WEBVTT
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[gong]
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[gong]
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[gong]
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[gong]
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Dear respected Thay,
dear sisters and brothers
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welcome to the Q&A session
of the third week of summer retreat
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I feel very honored to be here
with my big brother and sisters.
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On the panel today
we have Thay Phap Dung,
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he is born in Vietnam
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but he studied in the United States
to become an architect.
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He's one of our elder brothers
here in Plum Village
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Sister Lang Nghiem is also born in Vietnam
but studied in the United States,
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and sister Lan Nghiem
is coming from Holland
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she spent much of her
adult life in France,
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and I'm brother Phap Luu,
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I come from the United States and
I live here for maybe, 15 years.
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So we have a chance for you,
the children, the teens, the parents,
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to come up here
and ask the question of your heart.
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We know that when we look
deeply into ourselves
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and we see that something's
burning inside, some questions,
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something we need the community
and our brothers and sisters to look into,
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then we can stand up and come up here
and ask that question of our heart.
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It's not an intellectual question,
something we can look up on Wikipedia,
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but something that is really
about our daily life
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and the suffering and happiness
of our practice.
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And a good question
doesn't have to be long.
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So we'll start with the children
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and then invite some questions
from the teens and the young people
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and then from the adults.
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And if you feel a little bit shy
to come up here,
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then you can write down
your question on a piece of paper
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and try to get it to the Bell master
and he will bring it to us.
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So we might take
some written questions as well.
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So we'll start with the children,
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are there any questions from the children?
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Yes? You want to come up here?
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We'll take maybe three or maximum
four questions from the children.
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Please come up.
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If you speak English, or French,
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you can ask your question in that
language, and we'll try to translate
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and if you ask your question
in another language
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if you can bring a translator with you,
that would be very helpful.
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so we can listen to a sound of the Bell,
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come back to our breathing
and then we'll have our first question
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[gong]
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Lieve broeders en zusters,
mijn vraag is: Wat betekent niets?
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Wat is niks?
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[translation by a person in the room]
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So I'll just repeat the question
so that everyone can hear.
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She asked the question:
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Dear brothers and sisters,
what is nothing?
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What does nothing mean?
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I invite Thay Phap Dung,
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I think Thay Phap Dung is very good
about talking about nothing.
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I don't know what happened this summer
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but more and more children
are becoming philosophical.
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I see my brothers and sister
last two weeks up here,
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meeting young philosophers
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We use our language, like the word
'nothing', to describe many things, right?
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When we practice, we learn to look deeply
and not get caught in the word 'nothing'.
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Sometimes we use the word 'nothing'
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to describe when something
is not seen anymore,
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the food on your plate,
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you finish eating,
you eat everything on your plate
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and then you say
there's nothing on the plate, right?
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So we use the word 'nothing'
to describe when we don't see something.
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Sometimes we have a cup, right?
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You say, there's tea in that cup
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and there's nothing in the cup, right,
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but is there something else in the cup?
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Air, right!
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So you can say there's nothing,
but then you can say there is something,
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right?
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So we have to be very careful
when we use a word,
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nothing,
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and don't let it stop you
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from questioning the meaning
of the word, you understand?
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I believe your question is very,
you want to understand
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and please continue
to ask that question, okay?
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Well your plate is empty
and you say there's nothing on the plate,
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and where did it go?
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That something, the food.
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Right, so the food comes
into your stomach,
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it goes, and it doesn't become nothing.
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So nothing and something
have a relationship, right?
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Like, there's nothing,
but there's also something.
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So when you ask, there is nothing
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you have to ask,
what is it, that is nothing of.
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So it doesn't really disappear
but maybe we don't see it,
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you understand?
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So when you ask, what is nothing?
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then you have to also be open
to say, what is something?
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Do you understand?
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A little bit yeah!
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I'm just basically sharing with you...
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Don't just take the definition of nothing,
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because in the dictionary they probably
say, nothing is when the...
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What does it mean anyway?
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When something is
the opposite of something,
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but sometimes you need to look
more carefully so you don't get tricked.
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It's kind of like hide and seek, right?
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When you say something disappears,
you have to go where did it go?
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It doesn't become nothing
but maybe becomes something else,
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like when you see the cloud up in the sky,
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did you ever see a cloud disappear?
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If you sit in the right place,
somewhere over a hill
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you see the cloud go.
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It appeared,
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and then you wait for a while
and you look somewhere else,
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and when you look up,
and then the cloud disappeared.
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And you say, there's nothing there now,
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but if you look closely,
the cloud is still there.
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So please remember to not be caught
when there is no cloud, okay?
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You can also look and see,
where did the cloud go?
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Did it become the moisture?
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Sometimes it becomes the rain
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and sometimes, like right now,
do you think there's a cloud here?
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There's nothing here,
but I think if I keep doing this enough
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and you can see a very light cloud
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I try
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but you see that some time
in a chemistry class or something,
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you do certain things
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and it makes the temperature change
and the moisture happen
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like when you take a shower,
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sometimes you see the mist come up
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please know that sometimes,
just because you don't see it there,
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doesn't mean there's nothing there, okay?
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thank you for your question
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and please continue
to ask your other friends
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maybe they have a very interesting answer
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thank you
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thank you
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[gong]
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[gong]
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why can't you cook fish in Plum Village?
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So the question is,
why can't we cook fish in Plum Village?
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Why can't we cook fish in Plum Village?
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I think it's because we enjoy the fish
alive and swimming in the pond
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more, than we do seeing the fish in a pan
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and it's not that we cannot
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it's that we don't want to
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we choose not to cook the fish
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and here we choose to eat
what we call vegetarian
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Do you know what vegetarian means?
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It's just we don't eat meat,
we don't eat fish,
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we try to eat in such a way
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that we minimize the suffering that we
cause to animals, plants and minerals
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and even to people
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and that's why
when we are here in Plum Village
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we choose not to cook the fish
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because we also want to prevent the fish
from suffering a little bit
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can you imagine if someone
put you in a pan and cooked you?
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Yeah not very nice right?
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So that's why we choose
not to cook the fish.
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yeah, thank you
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[gong]
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pourquoi les moines et les nonnes
ne peuvent pas avoir d'amoureux?
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Yes, so the question is,
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why can't monks and nuns
be in love with somebody
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or be in love with each other
or another person?
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Have a lover, okay.
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Thank you brother Dickian
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So why can't monks and nuns have lovers?
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I think this is for Sister Lan Nghiem.
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Dear Thay, dear sangha,
dear children,
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I'm always very happy to listen
to the questions of children
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but now to answer,
that is something different
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and I do like the question and
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because I think it's not completely true
that we cannot have a lover
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I remember a long time ago,
I shared something about in a presentation
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that I shared that I had a secret lover
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and it was not really a man
but it was a sister
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and it was a sister.
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One day I was a little bit upset
things were not going well
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and I was upset and you know,
I didn't want to talk to anybody
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and then I came in the study room
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and then I found
a beautiful flower on my desk
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beautiful
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kaarsjeskruid in het Nederlands
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and I was so happy to see this flower
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and it changed immediately my whole mood
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because somebody had thought about me
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and knew that I was in a difficult mood
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and that it was not going well and so on
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and she put there a flower on my desk
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so in this presentation I spoke about,
I do have a secret lover
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and that was this sister
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and a secret lover that is somebody,
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somebody who understands you
and keeps an eye on you
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and if you see that you are not doing well
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then she is going
to support you a little bit
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for example by putting
a flower on your desk
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so this is about the sister
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and the second part of the question
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why can monistics not have a lover?
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I think it is because we have chosen
to spend our time in a different way
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it's all about that
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we like to be a monastic
we really like to practice
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we like to share the practice
with everybody
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and maybe as you have seen,
it's a lot of work here it's quite busy
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we have many big retreats during the year
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now like the summer retreat,
many people, a lot of work
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so we have chosen
to spend our time in a different way
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and to share the practice with you
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and imagine if I had
this other kind of lover, a romantic lover
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then I would not have so much time
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then I would have to share my time
with this man and with the Sangha
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so it's not so much time
that I could be here
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and taking care
of all the friends and so on
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so it's about this, it's a choice in life
that we have to make
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and I have quite some peace with it
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thank you
00:20:53.226 --> 00:21:00.386
[gong]
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Warum ist mein Leben eigentlich
immer schwerer als das von den Anderen?
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So please correct me if I'm wrong,
the question is,
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why is my life always more difficult
than the lives of others?
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so first, thank you for your question,
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and thank you on behalf of everybody here
00:22:08.503 --> 00:22:13.965
because when you ask a question like that
then we all bring it into our heart
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and I think we all have gone
through times in our lives
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where we feel
our life is so much more difficult
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than the lives of other people
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is there anyone who has never felt that?
00:22:41.550 --> 00:22:44.007
ok, there's one person
who's never felt that
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and for myself sometimes I feel
I'm not good enough
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I feel I'm not smart enough
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I feel like I'm only average
or maybe a little bit below average
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can you imagine,
as a monk you feel like that?
00:23:23.300 --> 00:23:25.039
but it's true yeah
00:23:29.843 --> 00:23:34.808
and then I think in my heart,
it's not fair
00:23:39.343 --> 00:23:40.736
because look at the kid
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look at him, look at her,
they are so talented
00:23:44.280 --> 00:23:48.669
they're so intelligent,
they speak so beautifully, they speak so..
