-
Oh, Hamlet Hamlet Hamlet Hamlet Hamlet!
-
The vampire army has taken the city!
-
We must check the castle tower and make sure no vampires made it into our home base
-
You wait here, I`ll go check the castle
-
Yes, you do that.
-
OH MY GOD HAMLET! I JUST SAW A FUCKING VAMPIRE!
-
IT BIT ME RIGHT IN THE NECK!
-
Save yourself Hamlet, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
-
My fellow I will avenge you
-
And rid this castle of the vampire scurge that has taken this fair city
-
I shall hunt each and everyone down in this town and drive a wooden stake through their heart
-
all this for my friend the fellow
-
Abe Lincoln: OH NO! HAMLET TURN AROUND HE TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE, HE`S GONNA BITE YOU!
-
OH SHIT! HAMLET! I can`t watch this! Hey everybody, I can`t watch this!
-
John: Well some of us are trying to!
-
Lady: John! Please!
-
Abe: WHO SAID THAT?! WHICH ONE OF Y'ALL DEAD MOTHERFUCKERS JUST SAID THAT SHIT!?
-
Was it you, stringbean? You skinny-ass looking motherfucker!
-
TURN AROUND AND SAY IT AGAIN! (x3)
-
Will you please be QUIET?!
-
Lady: John! That is the president of the United States!
-
I don't care who it is, he's ruining Hamlet
-
Abe: Now you fucked up (x10)
-
John: MISTER PRESIDENT will you please be quiet?
-
Suck my presidential cock, BITCH
-
You fat-ass piece of shit, you tub-o-lard looking motherfucker
-
WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! HEY!
-
John: What.
-
Abe: WHAT!
-
I don't know why you're looking at me bitch, the plays on state, I ain't puttin' on a play up here I'm trying to be entertained right now
-
MR PRESIDENT, BE QUIIET
-
Lady: John! Calm down!
-
Abe: Listen to the woman John! Calm down, just calm down.
-
Hey! Acty, stop the play, ACTY! HEY! HO!
-
I gotta go to the bathroom I drank too much liquid now I gotta piss
-
Oh, I got a bottle, its aiight, rewind the play 5 minutes though 'cuz that piece of shit was talking and I couldn't pay attention, so rewind the play 5 minutes
-
and you shut the fuck up!
-
John: That's it, I'm gonna do what I should have done a long time ago..
-
Lady: John, what are you going to do?!
-
I'm gonna be him to death with this hammer
-
What? John!
-
Abe: Whoa, what are you doing skinny? What are you doing you fat piece of shit? Where's he going? What's that fat piece of shit doing now?
-
OH SHIT!
-
He's hittin' me in the butt, he's hitting my butt, don't break my butt, don't break my butt! He's breaking my butt!
-
Ladies and Gentlemen, that is what actually happened that night all those years ago
-
American Historians and Documentarians believe that the actual events were far to embarrassing for a growing nation to endure
-
But Abraham Lincoln actually got hammered in the ass so much that he died of being hammered in the ass, thank you, goodnight
