --> 01:12:02,124
you look like you're doing mindfully 
but that's not really mindful

805
01:12:03,433 --> 01:12:04,911
so you have to be careful

806
01:12:05,075 --> 01:12:09,619
some people can do a lot of work 
and look like they're rushing

807
01:12:10,468 --> 01:12:13,320
but their mental attitude is enjoyment

808
01:12:13,431 --> 01:12:16,063
they're doing it for others so it depends

809
01:12:16,441 --> 01:12:19,344
you're washing the dishes 
you're doing it for the community

810
01:12:20,276 --> 01:12:21,620
you're doing a carrot

811
01:12:23,399 --> 01:12:27,044
you're doing it for the community, 
for other people to eat

812
01:12:28,196 --> 01:12:30,399
but you know you don't have to do it like

813
01:12:31,631 --> 01:12:33,442
peel the carrot like this, you know

814
01:12:35,975 --> 01:12:38,874
that means you're stuck with an idea

815
01:12:40,623 --> 01:12:44,083
so work doesn't mean...
so we have to be very careful

816
01:12:44,281 --> 01:12:48,089
mindfulness at work, we have to be careful

817
01:12:49,377 --> 01:12:52,253
so of course you know 
take a break on the computer

818
01:12:52,670 --> 01:12:53,649
and so many things

819
01:12:53,815 --> 01:12:56,298
you have to use your mindfulness, 
your intelligence

820
01:12:58,463 --> 01:13:02,651
to find a balance in yourself, 
to not lose yourself in the work

821
01:13:03,281 --> 01:13:05,358
so how you sit 
on the front of the computer

822
01:13:05,896 --> 01:13:09,936
how you brew brush 
so look at the way you work

823
01:13:10,435 --> 01:13:12,914
so that's just the mechanics of work okay

824
01:13:13,391 --> 01:13:15,386
and there's also the meaning of work

825
01:13:16,252 --> 01:13:18,507
so also we have to look 
at why you're working

826
01:13:19,192 --> 01:13:20,483
what are you working for

827
01:13:21,215 --> 01:13:23,281
you want more money, you want more

828
01:13:23,707 --> 01:13:28,395
you have an idea, you want a bigger house,
you want a retirement plan,

829
01:13:28,537 --> 01:13:30,156
these ideas you have to look at

830
01:13:30,441 --> 01:13:34,728
that's maybe pushing you 
to sacrifice the present moment

831
01:13:36,328 --> 01:13:37,592
for the future, you see?

832
01:13:38,338 --> 01:13:39,764
so we need to look at this

833
01:13:39,940 --> 01:13:42,901
this is what I had to wake up from

834
01:13:44,095 --> 01:13:46,434
9:00 to 5:00 retirement plan

835
01:13:47,542 --> 01:13:53,656
two garage house a nice family 
and you know these kind of

836
01:13:54,506 --> 01:13:57,342
what do they call it, American, 
America dream

837
01:13:58,995 --> 01:14:00,916
is this still called the American dream?

838
01:14:02,551 --> 01:14:05,125
so these are things, with the practice,

839
01:14:05,479 --> 01:14:08,254
with the deep looking, 
we begin to look at work

840
01:14:09,402 --> 01:14:12,983
so I'm sharing is also 
the meaning while you work

841
01:14:13,255 --> 01:14:17,567
and it is also looking 
at our relationship with the watch

842
01:14:18,587 --> 01:14:20,593
with your planner, your schedule

843
01:14:20,593 --> 01:14:22,155
these are things that you learn

844
01:14:22,725 --> 01:14:25,381
and we become very mechanical

845
01:14:26,543 --> 01:14:29,181
and we don't know why we do it

846
01:14:29,402 --> 01:14:32,194
we just wake up, do it, do it, do it

847
01:14:32,750 --> 01:14:34,287
and so we need to look at this

848
01:14:34,627 --> 01:14:38,896
so find time, 
so I encourage all the families, everyone

849
01:14:39,288 --> 01:14:40,954
to, you know, reduce a little bit

850
01:14:42,320 --> 01:14:48,382
you don't need to have everything, 
just enough

851
01:14:49,520 --> 01:14:53,909
and if you do succeed, 
use that to help other people

852
01:14:55,114 --> 01:14:58,147
and that will bring 
more meaning to your work

853
01:14:58,693 --> 01:15:02,158
you see that the cycle 
it needs to go in circle like this

854
01:15:03,282 --> 01:15:05,914
you know the system now 
is very capitalistic

855
01:15:06,171 --> 01:15:08,265
to save, save, save, hold everything

856
01:15:08,886 --> 01:15:11,030
and you see, 
there's only a certain amount

857
01:15:11,541 --> 01:15:14,857
and after that, 
the happiness don't increase

858
01:15:15,700 --> 01:15:18,014
I think more and more we know that, right?

