Mindfulness and neural integration | Daniel Siegel, MD | TEDxStudioCityED

This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences.

Exploring Relationships and Reflection in the Cultivation of Well-Being.

Daniel Siegel, MD, is Clinical Professor of psychiatry at UCLA, Co-Director of Mindful Awareness Research Center, Executive Director of Mindsight Institute, author, and recipient of numerous awards and honorary fellowships.

This talk examines how relationships and reflection support the development of resilience in children and serve as the basic "3 Rs" of a new internal education of the mind.

Thank you.

Good morning, that was beautiful.

You know, right before Fred Rogers died,

his team had actually contacted me

to try to present the case

for why television should keep
at the pace of Mr. Rogers' neighborhood.

So we were about to plan that whole thing
and then he passed away.

But it was an amazing thing
to think about the generations of people

that have learned
to understand their feelings,

to make them mentionable and manageable.

What I'm going to talk to you today

is about how schools
can combine with technology

in the way of promoting self-regulation.

So I'm going to do this with no slides,
but with one model of the brain.

So if you reach under your chairs,
glued underneath there you'll find,

if you reach in there, pull out your hand
and take your hand model, there,

and put your thumb in the middle,
and put your fingers over the top.

This is a very

- my daughter never wants me
to say this but -

a handy model of the brain.

It's oriented like this.

We're going to talk about the connection
among three things.

We are going to talk about this brain
that's in your head,

that has the face over here,

and has a top of the brain,
the lower parts of the brain.

The part of the brain connected
to the whole body

comes through the spinal cord,
in addition to some other ways.

This brain sits in your body -

we are going to talk
about the brain and the body.

We are also going to talk about the mind,

which is different from the brain.

And we are going to talk about the mind

and its connection
to the brain and the body.

Then we are going
to talk about the third thing,

which is, we are going
to talk about relationships.

So those three things
we're going to cover today:

talking about relationships,
the mind, and the brain.

When you really think
about this for a while,

you can come up with some fascinating ways

where you can understand how,
for example, Mr. Rogers television show

experienced by a young child
within a family setting

could actually promote
something called self-regulation.

And so, we'll have to talk
about what is regulation,

and we'll have to even address
the question of what is the self.

So for me, whenever we use a word,

we need to make sure we understand
what we mean by it,

so we have a shared understanding
if we are going to do something about it.

So, how did Mr. Rogers
create the experience

where kids can learn that feelings
are mentionable and they're manageable?

How did he do that?

Well, when you think about how he did it,

you come up
with this really fundamental way

that schools, in fact,
can embrace the wisdom

that Mr. Rogers had for all of us,

and teach not only reading,
writing, arithmetic

- very important 3 Rs -

but another 3 Rs
I'm going to suggest to you,

which are the core of my talk,

which is reflection, first extra R,

relationships, the next R,

and the third one is resilience.

Because when you build
a certain kind of approach to reflection,

kids actually develop the capacity
to mention their feelings

and to then be able to manage them,

exactly what Mr. Rogers said
we ought to be able to do.

And that's the basis
of the emotional intelligence actually,

and it's the basis, as you'll see
in the moment, of social intelligence,

because when you understand
your own feelings

and learn to manage them,

you actually can understand other people.

It's actually incredible.

So, this reflective ability
is something schools can teach.

That's the next R.

What about relationships?

We're going to see that this brain
we're going to get into in a moment

has the capacity to make relationships
work really well,

and people actually thrive
and feel good about themselves

and good about others.

So you develop kindness
and compassion toward yourself

- really an important place to start -

and kindness and compassion toward others.

So this R of relationship really looks
at all the research on well-being

and says, you know, "The number one factor

whether you're looking
at mental health, physiologic health,

medical health, longevity or happiness,

the number one factor

in all those studies is relationships.

How we have connections,
positive connections with other people

is the best predictor of all those things.

In fact, if you study wisdom,

you find that wisdom is based
on having these positive relationships.

You probably have heard
of these amazing studies

which show that when you are given,
let's say, 20 dollars,

and you're asked to spend it on yourself

or give it in the service of someone else,
gifted to someone else,

the circuits in your brain
that show you did the right thing,

these reward circuits driven
by a transmitter called dopamine,

they get active when you give
to someone else,

which goes along with the study

that when you give
in service of other people,

you're actually happier yourself.

So if you want to be happier,
actually think about someone else.

That's the lesson from that.

So relationships in schools
can teach all that.

So that's the relationship part.

And now the resilience we're going
to get into when we talk about the brain.

But let's take our hand model out
and let's look at it.

I'm going to watch my watch

because part of how I'm going
to manage myself is time.

So I think I've been going for,
I would guess, 5 minutes,

but I need my timer to tell me;
there's my timer right there.

Beautiful. I guessed it right.

We're going to do
this hand model of the brain,

and I'm going to teach you all
how to do this.

