6 Foundational Things That Will Improve Your Mental Health

mental health is not the mystery
that it once was

although there's a lot of things we
don't know about how the brain works

or why people feel certain things
or what makes it better,

there also is a lot that we have
figured out since the days

of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung
and those early pioneers of psychology.

There are many things that we can
definitively say:

"If you do this thing you will see
some amount of improvement ."

The problem is that a lot
of these proven strategies

for improving mental health are difficult,

uncomfortable or unpleasant to implement;

and a trap I see people get sucked into
all the time is they keep looking

for new solutions, new answers, new ideas,

not because they don't have any solutions

but because they don't like
the solutions they have.

They don't want to implement the things
that they already know

and so they spend hours and hours
reading books listening to podcasts

watching YouTube videos to try to find
an easier faster or more convenient way

to make the changes they already know
they should be making.

The thing about this is it's at best
this is procrastination

at worst it's avoidance.

Sometimes we need to stop acquiring
new information and focus

on applying the information
we already have.

And rather than looking
for that magic bullet, so to speak,

work on creating a foundation
combined with all of the things

we already know are definitely going
to help us if we could get them going.

When I hear somebody in therapy say:
"I've tried everything",

what they usually mean is:
I've tried everything that I want to try".

So that's why today instead of presenting
a new concept,

I'm going to review some things
that you probably already know,

but what I am hoping to do is maybe
present them in a new or novel way

that will make them feel more accessible,
more attainable

or more applicable
than they previously did.

So, without further ado
here are seven things

that you probably already know
you should be doing

but might be struggling to implement
into your life.

And the first is doing things
that you are scared to do,

in other words exposure therapy,
facing your fears.

Your comfort zone only grows
when you are not in it.

This is critical for you to understand.

And engaging in activities that cause you
anxiety or that cause you discomfort

is a lot ... it's kind of like stretching
your emotional range

in the same way that something
like yoga or calisthenics

is like stretching your movement range.

It doesn't necessarily feel great
while you are doing it.

In fact it can often be an unpleasant
experience while you're doing it.

But if you do it regularly,
navigating the world

becomes more enjoyable and less painful.

And you're less likely to get hurt:

if you stretch regularly,
you are less likely to hurt your body

when you're out and about
moving around

and there's fewer situations that you're
unable to physically navigate, right?

When you practice regular exposure therapy
and work on

in a sort of a planned strategic manner

facing, and hopefully eventually
conquering the things you are afraid of,

the world starts to open up to you.

It becomes more accessible and less scary
because there are fewer situations

you can imagine that you would find
yourself in that overwhelm your anxiety.

This is a huge part of why I used to be
so isolated when I was younger,

it's because I was terrified of doing
literally everything

other than playing video games in my room,
to be honest with you.

And so I avoided people I avoided
opportunity, I avoided school,

I avoided work because I felt like
I had so few skills

and so little coping ability that
it was only a matter of time

before I'd encounter a situation
that would completely overwhelm me,

so I didn't enter situations like
literally I just didn't

The more confidence you have
about your ability to navigate

these stressful situations
the less scary life becomes

and the more opportunities you have.

The second thing that you probably
already know you should be doing

but might be struggling to do
is taking good care of your living space.

Unless you are an absurdly wealthy person,
you are going to spend

the vast majority of your life
in two environments:

the place that you work
and the place that you live.

Now the place you live: you might own
your entire home,

you might rent, you might have a room

you might have a condo.

Whatever you have you have
an environment that you call home.

And so these two environments,
your work and your home,

they have a tremendous impact
on your mental health

if for no reason, no other reason,
I should say, than volume.

They're where you spend
the majority of your time

and so the way they look,
the way they feel, the way they function,

is critical to your emotional well-being-

We know that the environments
that you spend your time in

have a huge impact on your mental health.

And basically, what it comes down to
for me, my phrasing is,

if you're your home doesn't feel
comfortable to you,

you basically never feel like your home,
it's like you don't have a home,

you don't have a space: you have a home

but what you don't have is a space
in this world that feels right to you:

that's what you're missing
and we all need that

and I believe we all deserve that.

