Hah...
I'm in Los Angeles, California.
The Sunshine State.
You've probably never been.
They don't let you in if you're not rich enough.
This is my pool.
I haven't been up to much while I've been here.
Just lazing around, counting my money.
But I did explore an American supermarket with my friend Liam.
-We are here, exploring Walmart. -Hello.
Can we talk about how this is the first cheese we've seen in America that hasn't come in liquid form?
(Alex) Ham and cheese slices.
That is... That is the laziest product I've ever seen.
It's described as a loaf, as well. A ham and cheese loaf.
There's nothing appealing about this. In the slightest.
(Alex) Try pork tonight. And enjoy something extraordinary.
(Alex) How niche do you like your Coca Cola?
I like it with both zero sugar and vanilla flavoured.
(Liam) Coke all the things!
(Alex) It's Coke all the things!
(Alex) Liam, do you know where the ice section is? -The ice section?
(Alex) Microwaveable pizzas come with side dishes
(Liam) Cookies.
(Alex) Ah ha ha! That's so good!
And boneless 'wyngz' [pronounced 'winges']
(Alex) I find it so weird how 'lube' is just a regular word in America that means, like, fixing cars.
In the UK, it doesn't mean that.
Pretty exclusively means...
(Liam) Thing that are... (Alex) Like sexy lube.
Yeah, sexy lube.
(Liam) Hey Alex, I need to take a note of all this weird stuff we found in the shop.
Do you have a book?
-I do. (gasps)
(Liam) Aww, what's th... Oh, my goodness!
(Alex) This is, like, the outdoorsy section, so they have torches...
...and, like, backpacks and fishing bait and rifles.
I like tea as much as any British guy, but I find it less appealing when it's in a petrol can.
(Michael) [snorts] A petrol can?
(Alex) How would you describe it?
(Michael) That's just a bottle.
(Alex) In England, that's what you'd keep some spare petrol in.
So in England, you put your gasoline or your petrol in tea containers?
(Alex) No, you put your tea...
You could just shop exclusively at Walmart and you would just have everything you ever need to live.
-Yep. -To the point that I sort of...
You can live here. They have, like, furniture.
I sort of don't understand why any other shops exist, apart from...
- They should just have one Walmart in every town. - That's what they want!
(Michael) What are you doing, Alex?
I'm have my blood pressure tested. Cos that's a thing you can do.
Ah, it's starting to hurt, actually.
It says, "Warning, this machine may bruise you, and you may faint while using it."
75 beats per minute is my pulse. Is that good?
(Michael) It's, I think, average.
What have you learned?
Just that Walmart is amazing.
It might just be my penchant for weird, like, eye gear or head gear...
...but you can buy eye patches, and I really want one.
(Alex) You can get your hair cut.
They have an optictions.
There is even a pharmacy in case you get sick.
This place is 24 hours. so you could, just...
You could live in Walmart.
- So, we are about here. (Alex) Yep.
(Liam) And the cereal aisle is about...
...somewhere around here.
That's the size of Walmart.
(Alex) I wanna play a board game. I don't know what to play. Thoughts?
Um, I like the idea of Buzz Lightyear Operation.
(Alex) [laughs] Why... Why does that even exist?
-It's a "Silly Skill Game". (Liam) [laughs] Skilly.
I had a very enjoyable Walmart experience. So did Liam.