-
Going to be your guide to North Shore.
-
Now, where you sit in the cafeteria is
crucial because you got everybody there.
-
You got your freshmen,
ROTC guys, preps, J.V.
-
jocks, Asian nerds,
cool Asians, Varsity jocks,
-
unfriendly black hotties,
girls who eat their feelings,
-
girls who don't eat anything,
desperate wannabes,
-
burnouts, sexually active band geeks,
-
the greatest people you'll ever meet,
and the worst.
-
Beware of the plastics.
-
>> Hey, we're doing a lunchtime
survey of new students.
-
Can you answer a few questions?
-
>> Okay.
-
>> Is your muffin buttered?
-
>> What?
-
>> Would you like us to assign
someone to butter your muffin?
-
>> My what?
-
>> Is he bothering you?
-
Jason, why are you such a skeez?
-
>> I'm just being friendly.
-
>> You were supposed
to call me last night.
-
>> Jason, you do not come to a party
at my house with Gretchen and
-
then scam on some poor, innocent girl
right in front of us three days later.
-
She's not interested.
-
Do you want to have sex with him?
-
>> No, thank you.
-
>> Good, so it's settled.
-
So you can go shave your back now.
-
Bye, Jason.
-
>> ****.
-
>> Wait, sit down.
-
Seriously, sit down.
-
Why don't I know you?
-
>> I'm new, I just moved here from Africa.
-
>> What?
-
>> I use to be home-schooled.
-
>> Wait, what?
-
>> My mom taught me at home.
-
>> No, no, I know what home school is,
I'm not retarded.
-
So you've actually never been
to a real school before?
-
Shut up.
-
Shut up.
>> I didn't say anything.
-
>> Home-schooled,
that's really interesting.
-
>> Thanks.
-
>> But you're like really pretty.
-
>> Thank you.
-
>> So you agree?
-
>> What?
-
>> You think you're really pretty?
-
>> I don't know.
-
>> My God, I love your bracelet.
-
Where did you get it?
-
>> My mom made it for me.
-
>> It's adorable.
-
>> So fetch.
-
>> What is fetch?
-
>> It's like slang from England.
-
>> So if you're from Africa,
why are you white?
-
>> My God, Karen, you can't just
ask people why they're white.
-
>> Could you give us some privacy for
like one second?
-
>> Yeah, sure.
-
[MUSIC]
-
>> Okay, you should just know
that we don't do this a lot, so
-
this is like a really huge deal.
-
>> We want to invite you to have
lunch with us, every day for
-
the rest of the week.
-
>> It's okay.
>> Coolness, so we'll see you tomorrow.
-
>> On Wednesdays, we wear pink.
-
>> My God.
Okay, you have to do it, okay?
-
And then you have to tell me all of
the horrible things that Regina says.
-
>> Regina seems sweet.
-
>> Regina George is not sweet.
-
She's a scum-sucking road ****.
-
She ruined my life.
-
>> She's fabulous, but she's evil.
-
>> Hey, get out of here.
-
>> My God.
Danny DeVito, I love your work.
-
>> Why do you hate her?
-
>> What do you mean?
-
>> Regina, you seem to really hate her.
-
>> Yes, what's your question?
-
>> Well, my question is, why?
-
>> Regina started this rumor that Janice-
>> Damian.
-
Shall we not?
-
No look, this isn't about hating her,
okay, I just think that it
-
would be like a fun little experiment
if you were to hang out with them and
-
then tell us everything that they say.
-
>> What do we even talk about?
-
>> Hair products.
-
>> Ashton Kutcher.
-
>> Is that a band?
-
>> Okay, just do it, please.
-
>> Okay fine, do you have anything pink?
-
>> No.
>> Yes.
