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Failing at Normal: An ADHD Success Story | Jessica McCabe | TEDxBratislava

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    Hello brains!
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    I say that to you because...
    if you think about it.
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    It wasn't really you
    that decided to come here today.
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    It was your brain.
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    And whether you decided
    to walk or drive, take a taxi, ride a bike
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    That decision was decided
    by your brain.
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    Behavior, all behavior,
    is affected by your brain.
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    This is a story about my brain.
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    So, I was a smart kid. By 18 months I
    was speaking in full sentences.
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    By third grade I was scoring
    post high school on standardized tests.
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    I had as all my teacher's agreed,
    so much potential.
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    I was also struggling.
    I didn't have many... any friends.
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    Outside of books.
    I was easily overwhelmed.
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    I spaced out in class.
    I lost things, constantly.
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    And trying to get my brain to focus on
    something I wasn't excited about...
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    was like trying to nail Jell-O
    to the wall.
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    But I was smart.
    So nobody was worried.
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    It wasn't until middle school
    when I was responsible for
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    getting myself to classes on time,
    and remembering to bring my own homework.
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    That being smart wasn't enough anymore,
    and my grades started to suffer.
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    My mom took me to the doctor
    and after a comprehensive evaluation.
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    I was diagnosed with
    attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder.
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    ADHD.
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    If you're not familiar with ADHD
    it has three primary characteristics.
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    Inattention, impulsivity,
    and hyperactivity.
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    Some people with ADHD
    have more of the inattentive presentation.
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    Those are the daydreamers,
    the space cadets.
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    Some have more of
    the hyperactive/impulsive presentation.
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    Those are the kids that usually
    get diagnosed early.
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    But, the most common presentation
    is a combination of both.
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    My doctor and my parents decided
    that given my shiny new diagnosis.
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    Maybe stimulant medication would succeed,
    where spankings and lectures had failed.
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    So I tried it.
    And it worked.
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    The first time I took my medication
    it was like putting on glasses.
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    And realizing I could see,
    without squinting.
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    I could focus!
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    Without changing anything
    my GPA went up a full point.
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    Honestly it was kind of miraculous.
    By 14 I had friends, that liked me.
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    By 15 I had published my first poem.
    I got a boyfriend.
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    By 17 I knew I wanted
    to be a journalist.
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    My local college had a program that would
    guarantee admission to USC.
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    They had a really
    great journalism program.
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    So, I signed up at my local college
    and I started taking classes.
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    I moved in with my boyfriend.
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    Things were going great!
    ...until they weren't.
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    I started having trouble making it
    to class on time.
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    I aced a statistics course,
    but I forgot to sign up in time.
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    So, I never got the credit.
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    I took classes so I could help
    my boyfriend with his career.
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    But I completely lost sight of mine.
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    I never made it to USC...
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    By 21 I dropped out of college
    and moved back home.
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    Over the next ten years I started
    and quit, or was fired from 15 jobs.
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    I ruined my credit.
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    I got married!
    And was divorced within a year.
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    At this point I was 32, and I
    had no idea what I was doing with my life.
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    Besides reading self-help books
    that didn't seem to be helping.
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    What happened to all that potential?
    Was I not trying?
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    No, I worked harder than anyone I knew,
    I didn't even have time for friends.
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    I was that busy.
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    I had potential, though...
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    So my failure was clearly my fault.
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    I just hadn't done what I needed to do
    to reach it and honestly....
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    I was tired of trying, putting more effort
    into life than everyone else.
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    And falling farther
    and farther behind.
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    At this point I could
    have given up on myself.
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    I could have decided that everyone who
    thought I had potential, was wrong.
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    But, I didn't, because I knew that it was
    my behavior that had gotten me here.
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    And behavior is affected by the brain.
    And my brain has ADHD.
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    Looking at my behavior
    I knew...
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    Even with medication,
    even as an adult.
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    My ADHD was still interfering
    with my life.
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    What I needed to know
    was how, and why.
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    And more importantly,
    what could I do about it.
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    I started to do some research.
    And I found a lot of great information.
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    I found a lot of bad information too,
    but that's another talk.
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    But there's good information out there.
    Websites, podcasts,
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    talks, by researchers
    and medical professionals.
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    Books that would of been way more helpful
    than the self-help books I've been using.
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    That were clearly written for normal...
    well, there is no normal.
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    Neurotypical brains.
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    A lot of what I found though
    was either really technical.
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    Or seemed like it was written for parents,
    and teachers trying to deal with ADHD kids
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    There wasn't a lot that seemed to be
    intended for us, the people who have ADHD.
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    So, I started a YouTube channel.
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    I had no idea how to start
    a YouTube channel.
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    But, I started a YouTube channel
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    I almost called it "How Not To ADHD"
    because that was all I knew at the time.
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    But my boyfriend, Edward,
    talked me out of it.
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    It turns out lots of people need help
    understanding ADHD.
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    Including, maybe especially,
    those who actually have it.
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    I was no exception.
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    I thought having ADHD
    was kind of the same for everybody.
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    I thought it was mostly
    about getting distracted.
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    I thought that maybe having ADHD was the
    reason that I was failing at life.
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    And I thought I was what needed to change
    in order to be successful.
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    I couldn't be successful,
    and still be me.
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    Spoilers.
    I was wrong.
Title:
Failing at Normal: An ADHD Success Story | Jessica McCabe | TEDxBratislava
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Video Language:
English
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Duration:
17:12

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