0:00:00.240,0:00:03.001 Mental health is not the mystery[br]that it once was 0:00:03.001,0:00:06.681 although there's a lot of things we [br]don't know about how the brain works 0:00:06.681,0:00:09.480 or why people feel certain things[br]or what makes it better, 0:00:09.480,0:00:12.350 there also is a lot that we have [br]figured out since the days 0:00:12.350,0:00:16.408 of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung[br]and those early pioneers of psychology. 0:00:16.767,0:00:19.808 There are many things that we can[br]definitively say: 0:00:19.808,0:00:24.373 "If you do this thing you will see[br]some amount of improvement ." 0:00:24.851,0:00:27.720 The problem is that a lot[br]of these proven strategies 0:00:27.720,0:00:30.225 for improving mental health are difficult, 0:00:30.225,0:00:32.669 uncomfortable or unpleasant to implement; 0:00:33.016,0:00:37.540 and a trap I see people get sucked into[br]all the time is they keep looking 0:00:37.540,0:00:40.934 for new solutions, new answers, new ideas, 0:00:40.934,0:00:43.735 not because they don't have any solutions 0:00:44.005,0:00:46.821 but because they don't like[br]the solutions they have. 0:00:46.922,0:00:50.167 They don't want to implement the things[br]that they already know 0:00:50.167,0:00:54.886 and so they spend hours and hours[br]reading books listening to podcasts 0:00:54.886,0:01:00.320 watching YouTube videos to try to find[br]an easier faster or more convenient way 0:01:00.320,0:01:03.680 to make the changes they already know[br]they should be making. 0:01:03.829,0:01:07.366 The thing about this is it's at best[br]this is procrastination 0:01:07.366,0:01:09.075 at worst it's avoidance. 0:01:09.220,0:01:14.203 Sometimes we need to stop acquiring[br]new information, and focus 0:01:14.203,0:01:17.052 on applying the information[br]we already have. 0:01:17.052,0:01:19.825 And rather than looking[br]for that magic bullet, so to speak, 0:01:19.825,0:01:24.609 work on creating a foundation[br]combined with all of the things 0:01:24.609,0:01:28.500 we already know are definitely going[br]to help us if we could get them going. 0:01:28.800,0:01:32.595 When I hear somebody in therapy say:[br]"I've tried everything", 0:01:33.140,0:01:37.314 what they usually mean is:[br]I've tried everything that I want to try". 0:01:37.684,0:01:41.292 So that's why today instead of presenting[br]a new concept, 0:01:41.292,0:01:45.149 I'm going to review some things[br]that you probably already know, 0:01:45.489,0:01:51.118 but what I am hoping to do is maybe[br]present them in a new or novel way 0:01:51.118,0:01:55.411 that will make them feel more accessible,[br]more attainable 0:01:55.805,0:01:58.433 or more applicable[br]than they previously did. 0:01:59.240,0:02:01.880 So, without further ado[br]here are seven things 0:02:01.880,0:02:04.569 that you probably already know[br]you should be doing 0:02:04.836,0:02:07.316 but might be struggling to implement[br]into your life. 0:02:07.480,0:02:11.034 And the first is doing things[br]that you are scared to do, 0:02:11.034,0:02:14.095 in other words exposure therapy,[br]facing your fears. 0:02:14.525,0:02:19.548 Your comfort zone only grows[br]when you are not in it. 0:02:19.879,0:02:23.120 This is critical for you to understand. 0:02:23.120,0:02:27.927 And engaging in activities that cause you[br]anxiety or that cause you discomfort 0:02:27.927,0:02:31.985 is a lot ... it's kind of like stretching[br]your emotional range 0:02:31.985,0:02:35.345 in the same way that something[br]like yoga or calisthenics 0:02:35.480,0:02:37.615 is like stretching your movement range. 0:02:38.160,0:02:41.900 It doesn't necessarily feel great[br]while you are doing it. 0:02:41.900,0:02:45.291 In fact it can often be an unpleasant[br]experience while you're doing it. 0:02:45.291,0:02:49.808 But if you do it regularly,[br]navigating the world 0:02:49.808,0:02:52.691 becomes more enjoyable and less painful. 