WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.500 Stand up when the teacher talks to you! 00:00:02.500 --> 00:00:06.600 Tell us the factor for the female of the species 00:00:06.700 --> 00:00:08.800 wu... 'y'... 'y'! 00:00:10.500 --> 00:00:12.300 You see how simple it is?! 00:00:23.400 --> 00:00:24.500 Fuck it! Do it LIVE!!! 00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:28.100 Rise and shine mothafuckers, here's the fuckin' news! 00:00:28.100 --> 00:00:29.300 You are fake news! 00:00:29.360 --> 00:00:34.900 I am your host the Stimulator and in the United Snakes, public debates around gun control are once again heating up. 00:00:34.900 --> 00:00:38.200 Yerr not getting our firearms! Do you understand?! 00:00:42.800 --> 00:00:48.050 As the nation reels from the emotional and psychological fallout of yet another mass shooting... 00:00:48.050 --> 00:00:54.150 This time, the tragic Valentine's Day attack on Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, in Parkland Florida. 00:00:54.150 --> 00:00:58.257 The shooter this time around was 19 year old white nationalist fuck-puppet, Nikolas Cruz, 00:00:58.257 --> 00:01:00.150 who walked into his former high-school... 00:01:00.150 --> 00:01:05.563 ...and began indiscriminately firing on students and staff with a swastika-engraved AR-15, 00:01:05.563 --> 00:01:08.150 killing 17 people and injuring at least 14. 00:01:08.150 --> 00:01:12.550 Before the smoke had even cleared, the sickeningly familiar and macabre ritual... 00:01:12.550 --> 00:01:18.250 ...of somber, post-massacre punditry and shameless poli-tricking was off to the fucking races. 00:01:18.250 --> 00:01:21.250 You either chicken out, or you charge in and you're a hero 00:01:21.250 --> 00:01:22.450 It's a cultural issue 00:01:22.450 --> 00:01:23.400 Moral blackmail 00:01:23.400 --> 00:01:24.460 Military-grade weapons 00:01:24.460 --> 00:01:29.900 The shooter did go in the building! And you know what? The teacher was already there! 00:01:30.200 --> 00:01:32.550 Ah! Sit down 00:01:32.650 --> 00:01:37.680 Upon being informed by his handlers that the gunman wasn’t a Muslim, Black man, or a MS-13 member, 00:01:37.680 --> 00:01:41.400 but just another run-of-the-mill white psycho out to get revenge on the world 00:01:41.400 --> 00:01:45.780 because he sucked at Call of Duty, hated immigrants, and had hairy palms, 00:01:45.780 --> 00:01:49.946 the Orange One promptly took to his pulpit, first to hopelessly try to pretend 00:01:49.946 --> 00:01:52.350 he gives a shit about peeps’ mental health, 00:01:52.350 --> 00:01:56.550 and then to try and soothe the frayed nerves of America’s traumatized school children. 00:01:56.550 --> 00:01:58.433 You come into our schools.... 00:01:58.433 --> 00:02:00.023 you're gonna be dead.... 00:02:00.023 --> 00:02:01.550 and it's gonna be fast. 00:02:05.050 --> 00:02:09.400 Yup. In a hilariously tone-deaf move that at this point should have shocked nobody, 00:02:09.400 --> 00:02:14.590 but still somehow did… because let’s be real here…. who actually fucking says this shit?! 00:02:14.590 --> 00:02:17.434 I could stand in the middle of fifth avenue, and shoot somebody, 00:02:17.434 --> 00:02:18.990 and I wouldn't lose any voters, OK? 00:02:18.990 --> 00:02:22.946 Oh yeah, almost fucking forgot. Anyway, Trump suggested arming 00:02:22.946 --> 00:02:25.690 a fifth of all American teachers with guns, 00:02:25.690 --> 00:02:29.780 so that they’ll be locked, loaded and ready to mow down any would-be school shooter 00:02:29.780 --> 00:02:32.980 next time someone surely tries to shoot up their geography class. 00:02:33.000 --> 00:02:35.020 I mean… what could go wrong? 00:02:35.020 --> 00:02:39.000 Chaos broke out at Dalton High School in Dalton, Georgia on Wednesday 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:44.000 when police say a teacher barricaded himself inside an empty classroom and fired a gun shot. 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:47.805 Meanwhile, despite their time-honored and remarkably straight-faced 00:02:47.805 --> 00:02:49.850 regurgitation of NRA talking points, 00:02:49.850 --> 00:02:53.313 the shit-peddling suits in DC weren’t able to brush this latest 00:02:53.313 --> 00:02:56.350 act of wanton fucking attrition under the proverbial rug, 00:02:56.350 --> 00:03:00.652 as they soon found themselves confronted by a crew of righteously pissed off teens 00:03:00.652 --> 00:03:03.060 who had not only survived this latest shooting, 00:03:03.060 --> 00:03:07.670 but had also summoned up the youthful gumption to point out just how fucked up it is 00:03:07.670 --> 00:03:10.190 that this shit keeps fucking happening to them! 00:03:10.190 --> 00:03:13.811 When adults tell me I have the right to own a gun, all I can hear is 00:03:13.811 --> 00:03:17.070 "my right to own a gun out-weighs your students' right to live" 00:03:17.070 --> 00:03:21.870 As a kid, nothing ever that horrible should ever have to happen to you. 00:03:21.870 --> 00:03:23.870 I wanna feel safe at school. 