00:23:49.387 --> 00:23:52.247
they're so kind and compassionate,
I'm very selfish
00:23:53.449 --> 00:23:56.218
sometimes I have that kind of thinking
even as a monk
00:23:57.124 --> 00:23:58.178
do you believe me?
00:24:01.941 --> 00:24:03.840
yeah it's true
00:24:08.950 --> 00:24:15.362
and so, then I wish, you know, why?
I wish to know why is it like that?
00:24:27.888 --> 00:24:29.358
why is my life so difficult?
00:24:32.607 --> 00:24:37.794
when I was young in middle school
00:24:38.866 --> 00:24:40.826
I was about eleven, twelve years old
00:24:43.424 --> 00:24:47.304
and there was a boy and he was a
00:24:47.304 --> 00:24:49.177
when I would walk down the hallway
00:24:49.544 --> 00:24:51.424
one day he punched me in the shoulder.
00:24:54.005 --> 00:24:57.464
I didn't see him, he's punching,
ow, it's very painful.
00:24:59.478 --> 00:25:03.091
and then a couple days later,
he did it again
00:25:05.820 --> 00:25:08.498
and then I started
to have fear to see that boy
00:25:10.144 --> 00:25:14.610
if I was walking in the hallway
and I saw that fear
00:25:14.918 --> 00:25:18.857
I started to arrange my life
so I could avoid that boy
00:25:24.318 --> 00:25:27.706
and so I suffered very much
and I said why is my life so difficult?
00:25:28.321 --> 00:25:29.227
why can't I be...
00:25:29.794 --> 00:25:31.887
at that time many of the boys they grew
00:25:31.887 --> 00:25:34.292
I was very young for my grade
00:25:35.181 --> 00:25:38.689
so many of the boys they grew up
very tall and I was still very small
00:25:42.663 --> 00:25:48.535
and so I suffered for many weeks like that
00:25:49.317 --> 00:25:53.359
in fear that I would see that boy and
he would punch me in the shoulder again
00:26:03.863 --> 00:26:08.990
and all I wanted was
to be big and strong like the other boys
00:26:10.873 --> 00:26:15.895
and be really cool and
talk with all the really cool girls
00:26:18.552 --> 00:26:19.299
yeah?
00:26:20.240 --> 00:26:24.698
Have you ever felt something like that?
No,
00:26:25.513 --> 00:26:26.747
okay yeah you
00:26:27.041 --> 00:26:27.858
maybe you want
00:26:29.843 --> 00:26:31.655
well anyway, I felt like that
00:26:39.524 --> 00:26:44.616
and then, because I continued like that
for a little while
00:26:45.192 --> 00:26:49.278
then eventually
we sat with somebody in the school
00:26:50.513 --> 00:26:52.383
and we tried to have a communication
00:26:56.006 --> 00:26:58.124
and you know what I found out?
00:27:00.698 --> 00:27:02.346
he didn't like my haircut
00:27:06.773 --> 00:27:08.026
can you believe that?
00:27:09.026 --> 00:27:14.790
he didn't like my haircut
and he thought I was trying to be cool
00:27:16.665 --> 00:27:18.222
maybe I was trying to be cool
00:27:20.086 --> 00:27:21.841
and sometimes the boys are like that
00:27:21.841 --> 00:27:24.740
they want to put each other
in their place, you know?
00:27:24.740 --> 00:27:27.528
like, you are not cool,
you have to stay in your place
00:27:28.245 --> 00:27:29.032
I am cool
00:27:29.798 --> 00:27:31.284
anyway something like that
00:27:33.512 --> 00:27:36.158
and now when I look back at that,
it looks very silly
00:27:38.278 --> 00:27:43.017
but at the time when I was that age
it was very real for me everyday
00:27:44.278 --> 00:27:45.930
and I felt my life is so difficult
00:27:45.939 --> 00:27:47.698
and I said where did my happiness go
00:27:49.163 --> 00:27:52.736
I was a very happy boy and then
suddenly my happiness disappeared
00:27:53.732 --> 00:27:54.563
because of
00:27:55.020 --> 00:27:57.697
not because of that boy,
but because of my fear
00:27:58.064 --> 00:27:59.409
I let my fear take over
00:28:02.299 --> 00:28:03.716
what he did was very little
00:28:04.912 --> 00:28:08.699
but what happened inside of me
was very big, the emotion
00:28:11.412 --> 00:28:13.265
and that is true most of our life
00:28:14.317 --> 00:28:19.479
we have a strong emotion and we think
it's because of something out there
00:28:20.614 --> 00:28:22.390
but actually it's something in here
00:28:23.283 --> 00:28:26.011
maybe there's something inside
we're not taking care of
00:28:28.199 --> 00:28:30.433
so that's why here in Plum Village,
we learn..
00:28:31.268 --> 00:28:32.910
I love to work with the children
00:28:33.776 --> 00:28:35.815
to teach them how to breathe mindfully
00:28:36.909 --> 00:28:41.250
you know, breathing in, breathing out
00:28:41.250 --> 00:28:42.833
Do you know? We sing that song
00:28:43.447 --> 00:28:46.921
and even when the kids are very noisy,
when we start singing that song
00:28:46.924 --> 00:28:51.135
after a few bars, they calm down
and they all start singing it
00:28:52.016 --> 00:28:54.410
and I feel so at peace at my heart
00:28:54.652 --> 00:28:57.544
because when I was that age
I didn't have that practice
00:28:58.128 --> 00:29:02.263
I didn't have anyone who taught me
how to come back to my breathing
00:29:02.534 --> 00:29:04.359
and be solid like a mountain
00:29:05.013 --> 00:29:07.609
I didn't feel I could be solid
like a mountain
00:29:08.940 --> 00:29:11.235
I just compared myself to other people
00:29:12.141 --> 00:29:18.946
and I saw Who am I?,
based on what I saw about the other kids.
00:29:21.895 --> 00:29:26.223
and so that's what here in Plum Village
we learned you know
00:29:26.223 --> 00:29:27.586
we are solid like a mountain
00:29:27.586 --> 00:29:30.399
the mountain doesn't compare itself
to the other mountains
00:29:32.823 --> 00:29:34.102
you understand?
00:29:34.604 --> 00:29:35.726
the mountain is solid,
00:29:35.726 --> 00:29:38.862
it doesn't say, why is that mountain
more beautiful over there?
00:29:40.866 --> 00:29:44.498
you know, there's a mountain,
Mont Blanc, in the Alps
00:29:45.084 --> 00:29:47.410
do you know that mountain, Mont Blanc?
00:29:49.758 --> 00:29:51.248
it's a very beautiful mountain
00:29:51.248 --> 00:29:53.754
and lots of people take pictures
of that mountain.
00:29:54.863 --> 00:29:57.268
But you know,
there's a mountain right next to it,
00:29:58.294 --> 00:30:00.720
but not many people
take a picture of that mountain
00:30:02.277 --> 00:30:05.116
and so that mountain can say,
why is my life so difficult?
00:30:07.891 --> 00:30:12.806
do you think the mountain says that?
Yes?
00:30:15.471 --> 00:30:17.948
no, of course,
it's the mountain next to Mount Blanc
00:30:17.948 --> 00:30:21.422
it doesn't say, why is everyone
taking a picture of my brother?
00:30:25.763 --> 00:30:27.201
well I never heard it say that
00:30:40.087 --> 00:30:43.256
so when we are able
to touch the solidity in ourselves
00:30:43.948 --> 00:30:46.931
and be like the mountain,
then we don't compare,
00:30:47.909 --> 00:30:51.014
we don't compare we're happy,
we're totally happy just who we are
00:30:51.391 --> 00:30:52.567
being who we are
00:30:52.567 --> 00:30:54.829
even if we have suffering, we have sadness
00:30:55.757 --> 00:30:59.060
but we see that that is a part of our life
00:31:01.436 --> 00:31:05.451
and we don't need to look anymore
at the others around
00:31:06.902 --> 00:31:09.667
we can just breathe and we can still smile
00:31:11.737 --> 00:31:13.529
You can still smile, see?
00:31:15.354 --> 00:31:18.381
and just be solid like that mountain
00:31:19.306 --> 00:31:22.213
and then sometimes,
someone will turn the camera a little bit
00:31:22.213 --> 00:31:23.358
and will say, wow!
00:31:23.886 --> 00:31:27.687
everyone takes a picture of Mount Blanc,
but that mountain is so beautiful
00:31:29.521 --> 00:31:31.980
and they will take a picture
of the other mountain.
00:31:34.294 --> 00:31:36.455
When you touch the beauty inside yourself
00:31:36.642 --> 00:31:38.545
then people start to pay attention
00:31:39.359 --> 00:31:41.384
they start to look and they see wow
00:31:42.284 --> 00:31:45.442
you are so special
00:31:46.861 --> 00:31:47.964
you're so beautiful
00:31:49.414 --> 00:31:51.330
you're so such a kind person
00:31:54.347 --> 00:31:57.004
yeah it's magical, but it works
00:31:58.598 --> 00:32:00.629
so please try that, try breathing,
00:32:02.863 --> 00:32:04.915
try just looking at the emotion
00:32:04.915 --> 00:32:07.733
when it comes up,
when you feel your life is so difficult,
00:32:08.178 --> 00:32:09.062
just breathe,
00:32:09.882 --> 00:32:12.065
just remember the Bell and your breath
00:32:12.526 --> 00:32:15.245
and just pay attention
to that emotion inside of you
00:32:16.187 --> 00:32:17.407
and you can smile to it
00:32:17.801 --> 00:32:19.223
just like you smile to me
00:32:20.390 --> 00:32:22.472
okay? can you try that?
