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Failing at Normal: An ADHD Success Story | Jessica McCabe | TEDxBratislava

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    (Introduction music plays)
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    Hello brains!
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    I say that to you because...
    if you think about it.
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    It wasn't really you
    that decided to come here today.
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    It was your brain.
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    And whether you decided
    to walk or drive, take a taxi, ride a bike
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    That decision was decided
    by your brain.
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    Behavior, all behavior,
    is affected by the brain.
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    This is a story about my brain.
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    So, I was a smart kid. By 18 months I
    was speaking in full sentences.
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    By third grade I was scoring
    post high school on standardized tests.
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    I had as all my teacher's agreed,
    so much potential.
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    I was also struggling.
    I didn't have many... any friends.
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    Outside of books.
    I was easily overwhelmed.
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    I spaced out in class.
    I lost things, constantly.
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    And trying to get my brain to focus on
    something I wasn't excited about...
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    was like trying to nail Jell-O
    to the wall.
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    But I was smart.
    So nobody was worried.
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    It wasn't until middle school
    when I was responsible for
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    getting myself to classes on time,
    and remembering to bring my own homework.
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    That being smart wasn't enough anymore,
    and my grades started to suffer.
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    My mom took me to the doctor
    and after a comprehensive evaluation.
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    I was diagnosed with
    attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder.
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    ADHD.
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    If you're not familiar with ADHD
    it has three primary characteristics.
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    Inattention, impulsivity,
    and hyperactivity.
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    Some people with ADHD
    have more of the inattentive presentation.
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    Those are the daydreamers,
    the space cadets.
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    Some have more of
    the hyperactive/impulsive presentation.
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    Those are the kids that usually
    get diagnosed early.
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    But, the most common presentation
    is a combination of both.
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    My doctor and my parents decided
    that given my shiny new diagnosis.
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    Maybe stimulant medication would succeed,
    where spankings and lectures had failed.
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    So I tried it.
    And it worked.
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    The first time I took my medication
    it was like putting on glasses.
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    And realizing I could see,
    without squinting.
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    I could focus!
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    Without changing anything
    my GPA went up a full point.
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    Honestly it was kind of miraculous.
    By 14 I had friends, that liked me.
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    By 15 I had published my first poem.
    I got a boyfriend.
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    By 17 I knew I wanted
    to be a journalist.
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    My local college had a program that would
    guarantee admission to USC.
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    They had a really
    great journalism program.
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    So, I signed up at my local college
    and I started taking classes.
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    I moved in with my boyfriend.
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    Things were going great!
    ...until they weren't.
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    I started having trouble making it
    to class on time.
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    I aced a statistics course,
    but I forgot to sign up in time.
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    So, I never got the credit.
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    I took classes so I could help
    my boyfriend with his career.
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    But I completely lost sight of mine.
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    I never made it to USC...
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    By 21 I dropped out of college
    and moved back home.
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    Over the next ten years I started
    and quit, or was fired from 15 jobs.
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    I ruined my credit.
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    I got married!
    And was divorced within a year.
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    At this point I was 32, and I
    had no idea what I was doing with my life.
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    Besides reading self-help books
    that didn't seem to be helping.
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    What happened to all that potential?
    Was I not trying?
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    No, I worked harder than anyone I knew,
    I didn't even have time for friends.
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    I was that busy.
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    I had potential, though...
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    So my failure was clearly my fault.
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    I just hadn't done what I needed to do
    to reach it and honestly....
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    I was tired of trying, putting more effort
    into life than everyone else.
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    And falling farther
    and farther behind.
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    At this point I could
    have given up on myself.
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    I could have decided that everyone who
    thought I had potential, was wrong.
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    But, I didn't, because I knew that it was
    my behavior that had gotten me here.
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    And behavior is affected by the brain.
    And my brain has ADHD.
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    Looking at my behavior
    I knew...
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    Even with medication,
    even as an adult.
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    My ADHD was still interfering
    with my life.
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    What I needed to know
    was how, and why.
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    And more importantly,
    what could I do about it.
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    I started to do some research.
    And I found a lot of great information.
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    I found a lot of bad information too,
    but that's another talk.
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    But there's good information out there.
    Websites, podcasts,
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    talks, by researchers
    and medical professionals.
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    Books that would of been way more helpful
    than the self-help books I've been using.
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    That were clearly written for normal...
    well, there is no normal.
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    Neurotypical brains.
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    A lot of what I found though
    was either really technical.
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    Or seemed like it was written for parents,
    and teachers trying to deal with ADHD kids
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    There wasn't a lot that seemed to be
    intended for us, the people who have ADHD.
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    So, I started a YouTube channel.
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    I had no idea how to start
    a YouTube channel.
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    But, I started a YouTube channel
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    I almost called it "How Not To ADHD"
    because that was all I knew at the time.
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    But my boyfriend, Edward,
    talked me out of it.
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    It turns out lots of people need help
    understanding ADHD.