859
01:15:18,619 --> 01:15:24,709
after 10 shirts that you have, it's become
very hm, another shirt, another shirt

860
01:15:25,740 --> 01:15:28,539
so please know why you're working

861
01:15:28,693 --> 01:15:33,879
and how much you should work 
to maintain kind of enough for your family

862
01:15:34,233 --> 01:15:38,594
so that you don't sacrifice 
your present moment, happiness

863
01:15:38,782 --> 01:15:42,005
with your family, with your loved one, 
with helping other people

864
01:15:42,912 --> 01:15:46,968
so your time is not just to...,
you should spend meaningfully

865
01:15:47,218 --> 01:15:50,053
to help other people, 
to help your friends,

866
01:15:50,166 --> 01:15:53,670
your relatives, your brothers 
and sisters, other families

867
01:15:55,315 --> 01:16:00,227
so you might have work 
that might not be the most meaningful

868
01:16:00,899 --> 01:16:04,197
but it pays your thing 
and then you take the money

869
01:16:04,398 --> 01:16:06,782
you take some of the time 
and you help, you see

870
01:16:07,693 --> 01:16:14,411
so don't try to always, you have to find 
the work that is the most meaningful

871
01:16:15,211 --> 01:16:17,490
in fact the meaning is 
what you put into it

872
01:16:18,269 --> 01:16:20,378
so you could be a bus driver

873
01:16:21,208 --> 01:16:23,177
and you could be a very good bus driver

874
01:16:24,240 --> 01:16:28,215
if you remove the idea that you have 
to be a successful businessperson

875
01:16:29,507 --> 01:16:30,420
you see the work

876
01:16:31,300 --> 01:16:34,311
you enjoy washing your dishes, 
driving the bus

877
01:16:35,243 --> 01:16:40,282
so it's all based 
on the quality of your attitude

878
01:16:41,151 --> 01:16:42,724
and you can always learn more

879
01:16:44,054 --> 01:16:44,845
thank you

880
01:16:48,630 --> 01:16:49,343
[gong]

881
01:16:51,849 --> 01:17:00,523
[gong]

882
01:17:20,776 --> 01:17:25,673
<i>(in Japanese)</i>

883
01:17:39,817 --> 01:17:42,488
dear Thay, dear brothers 
and sisters, dear friends

884
01:17:44,588 --> 01:17:45,685
he asked the question

885
01:17:46,669 --> 01:17:52,211
is there any condition 
to make people satisfied

886
01:17:52,490 --> 01:17:53,750
and then become happy

887
01:17:54,357 --> 01:17:59,025
is there any conditions 
that can make people satisfied

888
01:17:59,320 --> 01:18:00,524
and they feel happy

889
01:18:22,671 --> 01:18:29,391
Dear Thay, dear... what's your name? 
Ray? dear Ray,

890
01:18:30,616 --> 01:18:33,236
<i>arigato</i> for your question

891
01:18:40,849 --> 01:18:44,632
so this question is very important

892
01:18:46,748 --> 01:18:52,318
and we know the Buddha 
sat with this question as well

893
01:18:55,494 --> 01:19:01,147
he asked himself is there any 
condition for my fulfillment

894
01:19:01,920 --> 01:19:03,619
for my complete happiness

895
01:19:05,899 --> 01:19:13,624
and at that time 
he had a wife and he had a child

896
01:19:15,456 --> 01:19:19,193
and he had a pretty good career

897
01:19:19,676 --> 01:19:23,791
maybe he was gonna be 
the chief of his village, like his father

898
01:19:27,538 --> 01:19:29,672
so he seemed to have many good conditions

899
01:19:31,563 --> 01:19:34,729
that most people spend their whole life 
trying to obtain

900
01:19:37,763 --> 01:19:40,028
thinking that that will 
bring them happiness

901
01:19:41,262 --> 01:19:42,443
and yet he wasn't happy

902
01:19:44,693 --> 01:19:46,748
and that's why we're all here today

903
01:19:48,192 --> 01:19:55,601
because he saw that those conditions 
were not sufficient for his happiness,

904
01:19:56,123 --> 01:19:57,316
for his true happiness

905
01:19:59,841 --> 01:20:04,326
and so he decided 
to leave behind his family

906
01:20:05,187 --> 01:20:06,409
to cut his hair

907
01:20:08,165 --> 01:20:10,942
and to live in the forest

908
01:20:12,950 --> 01:20:16,728
he tried looking 
for roots in the ground to eat

909
01:20:19,356 --> 01:20:22,112
he went to live 
in different spiritual communities

910
01:20:22,661 --> 01:20:24,514
and he always sat with that question

911
01:20:25,275 --> 01:20:26,892
how can I find true happiness?

912
01:20:27,894 --> 01:20:31,560
or another way to phrase is, 
why is there suffering?