00:32:25.073 --> 00:32:27.027
okay, good luck
00:32:30.015 --> 00:32:32.349
[gong]
00:32:35.414 --> 00:32:40.999
[gong]
00:33:09.448 --> 00:33:11.220
je voulais vous poser comme question,
00:33:11.586 --> 00:33:18.416
avez-vous des methodes pour gerer
mes mauvaises humeurs et mes angoisses?
00:33:34.825 --> 00:33:36.080
So the question is,
00:33:38.632 --> 00:33:46.880
could you help me with a method
to take care of bad moods and anxiety
00:33:49.071 --> 00:33:55.524
what is the method
to help deal with bad moods and anxiety
00:34:14.069 --> 00:34:17.381
maybe... I'm not sure if they
ever have bad moods and anxiety
00:34:22.539 --> 00:34:23.421
of course they do
00:34:39.484 --> 00:34:41.357
I think I'm in a bad mood right now
00:34:48.482 --> 00:34:52.233
and it's possible
to smile to your bad mood
00:34:54.194 --> 00:35:00.955
it's possible to learn how to relate
differently to anxiety or sadness
00:35:01.371 --> 00:35:03.198
or when you're feeling down
00:35:03.775 --> 00:35:05.484
or when things don't go your way
00:35:08.887 --> 00:35:13.384
and I think all of us,
we have certain habit energies
00:35:13.679 --> 00:35:14.751
the way we react
00:35:16.781 --> 00:35:19.510
to for instance when we have a bad mood
00:35:25.355 --> 00:35:26.602
I'm asked to slow down
00:35:28.565 --> 00:35:30.703
and that makes me even more in a bad mood
00:35:38.348 --> 00:35:42.175
and so for myself I find
00:35:43.653 --> 00:35:47.502
I have to learn how to identify
what triggers my bad mood
00:35:49.813 --> 00:35:55.256
very often it's because something happens
that makes me uncomfortable
00:35:56.253 --> 00:35:58.398
like I cannot be myself
00:35:59.958 --> 00:36:03.646
like right now, I cannot speak
at the speed I would like to speak
00:36:06.881 --> 00:36:09.435
so I feel a bit uncomfortable
00:36:11.649 --> 00:36:12.714
but at the same time
00:36:15.604 --> 00:36:18.725
I've trained myself for many years
00:36:18.946 --> 00:36:22.846
it doesn't mean that I'm good at it
already, but it's a training
00:36:24.283 --> 00:36:25.690
to sit with this bad mood
00:36:26.240 --> 00:36:28.133
when it comes up I breathe through it
00:36:29.768 --> 00:36:31.910
and during those few seconds of breathing
00:36:32.141 --> 00:36:35.555
or just stopping and not being
carried away by the bad mood
00:36:38.459 --> 00:36:41.956
then you can see it from a different side
00:36:42.819 --> 00:36:45.625
for instance,
I'm uncomfortable speaking slow
00:36:46.007 --> 00:36:48.438
but it would help our translators
00:36:51.957 --> 00:36:55.302
so then I can speak slow just to help out
00:36:55.731 --> 00:36:59.474
and then, that kind of lifts my bad mood
00:36:59.582 --> 00:37:02.655
it doesn't have to always be about me,
for instance.
00:37:08.842 --> 00:37:12.779
I find, all of us we have a tendency
00:37:13.064 --> 00:37:15.965
when there's a bit of suffering
that comes up
00:37:16.534 --> 00:37:18.573
we want to get rid of it right away
00:37:19.853 --> 00:37:24.244
whether it's the bad mood
or the sadness or anxiety
00:37:24.920 --> 00:37:27.107
we want to get rid of it right away
00:37:27.630 --> 00:37:30.818
and this causes us
a bit more suffering I think
00:37:33.590 --> 00:37:37.048
but when we learn
how to sit with it for a little bit
00:37:37.230 --> 00:37:39.249
just allow it to be for a little bit
00:37:39.922 --> 00:37:42.231
we can understand why it's there
00:37:45.483 --> 00:37:48.345
for instance your bad mood
may be something very simple
00:37:48.459 --> 00:37:50.801
maybe you didn't get
enough sleep last night
00:37:52.374 --> 00:37:58.487
or you've been asked to do too many things
that are out of your capacity
00:37:58.819 --> 00:38:00.618
like you over stretch yourself
00:38:00.761 --> 00:38:03.175
and then your body is weary,
your mind is weary,
00:38:03.480 --> 00:38:05.899
and then your bad mood
comes up very easily.
00:38:06.831 --> 00:38:10.558
So, just to sit with the bad mood
and to look a little bit into it
00:38:10.747 --> 00:38:12.511
and to see where it's come from
00:38:15.681 --> 00:38:18.167
and sometimes like I say
it's something very simple
00:38:18.986 --> 00:38:21.602
so we all have to kind of
train ourselves in this
00:38:22.238 --> 00:38:25.531
and not just to want to get rid
of the bad mood right away
00:38:26.182 --> 00:38:31.816
but to identify the reasons why
the bad mood came about in the first place
00:38:32.197 --> 00:38:35.492
and then it's easier to learn to be
00:38:35.711 --> 00:38:37.607
and to shift your mood
00:38:41.583 --> 00:38:43.736
yeah, thank you
00:38:46.954 --> 00:38:48.483
[gong]
00:38:51.603 --> 00:38:58.458
[gong]
00:39:12.488 --> 00:39:15.947
Est-ce que vous êtes devenus moines
ou moniales pour combler une vide,
00:39:16.814 --> 00:39:18.030
ou pour aider les autres?
00:39:48.042 --> 00:39:54.636
So did you become a monk or a nun
in order to fill a void in yourself?
00:40:05.503 --> 00:40:09.425
Did you become a monk or a nun
in order to fill a void in yourself
00:40:09.846 --> 00:40:11.704
or to help others?
00:40:14.403 --> 00:40:18.143
I had a similar question
but I phrased it differently
00:40:18.502 --> 00:40:20.556
when I first met the monks and nuns.
00:40:22.108 --> 00:40:25.438
I went to a retreat
and I saw them smile a lot
00:40:27.276 --> 00:40:32.171
and I was raised in America
so I'm very suspicious of everything
00:40:35.929 --> 00:40:36.953
not all Americans,
00:40:37.114 --> 00:40:43.594
but particularly I was very afraid
of things that seemed too happy
00:40:45.355 --> 00:40:46.963
you know, like Plum Village is...
00:40:49.820 --> 00:40:52.453
if I was a stranger and I came here
I would go...
00:40:56.725 --> 00:40:59.308
there's something very strange
happening here
00:41:01.566 --> 00:41:04.459
so I came to Plum Village,
00:41:04.703 --> 00:41:07.616
I followed the monks and nuns
for three months around America
00:41:07.899 --> 00:41:12.151
to find out what happened
behind the retreat
00:41:15.150 --> 00:41:17.350
and I began to understand more
00:41:19.516 --> 00:41:23.479
that the monks and nuns are humans
00:41:24.178 --> 00:41:26.612
they do have suffering,
they do have happiness
00:41:28.008 --> 00:41:32.242
and they also have an aspiration
to have meaning in their life.
00:41:33.553 --> 00:41:37.116
so it's not like
we are running away from society
00:41:38.692 --> 00:41:45.183
or we are trying
to get something for ourselves
00:41:46.205 --> 00:41:51.433
but it's very linked because,
if you can take care of yourself...
00:41:51.691 --> 00:41:53.350
I had anger issues
00:41:53.750 --> 00:41:59.396
so if I learn how to take care of my anger
and be less angry
00:42:01.498 --> 00:42:02.553
of my father
00:42:02.993 --> 00:42:05.764
then I see that's very linked
to my happiness
00:42:07.451 --> 00:42:09.277
so sometimes you remove the anger
00:42:09.650 --> 00:42:14.610
and what you're left with
is a lot of space, to enjoy, right?
00:42:16.062 --> 00:42:20.426
most of my young adult life,
I was very easily...
00:42:20.860 --> 00:42:25.945
it didn't look like it,
but inside I was very frustrated
00:42:26.129 --> 00:42:34.350
and very easily anxious,
we call it frustrated
00:42:35.489 --> 00:42:38.404
they call it urban angst, they call it now
00:42:39.147 --> 00:42:40.673
it's very easily...
00:42:42.122 --> 00:42:44.246
but outside I looked very happy.
00:42:45.694 --> 00:42:51.212
I do my job 9:00 to 5:00,
but inside there was a void
00:42:52.245 --> 00:42:56.437
and it's related to the anger
of not having any meaning
00:42:57.977 --> 00:43:02.841
so the monks and when I follow them
I see that some of them do have suffering
00:43:03.375 --> 00:43:05.723
some of them know
how to take care of this,
00:43:05.899 --> 00:43:09.138
some of them know how to enjoy life
00:43:09.664 --> 00:43:14.382
to help to be grateful with their life,
with their parents
00:43:15.017 --> 00:43:19.863
so I begin to understand more
on how to handle suffering
00:43:20.728 --> 00:43:25.610
and how to also live a life
more meaningful,
00:43:25.762 --> 00:43:29.507
rather than work, spend,
work, spend, work, spend
00:43:30.642 --> 00:43:32.226
so this for me...
