[gong]
Dear respected Thay, dear sisters and brothers
welcome to the Q&A session of the third week of summer retreat
I feel very honored to be here with my big brother and sisters.
On the panel today we have Thay Phap Dung,
he is born in Vietnam
but he studied in the United States to become an architect.
He's one of our elder brothers here in Plum Village
Sister Lang Nghiem is also born in Vietnam but studied in the United States,
and sister Lan Nghiem is coming from Holland
she spent much of her adult life in France,
and I'm brother Phap Luu,
I come from the United States and I live here for maybe, 15 years.
So we have a chance for you, the children, the teens, the parents,
to come up here and ask the question of your heart.
We know that when we look deeply into ourselves
and we see that something's burning inside, some questions,
something we need the community and our brothers and sisters to look into,
then we can stand up and come up here and ask that question of our heart.
It's not an intellectual question, something we can look up on Wikipedia,
but something that is really about our daily life
and the suffering and happiness of our practice.
And a good question doesn't have to be long.
So we'll start with the children
and then invite some questions from the teens and the young people
and then from the adults.
And if you feel a little bit shy to come up here,
then you can write down your question on a piece of paper
and try to get it to the Bell master and he will bring it to us.
So we might take some written questions as well.
So we'll start with the children,
are there any questions from the children?
Yes? You want to come up here?
We'll take maybe three or maximum four questions from the children.
Please come up.
If you speak English, or French,
you can ask your question in that language, and we'll try to translate
and if you ask your question in another language
if you can bring a translator with you, that would be very helpful.
so we can listen to a sound of the Bell,
come back to our breathing and then we'll have our first question
[gong]
Lieve broeders en zusters, mijn vraag is: Wat betekent niets?
Wat is niks?
[translation by a person in the room]
So I'll just repeat the question so that everyone can hear.
She asked the question:
Dear brothers and sisters, what is nothing?
What does nothing mean?
I invite Thay Phap Dung,
I think Thay Phap Dung is very good about talking about nothing.
I don't know what happened this summer
but more and more children are becoming philosophical.
I see my brothers and sister last two weeks up here,
meeting young philosophers
We use our language, like the word 'nothing', to describe many things, right?
When we practice, we learn to look deeply and not get caught in the word 'nothing'.
Sometimes we use the word 'nothing'
to describe when something is not seen anymore,
the food on your plate,
you finish eating, you eat everything on your plate
and then you say there's nothing on the plate, right?
So we use the word 'nothing' to describe when we don't see something.
Sometimes we have a cup, right?
You say, there's tea in that cup
and there's nothing in the cup, right,
but is there something else in the cup?
Air, right!
So you can say there's nothing, but then you can say there is something,
right?
So we have to be very careful when we use a word,
nothing,
and don't let it stop you
from questioning the meaning of the word, you understand?
I believe your question is very, you want to understand
and please continue to ask that question, okay?
Well your plate is empty and you say there's nothing on the plate,
and where did it go?
That something, the food.
Right, so the food comes into your stomach,
it goes, and it doesn't become nothing.
So nothing and something have a relationship, right?
Like, there's nothing, but there's also something.
So when you ask, there is nothing
you have to ask, what is it, that is nothing of.
So it doesn't really disappear but maybe we don't see it,
you understand?
So when you ask, what is nothing?
then you have to also be open to say, what is something?
Do you understand?
A little bit yeah!
I'm just basically sharing with you...
Don't just take the definition of nothing,
because in the dictionary they probably say, nothing is when the...
What does it mean anyway?
When something is the opposite of something,
but sometimes you need to look more carefully so you don't get tricked.
It's kind of like hide and seek, right?
When you say something disappears, you have to go where did it go?
It doesn't become nothing but maybe becomes something else,
like when you see the cloud up in the sky,
did you ever see a cloud disappear?
If you sit in the right place, somewhere over a hill
you see the cloud go.
It appeared,
and then you wait for a while and you look somewhere else,
and when you look up, and then the cloud disappeared.
And you say, there's nothing there now,
but if you look closely, the cloud is still there.
So please remember to not be caught when there is no cloud, okay?
You can also look and see, where did the cloud go?
Did it become the moisture?
Sometimes it becomes the rain
and sometimes, like right now, do you think there's a cloud here?
There's nothing here, but I think if I keep doing this enough
and you can see a very light cloud
I try
but you see that some time in a chemistry class or something,
you do certain things
and it makes the temperature change and the moisture happen
like when you take a shower,
sometimes you see the mist come up
please know that sometimes, just because you don't see it there,
doesn't mean there's nothing there, okay?
thank you for your question
and please continue to ask your other friends
maybe they have a very interesting answer
thank you
[gong]
why can't you cook fish in Plum Village?