0:02:52.819,0:02:54.512 And you're less likely to get hurt: 0:02:54.560,0:02:57.952 if you stretch regularly,[br]you are less likely to hurt your body 0:02:57.952,0:02:59.800 when you're out and about[br]moving around 0:02:59.800,0:03:03.470 and there's fewer situations that you're[br]unable to physically navigate, right? 0:03:03.548,0:03:06.317 When you practice regular exposure therapy 0:03:06.317,0:03:09.375 and work on in a sort of[br]a planned strategic manner 0:03:09.375,0:03:13.647 facing, and hopefully eventually[br]conquering the things you are afraid of, 0:03:13.647,0:03:16.545 the world starts to open up to you. 0:03:16.545,0:03:21.344 It becomes more accessible and less scary[br]because there are fewer situations 0:03:21.344,0:03:26.035 you can imagine that you would find[br]yourself in that overwhelm your anxiety. 0:03:26.233,0:03:30.505 This is a huge part of why I used to be[br]so isolated when I was younger, 0:03:30.505,0:03:33.751 it's because I was terrified of doing[br]literally everything 0:03:33.751,0:03:36.848 other than playing video games in my room,[br]to be honest with you. 0:03:37.183,0:03:41.536 And so I avoided people I avoided[br]opportunity, I avoided school, 0:03:41.536,0:03:45.723 I avoided work because I felt like[br]I had so few skills 0:03:45.723,0:03:48.769 and so little coping ability that[br]it was only a matter of time 0:03:48.769,0:03:51.983 before I'd encounter a situation[br]that would completely overwhelm me, 0:03:51.983,0:03:54.670 so I didn't enter situations like[br]literally I just didn't 0:03:55.026,0:03:59.509 The more confidence you have[br]about your ability to navigate 0:03:59.509,0:04:02.915 these stressful situations[br]the less scary life becomes 0:04:02.915,0:04:04.983 and the more opportunities you have. 0:04:04.983,0:04:08.163 The second thing that you probably[br]already know you should be doing 0:04:08.163,0:04:12.500 but might be struggling to do[br]is taking good care of your living space. 0:04:12.500,0:04:16.051 Unless you are an absurdly wealthy person,[br]you are going to spend 0:04:16.051,0:04:19.091 the vast majority of your life[br]in two environments: 0:04:19.091,0:04:21.581 the place that you work[br]and the place that you live. 0:04:21.581,0:04:24.196 Now the place you live: you might own[br]your entire home, 0:04:24.196,0:04:27.110 you might rent, you might have a room,[br]you might have a condo. 0:04:27.110,0:04:29.970 Whatever you have you have[br]an environment that you call home. 0:04:29.970,0:04:32.587 And so these two environments,[br]your work and your home, 0:04:32.587,0:04:36.333 they have a tremendous impact[br]on your mental health 0:04:36.560,0:04:40.100 if for no reason, no other reason,[br]I should say, than volume. 0:04:40.100,0:04:42.556 They're where you spend[br]the majority of your time 0:04:42.556,0:04:45.765 and so the way they look,[br]the way they feel, the way they function, 0:04:45.765,0:04:49.058 is critical to your emotional well-being. 0:04:49.058,0:04:52.967 We know that the environments[br]that you spend your time in 0:04:52.967,0:04:55.840 have a huge impact on your mental health. 