1
00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,001
mental health is not the mystery
that it once was

2
00:00:03,001 --> 00:00:06,791
although there's a lot of things we 
don't know about how the brain works

3
00:00:06,791 --> 00:00:09,480
or why people feel certain things
or what makes it better,

4
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:12,350
there also is a lot that we have 
figured out since the days

5
00:00:12,350 --> 00:00:16,408
of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung
and those early pioneers of psychology.

6
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:19,808
There are many things that we can
definitively say:

7
00:00:19,808 --> 00:00:24,373
"If you do this thing you will see
some amount of improvement ."

8
00:00:24,851 --> 00:00:27,720
The problem is that a lot
of these proven strategies

9
00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:30,225
for improving mental health are difficult,

10
00:00:30,225 --> 00:00:32,669
uncomfortable or unpleasant to implement;

11
00:00:33,016 --> 00:00:37,540
and a trap I see people get sucked into
all the time is they keep looking

12
00:00:37,540 --> 00:00:40,934
for new solutions, new answers, new ideas,

13
00:00:40,934 --> 00:00:43,735
not because they don't have any solutions

14
00:00:44,005 --> 00:00:46,821
but because they don't like
the solutions they have.

15
00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:50,167
They don't want to implement the things
that they already know

16
00:00:50,167 --> 00:00:54,886
and so they spend hours and hours
reading books listening to podcasts

17
00:00:54,886 --> 00:01:00,320
watching YouTube videos to try to find
an easier faster or more convenient way

18
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,680
to make the changes they already know
they should be making.

19
00:01:03,829 --> 00:01:07,366
The thing about this is it's at best
this is procrastination

20
00:01:07,366 --> 00:01:09,075
at worst it's avoidance.

21
00:01:09,220 --> 00:01:14,203
Sometimes we need to stop acquiring
new information and focus

22
00:01:14,203 --> 00:01:17,052
on applying the information
we already have.

23
00:01:17,052 --> 00:01:19,825
And rather than looking
for that magic bullet, so to speak,

24
00:01:19,825 --> 00:01:24,609
work on creating a foundation
combined with all of the things

25
00:01:24,609 --> 00:01:28,500
we already know are definitely going
to help us if we could get them going.

26
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:32,595
When I hear somebody in therapy say:
"I've tried everything",

27
00:01:33,140 --> 00:01:37,314
what they usually mean is:
I've tried everything that I want to try".

28
00:01:37,684 --> 00:01:41,292
So that's why today instead of presenting
a new concept,

29
00:01:41,292 --> 00:01:45,149
I'm going to review some things
that you probably already know,

30
00:01:45,489 --> 00:01:51,118
but what I am hoping to do is maybe
present them in a new or novel way

31
00:01:51,118 --> 00:01:55,411
that will make them feel more accessible,
more attainable

32
00:01:55,805 --> 00:01:58,433
or more applicable
than they previously did.

33
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,880
So, without further ado
here are seven things

34
00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,569
that you probably already know
you should be doing

35
00:02:04,836 --> 00:02:07,316
but might be struggling to implement
into your life.

36
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:11,034
And the first is doing things
that you are scared to do,

37
00:02:11,034 --> 00:02:14,095
in other words exposure therapy,
facing your fears.

38
00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:19,548
Your comfort zone only grows
when you are not in it.

39
00:02:19,879 --> 00:02:23,120
This is critical for you to understand.

40
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,927
And engaging in activities that cause you
anxiety or that cause you discomfort

41
00:02:27,927 --> 00:02:31,985
is a lot ... it's kind of like stretching
your emotional range

42
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:35,345
in the same way that something
like yoga or calisthenics

43
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,615
is like stretching your movement range.

44
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,900
It doesn't necessarily feel great
while you are doing it.

45
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:45,291
In fact it can often be an unpleasant
experience while you're doing it.

46
00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:49,808
But if you do it regularly,
navigating the world

47
00:02:49,808 --> 00:02:52,691
becomes more enjoyable and less painful.

48
00:02:52,819 --> 00:02:54,512
And you're less likely to get hurt:

49
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:57,952
if you stretch regularly,
you are less likely to hurt your body

50
00:02:57,952 --> 00:02:59,800
when you're out and about
moving around

51
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,470
and there's fewer situations that you're
unable to physically navigate, right?

52
00:03:03,548 --> 00:03:07,108
When you practice regular exposure therapy
and work on

53
00:03:07,108 --> 00:03:09,375
in a sort of a planned strategic manner

54
00:03:09,375 --> 00:03:13,647
facing, and hopefully eventually
conquering the things you are afraid of,

55
00:03:13,647 --> 00:03:16,545
the world starts to open up to you.