So the question is, why can't we cook fish in Plum Village?
Why can't we cook fish in Plum Village?
I think it's because we enjoy the fish alive and swimming in the pond
more, than we do seeing the fish in a pan
and it's not that we cannot
it's that we don't want to
we choose not to cook the fish
and here we choose to eat what we call vegetarian
Do you know what vegetarian means?
It's just we don't eat meat, we don't eat fish,
we try to eat in such a way
that we minimize the suffering that we cause to animals, plants and minerals
and even to people
and that's why when we are here in Plum Village
we choose not to cook the fish
because we also want to prevent the fish from suffering a little bit
can you imagine if someone put you in a pan and cooked you?
Yeah not very nice right?
So that's why we choose not to cook the fish.
yeah, thank you
[gong]
pourquoi les moines et les nonnes ne peuvent pas avoir d'amoureux?
Yes, so the question is,
why can't monks and nuns be in love with somebody
or be in love with each other or another person?
Have a lover, okay.
Thank you brother Dickian
So why can't monks and nuns have lovers?
I think this is for Sister Lan Nghiem.
Dear Thay, dear sangha, dear children,
I'm always very happy to listen to the questions of children
but now to answer, that is something different
and I do like the question and
because I think it's not completely true that we cannot have a lover
I remember a long time ago, I shared something about in a presentation
that I shared that I had a secret lover
and it was not really a man but it was a sister
and it was a sister.
One day I was a little bit upset things were not going well
and I was upset and you know, I didn't want to talk to anybody
and then I came in the study room
and then I found a beautiful flower on my desk
beautiful
kaarsjeskruid in het Nederlands
and I was so happy to see this flower
and it changed immediately my whole mood
because somebody had thought about me
and knew that I was in a difficult mood
and that it was not going well and so on
and she put there a flower on my desk
so in this presentation I spoke about, I do have a secret lover
and that was this sister
and a secret lover that is somebody,
somebody who understands you and keeps an eye on you
and if you see that you are not doing well
then she is going to support you a little bit
for example by putting a flower on your desk
so this is about the sister
and the second part of the question
why can monistics not have a lover?
I think it is because we have chosen to spend our time in a different way
it's all about that
we like to be a monastic we really like to practice
we like to share the practice with everybody
and maybe as you have seen, it's a lot of work here it's quite busy
we have many big retreats during the year
now like the summer retreat, many people, a lot of work
so we have chosen to spend our time in a different way
and to share the practice with you
and imagine if I had this other kind of lover, a romantic lover
then I would not have so much time
then I would have to share my time with this man and with the Sangha
so it's not so much time that I could be here
and taking care of all the friends and so on
so it's about this, it's a choice in life that we have to make
and I have quite some peace with it
thank you
[gong]
Warum ist mein Leben eigentlich immer schwerer als das von den Anderen?
So please correct me if I'm wrong, the question is,
why is my life always more difficult than the lives of others?
so first, thank you for your question,
and thank you on behalf of everybody here
because when you ask a question like that then we all bring it into our heart
and I think we all have gone through times in our lives
where we feel our life is so much more difficult
than the lives of other people
is there anyone who has never felt that?
ok, there's one person who's never felt that
and for myself sometimes I feel I'm not good enough
I feel I'm not smart enough
I feel like I'm only average or maybe a little bit below average
can you imagine, as a monk you feel like that?
but it's true yeah
and then I think in my heart, it's not fair
because look at the kid
look at him, look at her, they are so talented
they're so intelligent, they speak so beautifully, they speak so..
they're so kind and compassionate, I'm very selfish
sometimes I have that kind of thinking even as a monk
do you believe me?
yeah it's true
and so, then I wish, you know, why? I wish to know why is it like that?
why is my life so difficult?
when I was young in middle school
I was about eleven, twelve years old
and there was a boy and he was a
when I would walk down the hallway
one day he punched me in the shoulder.
I didn't see him, he's punching, ow, it's very painful.
and then a couple days later, he did it again
and then I started to have fear to see that boy
if I was walking in the hallway and I saw that fear
I started to arrange my life so I could avoid that boy
and so I suffered very much and I said why is my life so difficult?
why can't I be...
at that time many of the boys they grew
I was very young for my grade
so many of the boys they grew up very tall and I was still very small
and so I suffered for many weeks like that
in fear that I would see that boy and he would punch me in the shoulder again
and all I wanted was to be big and strong like the other boys
and be really cool and talk with all the really cool girls
yeah?
