A better way to talk about love

OK, so today I want to talk about
how we talk about love.

And specifically,

I want to talk about what's wrong
with how we talk about love.

Most of us will probably fall in love
a few times over the course of our lives,

and in the English language,

this metaphor,

"Falling,"

is really the main way that we
talk about that experience.

And I don't know about you,

but when I conceptualize this metaphor,

what I picture is straight
out of a cartoon.

Like there's a man,

he's walking down the sidewalk,

without realizing it he cross over
and open manhole,

and he just plummets
into the sewer below.

And I picture it this way because
falling is not jumping.

Falling is accidental,

it's uncontrolable.

It's something that happens to us
without our consent.

And this --

this is the main way we talk
about starting a new relationship.

So I am a writer and I'm also
and English teacher,

which means I think about
words for a living.

And you could say that I get paid
to argue that the language we use matters,

and I would like to argue that many
of the metaphors we use

to talk about love --

maybe even most of them --

are a problem.

So, in love we fall.

We're struck,

we are crushed,

we swoon,

we burn with passion.

Love makes us crazy,

and it makes us sick.

Our hearts ache,

and then they break.

(Laughter)