0:00:00.000,0:00:02.500 Stand up when the teacher talks to you! 0:00:02.500,0:00:06.600 Tell us the factor for the female of the species 0:00:06.700,0:00:08.800 wu... 'y'... 'y'! 0:00:10.500,0:00:12.300 You see how simple it is?! 0:00:23.400,0:00:24.500 Fuck it! Do it LIVE!!! 0:00:25.000,0:00:28.100 Rise and shine mothafuckers, here's the fuckin' news! 0:00:28.100,0:00:29.300 You are fake news! 0:00:29.360,0:00:34.900 I am your host the Stimulator and in the United Snakes, public debates around gun control are once again heating up. 0:00:34.900,0:00:38.200 Yerr not getting our firearms! Do you understand?! 0:00:42.800,0:00:48.050 As the nation reels from the emotional and psychological fallout of yet another mass shooting... 0:00:48.050,0:00:54.150 This time, the tragic Valentine's Day attack on Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, in Parkland Florida. 0:00:54.150,0:00:58.257 The shooter this time around was 19 year old [br]white nationalist fuck-puppet, Nikolas Cruz, 0:00:58.257,0:01:00.150 who walked into his former high-school... 0:01:00.150,0:01:05.563 ...and began indiscriminately firing on students [br]and staff with a swastika-engraved AR-15, 0:01:05.563,0:01:08.150 killing 17 people and injuring at least 14. 0:01:08.150,0:01:12.550 Before the smoke had even cleared, the sickeningly familiar and macabre ritual... 0:01:12.550,0:01:18.250 ...of somber, post-massacre punditry and shameless poli-tricking was off to the fucking races. 0:01:18.250,0:01:21.250 You either chicken out, or you charge in and you're a hero 0:01:21.250,0:01:22.450 It's a cultural issue 0:01:22.450,0:01:23.400 Moral blackmail 0:01:23.400,0:01:24.460 Military-grade weapons 0:01:24.460,0:01:29.900 The shooter did go in the building! And you know what? The teacher was already there! 0:01:30.200,0:01:32.550 Ah! Sit down 0:01:32.650,0:01:37.680 Upon being informed by his handlers that the gunman wasn’t a Muslim, Black man, or a MS-13 member, 0:01:37.680,0:01:41.400 but just another run-of-the-mill white psycho out to get revenge on the world 0:01:41.400,0:01:45.780 because he sucked at Call of Duty, hated immigrants, and had hairy palms, 0:01:45.780,0:01:49.946 the Orange One promptly took to his pulpit, [br]first to hopelessly try to pretend 0:01:49.946,0:01:52.350 he gives a shit about peeps’ mental health, 0:01:52.350,0:01:56.550 and then to try and soothe the frayed nerves [br]of America’s traumatized school children. 0:01:56.550,0:01:58.433 You come into our schools.... 0:01:58.433,0:02:00.023 you're gonna be dead.... 0:02:00.023,0:02:01.550 and it's gonna be fast. 0:02:05.050,0:02:09.400 Yup. In a hilariously tone-deaf move [br]that at this point should have shocked nobody, 0:02:09.400,0:02:14.590 but still somehow did… because let’s be real here…. [br]who actually fucking says this shit?! 0:02:14.590,0:02:17.434 I could stand in the middle of fifth avenue, [br]and shoot somebody, 0:02:17.434,0:02:18.990 and I wouldn't lose any voters, OK? 0:02:18.990,0:02:22.946 Oh yeah, almost fucking forgot. Anyway, [br]Trump suggested arming 0:02:22.946,0:02:25.690 a fifth of all American teachers with guns, 0:02:25.690,0:02:29.780 so that they’ll be locked, loaded and ready to [br]mow down any would-be school shooter 0:02:29.780,0:02:32.980 next time someone surely tries to shoot up their geography class. 0:02:33.000,0:02:35.020 I mean… what could go wrong? 0:02:35.020,0:02:39.000 Chaos broke out at Dalton High School in Dalton, Georgia on Wednesday 0:02:39.000,0:02:44.000 when police say a teacher barricaded himself [br]inside an empty classroom and fired a gun shot. 0:02:44.000,0:02:47.805 Meanwhile, despite their time-honored [br]and remarkably straight-faced 0:02:47.805,0:02:49.850 regurgitation of NRA talking points, 0:02:49.850,0:02:53.313 the shit-peddling suits in DC weren’t [br]able to brush this latest 0:02:53.313,0:02:56.350 act of wanton fucking attrition under the proverbial rug, 0:02:56.350,0:03:00.652 as they soon found themselves confronted [br]by a crew of righteously pissed off teens 0:03:00.652,0:03:03.060 who had not only survived this latest shooting, 0:03:03.060,0:03:07.670 but had also summoned up the youthful gumption [br]to point out just how fucked up it is 0:03:07.670,0:03:10.190 that this shit keeps fucking happening to them! 0:03:10.190,0:03:13.811 When adults tell me I have [br]the right to own a gun, all I can hear is 0:03:13.811,0:03:17.070 "my right to own a gun out-weighs your students' right to live" 0:03:17.070,0:03:21.870 As a kid, nothing ever that horrible should ever have to happen to you. 0:03:21.870,0:03:23.870 I wanna feel safe at school. 