56
00:03:16,545 --> 00:03:21,344
It becomes more accessible and less scary
because there are fewer situations

57
00:03:21,344 --> 00:03:26,035
you can imagine that you would find
yourself in that overwhelm your anxiety.

58
00:03:26,233 --> 00:03:30,505
This is a huge part of why I used to be
so isolated when I was younger,

59
00:03:30,505 --> 00:03:33,751
it's because I was terrified of doing
literally everything

60
00:03:33,751 --> 00:03:36,848
other than playing video games in my room,
to be honest with you.

61
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:41,536
And so I avoided people I avoided
opportunity, I avoided school,

62
00:03:41,536 --> 00:03:45,723
I avoided work because I felt like
I had so few skills

63
00:03:45,723 --> 00:03:48,769
and so little coping ability that
it was only a matter of time

64
00:03:48,769 --> 00:03:51,993
before I'd encounter a situation
that would completely overwhelm me,

65
00:03:51,993 --> 00:03:54,670
so I didn't enter situations like
literally I just didn't

66
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:59,509
The more confidence you have
about your ability to navigate

67
00:03:59,509 --> 00:04:02,915
these stressful situations
the less scary life becomes

68
00:04:02,915 --> 00:04:04,983
and the more opportunities you have.

69
00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:08,163
The second thing that you probably
already know you should be doing

70
00:04:08,163 --> 00:04:12,500
but might be struggling to do
is taking good care of your living space.

71
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:16,051
Unless you are an absurdly wealthy person,
you are going to spend

72
00:04:16,051 --> 00:04:19,091
the vast majority of your life
in two environments:

73
00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:21,581
the place that you work
and the place that you live.

74
00:04:21,581 --> 00:04:24,156
Now the place you live: you might own
your entire home,

75
00:04:24,156 --> 00:04:25,930
you might rent, you might have a room

76
00:04:25,930 --> 00:04:26,650
you might have a condo.

77
00:04:26,650 --> 00:04:29,681
Whatever you have you have
an environment that you call home.

78
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:32,587
And so these two environments,
your work and your home,

79
00:04:32,587 --> 00:04:36,333
they have a tremendous impact
on your mental health

80
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:40,100
if for no reason, no other reason,
I should say, than volume.

81
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:42,556
They're where you spend
the majority of your time

82
00:04:42,556 --> 00:04:45,765
and so the way they look,
the way they feel, the way they function,

83
00:04:45,765 --> 00:04:49,058
is critical to your emotional well-being-

84
00:04:49,058 --> 00:04:52,807
We know that the environments
that you spend your time in

85
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,807
have a huge impact on your mental health.

86
00:04:56,199 --> 00:04:59,154
And basically, what it comes down to
for me, my phrasing is,

87
00:04:59,154 --> 00:05:02,317
if you're your home doesn't feel
comfortable to you,

88
00:05:02,539 --> 00:05:06,680
you basically never feel like your home,
it's like you don't have a home,

89
00:05:06,996 --> 00:05:09,394
you don't have a space: you have a home

90
00:05:09,681 --> 00:05:14,340
but what you don't have is a space
in this world that feels right to you:

91
00:05:14,549 --> 00:05:17,067
that's what you're missing
and we all need that

92
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,033
and I believe we all deserve that.

93
00:05:19,033 --> 00:05:22,115
But you will not have one
unless you make one

94
00:05:22,115 --> 00:05:24,965
you're the one that has to create
and maintain it;

95
00:05:24,965 --> 00:05:27,975
and I don't always like that either
but I don't make the rules,

96
00:05:27,975 --> 00:05:30,442
I just report on them
and this is the way we work

97
00:05:30,442 --> 00:05:35,133
Taking good care of your environment
can be a very time-consuming task

98
00:05:35,133 --> 00:05:37,941
especially if you've neglected it
for a long time

99
00:05:37,993 --> 00:05:40,894
but remember that you don't have
to do it all at once, right?

100
00:05:40,894 --> 00:05:44,958
Start small do a little bit each day
and before you know it

101
00:05:45,308 --> 00:05:47,322
maybe your heart will have a home again

102
00:05:47,482 --> 00:05:51,738
and that's something that can be
invaluable for our mental health journey.

103
00:05:51,988 --> 00:05:54,871
The third thing you probably already know
you should be doing

104
00:05:54,871 --> 00:05:56,320
but might be struggling to do

105
00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,387
is to actually Implement
sleep hygiene techniques.

106
00:05:59,639 --> 00:06:01,662
There are two types of insomnia:

107
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,955
there's clinical insomnia and
there's behavioral insomnia.