00:43:32.947 --> 00:43:34.660
and then I came to Plum Village
00:43:34.884 --> 00:43:39.120
and I started to discover
more about their lives
00:43:40.528 --> 00:43:45.239
and then I became a monk
to kind of go undercover
00:43:45.804 --> 00:43:49.371
to see what they really do
inside the residence
00:43:52.683 --> 00:43:55.304
so I'm still here researching whether...
00:43:58.680 --> 00:44:00.563
they haven't kicked me out of here yet
00:44:00.572 --> 00:44:01.489
yeah
00:44:02.453 --> 00:44:04.448
but I always tried to keep that in mind
00:44:05.659 --> 00:44:09.823
and I see more and more of my life,
I became to be more true
00:44:10.871 --> 00:44:14.384
so it's not about empty or
you're fulfilling your life
00:44:15.612 --> 00:44:22.046
but, what is the meaning of your life?
what is your life for?
00:44:23.998 --> 00:44:27.644
and I see more and more
I'm finding out that when you share
00:44:28.964 --> 00:44:31.520
when you can make another person happy
00:44:32.820 --> 00:44:35.403
when you help another person suffer less
00:44:36.186 --> 00:44:37.895
somehow their happiness,
00:44:38.209 --> 00:44:43.394
their transformation
is also your happiness
00:44:43.771 --> 00:44:47.012
so I don't have to go around
to try to fulfill my life
00:44:47.795 --> 00:44:52.428
and to achieve and then have success
and I have a lot of money and have a car
00:44:53.679 --> 00:44:58.017
but now my life is,
I fill it up with other people's happiness
00:44:59.296 --> 00:45:00.713
and also their suffering
00:45:01.749 --> 00:45:04.376
when I see a person
can handle their suffering
00:45:05.969 --> 00:45:09.174
I saw a young woman
come out to the meditation hall
00:45:09.987 --> 00:45:15.825
and she cry, at Lower Hamlet,
when after the Dharma talk
00:45:16.388 --> 00:45:21.836
and she ran and her friend tried
to grab her and she put her hand away
00:45:22.504 --> 00:45:25.454
and she told her friend,
I think, from far away
00:45:25.765 --> 00:45:26.828
she say something
00:45:27.263 --> 00:45:29.670
and so her friend bowed to her
and then she went
00:45:30.073 --> 00:45:34.008
and the young woman that was crying
went to the bush in there
00:45:34.732 --> 00:45:35.884
and I saw her sit
00:45:37.134 --> 00:45:41.490
and she put her bag down
and she sit there for a while
00:45:41.634 --> 00:45:43.042
and I was eating my orange
00:45:46.598 --> 00:45:48.226
and she sat there for a while
00:45:48.495 --> 00:45:52.322
and then she stood up
picked her bag turned around
00:45:53.334 --> 00:45:56.228
and you can tell her face more peaceful
00:45:57.314 --> 00:45:59.676
and for me that is my happiness
00:46:01.357 --> 00:46:06.431
you see, so, I also have suffering
and I learned how to take care of it
00:46:06.431 --> 00:46:10.431
so I can recognize when someone does that
00:46:12.242 --> 00:46:17.662
so the emptiness we sometimes feel
is because we don't have meaning
00:46:18.991 --> 00:46:20.794
we don't know why we go to work
00:46:22.106 --> 00:46:24.200
we don't know why we do what we do
00:46:25.391 --> 00:46:28.389
sometimes we don't even know
why we're going on vacation
00:46:30.456 --> 00:46:31.621
you just have to do it
00:46:34.944 --> 00:46:36.906
this is my life before
00:46:37.542 --> 00:46:38.631
it's time for vacation
00:46:40.240 --> 00:46:43.583
what should I do now?
spend more money right
00:46:44.550 --> 00:46:48.740
and so this is what, as a young man,
I became more empty
00:46:48.900 --> 00:46:53.513
because my life
didn't have a higher meaning
00:46:54.795 --> 00:46:59.472
and this is why I kind of
chose to become a monk
00:47:00.047 --> 00:47:04.793
not to run away from society
but to live more meaningfully
00:47:06.289 --> 00:47:11.086
and sometimes people come here and
they say we here are not really the world
00:47:11.205 --> 00:47:12.380
the world is out there
00:47:13.302 --> 00:47:16.608
now I have to go back to the world right,
tomorrow or the next day
00:47:17.349 --> 00:47:18.930
and this is not the real world
00:47:20.022 --> 00:47:22.283
and that we have to question that
00:47:23.049 --> 00:47:24.514
I mean if you accept that
00:47:26.738 --> 00:47:31.138
that's why we have anxiety
we have depression, we have a lot of...
00:47:33.320 --> 00:47:39.755
so we need to create a way of living
that can help us have fulfillment
00:47:40.973 --> 00:47:46.439
and not to constantly be, have a void,
an emptiness, no meaning
00:47:46.439 --> 00:47:51.189
vide, what do you mean with vide,
emptiness, is a life without meaning
00:47:53.250 --> 00:47:55.324
so it's more or less philosophical
00:47:55.685 --> 00:47:58.188
it's like,
what is the meaning of your life?
00:47:59.106 --> 00:48:02.055
what is my purpose
every morning that I wake up
00:48:02.915 --> 00:48:05.691
you have to answer that question every day
00:48:07.430 --> 00:48:09.917
and you will see that
it will link to your happiness
00:48:11.332 --> 00:48:15.609
and you'll see that it is not about you
and your career and your thing
00:48:15.879 --> 00:48:21.270
but it's actually becoming more connected
to other people
00:48:21.461 --> 00:48:25.448
strangers, people in need,
people in other countries
00:48:25.803 --> 00:48:27.745
who do not have what we have here
00:48:28.416 --> 00:48:31.009
this is what the children
are needing to learn
00:48:31.545 --> 00:48:36.012
that's why there's young people
asking questions like that
00:48:36.858 --> 00:48:38.651
because they have not seen suffering
00:48:40.506 --> 00:48:44.686
so sometimes as a young person
I encourage you to travel to India,
00:48:47.216 --> 00:48:52.209
to Laos, to Vietnam,
to see where we live in
00:48:52.955 --> 00:48:54.935
so that's what happened to me in America
00:48:55.305 --> 00:48:56.755
I became very closed
00:48:57.946 --> 00:49:04.558
so when I traveled, I began to see
really the suffering in the world
00:49:05.344 --> 00:49:08.822
and then that will open
a new way of looking
00:49:09.891 --> 00:49:13.018
so, our view,
we need to always open more
00:49:15.127 --> 00:49:15.928
so I hope
00:49:16.549 --> 00:49:23.553
I guess that's my experience of handling
my emptiness, by more bringing meaning
00:49:24.672 --> 00:49:28.486
so please, you're still young
so really ask your question
00:49:28.856 --> 00:49:31.561
what is it that brings meaning to my life?
00:49:32.012 --> 00:49:34.224
and it doesn't have to be saving the world
00:49:35.097 --> 00:49:39.904
it could be meaning, between your father
and you, your mother and you
00:49:41.540 --> 00:49:44.443
so to reconcile with your father
00:49:45.192 --> 00:49:49.294
all of a sudden
your life is more fulfilling
00:49:49.885 --> 00:49:52.529
so when I succeed in something
it's for my father
00:49:54.029 --> 00:49:57.196
you see when I play with the young boy,
that is my father
00:49:58.653 --> 00:50:00.410
so you connect with your father
00:50:01.750 --> 00:50:05.083
so it doesn't have to be a grand meaning
00:50:05.751 --> 00:50:07.132
it could be very simple
00:50:08.958 --> 00:50:11.516
please take care
00:50:14.697 --> 00:50:16.034
[gong]
00:50:19.330 --> 00:50:27.324
[gong]
00:50:47.604 --> 00:50:51.495
Dear respected Thay,
dear respected teachers, community
00:50:54.039 --> 00:50:58.371
I'm trying to make my question
as clear as possible
00:50:59.385 --> 00:51:03.425
but I feel I need
to explain a bit the situation
00:51:05.508 --> 00:51:13.788
my question is about the relationship
to my sister, and it's very difficult,
00:51:14.266 --> 00:51:20.306
she has been suffering from deep
depression for many, many years now
00:51:21.705 --> 00:51:31.806
and a long time I put a lot of effort
into being active and helping her
00:51:32.220 --> 00:51:34.592
which only took me energy
00:51:34.879 --> 00:51:40.988
and there was nothing that could help her
00:51:41.250 --> 00:51:45.195
and I realized that
she needs to help herself
00:51:45.916 --> 00:51:49.370
and I could only be there, at her side
00:51:49.806 --> 00:51:52.347
but she doesn't let me be there.