But you will not have one
unless you make one

you're the one that has to create
and maintain it;

and I don't always like that either
but I don't make the rules,

I just report on them
and this is the way we work

Taking good care of your environment
can be a very time-consuming task

especially if you've neglected it
for a long time

but remember that you don't have
to do it all at once, right?

Start small do a little bit each day
and before you know it

maybe your heart will have a home again

and that's something that can be
invaluable for our mental health journey.

The third thing you probably already know
you should be doing

but might be struggling to do

is to actually Implement
sleep hygiene techniques.

There are two types of insomnia:

there's clinical insomnia and
there's behavioral insomnia.

Clinical insomnia is when,
for the most part,

you are doing things right:

your day is structured in a way that
should allow you to fall asleep

and stay asleep reasonably well
but you are unable to do so

and it takes hours to fall asleep.

Behavioral insomnia is when
you have a double shot at 300 p.m.,

you get into bed at 11:00 p.m.,
you scroll on your phone till midnight,

then you toss and turn
until 3 in the morning.

In other words, you have insomnia
but it's because of choices you're making,

it's not because your brain doesn't know
how to go to sleep,

it's because you're not letting it
go to sleep

and you've set up your life in a way
that simply does not support sleep.

Most people who struggle with sleep

have behavioral insomnia,
not clinical insomnia

Clinical insomnia is actually
relatively rare and it's usually a matter

of lifestyle and habits
that are primarily facilitating

the experience of insomnia.

So my question to you would be:

"Are you actually practicing sleep hygiene

and suffering clinical insomnia
as a result

or are you self-sabotaging
and then complaining about it?"

Because -- not to put
too fine a point on it --

but that's basically
what behavioral insomnia is:

you are -- unintentionally I know, I'm
oversimplifying things a little bit --

you're making it as difficult as possible
for your brain to fall asleep

and then being, like:
"Brain, why didn't you fall asleep?"

I mean you're you're kind of gaslighting
your sleep cycle in a sense.

It's a weird way to think of it. I know,
but that's kind of what you're doing.

If you struggle with insomnia,
take a real honest inventory

of your nighttime routine
and ask yourself:

"Do I think it's reasonable that I should
be able to fall asleep pretty quickly

or am I basically taking everything
I know about sleep,

throwing it out the window

and thinking that's still going to work?"

Because it won't.

You're -- you have a brain
and you have a nervous system

and we know a lot about how these factors
affect our ability to fall asleep

and stay asleep.

And so sleep is not really a mystery,

it's just that most people
aren't doing it right and that's really

what I want you to consider if you're
struggling with insomnia:

"Am I am I doing it right or am I just
gaslighting my own sleep cycle?"

The 4th thing that you probably
already know you should be doing

but might be having trouble with

is minimizing or eliminating
drug and alcohol use

Now this one's a little bit different,
I know, because this one is harder

for a person to control directly
than some of the other topics

we're going to discuss here and
believe me, I am understanding of that.

Most people who use drugs and alcohol
use them because they want to feel

anything other than what it is like
to be themselves

and it seems like nothing could possibly
worse than just waking up today

and feeling like me -- and frankly I know
what that feeling is like.

Substances put you on a physical
and mental roller coaster, though,

where instead of changing
what it feels like to be you,

which is ultimately the reality
that you are struggling with

you are temporarily escaping
what it feels like to be you

and when the escape wears up off
you often feel even worse than before

and therefore you feel an even stronger
desire to escape from yourself,

which manifests as increased substance use

and creates a downward spiral that
the longer it goes on

becomes harder and harder
to extricate yourself from.