0:04:56.199,0:04:59.154 And basically, what it comes down to[br]for me, my phrasing is, 0:04:59.154,0:05:02.317 if you're your home doesn't feel[br]comfortable to you, 0:05:02.539,0:05:06.680 you basically never feel like your home,[br]it's like you don't have a home, 0:05:06.996,0:05:09.394 you don't have a space: you have a home 0:05:09.681,0:05:14.340 but what you don't have is a space[br]in this world that feels right to you: 0:05:14.549,0:05:17.067 that's what you're missing[br]and we all need that 0:05:17.067,0:05:19.033 and I believe we all deserve that. 0:05:19.033,0:05:22.115 But you will not have one[br]unless you make one 0:05:22.115,0:05:24.965 you're the one that has to create[br]and maintain it; 0:05:24.965,0:05:27.975 and I don't always like that either[br]but I don't make the rules, 0:05:27.975,0:05:30.442 I just report on them[br]and this is the way we work 0:05:30.442,0:05:35.133 Taking good care of your environment[br]can be a very time-consuming task 0:05:35.133,0:05:37.941 especially if you've neglected it[br]for a long time 0:05:37.993,0:05:40.894 but remember that you don't have[br]to do it all at once, right? 0:05:40.894,0:05:44.958 Start small do a little bit each day[br]and before you know it 0:05:45.308,0:05:47.322 maybe your heart will have a home again 0:05:47.482,0:05:51.738 and that's something that can be[br]invaluable for our mental health journey. 0:05:51.948,0:05:54.871 The third thing you probably already know[br]you should be doing 0:05:54.871,0:05:56.320 but might be struggling to do 0:05:56.320,0:05:59.387 is to actually Implement[br]sleep hygiene techniques. 0:05:59.639,0:06:01.662 There are two types of insomnia: 0:06:02.000,0:06:04.955 there's clinical insomnia and[br]there's behavioral insomnia. 0:06:05.681,0:06:07.847 Clinical insomnia is when,[br]for the most part, 0:06:07.847,0:06:09.350 you are doing things right: 0:06:09.440,0:06:13.068 your day is structured in a way that[br]should allow you to fall asleep 0:06:13.068,0:06:16.155 and stay asleep reasonably well[br]but you are unable to do so 0:06:16.155,0:06:17.870 and it takes hours to fall asleep. 0:06:17.870,0:06:21.752 Behavioral insomnia is when[br]you have a double shot at 300 p.m., 0:06:22.027,0:06:25.647 you get into bed at 11:00 p.m.,[br]you scroll on your phone till midnight, 0:06:25.647,0:06:27.918 then you toss and turn[br]until 3 in the morning. 0:06:28.150,0:06:31.840 In other words, you have insomnia[br]but it's because of choices you're making, 0:06:31.840,0:06:34.848 it's not because your brain doesn't know[br]how to go to sleep, 0:06:34.848,0:06:37.051 it's because you're not letting it[br]go to sleep 0:06:37.051,0:06:40.440 and you've set up your life in a way[br]that simply does not support sleep. 0:06:40.440,0:06:42.168 Most people who struggle with sleep 0:06:42.168,0:06:45.749 have behavioral insomnia,[br]not clinical insomnia 0:06:45.990,0:06:50.035 Clinical insomnia is actually[br]relatively rare and it's usually a matter 0:06:50.035,0:06:53.191 of lifestyle and habits[br]that are primarily facilitating 0:06:53.191,0:06:55.682 the experience of insomnia. 0:06:55.682,0:06:57.319 So my question to you would be: 0:06:57.633,0:07:00.541 "Are you actually practicing sleep hygiene 0:07:00.541,0:07:03.614 and suffering clinical insomnia[br]as a result 0:07:03.614,0:07:06.499 or are you self-sabotaging[br]and then complaining about it?" 0:07:06.788,0:07:09.352 Because -- not to put[br]too fine a point on it -- 0:07:09.352,0:07:12.421 but that's basically[br]what behavioral insomnia is: 0:07:12.421,0:07:16.754 you are -- unintentionally I know, I'm[br]oversimplifying things a little bit -- 0:07:17.081,0:07:20.418 you're making it as difficult as possible[br]for your brain to fall asleep 0:07:20.418,0:07:23.190 and then being, like:[br]"Brain, why didn't you fall asleep?" 0:07:23.190,0:07:26.460 I mean you're you're kind of gaslighting[br]your sleep cycle in a sense. 0:07:26.460,0:07:29.880 It's a weird way to think of it. I know,[br]but that's kind of what you're doing. 