WEBVTT 00:00:00.240 --> 00:00:03.001 Mental health is not the mystery that it once was 00:00:03.001 --> 00:00:06.681 although there's a lot of things we don't know about how the brain works 00:00:06.681 --> 00:00:09.480 or why people feel certain things or what makes it better, 00:00:09.480 --> 00:00:12.350 there also is a lot that we have figured out since the days 00:00:12.350 --> 00:00:16.408 of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung and those early pioneers of psychology. 00:00:16.767 --> 00:00:19.808 There are many things that we can definitively say: 00:00:19.808 --> 00:00:24.373 "If you do this thing you will see some amount of improvement ." NOTE Paragraph 00:00:24.851 --> 00:00:27.720 The problem is that a lot of these proven strategies 00:00:27.720 --> 00:00:30.225 for improving mental health are difficult, 00:00:30.225 --> 00:00:32.669 uncomfortable or unpleasant to implement; 00:00:33.016 --> 00:00:37.540 and a trap I see people get sucked into all the time is they keep looking 00:00:37.540 --> 00:00:40.934 for new solutions, new answers, new ideas, 00:00:40.934 --> 00:00:43.735 not because they don't have any solutions 00:00:44.005 --> 00:00:46.821 but because they don't like the solutions they have. 00:00:46.922 --> 00:00:50.167 They don't want to implement the things that they already know 00:00:50.167 --> 00:00:54.886 and so they spend hours and hours reading books listening to podcasts 00:00:54.886 --> 00:01:00.320 watching YouTube videos to try to find an easier faster or more convenient way 00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:03.680 to make the changes they already know they should be making. 00:01:03.829 --> 00:01:07.366 The thing about this is it's at best this is procrastination 00:01:07.366 --> 00:01:09.075 at worst it's avoidance. 00:01:09.220 --> 00:01:14.203 Sometimes we need to stop acquiring new information, and focus 00:01:14.203 --> 00:01:17.052 on applying the information we already have. 00:01:17.052 --> 00:01:19.825 And rather than looking for that magic bullet, so to speak, 00:01:19.825 --> 00:01:24.609 work on creating a foundation combined with all of the things 00:01:24.609 --> 00:01:28.500 we already know are definitely going to help us if we could get them going. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:28.800 --> 00:01:32.595 When I hear somebody in therapy say: "I've tried everything", 00:01:33.140 --> 00:01:37.314 what they usually mean is: I've tried everything that I want to try". 00:01:37.684 --> 00:01:41.292 So that's why today instead of presenting a new concept, 00:01:41.292 --> 00:01:45.149 I'm going to review some things that you probably already know, 00:01:45.489 --> 00:01:51.118 but what I am hoping to do is maybe present them in a new or novel way 00:01:51.118 --> 00:01:55.411 that will make them feel more accessible, more attainable 00:01:55.805 --> 00:01:58.433 or more applicable than they previously did. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:59.240 --> 00:02:01.880 So, without further ado here are seven things 00:02:01.880 --> 00:02:04.569 that you probably already know you should be doing 00:02:04.836 --> 00:02:07.316 but might be struggling to implement into your life. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:07.480 --> 00:02:11.034 And the first is doing things that you are scared to do, 00:02:11.034 --> 00:02:14.095 in other words exposure therapy, facing your fears. 00:02:14.525 --> 00:02:19.548 Your comfort zone only grows when you are not in it. 00:02:19.879 --> 00:02:23.120 This is critical for you to understand. 00:02:23.120 --> 00:02:27.927 And engaging in activities that cause you anxiety or that cause you discomfort 00:02:27.927 --> 00:02:31.985 is a lot ... it's kind of like stretching your emotional range 00:02:31.985 --> 00:02:35.345 in the same way that something like yoga or calisthenics 00:02:35.480 --> 00:02:37.615 is like stretching your movement range. 00:02:38.160 --> 00:02:41.900 It doesn't necessarily feel great while you are doing it. 00:02:41.900 --> 00:02:45.291 In fact it can often be an unpleasant experience while you're doing it. 00:02:45.291 --> 00:02:49.808 But if you do it regularly, navigating the world 00:02:49.808 --> 00:02:52.691 becomes more enjoyable and less painful. 00:02:52.819 --> 00:02:54.512 And you're less likely to get hurt: 00:02:54.560 --> 00:02:57.952 if you stretch regularly, you are less likely to hurt your body 00:02:57.952 --> 00:02:59.800 when you're out and about moving around 00:02:59.800 --> 00:03:03.470 and there's fewer situations that you're unable to physically navigate, right? 