And this is something that in schools
that I work with,

we teach kids, starting in kindergarten
about this hand model of the brain.

You're going to see
that it can be very useful to do.

When kids go towards adolescence,
their brain changes a lot,

they really need to know
about their brain.

So let's take the hand model out.

And put your thumb in the middle
and curl your fingers over the top.

So this is orientation of the brain.

Let's do the parts
and let's think about the question

as we get into these brain parts.

Why, if we're talking
about self-regulation,

would we care about the parts
of the brain?

And what does a relationship
has to do with the brain anyway?

And if self-regulation
is really a mental function,

because the self
is really part of your mind,

then is the mind just the brain,
or is it something else?

So these are the kinds of things we need
to really think deeply about.

And in the world I work in,
it's called interpersonal neurobiology.

We actually deeply dive
into these scientific questions

by combining all the fields of science
that exist into one perspective.

So it's called interpersonal neurobiology.

The brain is a good place
to start looking at this,

because believe it or not, it's actually
the simplest of all that stuff.

So let's go through it.

First, you have the spinal cord,

and this is basically
a collection of cells, neurons,

that allow energy and information
to flow from the body itself,

the signals coming up.

The spinal cord and also a nerve
called the vagus nerve,

they all bring stuff from the body

up into the skull part
of the nervous system.

Some people call that the head brain,
some people just call it the brain,

but actually you have a brain
around your heart,

and you have a brain
around your intestine.

So the word brain when I use it
means the whole body

and how it processes information
through the flow of energy.

That's basically
the biological understanding

of what we mean by the nervous system.

But the head brain
is what we're going to focus on now,

because it's really the most studied
of all these brain parts.

When you get up
into the head part of the brain,

if you lift up your fingers
and lift up your thumb,

you arrive at the first part
of the nervous system,

first in the sense it's the deepest,

first in the sense that
when you're in your mother's womb,

it's the first to develop in utero,

and first also meaning
it's the first we evolved to have.

So it's over 3 hundred million years old.

It's the old reptilian brain,

having collections of neurons
called nuclei

that are responsible for things like -

(Laughter)

This is a good example.
Let's take another pause.

Let's all turn our telephone off

and make sure
that if they are going to vibrate,

you have it near your body,
not sitting next to your neighbor.

You turn the sound off,
because that's another thing that happens;

technology, if you haven't noticed,

invades whatever context
you're trying to create.

And rather than technology running us,
we should run technology.

It's really, really important,
because these things just take off -

I was just walking home
from the local school we have,

and I saw a mom carrying

her year-and-a half- year-old child
in her arms,

texting for two and a half blocks,

and missing the opportunity
to connect with her child

because she allowed technology
to intrude on her relationship.

You probably know from the studies
of the University of Washington

by Andy Meltzoff and Patricia Kuhl
that the technology called "Baby" -

it doesn't matter what it's called.

It was technology that said,

"You can have your child develop faster
in their brain and language

if you show these videos,"

and they showed it was just the opposite,

because relationships
are what stimulate growth and learning.

If we use technology, that's fine,

but if you replace relationships
with technology, this study demonstrated,

you get just the opposite
of what you want to get.

So we have to actually be present fully,

and check out what's happening
in the environment,

and not pollute it with technology,

or not pollute it
with actual chemical pollutants, too.

OK, so now we're in the brainstem.

The brainstem is going
to keep us awake and alert,

so it has those nuclei that do that.

The brainstems are also going to have
the fight-flight-freeze reaction.

When you have
a lot of competing things going on,

you can have a very agitated,
fearful reaction to that,

like it's threatening,

or you can have a fight reaction to that,

or you can freeze.

There's even a fourth option,
which is total collapse.

It has its advantages
in lots of different ways,

and depending on the situation,

but that's what the brainstems
are all about -

very old impulses that are created.

If you put your thumb over the top,
this is the part of the brain

- we have two thumbs for it to be ideal,
but most of us have just one thumb -

this is a...I say that because
I once gave this lecture

and I didn't give that exception,
and someone said,

"I went to a gas station,
someone had two thumbs."

We want to honor that.
So most of us have one.

(Laughter)

It's left and right side
once you get up there.

This is the limbic area.

It developed 200 million years ago,

and it also is the second area
to begin developing in utero.

That goes like this.

To demonstrate how this works up,
Lewis, why don't you come up?

I want to invite a 13-year-old boy,
who is going to present to you later on.

Lewis, come on, say hi to everybody.
Lewis: Hey.

Daniel Siegel: Come on, step
on that little red carpet. Thanks, Lewis.

L: You're welcome.

DS: Have I talked to you
about the brain before?

L: No. DS: No.

So I'm going to teach you
a little bit about the brain,

because I want to show that -
Lewis is very bright,

but you can teach this to 13-year-olds
whose brains are also changing.

Let's do the hand model. Very good.