108
00:06:05,681 --> 00:06:07,847
Clinical insomnia is when,
for the most part,

109
00:06:07,847 --> 00:06:09,350
you are doing things right:

110
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:13,068
your day is structured in a way that
should allow you to fall asleep

111
00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:16,155
and stay asleep reasonably well
but you are unable to do so

112
00:06:16,155 --> 00:06:17,870
and it takes hours to fall asleep.

113
00:06:17,870 --> 00:06:21,752
Behavioral insomnia is when
you have a double shot at 300 p.m.,

114
00:06:22,027 --> 00:06:25,647
you get into bed at 11:00 p.m.,
you scroll on your phone till midnight,

115
00:06:25,647 --> 00:06:27,918
then you toss and turn
until 3 in the morning.

116
00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:31,840
In other words, you have insomnia
but it's because of choices you're making,

117
00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:34,848
it's not because your brain doesn't know
how to go to sleep,

118
00:06:34,848 --> 00:06:37,051
it's because you're not letting it
go to sleep

119
00:06:37,051 --> 00:06:40,440
and you've set up your life in a way
that simply does not support sleep.

120
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,168
Most people who struggle with sleep

121
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:45,749
have behavioral insomnia,
not clinical insomnia

122
00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:50,035
Clinical insomnia is actually
relatively rare and it's usually a matter

123
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:53,191
of lifestyle and habits
that are primarily facilitating

124
00:06:53,191 --> 00:06:55,682
the experience of insomnia.

125
00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:57,319
So my question to you would be:

126
00:06:57,633 --> 00:07:00,541
"Are you actually practicing sleep hygiene

127
00:07:00,541 --> 00:07:03,614
and suffering clinical insomnia
as a result

128
00:07:03,614 --> 00:07:06,499
or are you self-sabotaging
and then complaining about it?"

129
00:07:06,788 --> 00:07:09,352
Because -- not to put
too fine a point on it --

130
00:07:09,352 --> 00:07:12,421
but that's basically
what behavioral insomnia is:

131
00:07:12,421 --> 00:07:16,754
you are -- unintentionally I know, I'm
oversimplifying things a little bit --

132
00:07:17,081 --> 00:07:20,418
you're making it as difficult as possible
for your brain to fall asleep

133
00:07:20,418 --> 00:07:23,190
and then being, like:
"Brain, why didn't you fall asleep?"

134
00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:26,460
I mean you're you're kind of gaslighting
your sleep cycle in a sense.

135
00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:29,880
It's a weird way to think of it. I know,
but that's kind of what you're doing.

136
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:33,833
If you struggle with insomnia,
take a real honest inventory

137
00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:36,921
of your nighttime routine
and ask yourself:

138
00:07:36,921 --> 00:07:41,387
"Do I think it's reasonable that I should
be able to fall asleep pretty quickly

139
00:07:41,387 --> 00:07:44,159
or am I basically taking everything
I know about sleep,

140
00:07:44,159 --> 00:07:45,449
throwing it out the window

141
00:07:45,449 --> 00:07:47,199
and thinking that's still going to work?"

142
00:07:47,199 --> 00:07:48,242
Because it won't.

143
00:07:48,242 --> 00:07:50,874
You're -- you have a brain
and you have a nervous system

144
00:07:50,874 --> 00:07:55,833
and we know a lot about how these factors
affect our ability to fall asleep

145
00:07:55,833 --> 00:07:57,120
and stay asleep.

146
00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,870
And so sleep is not really a mystery,

147
00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:03,396
it's just that most people
aren't doing it right and that's really

148
00:08:03,396 --> 00:08:06,360
what I want you to consider if you're
struggling with insomnia:

149
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,770
"Am I am I doing it right or am I just
gaslighting my own sleep cycle?"

150
00:08:09,770 --> 00:08:12,780
The 4th thing that you probably
already know you should be doing

151
00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:14,337
but might be having trouble with

152
00:08:14,337 --> 00:08:17,561
is minimizing or eliminating
drug and alcohol use

153
00:08:17,711 --> 00:08:21,602
Now this one's a little bit different,
I know, because this one is harder

154
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:24,673
for a person to control directly
than some of the other topics

155
00:08:24,673 --> 00:08:28,036
we're going to discuss here and
believe me, I am understanding of that.

156
00:08:28,268 --> 00:08:32,140
Most people who use drugs and alcohol
use them because they want to feel

157
00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:35,100
anything other than what it is like
to be themselves

158
00:08:35,510 --> 00:08:39,199
and it seems like nothing could possibly
worse than just waking up today

159
00:08:39,199 --> 00:08:42,708
and feeling like me -- and frankly I know
what that feeling is like.

