6 Foundational Things That Will Improve Your Mental Health

Mental health is not the mystery
that it once was

although there's a lot of things we
don't know about how the brain works

or why people feel certain things
or what makes it better,

there also is a lot that we have
figured out since the days

of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung
and those early pioneers of psychology.

There are many things that we can
definitively say:

"If you do this thing you will see
some amount of improvement ."

The problem is that a lot
of these proven strategies

for improving mental health are difficult,

uncomfortable or unpleasant to implement;

and a trap I see people get sucked into
all the time is they keep looking

for new solutions, new answers, new ideas,

not because they don't have any solutions

but because they don't like
the solutions they have.

They don't want to implement the things
that they already know

and so they spend hours and hours
reading books listening to podcasts

watching YouTube videos to try to find
an easier faster or more convenient way

to make the changes they already know
they should be making.

The thing about this is it's at best
this is procrastination

at worst it's avoidance.

Sometimes we need to stop acquiring
new information, and focus

on applying the information
we already have.

And rather than looking
for that magic bullet, so to speak,

work on creating a foundation
combined with all of the things

we already know are definitely going
to help us if we could get them going.

When I hear somebody in therapy say:
"I've tried everything",

what they usually mean is:
I've tried everything that I want to try".

So that's why today instead of presenting
a new concept,

I'm going to review some things
that you probably already know,

but what I am hoping to do is maybe
present them in a new or novel way

that will make them feel more accessible,
more attainable

or more applicable
than they previously did.

So, without further ado
here are seven things

that you probably already know
you should be doing

but might be struggling to implement
into your life.

And the first is doing things
that you are scared to do,

in other words exposure therapy,
facing your fears.

Your comfort zone only grows
when you are not in it.

This is critical for you to understand.

And engaging in activities that cause you
anxiety or that cause you discomfort

is a lot ... it's kind of like stretching
your emotional range

in the same way that something
like yoga or calisthenics

is like stretching your movement range.

It doesn't necessarily feel great
while you are doing it.

In fact it can often be an unpleasant
experience while you're doing it.

But if you do it regularly,
navigating the world

becomes more enjoyable and less painful.

And you're less likely to get hurt:

if you stretch regularly,
you are less likely to hurt your body

when you're out and about
moving around

and there's fewer situations that you're
unable to physically navigate, right?

When you practice regular exposure therapy

and work on in a sort of
a planned strategic manner

facing, and hopefully eventually
conquering the things you are afraid of,

the world starts to open up to you.

It becomes more accessible and less scary
because there are fewer situations

you can imagine that you would find
yourself in that overwhelm your anxiety.

This is a huge part of why I used to be
so isolated when I was younger,

it's because I was terrified of doing
literally everything

other than playing video games in my room,
to be honest with you.

And so I avoided people I avoided
opportunity, I avoided school,

I avoided work because I felt like
I had so few skills

and so little coping ability that
it was only a matter of time

before I'd encounter a situation
that would completely overwhelm me,

so I didn't enter situations like
literally I just didn't

The more confidence you have
about your ability to navigate

these stressful situations
the less scary life becomes

and the more opportunities you have.

The second thing that you probably
already know you should be doing

but might be struggling to do
is taking good care of your living space.

Unless you are an absurdly wealthy person,
you are going to spend

the vast majority of your life
in two environments:

the place that you work
and the place that you live.

Now the place you live: you might own
your entire home,

you might rent, you might have a room,
you might have a condo.

Whatever you have you have
an environment that you call home.

And so these two environments,
your work and your home,

they have a tremendous impact
on your mental health

if for no reason, no other reason,
I should say, than volume.

They're where you spend
the majority of your time

and so the way they look,
the way they feel, the way they function,

is critical to your emotional well-being.

We know that the environments
that you spend your time in

have a huge impact on your mental health.

And basically, what it comes down to
for me, my phrasing is,

if you're your home doesn't feel
comfortable to you,

you basically never feel like your home,
it's like you don't have a home,

you don't have a space: you have a home

but what you don't have is a space
in this world that feels right to you:

that's what you're missing
and we all need that

and I believe we all deserve that.