0:07:29.880,0:07:34.185 If you struggle with insomnia,[br]take a real honest inventory 0:07:34.185,0:07:36.921 of your nighttime routine[br]and ask yourself: 0:07:36.921,0:07:41.387 "Do I think it's reasonable that I should[br]be able to fall asleep pretty quickly 0:07:41.387,0:07:44.159 or am I basically taking everything[br]I know about sleep, 0:07:44.159,0:07:45.429 throwing it out the window 0:07:45.429,0:07:47.019 and thinking that's still going to work?" 0:07:47.019,0:07:48.242 Because it won't. 0:07:48.242,0:07:50.874 You're -- you have a brain[br]and you have a nervous system 0:07:50.874,0:07:55.833 and we know a lot about how these factors[br]affect our ability to fall asleep 0:07:55.833,0:07:57.120 and stay asleep. 0:07:57.120,0:07:59.870 And so sleep is not really a mystery, 0:07:59.870,0:08:02.215 it's just that most people[br]aren't doing it right 0:08:02.215,0:08:04.579 and that's really[br]what I want you to consider 0:08:04.579,0:08:06.340 if you're struggling with insomnia: 0:08:06.340,0:08:09.770 "Am I am I doing it right or am I just[br]gaslighting my own sleep cycle?" 0:08:09.770,0:08:12.780 The 4th thing that you probably[br]already know you should be doing 0:08:12.780,0:08:14.337 but might be having trouble with 0:08:14.337,0:08:17.561 is minimizing or eliminating[br]drug and alcohol use 0:08:17.711,0:08:21.602 Now this one's a little bit different,[br]I know, because this one is harder 0:08:21.602,0:08:24.673 for a person to control directly[br]than some of the other topics 0:08:24.673,0:08:28.036 we're going to discuss here and[br]believe me, I am understanding of that. 0:08:28.268,0:08:32.140 Most people who use drugs and alcohol[br]use them because they want to feel 0:08:32.140,0:08:35.100 anything other than what it is like[br]to be themselves 0:08:35.510,0:08:39.199 and it seems like nothing could possibly[br]worse than just waking up today 0:08:39.199,0:08:42.708 and feeling like me -- and frankly I know[br]what that feeling is like. 0:08:43.143,0:08:46.533 Substances put you on a physical[br]and mental roller coaster, though, 0:08:46.717,0:08:49.800 where instead of changing[br]what it feels like to be you, 0:08:49.800,0:08:53.252 which is ultimately the reality[br]that you are struggling with 0:08:53.252,0:08:57.357 you are temporarily escaping[br]what it feels like to be you 0:08:57.357,0:09:02.396 and when the escape wears up off[br]you often feel even worse than before 0:09:02.396,0:09:07.200 and therefore you feel an even stronger[br]desire to escape from yourself, 0:09:07.200,0:09:09.750 which manifests as increased substance use 0:09:09.750,0:09:12.589 and creates a downward spiral that[br]the longer it goes on 0:09:12.589,0:09:16.300 becomes harder and harder[br]to extricate yourself from. 0:09:16.434,0:09:20.023 So if this is you, and I have a little bit[br]of a different idea for you here, 0:09:20.023,0:09:23.480 because everything else in this video[br]has been about "here's what you can do". 0:09:23.480,0:09:25.640 If you're struggling with drug[br]and alcohol use 0:09:25.640,0:09:28.379 and the pattern I just described[br]kind of sounds like you, 0:09:28.379,0:09:31.060 maybe it's time to admit that[br]you cannot do this alone 0:09:31.060,0:09:33.190 and that you need some help[br]with this problem 0:09:33.190,0:09:38.267 Substance misuse is probably[br]the hardest mental health condition 0:09:38.267,0:09:41.882 to treat without support,[br]maybe tied with eating disorders 0:09:41.882,0:09:43.913 because they're very similar[br]neurologically 0:09:43.913,0:09:47.349 and I think that's mainly because[br]it's so easy to lie to yourself. 0:09:47.800,0:09:50.485 And, you know, most people[br]aren't deceiving themselves 0:09:50.485,0:09:54.017 about their depression or their anxiety[br]so, like, well, it's not that bad. 0:09:54.470,0:09:56.533 Usually you face those things[br]pretty head on 0:09:56.533,0:09:58.600 you're like no this is awful[br]and I need help 0:09:58.600,0:10:01.934 but when it comes to things that produce[br]a momentary sense of reward 0:10:01.934,0:10:04.628 like eating disorders and substance misuse 0:10:05.225,0:10:07.881 you tend to rationalize,[br]you tend to explain, 0:10:07.881,0:10:10.799 you tend to minimize,[br]you tend to make excuses. 