Have you ever felt something like that? No,
okay yeah you
maybe you want
well anyway, I felt like that
and then, because I continued like that for a little while
then eventually we sat with somebody in the school
and we tried to have a communication
and you know what I found out?
he didn't like my haircut
can you believe that?
he didn't like my haircut and he thought I was trying to be cool
maybe I was trying to be cool
and sometimes the boys are like that
they want to put each other in their place, you know?
like, you are not cool, you have to stay in your place
I am cool
anyway something like that
and now when I look back at that, it looks very silly
but at the time when I was that age it was very real for me everyday
and I felt my life is so difficult
and I said where did my happiness go
I was a very happy boy and then suddenly my happiness disappeared
because of
not because of that boy, but because of my fear
I let my fear take over
what he did was very little
but what happened inside of me was very big, the emotion
and that is true most of our life
we have a strong emotion and we think it's because of something out there
but actually it's something in here
maybe there's something inside we're not taking care of
so that's why here in Plum Village, we learn..
I love to work with the children
to teach them how to breathe mindfully
you know, breathing in, breathing out
Do you know? We sing that song
and even when the kids are very noisy, when we start singing that song
after a few bars, they calm down and they all start singing it
and I feel so at peace at my heart
because when I was that age I didn't have that practice
I didn't have anyone who taught me how to come back to my breathing
and be solid like a mountain
I didn't feel I could be solid like a mountain
I just compared myself to other people
and I saw Who am I?, based on what I saw about the other kids.
and so that's what here in Plum Village we learned you know
we are solid like a mountain
the mountain doesn't compare itself to the other mountains
you understand?
the mountain is solid,
it doesn't say, why is that mountain more beautiful over there?
you know, there's a mountain, Mont Blanc, in the Alps
do you know that mountain, Mont Blanc?
it's a very beautiful mountain
and lots of people take pictures of that mountain.
But you know, there's a mountain right next to it,
but not many people take a picture of that mountain
and so that mountain can say, why is my life so difficult?
do you think the mountain says that? Yes?
no, of course, it's the mountain next to Mount Blanc
it doesn't say, why is everyone taking a picture of my brother?
well I never heard it say that
so when we are able to touch the solidity in ourselves
and be like the mountain, then we don't compare,
we don't compare we're happy, we're totally happy just who we are
being who we are
even if we have suffering, we have sadness
but we see that that is a part of our life
and we don't need to look anymore at the others around
we can just breathe and we can still smile
You can still smile, see?
and just be solid like that mountain
and then sometimes, someone will turn the camera a little bit
and will say, wow!
everyone takes a picture of Mount Blanc, but that mountain is so beautiful
and they will take a picture of the other mountain.
When you touch the beauty inside yourself
then people start to pay attention
they start to look and they see wow
you are so special
you're so beautiful
you're so such a kind person
yeah it's magical, but it works
so please try that, try breathing,
try just looking at the emotion
when it comes up, when you feel your life is so difficult,
just breathe,
just remember the Bell and your breath
and just pay attention to that emotion inside of you
and you can smile to it
just like you smile to me
okay? can you try that?
okay, good luck
[gong]
je voulais vous poser comme question,
avez-vous des methodes pour gerer mes mauvaises humeurs et mes angoisses?
So the question is,
could you help me with a method to take care of bad moods and anxiety
what is the method to help deal with bad moods and anxiety
maybe... I'm not sure if they ever have bad moods and anxiety
of course they do
I think I'm in a bad mood right now
and it's possible to smile to your bad mood
it's possible to learn how to relate differently to anxiety or sadness
or when you're feeling down
or when things don't go your way
and I think all of us, we have certain habit energies
the way we react
to for instance when we have a bad mood
I'm asked to slow down
and that makes me even more in a bad mood
and so for myself I find
I have to learn how to identify what triggers my bad mood
very often it's because something happens that makes me uncomfortable
like I cannot be myself
like right now, I cannot speak at the speed I would like to speak
so I feel a bit uncomfortable
but at the same time
I've trained myself for many years
it doesn't mean that I'm good at it already, but it's a training
to sit with this bad mood
when it comes up I breathe through it
and during those few seconds of breathing
or just stopping and not being carried away by the bad mood
then you can see it from a different side
for instance, I'm uncomfortable speaking slow
but it would help our translators
so then I can speak slow just to help out
and then, that kind of lifts my bad mood
it doesn't have to always be about me, for instance.
