Going to be your guide to North Shore.

Now, where you sit in the cafeteria is
crucial because you got everybody there.

You got your freshmen,
ROTC guys, preps, J.V.

jocks, Asian nerds,
cool Asians, Varsity jocks,

unfriendly black hotties,
girls who eat their feelings,

girls who don't eat anything,
desperate wannabes,

burnouts, sexually active band geeks,

the greatest people you'll ever meet,
and the worst.

Beware of the plastics.

>> Hey, we're doing a lunchtime
survey of new students.

Can you answer a few questions?

>> Okay.

>> Is your muffin buttered?

>> What?

>> Would you like us to assign
someone to butter your muffin?

>> My what?

>> Is he bothering you?

Jason, why are you such a skeez?

>> I'm just being friendly.

>> You were supposed
to call me last night.

>> Jason, you do not come to a party
at my house with Gretchen and

then scam on some poor, innocent girl
right in front of us three days later.

She's not interested.

Do you want to have sex with him?

>> No, thank you.

>> Good, so it's settled.

So you can go shave your back now.

Bye, Jason.

>> ****.

>> Wait, sit down.

Seriously, sit down.

Why don't I know you?

>> I'm new, I just moved here from Africa.

>> What?

>> I use to be home-schooled.

>> Wait, what?

>> My mom taught me at home.

>> No, no, I know what home school is,
I'm not retarded.

So you've actually never been
to a real school before?

Shut up.

Shut up.
>> I didn't say anything.

>> Home-schooled,
that's really interesting.

>> Thanks.

>> But you're like really pretty.

>> Thank you.

>> So you agree?

>> What?

>> You think you're really pretty?

>> I don't know.

>> My God, I love your bracelet.

Where did you get it?

>> My mom made it for me.

>> It's adorable.

>> So fetch.

>> What is fetch?

>> It's like slang from England.

>> So if you're from Africa,
why are you white?

>> My God, Karen, you can't just
ask people why they're white.

>> Could you give us some privacy for
like one second?

>> Yeah, sure.

[MUSIC]

>> Okay, you should just know
that we don't do this a lot, so

this is like a really huge deal.

>> We want to invite you to have
lunch with us, every day for

the rest of the week.

>> It's okay.
>> Coolness, so we'll see you tomorrow.

>> On Wednesdays, we wear pink.

>> My God.
Okay, you have to do it, okay?

And then you have to tell me all of
the horrible things that Regina says.

>> Regina seems sweet.

>> Regina George is not sweet.

She's a scum-sucking road ****.

She ruined my life.

>> She's fabulous, but she's evil.

>> Hey, get out of here.

>> My God.
Danny DeVito, I love your work.

>> Why do you hate her?

>> What do you mean?

>> Regina, you seem to really hate her.

>> Yes, what's your question?

>> Well, my question is, why?

>> Regina started this rumor that Janice-
>> Damian.

Shall we not?

No look, this isn't about hating her,
okay, I just think that it

would be like a fun little experiment
if you were to hang out with them and

then tell us everything that they say.

>> What do we even talk about?

>> Hair products.

>> Ashton Kutcher.

>> Is that a band?

>> Okay, just do it, please.

>> Okay fine, do you have anything pink?

>> No.
>> Yes.