160
00:08:43,143 --> 00:08:46,533
Substances put you on a physical
and mental roller coaster, though,

161
00:08:46,717 --> 00:08:49,800
where instead of changing
what it feels like to be you,

162
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:53,252
which is ultimately the reality
that you are struggling with

163
00:08:53,252 --> 00:08:57,357
you are temporarily escaping
what it feels like to be you

164
00:08:57,357 --> 00:09:02,396
and when the escape wears up off
you often feel even worse than before

165
00:09:02,396 --> 00:09:07,200
and therefore you feel an even stronger
desire to escape from yourself,

166
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,750
which manifests as increased substance use

167
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:12,589
and creates a downward spiral that
the longer it goes on

168
00:09:12,589 --> 00:09:16,300
becomes harder and harder
to extricate yourself from.

169
00:09:16,434 --> 00:09:20,033
So if this is you, and I have a little bit
of a different idea for you here,

170
00:09:20,033 --> 00:09:23,480
because everything else in this video
has been about "here's what you can do". ////

171
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,640
If you're struggling with drug
and alcohol use

172
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,839
and the pattern I just described
kind of sounds like you,

173
00:09:28,839 --> 00:09:31,040
maybe it's time to admit that
you cannot do this alone

174
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:32,240
and that you need some help
with this problem

175
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:36,800
Substance misuse is probably
the hardest mental health condition

176
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,399
to treat without support,
maybe tied with eating disorders

177
00:09:41,399 --> 00:09:43,079
because they're very similar
neurologically

178
00:09:43,079 --> 00:09:44,839
and I think that's mainly because
it's so easy to lie to yourself

179
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:50,485
and, you know, most people
aren't deceiving themselves

180
00:09:50,485 --> 00:09:52,640
about their depression or their anxiety so like well

181
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,440
it's not that bad like usually you face

182
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:56,800
those things pretty head on you're like

183
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,600
no this is awful and I need help but

184
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,200
when it comes to that produce a

185
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,920
momentary sense of reward like eating

186
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,480
disorders and substance misuse you tend

187
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,360
to rationalize you tend to explain you

188
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,079
tend to minimize you tend to make

189
00:10:10,079 --> 00:10:13,200
excuses and if you've had several

190
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,360
unsuccessful attempts at changing those

191
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,839
habits for yourself maybe it's time to

192
00:10:17,839 --> 00:10:20,000
stop putting so much pressure on

193
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,360
yourself to accept some help and to

194
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,240
accept some support in this domain there

195
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,600
is no shame in that this is typically

196
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,560
not a solo Endeavor and it might be time

197
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,120
to think about asking for for help the

198
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,360
fifth thing that you probably already

199
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:32,519
know you should be doing but might be

200
00:10:32,519 --> 00:10:34,320
having a hard time doing is being

201
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,200
Physically Active every day so I mean

202
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,800
this one is no mystery right you

203
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,360
probably had a million people tell you

204
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:41,120
this already including your doctor every

205
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,720
time you see them and every other

206
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,680
Medical Professional you interact with

207
00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:45,920
you've probably heard it so many times

208
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,240
that you're sick of hearing it and you

209
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,519
have an innate automatic defensive

210
00:10:49,519 --> 00:10:51,320
response when someone says this to you

211
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:52,720
so sorry about that because I probably

212
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,320
just triggered it but here's the thing

213
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,760
your brain needs blood your brain does

214
00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,760
not work very well if it does not have

215
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,920
healthy accessible blood flow it's

216
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,240
literally one of the resources your

217
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,760
brain runs on it's like gasoline for

218
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,279
your brain and most of us have very

219
00:11:08,279 --> 00:11:10,959
sedentary Lifestyles which negatively

220
00:11:10,959 --> 00:11:12,839
impact our cardiovascular health I mean

221
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,560
that's that's just the way Society has

222
00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:16,360
it's not your fault that's the way

223
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,160
Society has gone most jobs don't use our

224
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,160
bodies if you have a very Physically

225
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,600
Active job you probably don't need to

226
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:23,600
worry about this because you are

227
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,000
Physically Active every day it doesn't

228
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,399
have to be extra right it doesn't have

229
00:11:26,399 --> 00:11:28,720
to be prescribed exercise if you get

230
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,680
this in from your job or from your kids

231
00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:34,519
or whatever fine but if you're like me

232
00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:36,079
and you literally just sit on your butt

233
00:11:36,079 --> 00:11:38,600
for nine hours a day at work you need to

234
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,560
add this in your predefined life doesn't

