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Hah...
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I'm in Los Angeles, California.
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The Sunshine State.
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You've probably never been.
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They don't let you in if you're not rich enough.
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This is my pool.
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I haven't been up to much while I've been here.
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Just lazing around, counting my money.
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But I did explore an American supermarket with my friend Liam.
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-We are here, exploring Walmart.
-Hello.
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Can we talk about how this is the first cheese we've seen in America that hasn't come in liquid form?
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(Alex) Ham and cheese slices.
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That is... That is the laziest product I've ever seen.
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It's described as a loaf, as well. A ham and cheese loaf.
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There's nothing appealing about this. In the slightest.
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(Alex) Try pork tonight. And enjoy something extraordinary.
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(Alex) How niche do you like your Coca Cola?
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I like it with both zero sugar and vanilla flavoured.
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(Liam) Coke all the things!
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(Alex) It's Coke all the things!
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(Alex) Liam, do you know where the ice section is?
-The ice section?
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(Alex) Microwaveable pizzas come with side dishes
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(Liam) Cookies.
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(Alex) Ah ha ha! That's so good!
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And boneless 'wyngz' [pronounced 'winges']
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(Alex) I find it so weird how 'lube' is just a regular word in America that means, like, fixing cars.
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In the UK, it doesn't mean that.
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Pretty exclusively means...
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(Liam) Thing that are...
(Alex) Like sexy lube.
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Yeah, sexy lube.
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(Liam) Hey Alex, I need to take a note of all this weird stuff we found in the shop.
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Do you have a book?
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-I do. (gasps)
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(Liam) Aww, what's th... Oh, my goodness!
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(Alex) This is, like, the outdoorsy section, so they have torches...
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...and, like, backpacks and fishing bait and rifles.
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I like tea as much as any British guy, but I find it less appealing when it's in a petrol can.
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(Michael) [snorts] A petrol can?
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(Alex) How would you describe it?
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(Michael) That's just a bottle.
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(Alex) In England, that's what you'd keep some spare petrol in.
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So in England, you put your gasoline or your petrol in tea containers?
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(Alex) No, you put your tea...
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You could just shop exclusively at Walmart and you would just have everything you ever need to live.
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-Yep.
-To the point that I sort of...
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You can live here. They have, like, furniture.
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I sort of don't understand why any other shops exist, apart from...
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- They should just have one Walmart in every town.
- That's what they want!
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(Michael) What are you doing, Alex?
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I'm have my blood pressure tested. Cos that's a thing you can do.
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Ah, it's starting to hurt, actually.
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It says, "Warning, this machine may bruise you, and you may faint while using it."
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75 beats per minute is my pulse. Is that good?
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(Michael) It's, I think, average.
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What have you learned?
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Just that Walmart is amazing.
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It might just be my penchant for weird, like, eye gear or head gear...
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...but you can buy eye patches, and I really want one.
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(Alex) You can get your hair cut.
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They have an optictions.
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There is even a pharmacy in case you get sick.
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This place is 24 hours. so you could, just...
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You could live in Walmart.
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- So, we are about here.
(Alex) Yep.
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(Liam) And the cereal aisle is about...
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...somewhere around here.
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That's the size of Walmart.
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(Alex) I wanna play a board game. I don't know what to play. Thoughts?
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Um, I like the idea of Buzz Lightyear Operation.
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(Alex) [laughs] Why... Why does that even exist?
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-It's a "Silly Skill Game".
(Liam) [laughs] Skilly.
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I had a very enjoyable Walmart experience. So did Liam.