But you will not have one
unless you make one

you're the one that has to create
and maintain it;

and I don't always like that either
but I don't make the rules,

I just report on them
and this is the way we work

Taking good care of your environment
can be a very time-consuming task

especially if you've neglected it
for a long time

but remember that you don't have
to do it all at once, right?

Start small do a little bit each day
and before you know it

maybe your heart will have a home again

and that's something that can be
invaluable for our mental health journey.

The third thing you probably already know
you should be doing

but might be struggling to do

is to actually Implement
sleep hygiene techniques.

There are two types of insomnia:

there's clinical insomnia and
there's behavioral insomnia.

Clinical insomnia is when,
for the most part,

you are doing things right:

your day is structured in a way that
should allow you to fall asleep

and stay asleep reasonably well
but you are unable to do so

and it takes hours to fall asleep.

Behavioral insomnia is when
you have a double shot at 300 p.m.,

you get into bed at 11:00 p.m.,
you scroll on your phone till midnight,

then you toss and turn
until 3 in the morning.

In other words, you have insomnia
but it's because of choices you're making,

it's not because your brain doesn't know
how to go to sleep,

it's because you're not letting it
go to sleep

and you've set up your life in a way
that simply does not support sleep.

Most people who struggle with sleep

have behavioral insomnia,
not clinical insomnia

Clinical insomnia is actually
relatively rare and it's usually a matter

of lifestyle and habits
that are primarily facilitating

the experience of insomnia.

So my question to you would be:

"Are you actually practicing sleep hygiene

and suffering clinical insomnia
as a result

or are you self-sabotaging
and then complaining about it?"

Because -- not to put
too fine a point on it --

but that's basically
what behavioral insomnia is:

you are -- unintentionally I know, I'm
oversimplifying things a little bit --

you're making it as difficult as possible
for your brain to fall asleep

and then being, like:
"Brain, why didn't you fall asleep?"

I mean you're you're kind of gaslighting
your sleep cycle in a sense.

It's a weird way to think of it. I know,
but that's kind of what you're doing.

If you struggle with insomnia,
take a real honest inventory

of your nighttime routine
and ask yourself:

"Do I think it's reasonable that I should
be able to fall asleep pretty quickly

or am I basically taking everything
I know about sleep,

throwing it out the window

and thinking that's still going to work?"

Because it won't.

You're -- you have a brain
and you have a nervous system

and we know a lot about how these factors
affect our ability to fall asleep

and stay asleep.

And so sleep is not really a mystery,

it's just that most people
aren't doing it right

and that's really
what I want you to consider

if you're struggling with insomnia:

"Am I am I doing it right or am I just
gaslighting my own sleep cycle?"

The 4th thing that you probably
already know you should be doing

but might be having trouble with

is minimizing or eliminating
drug and alcohol use

Now this one's a little bit different,
I know, because this one is harder

for a person to control directly
than some of the other topics

we're going to discuss here and
believe me, I am understanding of that.

Most people who use drugs and alcohol
use them because they want to feel

anything other than what it is like
to be themselves

and it seems like nothing could possibly
worse than just waking up today

and feeling like me -- and frankly I know
what that feeling is like.

Substances put you on a physical
and mental roller coaster, though,

where instead of changing
what it feels like to be you,

which is ultimately the reality
that you are struggling with

you are temporarily escaping
what it feels like to be you

and when the escape wears up off
you often feel even worse than before

and therefore you feel an even stronger
desire to escape from yourself,

which manifests as increased substance use

and creates a downward spiral that
the longer it goes on

becomes harder and harder
to extricate yourself from.

So if this is you, and I have a little bit
of a different idea for you here,

because everything else in this video
has been about "here's what you can do".

If you're struggling with drug
and alcohol use

and the pattern I just described
kind of sounds like you,

maybe it's time to admit that
you cannot do this alone

and that you need some help
with this problem

Substance misuse is probably
the hardest mental health condition

to treat without support,
maybe tied with eating disorders

because they're very similar
neurologically

and I think that's mainly because
it's so easy to lie to yourself.

And, you know, most people
aren't deceiving themselves

about their depression or their anxiety
so, like, well, it's not that bad.