0:10:10.799,0:10:15.756 And if you've had several unsuccessful[br]attempts at changing those habits 0:10:15.756,0:10:20.351 for yourself, maybe it's time to stop[br]putting so much pressure on yourself, 0:10:20.351,0:10:23.955 to accept some help and to accept[br]some support in this domain. 0:10:24.070,0:10:27.664 There is no shame in that: this is[br]typically not a solo endeavor 0:10:27.664,0:10:30.290 and it might be time to think[br]about asking for for help 0:10:30.290,0:10:31.917 The fifth thing that you probably already[br]know you should be doing 0:10:31.917,0:10:33.804 but might be having a hard time doing 0:10:33.804,0:10:35.660 is being physically active every day. 0:10:35.660,0:10:37.800 So I mean, this one is no mystery right? 0:10:37.800,0:10:40.420 You probably had a million people[br]tell you this already, 0:10:40.420,0:10:42.061 including your doctor every time[br]you see him 0:10:42.061,0:10:44.680 and every other medical professional[br]you interact with. 0:10:44.680,0:10:47.300 You've probably heard it so many times[br]that you're sick of hearing it 0:10:47.300,0:10:49.988 and you have an innate automatic[br]defensive response 0:10:49.988,0:10:51.460 when someone says this to you. 0:10:51.460,0:10:55.167 So sorry about that, because I probably[br]just triggered it, but here's the thing: 0:10:55.320,0:10:58.751 your brain needs blood your brain[br]does not work very well 0:10:58.751,0:11:02.611 if it does not have healthy[br]accessible blood flow. 0:11:02.611,0:11:05.230 It's literally one of the resources[br]your brain runs on, 0:11:05.230,0:11:09.773 it's like gasoline for your brain and[br]most of us have very sedentary lifestyles 0:11:09.773,0:11:12.839 which negatively impact[br]our cardiovascular health. 0:11:12.839,0:11:16.008 I mean, that's that's just the way[br]society is, it's not your fault. 0:11:16.008,0:11:19.160 That's the way society has gone:[br]most jobs don't use our bodies. 0:11:19.160,0:11:21.542 If you have a very physically active job 0:11:21.542,0:11:23.266 you probably don't need to worry[br]about this because 0:11:23.266,0:11:26.369 you are physically active every day,[br]it doesn't have to be extra, 0:11:26.369,0:11:28.364 it doesn't have to be prescribed exercise 0:11:28.364,0:11:32.394 if you get this in from your job[br]or from your kids or whatever: fine. 0:11:32.394,0:11:34.519 But if you're like me 0:11:34.519,0:11:37.881 and you literally just sit on your butt[br]for nine hours a day at work, 0:11:37.881,0:11:42.742 you need to add this if your[br]predefined life doesn't have enough of it. 0:11:42.742,0:11:48.700 I'm not a fan of how society has[br]made us so sedentary but it is what it is. 0:11:48.700,0:11:51.921 Since your brain[br]needs blood to work right. 0:11:51.921,0:11:55.060 Cardiovascular health is brain health. 0:11:55.060,0:11:58.795 if you constantly feel foggy, forgetful,[br]distracted or moody, 0:11:58.979,0:12:01.981 it might be because your brain[br]doesn't have enough blood flow 0:12:01.981,0:12:05.020 it might be because your brain[br]doesn't have one of the resources 0:12:05.020,0:12:07.757 that it needs to keep your prefrontal[br]cortex powered on. 0:12:07.757,0:12:10.556 Because all the things that I just said[br]live there 0:12:11.007,0:12:14.251 and when your brain is lacking in any[br]essential resource 0:12:14.251,0:12:16.543 -- blood, oxygen, rest[br]or caloric energy -- 0:12:16.543,0:12:20.366 it enters a low power mode, much like[br]what's on your phone 0:12:20.366,0:12:22.590 or your tablet or your laptop, 0:12:22.590,0:12:25.502 and certain processes don't work as well[br]as they normally do. 0:12:25.502,0:12:28.685 The first part of the brain[br]that takes the hit 0:12:28.685,0:12:31.270 when we're low on resources[br]is the prefrontal cortex: 0:12:31.270,0:12:34.159 it's executive functioning,[br]it's emotion regulation 0:12:34.159,0:12:35.750 it's social engagement. 