vimeo.com/.../258347367

Stand up when the teacher talks to you!

Tell us the factor for the female of the species

wu... 'y'... 'y'!

You see how simple it is?!

Fuck it! Do it LIVE!!!

Rise and shine mothafuckers, here's the fuckin' news!

You are fake news!

I am your host the Stimulator and in the United Snakes, public debates around gun control are once again heating up.

Yerr not getting our firearms! Do you understand?!

As the nation reels from the emotional and psychological fallout of yet another mass shooting...

This time, the tragic Valentine's Day attack on Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, in Parkland Florida.

The shooter this time around was 19 year old
white nationalist fuck-puppet, Nikolas Cruz,

who walked into his former high-school...

...and began indiscriminately firing on students
and staff with a swastika-engraved AR-15,

killing 17 people and injuring at least 14.

Before the smoke had even cleared, the sickeningly familiar and macabre ritual...

...of somber, post-massacre punditry and shameless poli-tricking was off to the fucking races.

You either chicken out, or you charge in and you're a hero

It's a cultural issue

Moral blackmail

Military-grade weapons

The shooter did go in the building! And you know what? The teacher was already there!

Ah! Sit down

Upon being informed by his handlers that the gunman wasn’t a Muslim, Black man, or a MS-13 member,

but just another run-of-the-mill white psycho out to get revenge on the world

because he sucked at Call of Duty, hated immigrants, and had hairy palms,

the Orange One promptly took to his pulpit,
first to hopelessly try to pretend

he gives a shit about peeps’ mental health,

and then to try and soothe the frayed nerves
of America’s traumatized school children.

You come into our schools....

you're gonna be dead....

and it's gonna be fast.

Yup. In a hilariously tone-deaf move
that at this point should have shocked nobody,

but still somehow did… because let’s be real here….
who actually fucking says this shit?!

I could stand in the middle of fifth avenue,
and shoot somebody,

and I wouldn't lose any voters, OK?

Oh yeah, almost fucking forgot. Anyway,
Trump suggested arming

a fifth of all American teachers with guns,

so that they’ll be locked, loaded and ready to
mow down any would-be school shooter

next time someone surely tries to shoot up their geography class.

I mean… what could go wrong?

Chaos broke out at Dalton High School in Dalton, Georgia on Wednesday

when police say a teacher barricaded himself
inside an empty classroom and fired a gun shot.

Meanwhile, despite their time-honored
and remarkably straight-faced

regurgitation of NRA talking points,

the shit-peddling suits in DC weren’t
able to brush this latest

act of wanton fucking attrition under the proverbial rug,

as they soon found themselves confronted
by a crew of righteously pissed off teens

who had not only survived this latest shooting,

but had also summoned up the youthful gumption
to point out just how fucked up it is

that this shit keeps fucking happening to them!

When adults tell me I have
the right to own a gun, all I can hear is

"my right to own a gun out-weighs your students' right to live"

As a kid, nothing ever that horrible should ever have to happen to you.

I wanna feel safe at school.

Seizing on the sympathy evoked in pretty much
all rational and decent people by these

children’s innocent fuckin pleas for safety,

Democrats and so-called “progressives”
in the US have seized

on this latest tragedy to try and once again push for

a variety of gun control measures,
including stricter background checks,

and a complete ban on the sale of assault rifles.

Buuuuuuuuuuut while that may seem like a pretty reasonable
proposition to most peeps around the world,

There's just a couple of fucking problems. First of all, in case you haven’t heard…

Americans kinda like their guns.

Get some!

Second, the idea of creating a
situation where ONLY the pigs have guns

is not exactly a solution for making peeps safer

Last year, those trigger-happy pieces
of shit shot and killed 987 people

far more than all those killed in mass shootings
and terrorist acts combined.

Can you count suckas?

Don’t forget that California’s relatively strict gun control measures,

passed in 1967,
were a plot by Ronnie Reagan

to criminalize the Black Panthers’
armed community defense patrols,

which had been holding
shit down in their hood

to help keep the racist Oakland 5-0 in check.

This action fit within a long history of the United Snakes government

limiting Black peeps’ access to arms,

in order to ensure the dominance of the nation’s

white supremacist power structure.

So while it makes sense that white liberals

who expect the cops to have their back

might be down with gun control,

Black and Brown peeps....

and revolutionaries of all mothafuckin stripes

should think twice about how
this shit would actually play out in practice.

As arch-globalist, and three-time
“Battle of the Bone” Prussian chicken

wing-eating champion, Karl Marx, famously stated:

The arming of the whole proletariat with rifles,

guns, and ammunition

should be carried out at once.

And should the bourgeois state come

for the proletariat's gats...

the proles’ response shall be

BLAT BLAT BLAT.

Several anarchist and other
anti-capitalist revolutionary crews

in the United Snakes are once again
beginning to get more familiar with using guns.

This is a necessary and long-overdue development

that opens the doors for meaningful projects

of revolutionary autonomy and community defense.

As for the problem of these horrific mass shootings…

I don’t have any quick solutions,

and I don’t think there fucking are any.

At the end of the day, the United Snakes

s a complete fucking dumpster fire of a society,

with tens of thousands of people

just one rough-day away from

opening fire on their co-workers.

I don't want lunch

I want breakfast

Well hey, I'm really sorry

Yeah? Well hey, I'm really sorry too

He's got a gun!

I mean shit… your former Vice President

shot his friend in the fucking face
and nobody said shit.

Y’all are just fucked.. sorry.

Keep safe, and best of luck.

Well…. that's all the fuckin news for this week.

Until next time,

don't forget to throw me some taco money
at sub.media/donate

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Just search for "Stimulator"

Hasta La Pasta companerxs!