0:01:22.909,9:59:59.000 Hello brains! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I say that to you because...[br]if you think about it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It wasn't really you[br]that decided to come here today. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It was your brain. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And whether you decided [br]to walk or drive, take a taxi, ride a bike 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That decision was decided[br]by your brain. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Behavior, all behavior,[br]is affected by your brain. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 This is a story about my brain. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So, I was a smart kid. By 18 months I[br]was speaking in full sentences. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 By third grade I was scoring [br]post high school on standardized tests. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I had as all my teacher's agreed,[br]so much potential. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I was also struggling.[br]I didn't have many... any friends. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Outside of books.[br]I was easily overwhelmed. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I spaced out in class.[br]I lost things, constantly. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And trying to get my brain to focus on [br]something I wasn't excited about... 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 was like trying to nail Jell-O[br]to the wall. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I was smart.[br]So nobody was worried. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It wasn't until middle school [br]when I was responsible for 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 getting myself to classes on time,[br]and remembering to bring my own homework. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That being smart wasn't enough anymore,[br]and my grades started to suffer. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 My mom took me to the doctor[br]and after a comprehensive evaluation. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I was diagnosed with[br]attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 ADHD. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 If you're not familiar with ADHD [br]it has three primary characteristics. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Inattention, impulsivity, [br]and hyperactivity. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Some people with ADHD [br]have more of the inattentive presentation. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Those are the daydreamers,[br]the space cadets. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Some have more of [br]the hyperactive/impulsive presentation. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Those are the kids that usually[br]get diagnosed early. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But, the most common presentation[br]is a combination of both. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 My doctor and my parents decided [br]that given my shiny new diagnosis. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Maybe stimulant medication would succeed,[br]where spankings and lectures had failed. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So I tried it.[br]And it worked. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 The first time I took my medication [br]it was like putting on glasses. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And realizing I could see, [br]without squinting. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I could focus! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Without changing anything [br]my GPA went up a full point. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Honestly it was kind of miraculous.[br]By 14 I had friends, that liked me. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 By 15 I had published my first poem.[br]I got a boyfriend. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 By 17 I knew I wanted [br]to be a journalist. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 My local college had a program that would[br]guarantee admission to USC. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 They had a really [br]great journalism program. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So, I signed up at my local college[br]and I started taking classes. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I moved in with my boyfriend. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Things were going great![br]...until they weren't. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I started having trouble making it [br]to class on time. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I aced a statistics course, [br]but I forgot to sign up in time. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So, I never got the credit. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I took classes so I could help[br]my boyfriend with his career. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But I completely lost sight of mine. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I never made it to USC... 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 By 21 I dropped out of college[br]and moved back home. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Over the next ten years I started[br]and quit, or was fired from 15 jobs. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I ruined my credit. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I got married![br]And was divorced within a year. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 At this point I was 32, and I [br]had no idea what I was doing with my life. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Besides reading self-help books[br]that didn't seem to be helping. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 What happened to all that potential?[br]Was I not trying? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 No, I worked harder than anyone I knew,[br]I didn't even have time for friends. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I was that busy. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I had potential, though... 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So my failure was clearly my fault. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I just hadn't done what I needed to do [br]to reach it and honestly.... 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I was tired of trying, putting more effort[br]into life than everyone else. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And falling farther[br]and farther behind. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 At this point I could[br]have given up on myself. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I could have decided that everyone who[br]thought I had potential, was wrong. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But, I didn't, because I knew that it was[br]my behavior that had gotten me here. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And behavior is affected by the brain.[br]And my brain has ADHD. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Looking at my behavior[br]I knew... 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Even with medication, [br]even as an adult. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 My ADHD was still interfering[br]with my life. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 What I needed to know[br]was how, and why. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And more importantly,[br]what could I do about it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I started to do some research.[br]And I found a lot of great information. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I found a lot of bad information too,[br]but that's another talk. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But there's good information out there.[br]Websites, podcasts, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 talks, by researchers [br]and medical professionals. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Books that would of been way more helpful[br]than the self-help books I've been using. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That were clearly written for normal...[br]well, there is no normal. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Neurotypical brains. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 A lot of what I found though [br]was either really technical. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Or seemed like it was written for parents,[br]and teachers trying to deal with ADHD kids 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 There wasn't a lot that seemed to be [br]intended for us, the people who have ADHD. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So, I started a YouTube channel. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I had no idea how to start[br]a YouTube channel. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But, I started a YouTube channel 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I almost called it "How Not To ADHD"[br]because that was all I knew at the time. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But my boyfriend, Edward, [br]talked me out of it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It turns out lots of people need help[br]understanding ADHD. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Including, maybe especially,[br]those who actually have it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I was no exception. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I thought having ADHD[br]was kind of the same for everybody. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I thought it was mostly[br]about getting distracted. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I thought that maybe having ADHD was the[br]reason that I was failing at life. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I thought I was what needed to change[br]in order to be successful. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I couldn't be successful,[br]and still be me. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Spoilers.[br]I was wrong.