I find, all of us we have a tendency
when there's a bit of suffering that comes up
we want to get rid of it right away
whether it's the bad mood or the sadness or anxiety
we want to get rid of it right away
and this causes us a bit more suffering I think
but when we learn how to sit with it for a little bit
just allow it to be for a little bit
we can understand why it's there
for instance your bad mood may be something very simple
maybe you didn't get enough sleep last night
or you've been asked to do too many things that are out of your capacity
like you over stretch yourself
and then your body is weary, your mind is weary,
and then your bad mood comes up very easily.
So, just to sit with the bad mood and to look a little bit into it
and to see where it's come from
and sometimes like I say it's something very simple
so we all have to kind of train ourselves in this
and not just to want to get rid of the bad mood right away
but to identify the reasons why the bad mood came about in the first place
and then it's easier to learn to be
and to shift your mood
yeah, thank you
[gong]
Est-ce que vous êtes devenus moines ou moniales pour combler une vide,
ou pour aider les autres?
So did you become a monk or a nun in order to fill a void in yourself?
Did you become a monk or a nun in order to fill a void in yourself
or to help others?
I had a similar question but I phrased it differently
when I first met the monks and nuns.
I went to a retreat and I saw them smile a lot
and I was raised in America so I'm very suspicious of everything
not all Americans,
but particularly I was very afraid of things that seemed too happy
you know, like Plum Village is...
if I was a stranger and I came here I would go...
there's something very strange happening here
so I came to Plum Village,
I followed the monks and nuns for three months around America
to find out what happened behind the retreat
and I began to understand more
that the monks and nuns are humans
they do have suffering, they do have happiness
and they also have an aspiration to have meaning in their life.
so it's not like we are running away from society
or we are trying to get something for ourselves
but it's very linked because, if you can take care of yourself...
I had anger issues
so if I learn how to take care of my anger and be less angry
of my father
then I see that's very linked to my happiness
so sometimes you remove the anger
and what you're left with is a lot of space, to enjoy, right?
most of my young adult life, I was very easily...
it didn't look like it, but inside I was very frustrated
and very easily anxious, we call it frustrated
they call it urban angst, they call it now
it's very easily...
but outside I looked very happy.
I do my job 9:00 to 5:00, but inside there was a void
and it's related to the anger of not having any meaning
so the monks and when I follow them I see that some of them do have suffering
some of them know how to take care of this,
some of them know how to enjoy life
to help to be grateful with their life, with their parents
so I begin to understand more on how to handle suffering
and how to also live a life more meaningful,
rather than work, spend, work, spend, work, spend
so this for me...
and then I came to Plum Village
and I started to discover more about their lives
and then I became a monk to kind of go undercover
to see what they really do inside the residence
so I'm still here researching whether...
they haven't kicked me out of here yet
yeah
but I always tried to keep that in mind
and I see more and more of my life, I became to be more true
so it's not about empty or you're fulfilling your life
but, what is the meaning of your life? what is your life for?
and I see more and more I'm finding out that when you share
when you can make another person happy
when you help another person suffer less
somehow their happiness,
their transformation is also your happiness
so I don't have to go around to try to fulfill my life
and to achieve and then have success and I have a lot of money and have a car
but now my life is, I fill it up with other people's happiness
and also their suffering
when I see a person can handle their suffering
I saw a young woman come out to the meditation hall
and she cry, at Lower Hamlet, when after the Dharma talk
and she ran and her friend tried to grab her and she put her hand away
and she told her friend, I think, from far away
she say something
and so her friend bowed to her and then she went
and the young woman that was crying went to the bush in there
and I saw her sit
and she put her bag down and she sit there for a while
and I was eating my orange
and she sat there for a while
and then she stood up picked her bag turned around
and you can tell her face more peaceful
and for me that is my happiness
you see, so, I also have suffering and I learned how to take care of it
so I can recognize when someone does that
so the emptiness we sometimes feel is because we don't have meaning
we don't know why we go to work
we don't know why we do what we do
sometimes we don't even know why we're going on vacation
you just have to do it
this is my life before
it's time for vacation
what should I do now? spend more money right
and so this is what, as a young man, I became more empty
because my life didn't have a higher meaning
and this is why I kind of chose to become a monk
not to run away from society but to live more meaningfully
and sometimes people come here and they say we here are not really the world
the world is out there
now I have to go back to the world right, tomorrow or the next day
and this is not the real world
and that we have to question that
I mean if you accept that
that's why we have anxiety we have depression, we have a lot of...