00:51:53.397 --> 00:52:00.141
she doesn't talk to me there
and at the moment there is no contact
00:52:00.522 --> 00:52:06.093
and I feel I'm not happy
with that situation
00:52:06.360 --> 00:52:09.057
because I would like to be there for her
00:52:09.977 --> 00:52:14.878
and I told her, but she doesn't talk to me
00:52:15.252 --> 00:52:20.574
and last winter retreat
I sent her a letter
00:52:21.840 --> 00:52:24.953
I tried to practice beginning anew
00:52:25.478 --> 00:52:32.526
and I shared with her the relationship
feels for me and that I wish to change it
00:52:32.680 --> 00:52:35.929
but I have no ideas anymore
00:52:38.061 --> 00:52:44.794
and I asked her if she has any suggestions
how we could have a relationship
00:52:44.794 --> 00:52:46.874
how we could talk to each other
00:52:48.425 --> 00:52:50.461
and she didn't react
00:52:51.853 --> 00:53:01.183
and I sent her a message and I said
I felt sad that she didn't react
00:53:03.255 --> 00:53:07.192
and then she said I'm sorry,
but I cannot do that
00:53:09.427 --> 00:53:14.483
and yeah, since then
we didn't talk to each other
00:53:14.693 --> 00:53:17.114
I guess we both didn't know how to do it
00:53:18.705 --> 00:53:24.848
and, so my question is,
00:53:25.870 --> 00:53:32.115
if you could recommend any practice for me
that I could do
00:53:33.367 --> 00:53:40.281
I would like to practice something like
loving speech, deep listening, but how,
00:53:40.534 --> 00:53:42.404
if there is no contact
00:53:43.002 --> 00:53:50.582
and what happened, what I did was,
trying to be happy myself with my life
00:53:51.062 --> 00:53:55.014
but now I feel like,
how can I be truly happy
00:53:56.037 --> 00:54:00.691
if it's only possible
that I exclude that from my life
00:54:00.899 --> 00:54:04.826
it doesn't feel honest,
doesn't feel right to me
00:54:07.739 --> 00:54:10.989
yeah so I guess there are
two parts about the question
00:54:11.185 --> 00:54:15.574
is there something I can do
I can practice with my sister
00:54:16.544 --> 00:54:22.812
or how could I feel less
selfish and guilty,
00:54:23.067 --> 00:54:28.077
feeling letting her behind, alone?
00:54:35.881 --> 00:54:41.901
Dear... I do not know, what is your name?
Antonia? Sonya
00:54:42.688 --> 00:54:43.506
Dear Sonya,
00:54:45.892 --> 00:54:52.710
if I listen to you and it sounds like
you have tried many, many things already
00:54:53.569 --> 00:54:56.491
you have a very long breath
and you have not given up
00:55:00.500 --> 00:55:04.746
it's not so easy to come
with a ready answer,
00:55:05.437 --> 00:55:08.630
but I think there are
two aspects in this question.
00:55:09.736 --> 00:55:16.261
I think you can look into how, in the
meantime, you can take care of yourself
00:55:17.317 --> 00:55:22.797
that you do not also become like,
maybe in a depression and so on,
00:55:27.526 --> 00:55:32.467
I would say that it's possible
that we overcome all difficulties
00:55:33.935 --> 00:55:36.721
that there's always an end to that
00:55:37.104 --> 00:55:40.026
but of course sometimes
it takes much more energy
00:55:40.225 --> 00:55:42.897
and much more time than in other cases
00:55:44.868 --> 00:55:48.352
sometimes in difficulty, like a problem
that you have with your sister
00:55:48.786 --> 00:55:52.951
that looks very difficult
and that you have tried everything
00:55:53.652 --> 00:55:55.728
and you cannot come to a solution
00:55:57.863 --> 00:56:01.755
I think we can finally overcome
all difficulties
00:56:02.601 --> 00:56:05.307
and that is also exactly
the way that we grow
00:56:05.802 --> 00:56:09.438
if you manage to overcome this difficulty
and then we can grow
00:56:12.974 --> 00:56:15.303
I would like to give an example for myself
00:56:17.088 --> 00:56:21.797
a very long time ago,
I had also a big difficulty I remember
00:56:23.819 --> 00:56:26.630
like really big I found that, at the time
00:56:26.880 --> 00:56:33.353
I just came to France and
I was doing a course in France, in French
00:56:34.509 --> 00:56:39.745
and it was at a university
and we were asked to give a presentation
00:56:41.308 --> 00:56:46.587
and it was like divided in Dutch people
and German and French and so on
00:56:47.247 --> 00:56:51.211
and we were only with the two of us,
the only two Dutch women
00:56:52.734 --> 00:56:56.557
so it was a kind of 'be-in' or bonte avond
00:56:57.689 --> 00:57:02.126
and we had decided to give a presentation
on how to make Dutch pancakes
00:57:03.604 --> 00:57:06.213
and a woman with whom I was
she said very quickly
00:57:06.413 --> 00:57:10.730
okay I will bake the pancakes here behind
and you are going to stand in front
00:57:11.823 --> 00:57:17.948
and I had to explain in French how we were
doing that in Holland, to bake pancakes
00:57:19.974 --> 00:57:22.026
well it was for me the very first time
00:57:22.200 --> 00:57:26.536
it was just after, after college
that I came here in France
00:57:27.364 --> 00:57:32.267
so I had never given a presentation
like that and not at all in French
00:57:35.574 --> 00:57:37.352
I will speak a little bit slower
00:57:39.078 --> 00:57:42.602
but I remember
that I was standing over there
00:57:42.980 --> 00:57:47.410
and while explaining,
that my legs came to tremble
00:57:48.248 --> 00:57:52.191
and not a little bit ,
but they started to tremble enormously
00:57:53.304 --> 00:57:57.238
and I was standing there in front
and I did not know how to stop this
00:57:59.463 --> 00:58:01.315
was really like very badly
00:58:02.132 --> 00:58:03.925
I did not manage on that evening
00:58:04.176 --> 00:58:07.332
and I had a very unpleasant
feeling about it
00:58:07.859 --> 00:58:13.436
and it has also afforded me
to come out again later
00:58:13.761 --> 00:58:16.806
because I was afraid
that the same thing would happen again
00:58:17.071 --> 00:58:18.745
and that I could not survive.
00:58:22.159 --> 00:58:25.821
later on I have survived and
now I'm sitting here on this chair
00:58:26.077 --> 00:58:28.685
and I'm still, I'm still alive
00:58:29.176 --> 00:58:33.130
so it is possible
to overcome very difficult things
00:58:35.614 --> 00:58:38.848
I think for yourself, and in this meantime
00:58:39.982 --> 00:58:42.781
you have to take good care of yourself
00:58:43.088 --> 00:58:47.563
and that you will need a lot of joy
like a counterbalance to that
00:58:48.256 --> 00:58:50.355
the depression of your sister
00:58:51.516 --> 00:58:58.283
so maybe you can do something
to have more joy
00:58:59.625 --> 00:59:02.209
and it can be like going out or
00:59:04.312 --> 00:59:09.078
go into the nature, maybe you have to move
or do another study
00:59:09.187 --> 00:59:14.232
or just you know something like a move,
like a change in your life
00:59:14.480 --> 00:59:16.762
that can bring you more happiness
00:59:17.467 --> 00:59:18.748
and what is happening then
00:59:18.896 --> 00:59:24.721
if you have much more happiness, then
something's happening here in your head
00:59:25.017 --> 00:59:29.257
now it sounds like it's quite full with
this whole difficulty with your sister
00:59:29.989 --> 00:59:32.812
and you're going to make
a little bit of space for this
00:59:34.179 --> 00:59:37.258
I think it will go away a little bit
00:59:37.995 --> 00:59:41.518
you will send your energy
not anymore to the difficulty in your head
00:59:42.194 --> 00:59:44.942
but more to the things that you plan to do
00:59:45.907 --> 00:59:47.640
so please try to focus on that
00:59:47.880 --> 00:59:50.572
bring some air,
some freshness into your life
00:59:51.141 --> 00:59:52.099
more joy
00:59:53.200 --> 01:00:04.311
and I think you will be more capable
of trying to overcome this difficulty
01:00:05.573 --> 01:00:07.378
so this is the aspect for yourself
01:00:07.654 --> 01:00:10.773
please nourish your joy
and happiness every day
01:00:11.494 --> 01:00:13.051
take good care of it.
01:00:19.397 --> 01:00:22.878
The second part is
the relationship with your sister.
01:00:23.161 --> 01:00:27.062
It looks like you have done
many things already
01:00:28.661 --> 01:00:32.076
you have come to her,
you have spoken with her
01:00:33.516 --> 01:00:37.185
and she did not want to speak with you
anymore, you have written a letter
01:00:37.735 --> 01:00:44.891
that is our practice, we try to write
a letter, we call it a love letter
01:00:45.752 --> 01:00:48.525
if it is difficult
to communicate with somebody
01:00:49.927 --> 01:00:54.075
we can put in a letter
how we love the other person
01:00:57.909 --> 01:01:06.773
maybe some qualities of her,
you can also put souvenirs in this letter,
01:01:07.980 --> 01:01:09.527
souvenirs from the past
01:01:11.536 --> 01:01:13.502
maybe you have done many things together
01:01:13.690 --> 01:01:15.178
I do not know about her age,
01:01:15.344 --> 01:01:18.500
if there's a big difference in age
between you and your sister
01:01:19.293 --> 01:01:21.901
maybe you have done many things
together in the past
01:01:22.152 --> 01:01:25.492
and you had a lot of joy and fun
and adventures
01:01:26.153 --> 01:01:28.379
so you can recall that in the letter
01:01:30.098 --> 01:01:34.306
nice things that you've done together
and that you have very good memories about
01:01:35.468 --> 01:01:39.085
that can help her,
that can help her to overcome this...