913
01:20:32,638 --> 01:20:35,580
what is the nature of this suffering?

914
01:20:38,475 --> 01:20:40,923
and our teacher Thay,

915
01:20:41,147 --> 01:20:45,449
he often talked about the happiness 
and suffering like the sides of a coin

916
01:20:46,338 --> 01:20:49,077
you cannot have happiness 
without suffering

917
01:20:50,032 --> 01:20:54,756
you cannot even imagine suffering 
without happiness

918
01:20:55,036 --> 01:20:56,363
they inter are

919
01:20:58,483 --> 01:21:03,508
it means that, looking into our situation 
of suffering, we can find happiness

920
01:21:05,368 --> 01:21:08,146
so you could say that suffering 
is a kind of condition

921
01:21:09,022 --> 01:21:11,422
that can lead us to happiness

922
01:21:20,324 --> 01:21:24,624
actually as monks and nuns I know myself 
and many of my brothers and sisters

923
01:21:24,758 --> 01:21:26,224
we also ask this question

924
01:21:27,996 --> 01:21:31,991
because actually we can get quite 
comfortable as a monk or nun

925
01:21:34,140 --> 01:21:39,027
you see, here in Plum Village we eat 
delicious vegetarian food

926
01:21:40,643 --> 01:21:44,768
and we live with many people 
who are very understanding

927
01:21:46,000 --> 01:21:47,547
very compassionate very kind

928
01:21:48,246 --> 01:21:49,818
smiling a lot

929
01:21:51,428 --> 01:21:54,423
and we don't have to do too much work

930
01:21:57,943 --> 01:22:00,711
at least we don't get fired 
if we don't do too much work

931
01:22:08,638 --> 01:22:12,598
so, actually many people come here 
because they think

932
01:22:12,598 --> 01:22:15,332
wow, these are good conditions 
for me to be happy

933
01:22:17,946 --> 01:22:19,040
and then

934
01:22:21,614 --> 01:22:24,008
and then they find out 
they have to live together

935
01:22:25,568 --> 01:22:28,886
with other people 
for the rest of their life

936
01:22:38,595 --> 01:22:41,612
and they start saying why? 
look at Thay, Thay teaches this

937
01:22:41,612 --> 01:22:46,290
but look, look... they look and they say..

938
01:22:46,613 --> 01:22:50,613
and so, somehow, even if they have 
all these good conditions

939
01:22:51,375 --> 01:22:58,708
of good food, place to sleep, 
go to the doctor if they're sick

940
01:22:59,457 --> 01:23:01,014
but they still are not happy

941
01:23:02,329 --> 01:23:05,993
they're not able to live together 
with their brothers and sisters

942
01:23:06,994 --> 01:23:10,913
and that is a pity

943
01:23:13,316 --> 01:23:15,428
and so we have to sometimes look and see

944
01:23:18,094 --> 01:23:21,769
is my happiness dependent 
on outside conditions?

945
01:23:23,001 --> 01:23:24,286
even here in Plum Village

946
01:23:25,215 --> 01:23:27,277
we have to ask ourselves because we have..

947
01:23:27,923 --> 01:23:31,415
you know monks and nuns, they haven't 
always enjoyed such good conditions

948
01:23:31,882 --> 01:23:35,576
as we have in Plum Village to practice

949
01:23:36,263 --> 01:23:42,610
sometimes they lived 
in a very authoritarian regime

950
01:23:43,296 --> 01:23:47,264
where they wanted to destroy 
the Buddhist temples

951
01:23:48,139 --> 01:23:51,000
they wanted to make the monks and nuns 
marry each other

952
01:23:51,376 --> 01:23:53,868
to give up the celibate life

953
01:23:55,017 --> 01:23:58,027
that happened many times 
in history of Buddhism

954
01:23:58,167 --> 01:24:01,166
and that continues to happen 
today, in some places

955
01:24:03,864 --> 01:24:06,693
and so even in those conditions,

956
01:24:07,063 --> 01:24:10,789
those monks and nuns were able 
to touch deep happiness

957
01:24:11,589 --> 01:24:17,274
even like, I remember always a story of 
one of Thay's students who was put in jail

958
01:24:19,099 --> 01:24:26,533
She only had a little bit of space, and 
she practiced walking meditation every day

959
01:24:27,299 --> 01:24:29,790
just breathing, and being with her step

960
01:24:31,058 --> 01:24:33,800
and she was able to generate happiness

961
01:24:34,735 --> 01:24:37,986
even just in that tiny space 
with only a little food to eat

962
01:24:38,898 --> 01:24:42,451
she kept her mind clear 
and she enjoyed every step

963
01:24:43,538 --> 01:24:46,675
and so anytime that I feel 
that I'm a little bit upset

964
01:24:46,835 --> 01:24:49,856
because my conditions of happiness 
are not sufficient

