WEBVTT

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OK, so today I want to talk about
how we talk about love.

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And specifically,

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I want to talk about what's wrong
with how we talk about love.

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Most of us will probably fall in love
a few times over the course of our lives,

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and in the English language,

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this metaphor,

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"Falling,"

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is really the main way that we
talk about that experience.

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And I don't know about you,

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but when I conceptualize this metaphor,

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what I picture is straight
out of a cartoon.

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Like there's a man,

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he's walking down the sidewalk,

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without realizing it he cross over
and open manhole,

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and he just plummets
into the sewer below.

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And I picture it this way because
falling is not jumping.

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Falling is accidental,

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it's uncontrolable.

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It's something that happens to us
without our consent.

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And this --

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this is the main way we talk
about starting a new relationship.

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So I am a writer and I'm also
and English teacher,

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which means I think about
words for a living.

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And you could say that I get paid
to argue that the language we use matters,

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and I would like to argue that many
of the metaphors we use

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to talk about love --

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maybe even most of them --

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are a problem.

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So, in love we fall.

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We're struck,

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we are crushed,

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we swoon,

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we burn with passion.

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Love makes us crazy,

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and it makes us sick.

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Our hearts ache,

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and then they break.

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(Laughter)