01:01:40.075 --> 01:01:42.690
it sounds like she's very
sad and depressed,
01:01:43.030 --> 01:01:45.552
to overcome, to lift up her mood
01:01:48.657 --> 01:01:53.269
you said you have tried it already
but maybe you have to try a second time
01:01:53.985 --> 01:02:00.852
if I was you, as long as there is
no communication, no oral communication,
01:02:02.777 --> 01:02:07.147
to keep writing her
and maybe to try with a different letter
01:02:13.271 --> 01:02:21.023
[gong]
01:02:55.247 --> 01:02:57.315
So dear Sonia, I just continue
01:02:57.804 --> 01:03:04.232
and so I would like to encourage you
to keep going on with writing
01:03:04.493 --> 01:03:05.966
maybe an other letter
01:03:06.905 --> 01:03:09.684
in the style that I just have painted
01:03:10.692 --> 01:03:13.872
with her qualities,
with sweet memories and so on
01:03:14.169 --> 01:03:17.338
maybe for yourself in the beginning
it's difficult to write this
01:03:17.676 --> 01:03:21.600
because you have done already
and no result up until now
01:03:22.137 --> 01:03:26.951
but you will see, if you really take time
to write a letter like this,
01:03:27.078 --> 01:03:31.487
like a whole afternoon, you lock yourself
in a room with chocolates,
01:03:31.915 --> 01:03:35.592
and you do not come out of the room
before you have finished this letter
01:03:36.189 --> 01:03:42.352
and then you go, you will notice
by writing down all those good memories
01:03:42.502 --> 01:03:46.495
that you have of her, you know,
that something will change in you
01:03:46.881 --> 01:03:50.515
something will change in you and
you'll feel a lot of compassion for her
01:03:51.105 --> 01:03:56.390
and this compassion, she will taste
from the letter she's going to receive
01:03:57.944 --> 01:04:00.152
so please do not give up
01:04:00.333 --> 01:04:04.269
I really would like to you
to continue with her, keeping contact
01:04:04.422 --> 01:04:11.605
and maybe in this way,
and maybe later she's going to respond
01:04:11.932 --> 01:04:17.804
I think you have to water this,
water this and keeping contact every day
01:04:18.246 --> 01:04:19.284
and in the meantime,
01:04:19.662 --> 01:04:21.363
take good care for yourself
01:04:21.552 --> 01:04:25.938
and that you do not lose hope
or that you become desperate
01:04:28.254 --> 01:04:29.102
thank you
01:04:42.319 --> 01:04:45.241
I'm just gonna share that, you know,
01:04:45.326 --> 01:04:49.369
when we, the monks and nuns, are
up here for a question-and-answer session
01:04:49.817 --> 01:04:52.848
we are all human beings
and we all have our own experience
01:04:54.053 --> 01:04:57.079
so we shouldn't mistake
when we give an answer
01:04:57.333 --> 01:04:59.141
that it is like the absolute truth
01:05:00.558 --> 01:05:04.960
we are sharing from our heart,
from our own experience as human beings
01:05:05.352 --> 01:05:10.037
just as we all have the opportunity to do
while we're here this week
01:05:10.323 --> 01:05:13.576
so we don't need to think
that one answer is is absolutely
01:05:14.185 --> 01:05:15.221
the only one
01:05:15.630 --> 01:05:18.186
and there's all beautiful experiences
01:05:18.594 --> 01:05:23.071
personal experiences that we have here
and that's all we're here to offer
01:05:24.517 --> 01:05:26.183
so thank you for your question
01:05:35.418 --> 01:05:37.495
So there's a few written questions,
01:05:37.765 --> 01:05:41.560
I kind of grouped them on similar topic
01:05:42.129 --> 01:05:47.198
so the first one is "dear sister, brother,
01:05:47.506 --> 01:05:51.979
may you please share with us about
the practice of mindfulness at work"
01:05:53.977 --> 01:05:57.446
and "please could you talk
about the organization of time"
01:06:01.998 --> 01:06:09.561
"in my life I always live
in a quick speed mode.
01:06:10.697 --> 01:06:13.879
although I practice meditation everyday
and I breathe consciously
01:06:15.415 --> 01:06:19.951
I'm still living in a hurry because I have
too much work in this time of my life
01:06:20.985 --> 01:06:22.608
thanks a lot, a lotus for you"
01:06:38.379 --> 01:06:39.678
Dear Thay, dear Sangha,
01:06:41.879 --> 01:06:44.602
I grew up in America,
01:06:45.060 --> 01:06:51.108
educated and worked as a architect
for four years before meeting Thay
01:06:52.892 --> 01:06:59.487
and so you know the whole system
of having a job and work
01:06:59.825 --> 01:07:02.106
is the whole education system too,
01:07:03.199 --> 01:07:09.993
and please know this is a very biased
answer so please take it lightly
01:07:11.827 --> 01:07:16.154
I chose to leave all that,
so it's very biased okay
01:07:17.074 --> 01:07:24.821
so, we dream to always run after time
as if we don't have enough
01:07:26.472 --> 01:07:28.145
yesterday was lazy day
01:07:29.033 --> 01:07:32.435
lazy days that is one of Thay's...
01:07:34.713 --> 01:07:40.750
was it technics up, was it a shot you take
so you don't get sick?
01:07:43.842 --> 01:07:47.253
it's a kind of a lazy day, it's a real...
01:07:48.900 --> 01:07:50.952
one time the monks came to Thay
01:07:51.123 --> 01:07:54.916
because we heard
a lot of people don't like the word lazy
01:07:55.493 --> 01:07:57.989
and we asked Thay, Thay can you change,
01:07:59.099 --> 01:08:04.264
can we change the word lazy to, maybe,
rest day or something more...
01:08:04.941 --> 01:08:09.986
because people feel lazy you know,
01:08:10.666 --> 01:08:13.892
and Thay said:
"Don't ever change the world lazy"
01:08:15.105 --> 01:08:17.283
I've never heard Thay so strong
01:08:17.472 --> 01:08:23.195
he said because people feel guilty
to be lazy and he said that's good
01:08:23.910 --> 01:08:25.839
they should need to look at their guilt
01:08:26.099 --> 01:08:32.313
because the society is over developed
over, over productive, right?
01:08:32.874 --> 01:08:34.401
so we think we're advanced,
01:08:34.401 --> 01:08:38.338
our culture is developed right
01:08:39.310 --> 01:08:43.224
but I think now it's another way
of looking we're over developed
01:08:44.176 --> 01:08:48.068
and we're not looking down at those
other southern countries and nations
01:08:48.312 --> 01:08:49.906
saying they're underdeveloped
01:08:50.139 --> 01:08:51.388
in fact they're fine
01:08:52.219 --> 01:08:54.237
we're going there to develop them
01:08:55.331 --> 01:08:58.832
and we're making them lose
a lot of their environment
01:08:59.627 --> 01:09:01.346
so in a way we have to relook
01:09:02.132 --> 01:09:08.797
we are overworked, we're over developed,
we are over timed over schedule
01:09:10.228 --> 01:09:12.500
every time I visit my family nowadays
01:09:12.775 --> 01:09:18.786
I hardly can squeeze off some time
from my niece and nephew
01:09:19.094 --> 01:09:26.213
because they go to soccer and the
Saturday piano and ballet on Sunday
01:09:26.728 --> 01:09:32.053
I mean even the weekend,
the mother has to run to take them to
01:09:32.261 --> 01:09:36.338
and I have to go with them because
I want to be with my niece and nephew
01:09:37.176 --> 01:09:38.636
and I watch them play soccer
01:09:39.548 --> 01:09:43.236
it's good you know
to have activity for the kids
01:09:44.365 --> 01:09:48.686
but it's a little bit over, over worked,
over,
01:09:48.763 --> 01:09:50.658
I think you know what I mean
01:09:50.658 --> 01:09:52.520
that's probably why you're here right?
01:09:54.337 --> 01:09:57.562
so I don't have to try
to convince an orange that it's an orange
01:09:59.667 --> 01:10:05.500
so... for working
we also need to look at the way
01:10:05.500 --> 01:10:11.520
we do need to work, we're not all lazy
it's only one day of the seven day
01:10:12.624 --> 01:10:16.085
and so when we work,
we have to reorient ourselves
01:10:17.369 --> 01:10:18.569
like washing the dishes
01:10:19.514 --> 01:10:20.262
you know
01:10:20.262 --> 01:10:25.247
one day somebody will propose, why doesn't
Plum Village buy a big washing machine,
01:10:25.656 --> 01:10:29.060
and it could get done quickly, right?
01:10:29.282 --> 01:10:32.736
no buckets and cleaning
and then give it to the kid
01:10:33.068 --> 01:10:36.592
to take it, to put it in the thing
and it's a lot of work, right?
01:10:37.357 --> 01:10:39.977
you need 20 people to wash a few dishes
01:10:41.548 --> 01:10:45.502
but there's enjoyment
while we wash the dishes
01:10:46.605 --> 01:10:49.751
it's kind of like a waste of time,
God, get it over with
01:10:50.758 --> 01:10:53.103
so why do we make you wash dishes?
01:10:53.798 --> 01:10:55.144
we could buy a machine, right?