Here's what happens, Lewis:

this limbic area helps you
work with the brainstem

to create your emotions.

It actually works closely with other areas
to create various forms of memory.

Do you feel close to your mom?

L: Yeah. DS: Yeah, great.

So this is the part that lets you
feel connected to her, OK?

Now put your fingers
over the top like that. Right.

This is a part
that actually is going to grow

once you come out of your mom's belly,
out of her womb.

And this is a part that's very much shaped
by the experiences you have.

Yeah.

This is called the cortex;
it's the outer part of the brain.

So the back here.

Turn your head sideways.
We'll use it as a demo. Right there.

So this is the back part
of the brain like that.

The back part of your brain in general
represents the outside world.

There's all sorts of layers to it
and it makes maps to the outside world.

Very good. And then -

(Laughter)

You are one handsome guy.

So this front part of the brain here
is called your frontal cortex.

It allows you to think and reflect.

When we're talking about reflections,

this is the part of the brain
that actually lets you be able

to manage and mention your emotions.

Isn't that cool? L: That's really cool.

DS: So the kinds of things
that you do in your mental life,

like the mind basically is -

you know like you're playing a game,
when you feel excited?

That's sensation you call
subjective experience,

and that's a part of what the mind is.

Do you notice sometimes
you can be aware of some things,

and sometimes you're not aware of things?

L: Yeah. DS: Yes. So, awareness is also
part of what the mind does.

But the third thing the mind does
is it helps regulate

how all this information flow
is happening in your awareness,

in your subjective experience,

and even in how you communicate it
to other people.

So the reason we're talking
about reflection

- reflection, when you look inward,
what I call time-in,

develops this part of the brain.

Now, take a look at these
two middle finger nails there.

This is part of an area called
the prefrontal cortex. Look at me.

It's right behind your forehead,
right there.

Lift up your finger and put it back down.

What do you notice is kind of unique

about anatomical position
of these two middle finger nails?

L: That’s right under the thumb.
DS: Exactly!

So it's right under the thumb,

and this is the part of your brain
that actually allows the cortex

to go to that thumb area
called the limbic area.

And notice is it also
near your palm? L: Mhm.

DS: Yes, so it also connects the brainstem
to take information from the body, too.

So it comes up your spinal cord,
up your brain stem, to your limbic area,

especially in your right side
of the brain,

and goes right to that area.

Here's the cool thing. Watch me.

(Laughter)

What did you feel
when I was doing that? L: Sad.

DS: Sad, very good. Excellent.
L: Then happy.

DS: Then happy,
because we're goofing, right? L: Yeah.

DS: So the sad thing, this part
of your brain actually lets you

pick up what's going on
inside of my nervous system.

Isn't that amazing? L: Yes.

DS: So we have a relationship,
because I'm going to send energy to you,

and this part of the brain, right there,
which is right here behind your forehead,

it's going to take in
what's going on in me,

it takes in what's going on in your body,
like your heart, your intestines,

it takes in what's going on
in your brainstem, your limbic area,

and what goes on
throughout your whole cortex.

And it takes these separate things
and it pulls them together.

Now, you know what the word we use

for its taking separate
and putting together those?

L: No. DS: Integration. L: Aha.

DS: So here's what this area does:
it integrates everything.

It integrates your body, your brainstem,
your limbic area, your cortex,

and even your relationships
with other people.

So when you reflect on things,

and you have relationships where,
like, two people honor each other,

and then care about each other
with connections and communication,

we call that an integrated relationship.

Here's the amazing take home message
for you and for everybody:

when you have reflection,

and you have relationships
that are caring and connecting,

you actually stimulate the growth
of the integrative fibers in the brain,

and these are the fibers
that allow you to have resilience.

So the key to this whole thing is -

I know you have been experiencing
video games, right?

L: Oh, yeah. DS: And you've learned -
you watch this.

This part of the brain allows you
to be regulating your impulses.

Does that sound familiar,
controlling your impulses?

L: Yes.

DS: It allows you to do that.

It allows you to actually be aware
of your feelings.

It allows you to be aware
of other people's feelings,

and understand them.

It allows you to be moral,

think about what's good for everyone,
including the planet.

It allows you to actually have intuition.

It allows you to know
where you've been in the past,

where you are right now,
where you'll go in the future,

and allows you to tune in on other people.

That you get by reflecting
on the inner world,

being able to mention
and manage your feelings.

It allows you to develop it when you have
the relationships that are supportive,

like with teachers and with parents.

And it allows you to develop all this
so you're resilient.

So here's what I say about schools.

There's a policy that they say,
"No child left behind".

I say we should have

a policy where we have reflection,
relationships, and resilience,

so it's no prefrontal cortex left behind.

(Laughter)

How does that sound?

L: That sounds better
than "No child left behind".

DS: There you go, good.
Thank you very much.

(Applause)

Thank you so much. You are so cool.

L: You too, man. Thank you.

(Applause)