00:03:03.548 --> 00:03:06.317 When you practice regular exposure therapy 00:03:06.317 --> 00:03:09.375 and work on in a sort of a planned strategic manner 00:03:09.375 --> 00:03:13.647 facing, and hopefully eventually conquering the things you are afraid of, 00:03:13.647 --> 00:03:16.545 the world starts to open up to you. 00:03:16.545 --> 00:03:21.344 It becomes more accessible and less scary because there are fewer situations 00:03:21.344 --> 00:03:26.035 you can imagine that you would find yourself in that overwhelm your anxiety. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:26.233 --> 00:03:30.505 This is a huge part of why I used to be so isolated when I was younger, 00:03:30.505 --> 00:03:33.751 it's because I was terrified of doing literally everything 00:03:33.751 --> 00:03:36.848 other than playing video games in my room, to be honest with you. 00:03:37.183 --> 00:03:41.536 And so I avoided people I avoided opportunity, I avoided school, 00:03:41.536 --> 00:03:45.723 I avoided work because I felt like I had so few skills 00:03:45.723 --> 00:03:48.769 and so little coping ability that it was only a matter of time 00:03:48.769 --> 00:03:51.983 before I'd encounter a situation that would completely overwhelm me, 00:03:51.983 --> 00:03:54.670 so I didn't enter situations like literally I just didn't NOTE Paragraph 00:03:55.026 --> 00:03:59.509 The more confidence you have about your ability to navigate 00:03:59.509 --> 00:04:02.915 these stressful situations the less scary life becomes 00:04:02.915 --> 00:04:04.983 and the more opportunities you have. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:04.983 --> 00:04:08.163 The second thing that you probably already know you should be doing 00:04:08.163 --> 00:04:12.500 but might be struggling to do is taking good care of your living space. 00:04:12.500 --> 00:04:16.051 Unless you are an absurdly wealthy person, you are going to spend 00:04:16.051 --> 00:04:19.091 the vast majority of your life in two environments: 00:04:19.091 --> 00:04:21.581 the place that you work and the place that you live. 00:04:21.581 --> 00:04:24.196 Now the place you live: you might own your entire home, 00:04:24.196 --> 00:04:27.110 you might rent, you might have a room, you might have a condo. 00:04:27.110 --> 00:04:29.970 Whatever you have you have an environment that you call home. 00:04:29.970 --> 00:04:32.587 And so these two environments, your work and your home, 00:04:32.587 --> 00:04:36.333 they have a tremendous impact on your mental health 00:04:36.560 --> 00:04:40.100 if for no reason, no other reason, I should say, than volume. 00:04:40.100 --> 00:04:42.556 They're where you spend the majority of your time 00:04:42.556 --> 00:04:45.765 and so the way they look, the way they feel, the way they function, 00:04:45.765 --> 00:04:49.058 is critical to your emotional well-being. 00:04:49.058 --> 00:04:52.967 We know that the environments that you spend your time in 00:04:52.967 --> 00:04:55.840 have a huge impact on your mental health. 00:04:56.199 --> 00:04:59.154 And basically, what it comes down to for me, my phrasing is, 00:04:59.154 --> 00:05:02.317 if you're your home doesn't feel comfortable to you, 00:05:02.539 --> 00:05:06.680 you basically never feel like your home, it's like you don't have a home, 00:05:06.996 --> 00:05:09.394 you don't have a space: you have a home 00:05:09.681 --> 00:05:14.340 but what you don't have is a space in this world that feels right to you: 00:05:14.549 --> 00:05:17.067 that's what you're missing and we all need that 00:05:17.067 --> 00:05:19.033 and I believe we all deserve that. 00:05:19.033 --> 00:05:22.115 But you will not have one unless you make one 00:05:22.115 --> 00:05:24.965 you're the one that has to create and maintain it; 00:05:24.965 --> 00:05:27.975 and I don't always like that either but I don't make the rules, 00:05:27.975 --> 00:05:30.442 I just report on them and this is the way we work NOTE Paragraph 00:05:30.442 --> 00:05:35.133 Taking good care of your environment can be a very time-consuming task 00:05:35.133 --> 00:05:37.941 especially if you've neglected it for a long time 00:05:37.993 --> 00:05:40.894 but remember that you don't have to do it all at once, right? 