01:10:57.911 --> 01:10:58.655
same thing,
01:10:58.655 --> 01:11:05.187
convenience can sometimes actually
diminish your enjoyment, your happiness
01:11:06.084 --> 01:11:07.267
so this is work,
01:11:08.426 --> 01:11:12.642
this is just like the meditation hall,
we had a discussion yesterday
01:11:12.642 --> 01:11:16.012
about working in the meditation hall
and not rushing
01:11:17.418 --> 01:11:20.757
because maybe there's not enough time
and we have to catch the bus,
01:11:22.030 --> 01:11:26.453
so sometimes you know reality
you have to do it and you have to rush
01:11:27.056 --> 01:11:31.185
but your attitude is...
it depends on your mental attitude
01:11:32.610 --> 01:11:37.709
you do it and some people do have habits
and there are different levels of rushing
01:11:37.977 --> 01:11:40.895
there's some people who rush
it looks like they're rushing
01:11:41.316 --> 01:11:42.428
but they're not rushing
01:11:44.047 --> 01:11:46.771
some people, it looks like
they're really doing it slow
01:11:47.174 --> 01:11:48.338
but they are rushing
01:11:48.990 --> 01:11:50.549
this is a my experience
01:11:51.460 --> 01:11:54.584
there's a lot of, ...
how come you're not doing it right?
01:11:55.676 --> 01:11:58.335
how come they're not doing it mindfully?
01:11:58.936 --> 01:12:02.124
you look like you're doing mindfully
but that's not really mindful
01:12:03.433 --> 01:12:04.911
so you have to be careful
01:12:05.075 --> 01:12:09.619
some people can do a lot of work
and look like they're rushing
01:12:10.468 --> 01:12:13.320
but their mental attitude is enjoyment
01:12:13.431 --> 01:12:16.063
they're doing it for others so it depends
01:12:16.441 --> 01:12:19.344
you're washing the dishes
you're doing it for the community
01:12:20.276 --> 01:12:21.620
you're doing a carrot
01:12:23.399 --> 01:12:27.044
you're doing it for the community,
for other people to eat
01:12:28.196 --> 01:12:30.399
but you know you don't have to do it like
01:12:31.631 --> 01:12:33.442
peel the carrot like this, you know
01:12:35.975 --> 01:12:38.874
that means you're stuck with an idea
01:12:40.623 --> 01:12:44.083
so work doesn't mean...
so we have to be very careful
01:12:44.281 --> 01:12:48.089
mindfulness at work, we have to be careful
01:12:49.377 --> 01:12:52.253
so of course you know
take a break on the computer
01:12:52.670 --> 01:12:53.649
and so many things
01:12:53.815 --> 01:12:56.298
you have to use your mindfulness,
your intelligence
01:12:58.463 --> 01:13:02.651
to find a balance in yourself,
to not lose yourself in the work
01:13:03.281 --> 01:13:05.358
so how you sit
on the front of the computer
01:13:05.896 --> 01:13:09.936
how you brew brush
so look at the way you work
01:13:10.435 --> 01:13:12.914
so that's just the mechanics of work okay
01:13:13.391 --> 01:13:15.386
and there's also the meaning of work
01:13:16.252 --> 01:13:18.507
so also we have to look
at why you're working
01:13:19.192 --> 01:13:20.483
what are you working for
01:13:21.215 --> 01:13:23.281
you want more money, you want more
01:13:23.707 --> 01:13:28.395
you have an idea, you want a bigger house,
you want a retirement plan,
01:13:28.537 --> 01:13:30.156
these ideas you have to look at
01:13:30.441 --> 01:13:34.728
that's maybe pushing you
to sacrifice the present moment
01:13:36.328 --> 01:13:37.592
for the future, you see?
01:13:38.338 --> 01:13:39.764
so we need to look at this
01:13:39.940 --> 01:13:42.901
this is what I had to wake up from
01:13:44.095 --> 01:13:46.434
9:00 to 5:00 retirement plan
01:13:47.542 --> 01:13:53.656
two garage house a nice family
and you know these kind of
01:13:54.506 --> 01:13:57.342
what do they call it, American,
America dream
01:13:58.995 --> 01:14:00.916
is this still called the American dream?
01:14:02.551 --> 01:14:05.125
so these are things, with the practice,
01:14:05.479 --> 01:14:08.254
with the deep looking,
we begin to look at work
01:14:09.402 --> 01:14:12.983
so I'm sharing is also
the meaning while you work
01:14:13.255 --> 01:14:17.567
and it is also looking
at our relationship with the watch
01:14:18.587 --> 01:14:20.593
with your planner, your schedule
01:14:20.593 --> 01:14:22.155
these are things that you learn
01:14:22.725 --> 01:14:25.381
and we become very mechanical
01:14:26.543 --> 01:14:29.181
and we don't know why we do it
01:14:29.402 --> 01:14:32.194
we just wake up, do it, do it, do it
01:14:32.750 --> 01:14:34.287
and so we need to look at this
01:14:34.627 --> 01:14:38.896
so find time,
so I encourage all the families, everyone
01:14:39.288 --> 01:14:40.954
to, you know, reduce a little bit
01:14:42.320 --> 01:14:48.382
you don't need to have everything,
just enough
01:14:49.520 --> 01:14:53.909
and if you do succeed,
use that to help other people
01:14:55.114 --> 01:14:58.147
and that will bring
more meaning to your work
01:14:58.693 --> 01:15:02.158
you see that the cycle
it needs to go in circle like this
01:15:03.282 --> 01:15:05.914
you know the system now
is very capitalistic
01:15:06.171 --> 01:15:08.265
to save, save, save, hold everything
01:15:08.886 --> 01:15:11.030
and you see,
there's only a certain amount
01:15:11.541 --> 01:15:14.857
and after that,
the happiness don't increase
01:15:15.700 --> 01:15:18.014
I think more and more we know that, right?
01:15:18.619 --> 01:15:24.709
after 10 shirts that you have, it's become
very hm, another shirt, another shirt
01:15:25.740 --> 01:15:28.539
so please know why you're working
01:15:28.693 --> 01:15:33.879
and how much you should work
to maintain kind of enough for your family
01:15:34.233 --> 01:15:38.594
so that you don't sacrifice
your present moment, happiness
01:15:38.782 --> 01:15:42.005
with your family, with your loved one,
with helping other people
01:15:42.912 --> 01:15:46.968
so your time is not just to...,
you should spend meaningfully
01:15:47.218 --> 01:15:50.053
to help other people,
to help your friends,
01:15:50.166 --> 01:15:53.670
your relatives, your brothers
and sisters, other families
01:15:55.315 --> 01:16:00.227
so you might have work
that might not be the most meaningful
01:16:00.899 --> 01:16:04.197
but it pays your thing
and then you take the money
01:16:04.398 --> 01:16:06.782
you take some of the time
and you help, you see
01:16:07.693 --> 01:16:14.411
so don't try to always, you have to find
the work that is the most meaningful
01:16:15.211 --> 01:16:17.490
in fact the meaning is
what you put into it
01:16:18.269 --> 01:16:20.378
so you could be a bus driver
01:16:21.208 --> 01:16:23.177
and you could be a very good bus driver
01:16:24.240 --> 01:16:28.215
if you remove the idea that you have
to be a successful businessperson
01:16:29.507 --> 01:16:30.420
you see the work
01:16:31.300 --> 01:16:34.311
you enjoy washing your dishes,
driving the bus
01:16:35.243 --> 01:16:40.282
so it's all based
on the quality of your attitude
01:16:41.151 --> 01:16:42.724
and you can always learn more
01:16:44.054 --> 01:16:44.845
thank you
01:16:48.630 --> 01:16:49.343
[gong]
01:16:51.849 --> 01:17:00.523
[gong]
01:17:20.776 --> 01:17:25.673
(in Japanese)
01:17:39.817 --> 01:17:42.488
dear Thay, dear brothers
and sisters, dear friends
01:17:44.588 --> 01:17:45.685
he asked the question
01:17:46.669 --> 01:17:52.211
is there any condition
to make people satisfied
01:17:52.490 --> 01:17:53.750
and then become happy
01:17:54.357 --> 01:17:59.025
is there any conditions
that can make people satisfied
01:17:59.320 --> 01:18:00.524
and they feel happy
01:18:22.671 --> 01:18:29.391
Dear Thay, dear... what's your name?
Ray? dear Ray,
01:18:30.616 --> 01:18:33.236
arigato for your question
01:18:40.849 --> 01:18:44.632
so this question is very important
01:18:46.748 --> 01:18:52.318
and we know the Buddha
sat with this question as well
01:18:55.494 --> 01:19:01.147
he asked himself is there any
condition for my fulfillment
01:19:01.920 --> 01:19:03.619
for my complete happiness
01:19:05.899 --> 01:19:13.624
and at that time
he had a wife and he had a child
01:19:15.456 --> 01:19:19.193
and he had a pretty good career
01:19:19.676 --> 01:19:23.791
maybe he was gonna be
the chief of his village, like his father
01:19:27.538 --> 01:19:29.672
so he seemed to have many good conditions
01:19:31.563 --> 01:19:34.729
that most people spend their whole life
trying to obtain
01:19:37.763 --> 01:19:40.028
thinking that that will
bring them happiness
01:19:41.262 --> 01:19:42.443
and yet he wasn't happy
01:19:44.693 --> 01:19:46.748
and that's why we're all here today
01:19:48.192 --> 01:19:55.601
because he saw that those conditions
were not sufficient for his happiness,
01:19:56.123 --> 01:19:57.316
for his true happiness
01:19:59.841 --> 01:20:04.326
and so he decided
to leave behind his family
01:20:05.187 --> 01:20:06.409
to cut his hair
01:20:08.165 --> 01:20:10.942
and to live in the forest
01:20:12.950 --> 01:20:16.728
he tried looking
for roots in the ground to eat
01:20:19.356 --> 01:20:22.112
he went to live
in different spiritual communities
01:20:22.661 --> 01:20:24.514
and he always sat with that question
01:20:25.275 --> 01:20:26.892
how can I find true happiness?