so we need to create a way of living that can help us have fulfillment
and not to constantly be, have a void, an emptiness, no meaning
vide, what do you mean with vide, emptiness, is a life without meaning
so it's more or less philosophical
it's like, what is the meaning of your life?
what is my purpose every morning that I wake up
you have to answer that question every day
and you will see that it will link to your happiness
and you'll see that it is not about you and your career and your thing
but it's actually becoming more connected to other people
strangers, people in need, people in other countries
who do not have what we have here
this is what the children are needing to learn
that's why there's young people asking questions like that
because they have not seen suffering
so sometimes as a young person I encourage you to travel to India,
to Laos, to Vietnam, to see where we live in
so that's what happened to me in America
I became very closed
so when I traveled, I began to see really the suffering in the world
and then that will open a new way of looking
so, our view, we need to always open more
so I hope
I guess that's my experience of handling my emptiness, by more bringing meaning
so please, you're still young so really ask your question
what is it that brings meaning to my life?
and it doesn't have to be saving the world
it could be meaning, between your father and you, your mother and you
so to reconcile with your father
all of a sudden your life is more fulfilling
so when I succeed in something it's for my father
you see when I play with the young boy, that is my father
so you connect with your father
so it doesn't have to be a grand meaning
it could be very simple
please take care
[gong]
Dear respected Thay, dear respected teachers, community
I'm trying to make my question as clear as possible
but I feel I need to explain a bit the situation
my question is about the relationship to my sister, and it's very difficult,
she has been suffering from deep depression for many, many years now
and a long time I put a lot of effort into being active and helping her
which only took me energy
and there was nothing that could help her
and I realized that she needs to help herself
and I could only be there, at her side
but she doesn't let me be there.
she doesn't talk to me there and at the moment there is no contact
and I feel I'm not happy with that situation
because I would like to be there for her
and I told her, but she doesn't talk to me
and last winter retreat I sent her a letter
I tried to practice beginning anew
and I shared with her the relationship feels for me and that I wish to change it
but I have no ideas anymore
and I asked her if she has any suggestions how we could have a relationship
how we could talk to each other
and she didn't react
and I sent her a message and I said I felt sad that she didn't react
and then she said I'm sorry, but I cannot do that
and yeah, since then we didn't talk to each other
I guess we both didn't know how to do it
and, so my question is,
if you could recommend any practice for me that I could do
I would like to practice something like loving speech, deep listening, but how,
if there is no contact
and what happened, what I did was, trying to be happy myself with my life
but now I feel like, how can I be truly happy
if it's only possible that I exclude that from my life
it doesn't feel honest, doesn't feel right to me
yeah so I guess there are two parts about the question
is there something I can do I can practice with my sister
or how could I feel less selfish and guilty,
feeling letting her behind, alone?
Dear... I do not know, what is your name? Antonia? Sonya
Dear Sonya,
if I listen to you and it sounds like you have tried many, many things already
you have a very long breath and you have not given up
it's not so easy to come with a ready answer,
but I think there are two aspects in this question.
I think you can look into how, in the meantime, you can take care of yourself
that you do not also become like, maybe in a depression and so on,
I would say that it's possible that we overcome all difficulties
that there's always an end to that
but of course sometimes it takes much more energy
and much more time than in other cases
sometimes in difficulty, like a problem that you have with your sister
that looks very difficult and that you have tried everything
and you cannot come to a solution
I think we can finally overcome all difficulties
and that is also exactly the way that we grow
if you manage to overcome this difficulty and then we can grow
I would like to give an example for myself
a very long time ago, I had also a big difficulty I remember
like really big I found that, at the time
I just came to France and I was doing a course in France, in French
and it was at a university and we were asked to give a presentation
and it was like divided in Dutch people and German and French and so on
and we were only with the two of us, the only two Dutch women
so it was a kind of 'be-in' or bonte avond
and we had decided to give a presentation on how to make Dutch pancakes
and a woman with whom I was she said very quickly
okay I will bake the pancakes here behind and you are going to stand in front
and I had to explain in French how we were doing that in Holland, to bake pancakes
well it was for me the very first time
it was just after, after college that I came here in France
so I had never given a presentation like that and not at all in French
I will speak a little bit slower
but I remember that I was standing over there
and while explaining, that my legs came to tremble
and not a little bit , but they started to tremble enormously
and I was standing there in front and I did not know how to stop this
was really like very badly
I did not manage on that evening
and I had a very unpleasant feeling about it
and it has also afforded me to come out again later
because I was afraid that the same thing would happen again
and that I could not survive.