00:03:23.870 --> 00:03:27.749 Seizing on the sympathy evoked in pretty much all rational and decent people by these 00:03:27.749 --> 00:03:29.800 children’s innocent fuckin pleas for safety, 00:03:29.800 --> 00:03:33.683 Democrats and so-called “progressives” in the US have seized 00:03:33.683 --> 00:03:36.900 on this latest tragedy to try and once again push for 00:03:36.900 --> 00:03:40.529 a variety of gun control measures, including stricter background checks, 00:03:40.529 --> 00:03:43.000 and a complete ban on the sale of assault rifles. 00:03:43.000 --> 00:03:48.230 Buuuuuuuuuuut while that may seem like a pretty reasonable proposition to most peeps around the world, 00:03:48.230 --> 00:03:52.520 There's just a couple of fucking problems. First of all, in case you haven’t heard… 00:03:52.520 --> 00:03:54.610 Americans kinda like their guns. 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:03.310 Get some! 00:04:04.310 --> 00:04:08.950 Second, the idea of creating a situation where ONLY the pigs have guns 00:04:08.950 --> 00:04:12.260 is not exactly a solution for making peeps safer 00:04:12.260 --> 00:04:17.950 Last year, those trigger-happy pieces of shit shot and killed 987 people 00:04:17.950 --> 00:04:20.839 far more than all those killed in mass shootings and terrorist acts combined. 00:04:20.839 --> 00:04:22.840 Can you count suckas? 00:04:22.840 --> 00:04:26.890 Don’t forget that California’s relatively strict gun control measures, 00:04:26.890 --> 00:04:30.100 passed in 1967, were a plot by Ronnie Reagan 00:04:30.100 --> 00:04:32.810 to criminalize the Black Panthers’ armed community defense patrols, 00:04:32.810 --> 00:04:34.810 which had been holding shit down in their hood 00:04:34.810 --> 00:04:36.810 to help keep the racist Oakland 5-0 in check. 00:04:36.810 --> 00:04:39.520 This action fit within a long history of the United Snakes government 00:04:39.520 --> 00:04:41.520 limiting Black peeps’ access to arms, 00:04:41.520 --> 00:04:44.280 in order to ensure the dominance of the nation’s 00:04:44.280 --> 00:04:46.280 white supremacist power structure. 00:04:46.280 --> 00:04:48.280 So while it makes sense that white liberals 00:04:48.280 --> 00:04:50.790 who expect the cops to have their back 00:04:50.790 --> 00:04:52.790 might be down with gun control, 00:04:52.790 --> 00:04:53.580 Black and Brown peeps.... 00:04:53.580 --> 00:04:56.790 and revolutionaries of all mothafuckin stripes 00:04:56.790 --> 00:04:59.400 should think twice about how this shit would actually play out in practice. 00:04:59.400 --> 00:05:04.130 As arch-globalist, and three-time “Battle of the Bone” Prussian chicken 00:05:04.130 --> 00:05:06.130 wing-eating champion, Karl Marx, famously stated: 00:05:06.130 --> 00:05:09.430 The arming of the whole proletariat with rifles, 00:05:09.430 --> 00:05:11.430 guns, and ammunition 00:05:11.430 --> 00:05:13.430 should be carried out at once. 00:05:13.430 --> 00:05:15.430 And should the bourgeois state come 00:05:15.430 --> 00:05:17.430 for the proletariat's gats... 00:05:17.430 --> 00:05:19.430 the proles’ response shall be 00:05:19.430 --> 00:05:20.430 BLAT BLAT BLAT. 00:05:20.430 --> 00:05:24.070 Several anarchist and other anti-capitalist revolutionary crews 00:05:24.070 --> 00:05:28.200 in the United Snakes are once again beginning to get more familiar with using guns. 00:05:28.200 --> 00:05:31.330 This is a necessary and long-overdue development 00:05:31.330 --> 00:05:33.330 that opens the doors for meaningful projects 00:05:33.330 --> 00:05:36.330 of revolutionary autonomy and community defense. 00:05:36.330 --> 00:05:38.790 As for the problem of these horrific mass shootings… 00:05:38.790 --> 00:05:40.790 I don’t have any quick solutions, 00:05:40.790 --> 00:05:42.790 and I don’t think there fucking are any. 00:05:42.790 --> 00:05:45.300 At the end of the day, the United Snakes 00:05:45.300 --> 00:05:47.970 s a complete fucking dumpster fire of a society, 00:05:47.970 --> 00:05:49.970 with tens of thousands of people 00:05:49.970 --> 00:05:51.970 just one rough-day away from 00:05:51.970 --> 00:05:52.930 opening fire on their co-workers. 00:05:52.930 --> 00:05:54.930 I don't want lunch 00:05:54.930 --> 00:05:56.930 I want breakfast 00:05:56.930 --> 00:05:59.560 Well hey, I'm really sorry 00:05:59.560 --> 00:06:02.400 Yeah? Well hey, I'm really sorry too 00:06:02.400 --> 00:06:04.400 He's got a gun! 00:06:05.400 --> 00:06:07.360 I mean shit… your former Vice President 00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:10.240 shot his friend in the fucking face and nobody said shit. 00:06:10.240 --> 00:06:12.240 Y’all are just fucked.. sorry. 00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:14.790 Keep safe, and best of luck. 00:06:14.790 --> 00:06:16.790 Well…. that's all the fuckin news for this week. 00:06:16.790 --> 00:06:18.790 Until next time, 00:06:18.790 --> 00:06:21.380 don't forget to throw me some taco money at sub.media/donate 00:06:21.380 --> 00:06:23.790 and be sure to follow me on all your favourite 00:06:23.790 --> 00:06:26.380 corporate brainwashing and mass surveillance platforms. 00:06:26.380 --> 00:06:28.380 Just search for "Stimulator" 00:06:28.380 --> 00:06:30.380 Hasta La Pasta companerxs!