Usually you face those things
pretty head on

you're like no this is awful
and I need help

but when it comes to things that produce
a momentary sense of reward

like eating disorders and substance misuse

you tend to rationalize,
you tend to explain,

you tend to minimize,
you tend to make excuses.

And if you've had several unsuccessful
attempts at changing those habits

for yourself, maybe it's time to stop
putting so much pressure on yourself,

to accept some help and to accept
some support in this domain.

There is no shame in that: this is
typically not a solo endeavor

and it might be time to think
about asking for for help

The fifth thing that you probably already
know you should be doing

but might be having a hard time doing

is being physically active every day.

So I mean, this one is no mystery right?

You probably had a million people
tell you this already,

including your doctor every time
you see him

and every other medical professional
you interact with.

You've probably heard it so many times
that you're sick of hearing it

and you have an innate automatic
defensive response

when someone says this to you.

So sorry about that, because I probably
just triggered it, but here's the thing:

your brain needs blood your brain
does not work very well

if it does not have healthy
accessible blood flow.

It's literally one of the resources
your brain runs on,

it's like gasoline for your brain and
most of us have very sedentary lifestyles

which negatively impact
our cardiovascular health.

I mean, that's that's just the way
society is, it's not your fault.

That's the way society has gone:
most jobs don't use our bodies.

If you have a very physically active job

you probably don't need to worry
about this because

you are physically active every day,
it doesn't have to be extra,

it doesn't have to be prescribed exercise

if you get this in from your job
or from your kids or whatever: fine.

But if you're like me

and you literally just sit on your butt
for nine hours a day at work,

you need to add this if your
predefined life doesn't have enough of it.

I'm not a fan of how society has
made us so sedentary but it is what it is.

Since your brain
needs blood to work right.

Cardiovascular health is brain health.

if you constantly feel foggy, forgetful,
distracted or moody,

it might be because your brain
doesn't have enough blood flow

it might be because your brain
doesn't have one of the resources

that it needs to keep your prefrontal
cortex powered on.

Because all the things that I just said
live there

and when your brain is lacking in any
essential resource

-- blood, oxygen, rest
or caloric energy --

it enters a low power mode, much like
what's on your phone

or your tablet or your laptop,

and certain processes don't work as well
as they normally do.

The first part of the brain
that takes the hit

when we're low on resources
is the prefrontal cortex:

it's executive functioning,
it's emotion regulation

it's social engagement.

So, if those are things
you're struggling with,

it's probably because your brain
doesn't have

all the resources it needs to
do its job properly.

The one thing I always try to emphasize
with physical activity too

is the way you do it
really doesn't matter:

if you want to lift weights, lift weights;

if you want to run, run;

if you want to do team sports,
do team sports;

if you hate some certain type
of exercise, don't do it.

it's not it's not hugely critical
how you do it

it's just critical that you do it.

So find something that you
either like, ideally.

If there's nothing,
like literally nothing,

find the thing you hate the least.

It can be some weird obscure thing:

maybe you want to get into hobby horsing,

and if you don't know what that is,
you should look it up on social media.

It's a fascinating world
if you do know what it is.

I appreciate the people who understand
my obscure references

because there are many of them.

Just do something to get that blood
going to your brain.

You might be amazed how much it helps,
you really might be amazed.

The sixth and final thing that you
probably -- asterisk to this one --

probably know you should be doing
but are probably having trouble doing

is to stop beating yourself up
about how long it is taking

to get your life in order.

Now I realize that you might
have been doing that

throughout this video already
because as I'm saying things

that you probably already knew
you should be doing,

you might have been beating yourself up,
guilt tripping yourself, shaming yourself,

and if you were, knock it off right now.

Sorry I had to say it that way,

but seriously you're not doing yourself
any favors.

We all have enough pressure on us already,
probably more than enough pressure

probably a maladaptive amount of pressure,

and change is hard.

Our brains actively resist it
because they're wired for homeostasis

We associate familiarity
with safety and with security

and on a very basic survival level,

we fight back against
our own attempts to change.

Putting too much pressure on yourself
tends to keep you stuck

So try patience and gentleness instead
and see what happens.

It is amazing what people can do
when they finally feel understood

and are treated with respect
and compassion.

And it is very possible that the person
most standing in your way

of feeling those things and
experiencing those things

is you.