later on I have survived and now I'm sitting here on this chair
and I'm still, I'm still alive
so it is possible to overcome very difficult things
I think for yourself, and in this meantime
you have to take good care of yourself
and that you will need a lot of joy like a counterbalance to that
the depression of your sister
so maybe you can do something to have more joy
and it can be like going out or
go into the nature, maybe you have to move or do another study
or just you know something like a move, like a change in your life
that can bring you more happiness
and what is happening then
if you have much more happiness, then something's happening here in your head
now it sounds like it's quite full with this whole difficulty with your sister
and you're going to make a little bit of space for this
I think it will go away a little bit
you will send your energy not anymore to the difficulty in your head
but more to the things that you plan to do
so please try to focus on that
bring some air, some freshness into your life
more joy
and I think you will be more capable of trying to overcome this difficulty
so this is the aspect for yourself
please nourish your joy and happiness every day
take good care of it.
The second part is the relationship with your sister.
It looks like you have done many things already
you have come to her, you have spoken with her
and she did not want to speak with you anymore, you have written a letter
that is our practice, we try to write a letter, we call it a love letter
if it is difficult to communicate with somebody
we can put in a letter how we love the other person
maybe some qualities of her, you can also put souvenirs in this letter,
souvenirs from the past
maybe you have done many things together
I do not know about her age,
if there's a big difference in age between you and your sister
maybe you have done many things together in the past
and you had a lot of joy and fun and adventures
so you can recall that in the letter
nice things that you've done together and that you have very good memories about
that can help her, that can help her to overcome this...
it sounds like she's very sad and depressed,
to overcome, to lift up her mood
you said you have tried it already but maybe you have to try a second time
if I was you, as long as there is no communication, no oral communication,
to keep writing her and maybe to try with a different letter
[gong]
So dear Sonia, I just continue
and so I would like to encourage you to keep going on with writing
maybe an other letter
in the style that I just have painted
with her qualities, with sweet memories and so on
maybe for yourself in the beginning it's difficult to write this
because you have done already and no result up until now
but you will see, if you really take time to write a letter like this,
like a whole afternoon, you lock yourself in a room with chocolates,
and you do not come out of the room before you have finished this letter
and then you go, you will notice by writing down all those good memories
that you have of her, you know, that something will change in you
something will change in you and you'll feel a lot of compassion for her
and this compassion, she will taste from the letter she's going to receive
so please do not give up
I really would like to you to continue with her, keeping contact
and maybe in this way, and maybe later she's going to respond
I think you have to water this, water this and keeping contact every day
and in the meantime,
take good care for yourself
and that you do not lose hope or that you become desperate
thank you
I'm just gonna share that, you know,
when we, the monks and nuns, are up here for a question-and-answer session
we are all human beings and we all have our own experience
so we shouldn't mistake when we give an answer
that it is like the absolute truth
we are sharing from our heart, from our own experience as human beings
just as we all have the opportunity to do while we're here this week
so we don't need to think that one answer is is absolutely
the only one
and there's all beautiful experiences
personal experiences that we have here and that's all we're here to offer
so thank you for your question
So there's a few written questions,
I kind of grouped them on similar topic
so the first one is "dear sister, brother,
may you please share with us about the practice of mindfulness at work"
and "please could you talk about the organization of time"
"in my life I always live in a quick speed mode.
although I practice meditation everyday and I breathe consciously
I'm still living in a hurry because I have too much work in this time of my life
thanks a lot, a lotus for you"
Dear Thay, dear Sangha,
I grew up in America,
educated and worked as a architect for four years before meeting Thay
and so you know the whole system of having a job and work
is the whole education system too,
and please know this is a very biased answer so please take it lightly
I chose to leave all that, so it's very biased okay
so, we dream to always run after time as if we don't have enough
yesterday was lazy day
lazy days that is one of Thay's...
was it technics up, was it a shot you take so you don't get sick?
it's a kind of a lazy day, it's a real...
one time the monks came to Thay
because we heard a lot of people don't like the word lazy
and we asked Thay, Thay can you change,
can we change the word lazy to, maybe, rest day or something more...
because people feel lazy you know,
and Thay said: "Don't ever change the world lazy"
I've never heard Thay so strong
he said because people feel guilty to be lazy and he said that's good
they should need to look at their guilt
because the society is over developed over, over productive, right?