235
00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:45,079
have enough of it it's I'm not a fan of

236
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:48,000
how Society has made us so sedentary but

237
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,800
it is what it is since your brain needs

238
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,360
blood to work right cardiovascular

239
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,839
health is brain health if you constantly

240
00:11:55,839 --> 00:11:59,279
feel foggy forgetful distracted or Moody

241
00:11:59,279 --> 00:12:00,800
it might be because your brain doesn't

242
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,639
have enough blood flow it might be

243
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:03,839
because your brain doesn't have one of

244
00:12:03,839 --> 00:12:05,480
the resources that needs to keep your

245
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:08,480
prefrontal cortex powered on because all

246
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:11,040
the things that I just said live there

247
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,440
and when your brain is lacking in any

248
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,680
essential resource blood oxygen rest or

249
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,519
caloric energy it enters a low power

250
00:12:18,519 --> 00:12:20,680
mode much like what's on your phone or

251
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:23,000
your tablet or your laptop and certain

252
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,880
processes don't work as well as they

253
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,800
normally do the first part of the brain

254
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,279
that takes the hit when we're low on

255
00:12:29,279 --> 00:12:31,639
resources is the prefrontal cortex it's

256
00:12:31,639 --> 00:12:33,440
executive functioning its emotion

257
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:36,240
regulation it's social engagement so if

258
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,720
those are things you're struggling with

259
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,160
it's probably because your brain doesn't

260
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,959
have all the resources it needs to do

261
00:12:40,959 --> 00:12:43,760
its job properly the one thing I always

262
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,320
try to emphasize with physical activity

263
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,320
too is like the way you do it really

264
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:50,519
doesn't matter if you want to lift

265
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,199
weights lift weights if you want to run

266
00:12:52,199 --> 00:12:53,600
run if you want to do team sports do

267
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,920
team sports like if you hate some

268
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,600
certain type of exercise don't do it

269
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,760
it's not it's not huge

270
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:02,360
critical how you do it it's just

271
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,120
critical that you do it so find

272
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,279
something that you either like ideally

273
00:13:08,279 --> 00:13:09,800
if there's nothing like literally

274
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,160
nothing find the thing you hate the

275
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:14,399
least it can be some weird obscure thing

276
00:13:14,399 --> 00:13:16,720
maybe you want to get into hobby horsing

277
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,000
and if you don't know what that is you

278
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,760
should look it up on social media it's a

279
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,920
fascinating world if you do know what it

280
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,880
is I appreciate the people who

281
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,440
understand my obscure references because

282
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,600
there are many of them just do something

283
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,959
to get that that blood going to your

284
00:13:29,959 --> 00:13:32,920
brain you might be amazed how much it

285
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,959
helps you really might be amazed the

286
00:13:35,959 --> 00:13:38,959
sixth and final thing that you probably

287
00:13:38,959 --> 00:13:40,920
asteris did this one probably know you

288
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,800
should be doing but are probably having

289
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,320
trouble doing is to stop beating

290
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,560
yourself up about how long it is taking

291
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,360
to get your life in order now I realize

292
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,120
that you might have been doing that

293
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,680
throughout this video already because as

294
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,320
I'm saying things that you probably

295
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:58,199
already knew you should be doing you

296
00:13:58,199 --> 00:13:59,399
might have been beating yourself up

297
00:13:59,399 --> 00:14:01,480
guilt tripping yourself shaming yourself

298
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,440
and if you were knock it off right now

299
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,880
sorry I had to say it that way but

300
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,279
seriously you're not doing yourself any

301
00:14:09,279 --> 00:14:12,320
favors we all have enough pressure on us

302
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:13,519
already probably more than enough

303
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,079
pressure probably a maladaptive amount

304
00:14:15,079 --> 00:14:17,399
of pressure and changes hard our brains

305
00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:19,480
actively resist it because they're wired

306
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:23,440
for homeostasis we associate familiarity

307
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,880
with safety and with security and on a

308
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,920
very basic survival level we fight back

309
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,440
against our own attempts change putting

310
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:32,759
too much pressure on yourself tends to

311
00:14:32,759 --> 00:14:35,639
keep you stuck so try patience and

312
00:14:35,639 --> 00:14:38,279
gentleness instead and see what happens

313
00:14:38,279 --> 00:14:41,720
it is amazing what people can do when

314
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,759
they finally feel understood and are

315
00:14:43,759 --> 00:14:46,040
treated with respect and compassion and

316
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,440
it is very possible that the person most

317
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:49,920
standing in your way of feeling those

318
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,720
things and experiencing those things is

319
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,240
you