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    Including, maybe especially,
    those who actually have it.
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    I was no exception.
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    I thought having ADHD
    was kind of the same for everybody.
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    I thought it was mostly
    about getting distracted.
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    I thought that maybe having ADHD was the
    reason that I was failing at life.
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    And I thought I was what needed to change
    in order to be successful.
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    I couldn't be successful,
    and still be me.
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    Spoilers.
    I was wrong.
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    So, lets go back for a second.
    Back to what brought us here today
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    The brain.
    Understanding the brain you're
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    working with, it turns out
    is kind of important.
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    And, that's true whether that brain is
    your employees, your students,
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    your kids, your significant others,
    or your own.
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    ADHD affects between
    5 and 8% of the global population.
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    Which means statistically speaking there's
    between 37 and 60 of us just in this room.
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    You can't tell who we are just by looking
    but its fun to watch you try.
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    (Laughter)
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    So at some point you're going
    to meet someone with ADHD.
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    Work with them, give birth to them,
    or fall in love with them.
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    Chances are you already have.
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    And at some point,
    you're going to ask yourself.
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    What is going on in their brain?
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    So, after two years of learning about
    ADHD and a lifetime of experience with it
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    After having the honor of connecting with
    researchers, and doctors, and ADHD experts
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    and tens of thousands
    of ADHD brains all over the world.
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    What can I tell you,
    to help you understand ADHD?
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    By the way, many of them
    helped with this talk.
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    First of all its real.
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    It's not bad parenting
    or lack of discipline.
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    ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder.
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    It's currently the most
    well researched mental condition.
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    And, there are actually measurable
    differences in the brain.
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    These differences are larger in children,
    but for most people they never go away.
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    In other words,
    adults have ADHD too.
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    While rates of the ADHD diagnosis
    are increasing.
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    It's not because of an increase
    in sugar, or technology.
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    Or... lack of spanking.
    It's not.
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    Anymore than people drowning in
    swimming pools is because of Nicholas Cage
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    Correlation does not equal causation.
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    Those are real numbers.
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    (Audience laughter)
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    It's from both an increase
    in understanding that ADHD exists.
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    That girls, adults, and gifted students
    can have it too.
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    And ironically a lack of understanding
    that being hyper, misbehaving,
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    or struggling in school
    does not mean that you have ADHD.
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    ADHD is more serious than I realized.
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    The primary characteristics of inattention
    impulsivity, and hyperactivity.
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    Don't sound all that serious,
    and I didn't think that they were.
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    But in real life they translate into
    people getting into more accidents.
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    Being more likely to get fired,
    get divorced.
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    Significantly more likely
    to struggle with addiction.
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    I learned that ADHD is on a spectrum.
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    Raise your hand
    if you've ever lost your keys.
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    Or spaced out in the
    middle of a lecture.
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    If you're not raising your hand I'm
    going to assume you spaced out
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    in the middle of this one.
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    (Audience laughter)
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    The thing is while everyone experiences
    ADHD symptoms sometimes.
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    An actual diagnosis is based on how many
    of those symptoms significantly,
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    and chronically impair
    multiple aspects of your life.
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    Just like you can get sad
    and not have depression.
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    You can get distracted
    and not have ADHD.
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    And just like you can have
    mild depression, or severe depression.
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    ADHD can range
    from mild to severe.
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    I also learned ADHD is a
    terrible name for ADHD.
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    It creates a lot of confusion.
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    We don't have a deficit of attention.
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    What we have trouble with
    is regulating our attention.
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    As ADHD coach Brett Thornhill puts it,
    it's like your brain keeps switching
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    between 30 different channels,
    and somebody else has the remote.
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    Sometimes we have a hard time
    focusing at all.
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    And other times we get stuck on a
    channel, and can't pull ourselves away.
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    In real life this might look like we just
    don't want to do homework because we'de
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    rather play video games,
    and sure sometimes that's the case.
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    But, the truth is, there are plenty of
    times we want to be able to focus, we try.
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    And we just can't.
    Current understanding is
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    that this difficulty has to do with the
    way our brains produce,
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    and metabolize neurotransmitters,
    like dopamine, and norepinephrine.
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    I learned ADHD is highly treatable.
    Stimulant medication boosts
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    these neurotransmitters,
    Which is why it helps us focus.
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    It's very effective for around 80%,
    of people with ADHD.
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    And I learned that medication
    isn't enough.
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    ADHD affects much more than our focus,
    it impairs executive functions
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    like planning, prioritizing and the
    ability to sustain effort towards a goal.
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    It affects our ability to regulate
    our emotions, our behavior, our sleep.
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    It's not one program in our brain
    that it works differently.
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    It's the whole operating system.
    It can effect every aspect of our lives.
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    And there are a ton of strategies
    out there, that can help.
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    Cognitive Behavior Therapy,
    coaching, even meditation,
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    or regular exercise can
    make a huge difference.
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    Understanding your brain.