so we think we're advanced,
our culture is developed right
but I think now it's another way of looking we're over developed
and we're not looking down at those other southern countries and nations
saying they're underdeveloped
in fact they're fine
we're going there to develop them
and we're making them lose a lot of their environment
so in a way we have to relook
we are overworked, we're over developed, we are over timed over schedule
every time I visit my family nowadays
I hardly can squeeze off some time from my niece and nephew
because they go to soccer and the Saturday piano and ballet on Sunday
I mean even the weekend, the mother has to run to take them to
and I have to go with them because I want to be with my niece and nephew
and I watch them play soccer
it's good you know to have activity for the kids
but it's a little bit over, over worked, over,
I think you know what I mean
that's probably why you're here right?
so I don't have to try to convince an orange that it's an orange
so... for working we also need to look at the way
we do need to work, we're not all lazy it's only one day of the seven day
and so when we work, we have to reorient ourselves
like washing the dishes
you know
one day somebody will propose, why doesn't Plum Village buy a big washing machine,
and it could get done quickly, right?
no buckets and cleaning and then give it to the kid
to take it, to put it in the thing and it's a lot of work, right?
you need 20 people to wash a few dishes
but there's enjoyment while we wash the dishes
it's kind of like a waste of time, God, get it over with
so why do we make you wash dishes?
we could buy a machine, right?
same thing,
convenience can sometimes actually diminish your enjoyment, your happiness
so this is work,
this is just like the meditation hall, we had a discussion yesterday
about working in the meditation hall and not rushing
because maybe there's not enough time and we have to catch the bus,
so sometimes you know reality you have to do it and you have to rush
but your attitude is... it depends on your mental attitude
you do it and some people do have habits and there are different levels of rushing
there's some people who rush it looks like they're rushing
but they're not rushing
some people, it looks like they're really doing it slow
but they are rushing
this is a my experience
there's a lot of, ... how come you're not doing it right?
how come they're not doing it mindfully?
you look like you're doing mindfully but that's not really mindful
so you have to be careful
some people can do a lot of work and look like they're rushing
but their mental attitude is enjoyment
they're doing it for others so it depends
you're washing the dishes you're doing it for the community
you're doing a carrot
you're doing it for the community, for other people to eat
but you know you don't have to do it like
peel the carrot like this, you know
that means you're stuck with an idea
so work doesn't mean... so we have to be very careful
mindfulness at work, we have to be careful
so of course you know take a break on the computer
and so many things
you have to use your mindfulness, your intelligence
to find a balance in yourself, to not lose yourself in the work
so how you sit on the front of the computer
how you brew brush so look at the way you work
so that's just the mechanics of work okay
and there's also the meaning of work
so also we have to look at why you're working
what are you working for
you want more money, you want more
you have an idea, you want a bigger house, you want a retirement plan,
these ideas you have to look at
that's maybe pushing you to sacrifice the present moment
for the future, you see?
so we need to look at this
this is what I had to wake up from
9:00 to 5:00 retirement plan
two garage house a nice family and you know these kind of
what do they call it, American, America dream
is this still called the American dream?
so these are things, with the practice,
with the deep looking, we begin to look at work
so I'm sharing is also the meaning while you work
and it is also looking at our relationship with the watch
with your planner, your schedule
these are things that you learn
and we become very mechanical
and we don't know why we do it
we just wake up, do it, do it, do it
and so we need to look at this
so find time, so I encourage all the families, everyone
to, you know, reduce a little bit
you don't need to have everything, just enough
and if you do succeed, use that to help other people
and that will bring more meaning to your work
you see that the cycle it needs to go in circle like this
you know the system now is very capitalistic
to save, save, save, hold everything
and you see, there's only a certain amount
and after that, the happiness don't increase
I think more and more we know that, right?
after 10 shirts that you have, it's become very hm, another shirt, another shirt
so please know why you're working
and how much you should work to maintain kind of enough for your family
so that you don't sacrifice your present moment, happiness
with your family, with your loved one, with helping other people
so your time is not just to..., you should spend meaningfully
to help other people, to help your friends,
your relatives, your brothers and sisters, other families
so you might have work that might not be the most meaningful
but it pays your thing and then you take the money
you take some of the time and you help, you see
so don't try to always, you have to find the work that is the most meaningful
in fact the meaning is what you put into it
so you could be a bus driver
and you could be a very good bus driver
if you remove the idea that you have to be a successful businessperson
you see the work
you enjoy washing your dishes, driving the bus
so it's all based on the quality of your attitude
and you can always learn more
thank you
[gong]
(in Japanese)
dear Thay, dear brothers and sisters, dear friends
he asked the question
is there any condition to make people satisfied
and then become happy
is there any conditions that can make people satisfied
and they feel happy
Dear Thay, dear... what's your name? Ray? dear Ray,
arigato for your question
so this question is very important
and we know the Buddha sat with this question as well
he asked himself is there any condition for my fulfillment
for my complete happiness
and at that time he had a wife and he had a child
and he had a pretty good career
maybe he was gonna be the chief of his village, like his father
so he seemed to have many good conditions
that most people spend their whole life trying to obtain
thinking that that will bring them happiness
and yet he wasn't happy
and that's why we're all here today
because he saw that those conditions were not sufficient for his happiness,
for his true happiness
and so he decided to leave behind his family
to cut his hair
and to live in the forest
he tried looking for roots in the ground to eat
he went to live in different spiritual communities
and he always sat with that question
how can I find true happiness?