So if this is you, and I have a little bit
of a different idea for you here,

because everything else in this video
has been about "here's what you can do". ////

If you're struggling with drug
and alcohol use

and the pattern I just described
kind of sounds like you,

maybe it's time to admit that
you cannot do this alone

and that you need some help
with this problem

Substance misuse is probably
the hardest mental health condition

to treat without support,
maybe tied with eating disorders

because they're very similar
neurologically

and I think that's mainly because
it's so easy to lie to yourself

and, you know, most people
aren't deceiving themselves

about their depression or their anxiety so like well

it's not that bad like usually you face

those things pretty head on you're like

no this is awful and I need help but

when it comes to that produce a

momentary sense of reward like eating

disorders and substance misuse you tend

to rationalize you tend to explain you

tend to minimize you tend to make

excuses and if you've had several

unsuccessful attempts at changing those

habits for yourself maybe it's time to

stop putting so much pressure on

yourself to accept some help and to

accept some support in this domain there

is no shame in that this is typically

not a solo Endeavor and it might be time

to think about asking for for help the

fifth thing that you probably already

know you should be doing but might be

having a hard time doing is being

Physically Active every day so I mean

this one is no mystery right you

probably had a million people tell you

this already including your doctor every

time you see them and every other

Medical Professional you interact with

you've probably heard it so many times

that you're sick of hearing it and you

have an innate automatic defensive

response when someone says this to you

so sorry about that because I probably

just triggered it but here's the thing

your brain needs blood your brain does

not work very well if it does not have

healthy accessible blood flow it's

literally one of the resources your

brain runs on it's like gasoline for

your brain and most of us have very

sedentary Lifestyles which negatively

impact our cardiovascular health I mean

that's that's just the way Society has

it's not your fault that's the way

Society has gone most jobs don't use our

bodies if you have a very Physically

Active job you probably don't need to

worry about this because you are

Physically Active every day it doesn't

have to be extra right it doesn't have

to be prescribed exercise if you get

this in from your job or from your kids

or whatever fine but if you're like me

and you literally just sit on your butt

for nine hours a day at work you need to

add this in your predefined life doesn't

have enough of it it's I'm not a fan of

how Society has made us so sedentary but

it is what it is since your brain needs

blood to work right cardiovascular

health is brain health if you constantly

feel foggy forgetful distracted or Moody

it might be because your brain doesn't

have enough blood flow it might be

because your brain doesn't have one of

the resources that needs to keep your

prefrontal cortex powered on because all

the things that I just said live there

and when your brain is lacking in any

essential resource blood oxygen rest or

caloric energy it enters a low power

mode much like what's on your phone or

your tablet or your laptop and certain

processes don't work as well as they

normally do the first part of the brain

that takes the hit when we're low on

resources is the prefrontal cortex it's

executive functioning its emotion

regulation it's social engagement so if

those are things you're struggling with

it's probably because your brain doesn't

have all the resources it needs to do

its job properly the one thing I always

try to emphasize with physical activity

too is like the way you do it really

doesn't matter if you want to lift

weights lift weights if you want to run

run if you want to do team sports do

team sports like if you hate some

certain type of exercise don't do it

it's not it's not huge

critical how you do it it's just

critical that you do it so find

something that you either like ideally

if there's nothing like literally

nothing find the thing you hate the

least it can be some weird obscure thing

maybe you want to get into hobby horsing

and if you don't know what that is you

should look it up on social media it's a

fascinating world if you do know what it

is I appreciate the people who

understand my obscure references because

there are many of them just do something

to get that that blood going to your

brain you might be amazed how much it

helps you really might be amazed the

sixth and final thing that you probably

asteris did this one probably know you

should be doing but are probably having

trouble doing is to stop beating

yourself up about how long it is taking

to get your life in order now I realize

that you might have been doing that

throughout this video already because as

I'm saying things that you probably

already knew you should be doing you

might have been beating yourself up

guilt tripping yourself shaming yourself

and if you were knock it off right now

sorry I had to say it that way but

seriously you're not doing yourself any

favors we all have enough pressure on us

already probably more than enough

pressure probably a maladaptive amount

of pressure and changes hard our brains

actively resist it because they're wired

for homeostasis we associate familiarity

with safety and with security and on a

very basic survival level we fight back

against our own attempts change putting

too much pressure on yourself tends to

keep you stuck so try patience and

gentleness instead and see what happens

it is amazing what people can do when

they finally feel understood and are

treated with respect and compassion and

it is very possible that the person most

standing in your way of feeling those

things and experiencing those things is

you