00:05:40.894 --> 00:05:44.958 Start small do a little bit each day and before you know it 00:05:45.308 --> 00:05:47.322 maybe your heart will have a home again 00:05:47.482 --> 00:05:51.738 and that's something that can be invaluable for our mental health journey. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:51.948 --> 00:05:54.871 The third thing you probably already know you should be doing 00:05:54.871 --> 00:05:56.320 but might be struggling to do 00:05:56.320 --> 00:05:59.387 is to actually Implement sleep hygiene techniques. 00:05:59.639 --> 00:06:01.662 There are two types of insomnia: 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:04.955 there's clinical insomnia and there's behavioral insomnia. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:05.681 --> 00:06:07.847 Clinical insomnia is when, for the most part, 00:06:07.847 --> 00:06:09.350 you are doing things right: 00:06:09.440 --> 00:06:13.068 your day is structured in a way that should allow you to fall asleep 00:06:13.068 --> 00:06:16.155 and stay asleep reasonably well but you are unable to do so 00:06:16.155 --> 00:06:17.870 and it takes hours to fall asleep. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:17.870 --> 00:06:21.752 Behavioral insomnia is when you have a double shot at 300 p.m., 00:06:22.027 --> 00:06:25.647 you get into bed at 11:00 p.m., you scroll on your phone till midnight, 00:06:25.647 --> 00:06:27.918 then you toss and turn until 3 in the morning. 00:06:28.150 --> 00:06:31.840 In other words, you have insomnia but it's because of choices you're making, 00:06:31.840 --> 00:06:34.848 it's not because your brain doesn't know how to go to sleep, 00:06:34.848 --> 00:06:37.051 it's because you're not letting it go to sleep 00:06:37.051 --> 00:06:40.440 and you've set up your life in a way that simply does not support sleep. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:40.440 --> 00:06:42.168 Most people who struggle with sleep 00:06:42.168 --> 00:06:45.749 have behavioral insomnia, not clinical insomnia 00:06:45.990 --> 00:06:50.035 Clinical insomnia is actually relatively rare and it's usually a matter 00:06:50.035 --> 00:06:53.191 of lifestyle and habits that are primarily facilitating 00:06:53.191 --> 00:06:55.682 the experience of insomnia. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:55.682 --> 00:06:57.319 So my question to you would be: 00:06:57.633 --> 00:07:00.541 "Are you actually practicing sleep hygiene 00:07:00.541 --> 00:07:03.614 and suffering clinical insomnia as a result 00:07:03.614 --> 00:07:06.499 or are you self-sabotaging and then complaining about it?" 00:07:06.788 --> 00:07:09.352 Because -- not to put too fine a point on it -- 00:07:09.352 --> 00:07:12.421 but that's basically what behavioral insomnia is: 00:07:12.421 --> 00:07:16.754 you are -- unintentionally I know, I'm oversimplifying things a little bit -- 00:07:17.081 --> 00:07:20.418 you're making it as difficult as possible for your brain to fall asleep 00:07:20.418 --> 00:07:23.190 and then being, like: "Brain, why didn't you fall asleep?" 00:07:23.190 --> 00:07:26.460 I mean you're you're kind of gaslighting your sleep cycle in a sense. 00:07:26.460 --> 00:07:29.880 It's a weird way to think of it. I know, but that's kind of what you're doing. 00:07:29.880 --> 00:07:34.185 If you struggle with insomnia, take a real honest inventory 00:07:34.185 --> 00:07:36.921 of your nighttime routine and ask yourself: 00:07:36.921 --> 00:07:41.387 "Do I think it's reasonable that I should be able to fall asleep pretty quickly 00:07:41.387 --> 00:07:44.159 or am I basically taking everything I know about sleep, 00:07:44.159 --> 00:07:45.429 throwing it out the window 00:07:45.429 --> 00:07:47.019 and thinking that's still going to work?" 00:07:47.019 --> 00:07:48.242 Because it won't. 00:07:48.242 --> 00:07:50.874 You're -- you have a brain and you have a nervous system 00:07:50.874 --> 00:07:55.833 and we know a lot about how these factors affect our ability to fall asleep 00:07:55.833 --> 00:07:57.120 and stay asleep. 