965
01:24:50,232 --> 01:24:53,187
then I remember that nun, 
practicing in the jail

966
01:24:54,051 --> 01:24:55,877
and I feel a little bit of shame

967
01:24:56,562 --> 01:25:00,064
how could I be so greedy

968
01:25:03,112 --> 01:25:09,898
and that helps me to remove 
the external conditions of happiness

969
01:25:10,983 --> 01:25:17,913
and to see that actually I can generate 
a kind of unconditioned happiness

970
01:25:20,643 --> 01:25:25,133
something that's not dependent 
on external or even internal conditions

971
01:25:27,348 --> 01:25:28,759
and sometimes we touch that

972
01:25:28,997 --> 01:25:30,376
that is a beautiful moment

973
01:25:30,605 --> 01:25:33,603
when you touch that 
you need to remember it

974
01:25:33,603 --> 01:25:35,937
maybe you stop and you take 12 breaths

975
01:25:38,161 --> 01:25:40,710
my happiness has not come from anywhere

976
01:25:42,215 --> 01:25:44,900
and my happiness is not going anywhere

977
01:25:46,500 --> 01:25:48,308
there are moments like that in life

978
01:25:49,725 --> 01:25:54,041
and in my experience, 
when we practice they become more and more

979
01:25:54,727 --> 01:25:56,636
and bigger and longer

980
01:25:57,335 --> 01:25:59,438
and that's why I love the practice so much

981
01:26:00,256 --> 01:26:03,011
because touching this kind 
of unconditioned happiness

982
01:26:05,141 --> 01:26:06,292
but it takes practice

983
01:26:06,824 --> 01:26:10,984
because we are conditioned 
to like conditioning

984
01:26:12,541 --> 01:26:15,547
we are conditioned to like our habits

985
01:26:15,927 --> 01:26:19,888
even people condition themselves 
to like their own suffering

986
01:26:20,865 --> 01:26:21,871
can you imagine that?

987
01:26:22,932 --> 01:26:25,672
they fall in love with their own 
situation of suffering

988
01:26:27,324 --> 01:26:31,259
and when you want to help them to come 
out of it, they prefer to stay there

989
01:26:33,123 --> 01:26:39,352
and that is a funny quality 
of human beings

990
01:26:41,660 --> 01:26:45,805
so keep that question, 
it's a beautiful question

991
01:26:47,121 --> 01:26:48,138
like the Buddha

992
01:26:48,557 --> 01:26:55,617
you can be a Buddha and ask, 
what is this unconditioned happiness?

993
01:26:56,386 --> 01:26:58,026
keep asking yourself that question

994
01:26:58,396 --> 01:26:59,706
you look at your suffering

995
01:27:02,816 --> 01:27:06,019
you see it transform and you hold it there

996
01:27:06,493 --> 01:27:07,614
it's very beautiful

997
01:27:08,926 --> 01:27:11,647
that's the secret of the universe, okay?

998
01:27:13,282 --> 01:27:14,102
good luck

999
01:27:21,458 --> 01:27:23,998
dear friends it's quarter after 11

1000
01:27:24,907 --> 01:27:29,224
and we have a beautiful walk 
for the community today

1001
01:27:29,391 --> 01:27:33,312
to go down to Son Ha 
and enjoy the garden there

1002
01:27:33,572 --> 01:27:34,782
and maybe some music

1003
01:27:35,509 --> 01:27:39,087
so we know there are other 
questions to be asked

1004
01:27:39,319 --> 01:27:43,809
and we encourage you to bring the 
question up in your Dharma sharing group

1005
01:27:44,520 --> 01:27:47,605
if you feel courageous enough

1006
01:27:48,419 --> 01:27:52,411
there are also wonderful other monks 
and nuns who can share their experience

1007
01:27:52,722 --> 01:27:55,317
and help with the question

1008
01:27:55,493 --> 01:27:59,233
there are also a number of written 
questions we didn't get to

1009
01:28:00,036 --> 01:28:04,782
I will give them to the brother or sister 
giving the Dharma talk tomorrow

1010
01:28:05,155 --> 01:28:06,722
so they can keep it in mind

1011
01:28:08,618 --> 01:28:12,981
and hopefully be able to 
answer the question in the talk tomorrow

1012
01:28:13,638 --> 01:28:17,271
so I'd like to thank my elder brothers 
and sisters for coming up here today

1013
01:28:17,851 --> 01:28:19,290
and sharing their experience

1014
01:28:19,568 --> 01:28:22,552
and thank you all, for we do this together

1015
01:28:22,810 --> 01:28:25,169
this is a process of deep looking 
and we continue

1016
01:28:25,395 --> 01:28:31,845
as we finish the last two days 
of this third week together

1017
01:28:33,149 --> 01:28:35,895
we will finish by listening 
to three sounds of the Bell