    I knew I had trouble focusing,
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    and I knew my medication
    helped with that.
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    What I didn't know was that getting
    overwhelmed all the time had to do
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    with poor working memory.
    And that making lists helps.
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    Or that the reason that I ran late all
    the time isn't because I didn't care.
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    ADHDer's have a skewed sense of time.
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    And that using a timer could teach me
    how long thing's actually take.
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    Mostly, I expected to learn
    what I actually learned.
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    That ADHD is real.
    Addressing it is important.
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    And medication is not enough.
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    What I didn't expect to learn
    that I wasn't alone.
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    I had an ADHD tribe.
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    What a difference it would make
    to connect with it.
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    There are people with ADHD in every
    country, every culture across the globe.
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    Yes, even in France.
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    (Delayed laughter)
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    And this tribe is awesome.
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    Comparing myself to people
    with neurotypical brains,
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    I felt really bad about myself.
    Why couldn't I keep my house clean?
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    Or, finish a project in time instead of
    waiting until the very last second.
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    But seeing the positive
    in fellow ADHD brains.
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    Helped me recognize,
    and appreciate my own strenths.
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    One's that I couldn't see when I was
    just staring at my weaknesses.
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    Which is what I
    had been doing for decades.
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    But ADHD, ADHD brains
    have a lot to offer the world.
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    We tend to be generous,
    funny, creative.
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    ADHDer's are 300% more likely
    to start their own business.
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    We not only think
    outside the box.
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    We're often not even aware
    there is a box.
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    (Audience laughter)
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    We may struggle when
    our brains aren't engaged.
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    But ADHD brains are great
    at tackling tasks that are urgent.
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    Working with ideas that are new.
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    Wrestling with problems
    that are challenging.
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    And dedicating themselves to projects
    that are of personal interest.
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    This YouTube career I'd stumbled
    into was all of those things.
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    At 32 I was divorced, miserable and had
    no idea what I was doing with my life.
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    At 33 I started my own business
    and was connecting with ADHD experts.
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    By now, at 34 I have a team of volunteers
    helping me with the channel.
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    And I'm engaged to this amazing man,
    who helps me produce the channel.
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    Works right alongside with me
    is doing the slides right now.
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    And as we discovered
    also has ADHD.
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    (Audience laughter)
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    I'm working on reaching out to schools
    so that kids don't have to wait
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    until they're 32 to learn
    about their brains.
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    And I'm doing my very first Ted X talk
    here with you today.
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    (Audience applause)
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    But wait there's more.
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    That did sound like the end of the speech.
    I'm sorry it's not.
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    I'm happier and more successful
    than I've ever been in my life.
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    So what happened?
    How did I reach my potential?
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    Three things.
    One I learned about my brain.
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    My ADHD brain both on my own
    and by connecting with others who have it.
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    If you judge a fish by it's ability
    to climb a tree.
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    It will live it's whole life
    believing that it is stupid.
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    Unless it happens to chat
    with another fish.
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    And realizes fish aren't great
    at climbing trees.
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    And that's okay.
    There's plenty of ocean.
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    Two, In learning about my brain I found
    and stumbled into a job that engages it.
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    If you spend all your time trying to
    get a fish to be able to climb a tree,
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    you'll never see how far it can swim.
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    It turns out, I can be me
    and still be successful.
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    I just had to find
    my ocean.
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    Three, I learned strategies for
    the challenges I still face.
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    I have no fish analogy for this one.
    I am sorry.
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    I guess I learned how to swim.
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    Once you know what
    your brains challenges are.
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    You can find solutions to them.
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    Once you look past the stereotypes and
    assumptions about people with ADHD.
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    And dig deeper.
    You learn what ADHD actually is.
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    It's not people who wont stop fidgeting,
    or getting distracted.
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    It's brains that are
    chronically under aroused.
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    Trying to get the basic
    stimulation that all brains need.
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    It's not about procrastinating
    or not caring.
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    It's having executive function deficits
    that make it hard to get started.
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    And it's not people being lazy,
    or not trying enough.
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    It's kids and adults struggling to succeed
    with a brain that doesn't
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    always want to cooperate.
    In a society that wasn't built for them.
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    Society is our user's manual.
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    We learn how our brains and bodies work
    by watching those around us.
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    When yours works differently,
    it can feel like you're broken.
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    So what I'm trying to do,
    is reach out to these people.
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    Wherever they are in the world,
    and tell them you are not weird.
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    You are not stupid.
    You do not need to try harder.
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    You are not a failed version of normal.
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    You are different, you are beautiful,
    and you are not alone.
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    If you don't have ADHD yourself chances
    are you know somebody who does.
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    Their your employee, your boss,
    your friend, they're in this room.
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    I hope this talk helps you
    understand them better.
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    If you do have ADHD.
    Welcome to the tribe.
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    (Audience applause)
Title:
Failing at Normal: An ADHD Success Story | Jessica McCabe | TEDxBratislava
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Video Language:
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Duration:
17:12

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