00:07:57.120 --> 00:07:59.870 And so sleep is not really a mystery, 00:07:59.870 --> 00:08:02.215 it's just that most people aren't doing it right 00:08:02.215 --> 00:08:04.579 and that's really what I want you to consider 00:08:04.579 --> 00:08:06.340 if you're struggling with insomnia: 00:08:06.340 --> 00:08:09.770 "Am I am I doing it right or am I just gaslighting my own sleep cycle?" NOTE Paragraph 00:08:09.770 --> 00:08:12.780 The 4th thing that you probably already know you should be doing 00:08:12.780 --> 00:08:14.337 but might be having trouble with 00:08:14.337 --> 00:08:17.561 is minimizing or eliminating drug and alcohol use 00:08:17.711 --> 00:08:21.602 Now this one's a little bit different, I know, because this one is harder 00:08:21.602 --> 00:08:24.673 for a person to control directly than some of the other topics 00:08:24.673 --> 00:08:28.036 we're going to discuss here and believe me, I am understanding of that. 00:08:28.268 --> 00:08:32.140 Most people who use drugs and alcohol use them because they want to feel 00:08:32.140 --> 00:08:35.100 anything other than what it is like to be themselves 00:08:35.510 --> 00:08:39.199 and it seems like nothing could possibly worse than just waking up today 00:08:39.199 --> 00:08:42.708 and feeling like me -- and frankly I know what that feeling is like. 00:08:43.143 --> 00:08:46.533 Substances put you on a physical and mental roller coaster, though, 00:08:46.717 --> 00:08:49.800 where instead of changing what it feels like to be you, 00:08:49.800 --> 00:08:53.252 which is ultimately the reality that you are struggling with 00:08:53.252 --> 00:08:57.357 you are temporarily escaping what it feels like to be you 00:08:57.357 --> 00:09:02.396 and when the escape wears up off you often feel even worse than before 00:09:02.396 --> 00:09:07.200 and therefore you feel an even stronger desire to escape from yourself, 00:09:07.200 --> 00:09:09.750 which manifests as increased substance use 00:09:09.750 --> 00:09:12.589 and creates a downward spiral that the longer it goes on 00:09:12.589 --> 00:09:16.300 becomes harder and harder to extricate yourself from. 00:09:16.434 --> 00:09:20.023 So if this is you, and I have a little bit of a different idea for you here, 00:09:20.023 --> 00:09:23.480 because everything else in this video has been about "here's what you can do". 00:09:23.480 --> 00:09:25.640 If you're struggling with drug and alcohol use 00:09:25.640 --> 00:09:28.379 and the pattern I just described kind of sounds like you, 00:09:28.379 --> 00:09:31.060 maybe it's time to admit that you cannot do this alone 00:09:31.060 --> 00:09:33.190 and that you need some help with this problem 00:09:33.190 --> 00:09:38.267 Substance misuse is probably the hardest mental health condition 00:09:38.267 --> 00:09:41.882 to treat without support, maybe tied with eating disorders 00:09:41.882 --> 00:09:43.913 because they're very similar neurologically 00:09:43.913 --> 00:09:47.349 and I think that's mainly because it's so easy to lie to yourself. 00:09:47.800 --> 00:09:50.485 And, you know, most people aren't deceiving themselves 00:09:50.485 --> 00:09:54.017 about their depression or their anxiety so, like, well, it's not that bad. 00:09:54.470 --> 00:09:56.533 Usually you face those things pretty head on 00:09:56.533 --> 00:09:58.600 you're like no this is awful and I need help 00:09:58.600 --> 00:10:01.934 but when it comes to things that produce a momentary sense of reward 00:10:01.934 --> 00:10:04.628 like eating disorders and substance misuse 00:10:05.225 --> 00:10:07.881 you tend to rationalize, you tend to explain, 00:10:07.881 --> 00:10:10.799 you tend to minimize, you tend to make excuses. 00:10:10.799 --> 00:10:15.756 And if you've had several unsuccessful attempts at changing those habits 00:10:15.756 --> 00:10:20.351 for yourself, maybe it's time to stop putting so much pressure on yourself, 00:10:20.351 --> 00:10:23.955 to accept some help and to accept some support in this domain. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:24.070 --> 00:10:27.664 There is no shame in that: this is typically not a solo endeavor 00:10:27.664 --> 00:10:30.290 and it might be time to think about asking for for help NOTE Paragraph 00:10:30.290 --> 00:10:31.917 The fifth thing that you probably already know you should be doing 00:10:31.917 --> 00:10:33.804 but might be having a hard time doing 00:10:33.804 --> 00:10:35.660 is being physically active every day. 00:10:35.660 --> 00:10:37.800 So I mean, this one is no mystery right? 