shingle bells | The Yard

(laughs)

(upbeat music)

All right, power through, power through!

It's a drinking fountain,
it's like highschool!

Ooooh!

(laugh)

(upbeat music)

(natural sounds)

Welcome to The Yard everybody!

(popping sounds)

I missed mine.

(popping sound)

(popping sound)

Ooh you fucking hit me in the face!

Canada comes last.

Holy shit!

You just don't know how to use a firearm.

(laugh)

Oh it smells now!

Do you think this is ok,

are we going to get smoked out?

We don't have a lot of guns in Canada.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying
you don't know how to use a firearm?

We're gonna Wu Tang the...

What's a good...?

... Wu Tang the 4th of july

We're going to Wu Tang the tnt snap.

It's a little snap popper.

Party poppers.

Why don't you Wu Tang it?

Not the fun poppers.

Hit it real quick.

Hit that shit.

Look, for a podcast to be nominated

for a podcast award, it needs to

introduce all the guests at the beginning.

That's a rule of it.

Okay.

So welcome to The Yard everybody,

it's our podcast, featuring Ludwig...

You gotta intro yourself.

Okay, from the top, from the top,

I got it, I got it

Anthony is really stressed out

but go ahead,
say your name again?

Yeah, it's Ludwig.

I'm Nick.

I'm Aiden!

What's up I'm Slime

or Anthony, that's fine too.

You gotta tell them which one.

I don't think I do, because I think that

some... like Ludwig will call me Slime

and Aiden will call me Anthony and Nick...

will...

dealer's choice.

Dude do you know how many dms I've gotten,

after starting the Yard's twitter account,

from people saying "Hey I went to follow

everyone who's on the podcast
but Slime blocked me."

(laugh)

Why is that?

Anime profile pictures.

I got a bunch of those.

I blocked a bunch of people today!

Because I tweeted about Smash Summit stuff

and then they just replied with à propos

of nothing, and I just get so mad.

I'm just like: "Please stop talking to me.

This isn't for you, there is no reason for

you to talk to me, and then I block them

and it makes me... it's just like a sweet

little... it's like getting cereal,

but only the marshmallows.

I thought you said you changed a leaf!

Does it actually satisfy you?

Yeah 100%!

Because the feeling I get when I do that,

is knowing that I will never have to deal
with any of that.

There is an infinite horde of them and
Anthony just has an unbeatable weapon

with infinite ammo.

It doesn't ever break!

It's like Call of Duty Zombies though,
you'll never win!

Yeah but how many hours did you guys
sink into that?

Good amount.

Hell yeah brother!

And I'm not done yet!

There's gotta be diminishing
returns though.

They are, yeah, actually when you get to

the later rounds, you have all the power
punches, all the packups,

all the juicer fruits.

You're gonna hit a wall.

There is an extension I read about,

I didn't go seeking this out, there is an

extension called like Ultranuke, where

if you block somebody it blocks

everyone who interacts
with that tweet too.

(blows raspberries)

I think it's really funny.

That is insane.

Yeah.

What if you just do that...

I might go for that.

You know what'd be a fun stream for you?

So you can do this thing this has been

happening to me lately cause my mods have
a much shorter...

Height!

temperament than I do.

And so they hate things like "Ludwin"

or like short jokes

Yeah they get really pissy
about old jokes.

They get really pissy and they have
autobanned phrases.

And one of them is "ban me".

And one time, I was like "Hey guys"
and I said "ban me".

So someone typed it,
they got banned for like a full day.

And then everybody as a joke,

like 500 people,

just got banned for a day,

just by typing it in chat. You could

do that. You could do like

a stream called "if you type [this word],

you will be banned permanently".

Here's the thing though,
I don't really care as much about

Twitch because like, I don't get a lot of
people coming through as traffic

so it would be over really fast.

Let's do an Otto script then,
like Ottomated, he'll make a script,

you tweet, you say "if you're part of this
tweet, you will be blocked."

I would love to do that.

BUT, I would love to pull each trigger
individually.

That is so much more work!

I was gonna say, if you do an otto script,

it takes so much of the art out of it.

Yeah.

No!

You need like a big red button on your
desk that pops up on the screen,

you have one in queue, and you can just

This is not art.