01:20:27.894 --> 01:20:31.560
or another way to phrase is,
why is there suffering?
01:20:32.638 --> 01:20:35.580
what is the nature of this suffering?
01:20:38.475 --> 01:20:40.923
and our teacher Thay,
01:20:41.147 --> 01:20:45.449
he often talked about the happiness
and suffering like the sides of a coin
01:20:46.338 --> 01:20:49.077
you cannot have happiness
without suffering
01:20:50.032 --> 01:20:54.756
you cannot even imagine suffering
without happiness
01:20:55.036 --> 01:20:56.363
they inter are
01:20:58.483 --> 01:21:03.508
it means that, looking into our situation
of suffering, we can find happiness
01:21:05.368 --> 01:21:08.146
so you could say that suffering
is a kind of condition
01:21:09.022 --> 01:21:11.422
that can lead us to happiness
01:21:20.324 --> 01:21:24.624
actually as monks and nuns I know myself
and many of my brothers and sisters
01:21:24.758 --> 01:21:26.224
we also ask this question
01:21:27.996 --> 01:21:31.991
because actually we can get quite
comfortable as a monk or nun
01:21:34.140 --> 01:21:39.027
you see, here in Plum Village we eat
delicious vegetarian food
01:21:40.643 --> 01:21:44.768
and we live with many people
who are very understanding
01:21:46.000 --> 01:21:47.547
very compassionate very kind
01:21:48.246 --> 01:21:49.818
smiling a lot
01:21:51.428 --> 01:21:54.423
and we don't have to do too much work
01:21:57.943 --> 01:22:00.711
at least we don't get fired
if we don't do too much work
01:22:08.638 --> 01:22:12.598
so, actually many people come here
because they think
01:22:12.598 --> 01:22:15.332
wow, these are good conditions
for me to be happy
01:22:17.946 --> 01:22:19.040
and then
01:22:21.614 --> 01:22:24.008
and then they find out
they have to live together
01:22:25.568 --> 01:22:28.886
with other people
for the rest of their life
01:22:38.595 --> 01:22:41.612
and they start saying why?
look at Thay, Thay teaches this
01:22:41.612 --> 01:22:46.290
but look, look... they look and they say..
01:22:46.613 --> 01:22:50.613
and so, somehow, even if they have
all these good conditions
01:22:51.375 --> 01:22:58.708
of good food, place to sleep,
go to the doctor if they're sick
01:22:59.457 --> 01:23:01.014
but they still are not happy
01:23:02.329 --> 01:23:05.993
they're not able to live together
with their brothers and sisters
01:23:06.994 --> 01:23:10.913
and that is a pity
01:23:13.316 --> 01:23:15.428
and so we have to sometimes look and see
01:23:18.094 --> 01:23:21.769
is my happiness dependent
on outside conditions?
01:23:23.001 --> 01:23:24.286
even here in Plum Village
01:23:25.215 --> 01:23:27.277
we have to ask ourselves because we have..
01:23:27.923 --> 01:23:31.415
you know monks and nuns, they haven't
always enjoyed such good conditions
01:23:31.882 --> 01:23:35.576
as we have in Plum Village to practice
01:23:36.263 --> 01:23:42.610
sometimes they lived
in a very authoritarian regime
01:23:43.296 --> 01:23:47.264
where they wanted to destroy
the Buddhist temples
01:23:48.139 --> 01:23:51.000
they wanted to make the monks and nuns
marry each other
01:23:51.376 --> 01:23:53.868
to give up the celibate life
01:23:55.017 --> 01:23:58.027
that happened many times
in history of Buddhism
01:23:58.167 --> 01:24:01.166
and that continues to happen
today, in some places
01:24:03.864 --> 01:24:06.693
and so even in those conditions,
01:24:07.063 --> 01:24:10.789
those monks and nuns were able
to touch deep happiness
01:24:11.589 --> 01:24:17.274
even like, I remember always a story of
one of Thay's students who was put in jail
01:24:19.099 --> 01:24:26.533
She only had a little bit of space, and
she practiced walking meditation every day
01:24:27.299 --> 01:24:29.790
just breathing, and being with her step
01:24:31.058 --> 01:24:33.800
and she was able to generate happiness
01:24:34.735 --> 01:24:37.986
even just in that tiny space
with only a little food to eat
01:24:38.898 --> 01:24:42.451
she kept her mind clear
and she enjoyed every step
01:24:43.538 --> 01:24:46.675
and so anytime that I feel
that I'm a little bit upset
01:24:46.835 --> 01:24:49.856
because my conditions of happiness
are not sufficient
01:24:50.232 --> 01:24:53.187
then I remember that nun,
practicing in the jail
01:24:54.051 --> 01:24:55.877
and I feel a little bit of shame
01:24:56.562 --> 01:25:00.064
how could I be so greedy
01:25:03.112 --> 01:25:09.898
and that helps me to remove
the external conditions of happiness
01:25:10.983 --> 01:25:17.913
and to see that actually I can generate
a kind of unconditioned happiness
01:25:20.643 --> 01:25:25.133
something that's not dependent
on external or even internal conditions
01:25:27.348 --> 01:25:28.759
and sometimes we touch that
01:25:28.997 --> 01:25:30.376
that is a beautiful moment
01:25:30.605 --> 01:25:33.603
when you touch that
you need to remember it
01:25:33.603 --> 01:25:35.937
maybe you stop and you take 12 breaths
01:25:38.161 --> 01:25:40.710
my happiness has not come from anywhere
01:25:42.215 --> 01:25:44.900
and my happiness is not going anywhere
01:25:46.500 --> 01:25:48.308
there are moments like that in life
01:25:49.725 --> 01:25:54.041
and in my experience,
when we practice they become more and more
01:25:54.727 --> 01:25:56.636
and bigger and longer
01:25:57.335 --> 01:25:59.438
and that's why I love the practice so much
01:26:00.256 --> 01:26:03.011
because touching this kind
of unconditioned happiness
01:26:05.141 --> 01:26:06.292
but it takes practice
01:26:06.824 --> 01:26:10.984
because we are conditioned
to like conditioning
01:26:12.541 --> 01:26:15.547
we are conditioned to like our habits
01:26:15.927 --> 01:26:19.888
even people condition themselves
to like their own suffering
01:26:20.865 --> 01:26:21.871
can you imagine that?
01:26:22.932 --> 01:26:25.672
they fall in love with their own
situation of suffering
01:26:27.324 --> 01:26:31.259
and when you want to help them to come
out of it, they prefer to stay there
01:26:33.123 --> 01:26:39.352
and that is a funny quality
of human beings
01:26:41.660 --> 01:26:45.805
so keep that question,
it's a beautiful question
01:26:47.121 --> 01:26:48.138
like the Buddha
01:26:48.557 --> 01:26:55.617
you can be a Buddha and ask,
what is this unconditioned happiness?
01:26:56.386 --> 01:26:58.026
keep asking yourself that question
01:26:58.396 --> 01:26:59.706
you look at your suffering
01:27:02.816 --> 01:27:06.019
you see it transform and you hold it there
01:27:06.493 --> 01:27:07.614
it's very beautiful
01:27:08.926 --> 01:27:11.647
that's the secret of the universe, okay?
01:27:13.282 --> 01:27:14.102
good luck
01:27:21.458 --> 01:27:23.998
dear friends it's quarter after 11
01:27:24.907 --> 01:27:29.224
and we have a beautiful walk
for the community today
01:27:29.391 --> 01:27:33.312
to go down to Son Ha
and enjoy the garden there
01:27:33.572 --> 01:27:34.782
and maybe some music
01:27:35.509 --> 01:27:39.087
so we know there are other
questions to be asked
01:27:39.319 --> 01:27:43.809
and we encourage you to bring the
question up in your Dharma sharing group
01:27:44.520 --> 01:27:47.605
if you feel courageous enough
01:27:48.419 --> 01:27:52.411
there are also wonderful other monks
and nuns who can share their experience
01:27:52.722 --> 01:27:55.317
and help with the question
01:27:55.493 --> 01:27:59.233
there are also a number of written
questions we didn't get to
01:28:00.036 --> 01:28:04.782
I will give them to the brother or sister
giving the Dharma talk tomorrow
01:28:05.155 --> 01:28:06.722
so they can keep it in mind
01:28:08.618 --> 01:28:12.981
and hopefully be able to
answer the question in the talk tomorrow
01:28:13.638 --> 01:28:17.271
so I'd like to thank my elder brothers
and sisters for coming up here today
01:28:17.851 --> 01:28:19.290
and sharing their experience
01:28:19.568 --> 01:28:22.552
and thank you all, for we do this together
01:28:22.810 --> 01:28:25.169
this is a process of deep looking
and we continue
01:28:25.395 --> 01:28:31.845
as we finish the last two days
of this third week together
01:28:33.149 --> 01:28:35.895
we will finish by listening
to three sounds of the Bell