or another way to phrase is, why is there suffering?
what is the nature of this suffering?
and our teacher Thay,
he often talked about the happiness and suffering like the sides of a coin
you cannot have happiness without suffering
you cannot even imagine suffering without happiness
they inter are
it means that, looking into our situation of suffering, we can find happiness
so you could say that suffering is a kind of condition
that can lead us to happiness
actually as monks and nuns I know myself and many of my brothers and sisters
we also ask this question
because actually we can get quite comfortable as a monk or nun
you see, here in Plum Village we eat delicious vegetarian food
and we live with many people who are very understanding
very compassionate very kind
smiling a lot
and we don't have to do too much work
at least we don't get fired if we don't do too much work
so, actually many people come here because they think
wow, these are good conditions for me to be happy
and then
and then they find out they have to live together
with other people for the rest of their life
and they start saying why? look at Thay, Thay teaches this
but look, look... they look and they say..
and so, somehow, even if they have all these good conditions
of good food, place to sleep, go to the doctor if they're sick
but they still are not happy
they're not able to live together with their brothers and sisters
and that is a pity
and so we have to sometimes look and see
is my happiness dependent on outside conditions?
even here in Plum Village
we have to ask ourselves because we have..
you know monks and nuns, they haven't always enjoyed such good conditions
as we have in Plum Village to practice
sometimes they lived in a very authoritarian regime
where they wanted to destroy the Buddhist temples
they wanted to make the monks and nuns marry each other
to give up the celibate life
that happened many times in history of Buddhism
and that continues to happen today, in some places
and so even in those conditions,
those monks and nuns were able to touch deep happiness
even like, I remember always a story of one of Thay's students who was put in jail
She only had a little bit of space, and she practiced walking meditation every day
just breathing, and being with her step
and she was able to generate happiness
even just in that tiny space with only a little food to eat
she kept her mind clear and she enjoyed every step
and so anytime that I feel that I'm a little bit upset
because my conditions of happiness are not sufficient
then I remember that nun, practicing in the jail
and I feel a little bit of shame
how could I be so greedy
and that helps me to remove the external conditions of happiness
and to see that actually I can generate a kind of unconditioned happiness
something that's not dependent on external or even internal conditions
and sometimes we touch that
that is a beautiful moment
when you touch that you need to remember it
maybe you stop and you take 12 breaths
my happiness has not come from anywhere
and my happiness is not going anywhere
there are moments like that in life
and in my experience, when we practice they become more and more
and bigger and longer
and that's why I love the practice so much
because touching this kind of unconditioned happiness
but it takes practice
because we are conditioned to like conditioning
we are conditioned to like our habits
even people condition themselves to like their own suffering
can you imagine that?
they fall in love with their own situation of suffering
and when you want to help them to come out of it, they prefer to stay there
and that is a funny quality of human beings
so keep that question, it's a beautiful question
like the Buddha
you can be a Buddha and ask, what is this unconditioned happiness?
keep asking yourself that question
you look at your suffering
you see it transform and you hold it there
it's very beautiful
that's the secret of the universe, okay?
good luck
dear friends it's quarter after 11
and we have a beautiful walk for the community today
to go down to Son Ha and enjoy the garden there
and maybe some music
so we know there are other questions to be asked
and we encourage you to bring the question up in your Dharma sharing group
if you feel courageous enough
there are also wonderful other monks and nuns who can share their experience
and help with the question
there are also a number of written questions we didn't get to
I will give them to the brother or sister giving the Dharma talk tomorrow
so they can keep it in mind
and hopefully be able to answer the question in the talk tomorrow
so I'd like to thank my elder brothers and sisters for coming up here today
and sharing their experience
and thank you all, for we do this together
this is a process of deep looking and we continue
as we finish the last two days of this third week together
we will finish by listening to three sounds of the Bell