This is like a human in runescape

grinding 99 smithing.

And isn't that beautiful in a way?

No, script it, it's way easier

you get the same skill cape at the end.

No, you're not listening to him talk about

what he's doing. It's like the beauty of

clicking block on each individual.

All right shingles boy, what's going on?

Little bit of the shingle bells time!

So, Aiden, you came back from a trip

but before that trip
you had some problems.

Yeah.

And you found out what they were today,
let's talk about it cause it's gross.

Yeah, so like a week ago...

Show the video viewers.

Am I gonna show it now?

Yeah show your shingles!

Do I show you guys first?

Zipper, can we get a close up on that?

We have never seen his shingles.

Ok, just take off your shirt,
Zipper gotta...

Zipper's in a booth by the way.

Can we also, Archie, blur out his nipples?

Okay.

Wait, that's...

Oooh!

God.

Dude!

Shingle boy!

I can breathe it in.

That looks like,

that looks like Hawaii on a map.

It does!

It does...

Oh!

Oh my god the size!

It's so much worst from this side!

Dude, oh my god!

Dude he's like a teacher who's like

"There's 7 islands, here's Oahu."

(laugh)

"Earth, wind, fire, water."

Oh!

Oh my god!

Damn, you look bad!

You look bad...

He touched me earlier and I freaked out.

No no no no no no!

Wow wow wow wow wow!

No you, you, you...

you sit back down!

This is literally... this is a crime!

This is a federal crime.

Nobody moves.

Jesus Christ.

Yeah, Aimen going to go to the 7-Eleven

holding up with his shingles!

Hey give me everything that you guys have!

Look at me I'm gross,
give me the money in the register!

All the taquitos you have!

It's like the Dave Chapelle bit where that

guy's holding up the bus, jerking off.

Yeah, and he's like looking at people,

he's like...

Wait, so you knew you had this before you
went to see your friends in Atlanta?

I didn't know I had shingles!

To his defense, I saw it before he went,

it was so much smaller.

It was just a little circle.

Ok, cause what I was gonna say is

he has shingles then he goes to this thing

and it's not like gamers hanging out,

they're playing sports and shit!

Which is like the best way
to pass shingles!

Did you like...

did they see your weird, gross body?

Yes!

You're like one of those antivaxers who
goes on public and coughs on people.

I almost went to the ER
while I was there.

Because it got worse?

Because it hurts so badly.

I literally feel tingles in my throat
right now.

I'm getting anxious sitting...

I hate that I'm sitting
next to the shingles boy.

Did you not go cause you like kinda felt

like the Joker? And you like that feeling?

You are patient zero, you're the guy

who fucked the bat, who gave us all
covid 19.

Fuck the bat over your dick...

(laughs)

Whoever fucked the bat
is who brought us covid.

I didn't intentionally
infect my friends!

You are patient zero bro.

I went to the doctor before this trip.

Yeah.

I went to the doctor before this trip and
I just had a pain that was keeping me up.

What did the doctor say
that he let you go?

No, I didn't have the rash yet!

Ooh...

I though the doctor saw the rash,
he's like "eh"

He's like: "This will clear up"

Little aloe vera...

That will be 200 dollars.

(laughs)

No. And then they didn't help at all
because...

I mean there was no rash, so I guess it's
not as obvious yet.

And then the pain got better,
for like 2 days!

And then all of a sudden it's the day of
day of my trip, I have this rash.

And my bloodwork is not back yet.

And I'm like:

"If I bail, they will flame me."

Yeah, 100%.

Cause you guys barely hang out.

And the first appointment,

they didn't say it was anything serious.

So I was like: "If they didn't say it was
serious the first time,

and I'm gonna get flamed by my friends
for backing out, I'll just go."

It also didn't look this bad!

It also definitely didn't look this bad!

We should paint a picture
because we're being disrespectful,

this is an audio podcast for many of you
guys. We love our audio listeners!

If you have free time this day, just
google "really really ugly disgusting

shingle boy", and then it will be exactly
like whatever comes up on Google Images.

And it's Aiden's high school photo!

Yeah, we got any Google SEO users out
there? Maybe we just get that top of

Yeah this is where we start a Reddit to
get it to the top for that result.