0:12:35.750,0:12:37.980 So, if those are things[br]you're struggling with, 0:12:37.980,0:12:40.050 it's probably because your brain[br]doesn't have 0:12:40.050,0:12:42.446 all the resources it needs to[br]do its job properly. 0:12:42.446,0:12:45.563 The one thing I always try to emphasize[br]with physical activity too 0:12:45.563,0:12:48.900 is the way you do it[br]really doesn't matter: 0:12:49.130,0:12:51.429 if you want to lift weights, lift weights; 0:12:51.429,0:12:52.594 if you want to run, run; 0:12:52.594,0:12:54.505 if you want to do team sports, [br]do team sports; 0:12:54.505,0:12:57.494 if you hate some certain type[br]of exercise, don't do it. 0:12:57.494,0:13:01.735 it's not it's not hugely critical[br]how you do it 0:13:01.735,0:13:03.736 it's just critical that you do it. 0:13:03.926,0:13:07.682 So find something that you[br]either like, ideally. 0:13:07.682,0:13:09.930 If there's nothing,[br]like literally nothing, 0:13:09.930,0:13:11.653 find the thing you hate the least. 0:13:11.653,0:13:14.399 It can be some weird obscure thing: 0:13:14.399,0:13:16.720 maybe you want to get into hobby horsing, 0:13:16.720,0:13:19.533 and if you don't know what that is,[br]you should look it up on social media. 0:13:19.533,0:13:22.510 It's a fascinating world[br]if you do know what it is. 0:13:22.510,0:13:25.546 I appreciate the people who understand[br]my obscure references 0:13:25.546,0:13:27.060 because there are many of them. 0:13:27.190,0:13:30.300 Just do something to get that blood[br]going to your brain. 0:13:30.300,0:13:34.767 You might be amazed how much it helps, [br]you really might be amazed. 0:13:35.509,0:13:39.989 The sixth and final thing that you[br]probably -- asterisk to this one -- 0:13:39.989,0:13:43.473 probably know you should be doing[br]but are probably having trouble doing 0:13:43.473,0:13:47.380 is to stop beating yourself up[br]about how long it is taking 0:13:47.380,0:13:49.107 to get your life in order. 0:13:49.107,0:13:51.933 Now I realize that you might[br]have been doing that 0:13:51.933,0:13:55.691 throughout this video already[br]because as I'm saying things 0:13:55.691,0:13:58.199 that you probably already knew[br]you should be doing, 0:13:58.199,0:14:01.353 you might have been beating yourself up,[br]guilt tripping yourself, shaming yourself, 0:14:01.353,0:14:04.440 and if you were, knock it off right now. 0:14:04.440,0:14:06.880 Sorry I had to say it that way, 0:14:06.880,0:14:09.804 but seriously you're not doing yourself[br]any favors. 0:14:09.804,0:14:13.710 We all have enough pressure on us already,[br]probably more than enough pressure 0:14:13.710,0:14:15.769 probably a maladaptive amount of pressure, 0:14:15.769,0:14:17.109 and change is hard. 0:14:17.109,0:14:20.543 Our brains actively resist it[br]because they're wired for homeostasis 0:14:20.543,0:14:24.922 We associate familiarity[br]with safety and with security 0:14:24.922,0:14:27.142 and on a very basic survival level, 0:14:27.142,0:14:29.500 we fight back against[br]our own attempts to change. 0:14:29.800,0:14:33.740 Putting too much pressure on yourself[br]tends to keep you stuck 0:14:33.740,0:14:38.060 So try patience and gentleness instead[br]and see what happens. 0:14:38.279,0:14:43.150 It is amazing what people can do[br]when they finally feel understood 0:14:43.150,0:14:45.686 and are treated with respect[br]and compassion. 0:14:45.686,0:14:49.441 And it is very possible that the person[br]most standing in your way 0:14:49.441,0:14:51.373 of feeling those things and[br]experiencing those things 0:14:51.373,0:14:52.413 is you.