0:03:23.870,0:03:27.749 Seizing on the sympathy evoked in pretty much [br]all rational and decent people by these 0:03:27.749,0:03:29.800 children’s innocent fuckin pleas for safety, 0:03:29.800,0:03:33.683 Democrats and so-called “progressives” [br]in the US have seized 0:03:33.683,0:03:36.900 on this latest tragedy to try and once again push for 0:03:36.900,0:03:40.529 a variety of gun control measures, [br]including stricter background checks, 0:03:40.529,0:03:43.000 and a complete ban on the sale of assault rifles. 0:03:43.000,0:03:48.230 Buuuuuuuuuuut while that may seem like a pretty reasonable [br]proposition to most peeps around the world, 0:03:48.230,0:03:52.520 There's just a couple of fucking problems. First of all, in case you haven’t heard… 0:03:52.520,0:03:54.610 Americans kinda like their guns. 0:04:02.000,0:04:03.310 Get some! 0:04:04.310,0:04:08.950 Second, the idea of creating a [br]situation where ONLY the pigs have guns 0:04:08.950,0:04:12.260 is not exactly a solution for making peeps safer 0:04:12.260,0:04:17.950 Last year, those trigger-happy pieces [br]of shit shot and killed 987 people 0:04:17.950,0:04:20.839 far more than all those killed in mass shootings [br]and terrorist acts combined. 0:04:20.839,0:04:22.840 Can you count suckas? 0:04:22.840,0:04:26.890 Don’t forget that California’s relatively strict gun control measures, 0:04:26.890,0:04:30.100 passed in 1967, [br]were a plot by Ronnie Reagan 0:04:30.100,0:04:32.810 to criminalize the Black Panthers’ [br]armed community defense patrols, 0:04:32.810,0:04:34.810 which had been holding [br]shit down in their hood 0:04:34.810,0:04:36.810 to help keep the racist Oakland 5-0 in check. 0:04:36.810,0:04:39.520 This action fit within a long history of the United Snakes government 0:04:39.520,0:04:41.520 limiting Black peeps’ access to arms, 0:04:41.520,0:04:44.280 in order to ensure the dominance of the nation’s 0:04:44.280,0:04:46.280 white supremacist power structure. 0:04:46.280,0:04:48.280 So while it makes sense that white liberals 0:04:48.280,0:04:50.790 who expect the cops to have their back 0:04:50.790,0:04:52.790 might be down with gun control, 0:04:52.790,0:04:53.580 Black and Brown peeps.... 0:04:53.580,0:04:56.790 and revolutionaries of all mothafuckin stripes 0:04:56.790,0:04:59.400 should think twice about how [br]this shit would actually play out in practice. 0:04:59.400,0:05:04.130 As arch-globalist, and three-time [br]“Battle of the Bone” Prussian chicken 0:05:04.130,0:05:06.130 wing-eating champion, Karl Marx, famously stated: 0:05:06.130,0:05:09.430 The arming of the whole proletariat with rifles, 0:05:09.430,0:05:11.430 guns, and ammunition 0:05:11.430,0:05:13.430 should be carried out at once. 0:05:13.430,0:05:15.430 And should the bourgeois state come 0:05:15.430,0:05:17.430 for the proletariat's gats... 0:05:17.430,0:05:19.430 the proles’ response shall be 0:05:19.430,0:05:20.430 BLAT BLAT BLAT. 0:05:20.430,0:05:24.070 Several anarchist and other [br]anti-capitalist revolutionary crews 0:05:24.070,0:05:28.200 in the United Snakes are once again [br]beginning to get more familiar with using guns. 0:05:28.200,0:05:31.330 This is a necessary and long-overdue development 0:05:31.330,0:05:33.330 that opens the doors for meaningful projects 0:05:33.330,0:05:36.330 of revolutionary autonomy and community defense. 0:05:36.330,0:05:38.790 As for the problem of these horrific mass shootings… 0:05:38.790,0:05:40.790 I don’t have any quick solutions, 0:05:40.790,0:05:42.790 and I don’t think there fucking are any. 0:05:42.790,0:05:45.300 At the end of the day, the United Snakes 0:05:45.300,0:05:47.970 s a complete fucking dumpster fire of a society, 0:05:47.970,0:05:49.970 with tens of thousands of people 0:05:49.970,0:05:51.970 just one rough-day away from 0:05:51.970,0:05:52.930 opening fire on their co-workers. 0:05:52.930,0:05:54.930 I don't want lunch 0:05:54.930,0:05:56.930 I want breakfast 0:05:56.930,0:05:59.560 Well hey, I'm really sorry 0:05:59.560,0:06:02.400 Yeah? Well hey, I'm really sorry too 0:06:02.400,0:06:04.400 He's got a gun! 0:06:05.400,0:06:07.360 I mean shit… your former Vice President 0:06:07.360,0:06:10.240 shot his friend in the fucking face [br]and nobody said shit. 0:06:10.240,0:06:12.240 Y’all are just fucked.. sorry. 0:06:12.240,0:06:14.790 Keep safe, and best of luck. 0:06:14.790,0:06:16.790 Well…. that's all the fuckin news for this week. 0:06:16.790,0:06:18.790 Until next time, 0:06:18.790,0:06:21.380 don't forget to throw me some taco money [br]at sub.media/donate 0:06:21.380,0:06:23.790 and be sure to follow me on all your favourite 0:06:23.790,0:06:26.380 corporate brainwashing and mass surveillance platforms. 0:06:26.380,0:06:28.380 Just search for "Stimulator" 0:06:28.380,0:06:30.380 Hasta La Pasta companerxs!