00:10:37.800 --> 00:10:40.420 You probably had a million people tell you this already, 00:10:40.420 --> 00:10:42.061 including your doctor every time you see him 00:10:42.061 --> 00:10:44.680 and every other medical professional you interact with. 00:10:44.680 --> 00:10:47.300 You've probably heard it so many times that you're sick of hearing it 00:10:47.300 --> 00:10:49.988 and you have an innate automatic defensive response 00:10:49.988 --> 00:10:51.460 when someone says this to you. 00:10:51.460 --> 00:10:55.167 So sorry about that, because I probably just triggered it, but here's the thing: 00:10:55.320 --> 00:10:58.751 your brain needs blood your brain does not work very well 00:10:58.751 --> 00:11:02.611 if it does not have healthy accessible blood flow. 00:11:02.611 --> 00:11:05.230 It's literally one of the resources your brain runs on, 00:11:05.230 --> 00:11:09.773 it's like gasoline for your brain and most of us have very sedentary lifestyles 00:11:09.773 --> 00:11:12.839 which negatively impact our cardiovascular health. 00:11:12.839 --> 00:11:16.008 I mean, that's that's just the way society is, it's not your fault. 00:11:16.008 --> 00:11:19.160 That's the way society has gone: most jobs don't use our bodies. 00:11:19.160 --> 00:11:21.542 If you have a very physically active job 00:11:21.542 --> 00:11:23.266 you probably don't need to worry about this because 00:11:23.266 --> 00:11:26.369 you are physically active every day, it doesn't have to be extra, 00:11:26.369 --> 00:11:28.364 it doesn't have to be prescribed exercise 00:11:28.364 --> 00:11:32.394 if you get this in from your job or from your kids or whatever: fine. 00:11:32.394 --> 00:11:34.519 But if you're like me 00:11:34.519 --> 00:11:37.881 and you literally just sit on your butt for nine hours a day at work, NOTE Paragraph 00:11:37.881 --> 00:11:42.742 you need to add this if your predefined life doesn't have enough of it. 00:11:42.742 --> 00:11:48.700 I'm not a fan of how society has made us so sedentary but it is what it is. 00:11:48.700 --> 00:11:51.921 Since your brain needs blood to work right. 00:11:51.921 --> 00:11:55.060 Cardiovascular health is brain health. 00:11:55.060 --> 00:11:58.795 if you constantly feel foggy, forgetful, distracted or moody, 00:11:58.979 --> 00:12:01.981 it might be because your brain doesn't have enough blood flow 00:12:01.981 --> 00:12:05.020 it might be because your brain doesn't have one of the resources 00:12:05.020 --> 00:12:07.757 that it needs to keep your prefrontal cortex powered on. 00:12:07.757 --> 00:12:10.556 Because all the things that I just said live there 00:12:11.007 --> 00:12:14.251 and when your brain is lacking in any essential resource 00:12:14.251 --> 00:12:16.543 -- blood, oxygen, rest or caloric energy -- 00:12:16.543 --> 00:12:20.366 it enters a low power mode, much like what's on your phone 00:12:20.366 --> 00:12:22.590 or your tablet or your laptop, 00:12:22.590 --> 00:12:25.502 and certain processes don't work as well as they normally do. 00:12:25.502 --> 00:12:28.685 The first part of the brain that takes the hit 00:12:28.685 --> 00:12:31.270 when we're low on resources is the prefrontal cortex: 00:12:31.270 --> 00:12:34.159 it's executive functioning, it's emotion regulation 00:12:34.159 --> 00:12:35.750 it's social engagement. 00:12:35.750 --> 00:12:37.980 So, if those are things you're struggling with, 00:12:37.980 --> 00:12:40.050 it's probably because your brain doesn't have 00:12:40.050 --> 00:12:42.446 all the resources it needs to do its job properly. 00:12:42.446 --> 00:12:45.563 The one thing I always try to emphasize with physical activity too 00:12:45.563 --> 00:12:48.900 is the way you do it really doesn't matter: 00:12:49.130 --> 00:12:51.429 if you want to lift weights, lift weights; 00:12:51.429 --> 00:12:52.594 if you want to run, run; 00:12:52.594 --> 00:12:54.505 if you want to do team sports, do team sports; 00:12:54.505 --> 00:12:57.494 if you hate some certain type of exercise, don't do it. 00:12:57.494 --> 00:13:01.735 it's not it's not hugely critical how you do it 00:13:01.735 --> 00:13:03.736 it's just critical that you do it. 00:13:03.926 --> 00:13:07.682 So find something that you either like, ideally. 00:13:07.682 --> 00:13:09.930 If there's nothing, like literally nothing, 00:13:09.930 --> 00:13:11.653 find the thing you hate the least. 00:13:11.653 --> 00:13:14.399 It can be some weird obscure thing: 00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:16.720 maybe you want to get into hobby horsing, 00:13:16.720 --> 00:13:19.533 and if you don't know what that is, you should look it up on social media. 00:13:19.533 --> 00:13:22.510 It's a fascinating world if you do know what it is. 00:13:22.510 --> 00:13:25.546 I appreciate the people who understand my obscure references 00:13:25.546 --> 00:13:27.060 because there are many of them. 00:13:27.190 --> 00:13:30.300 Just do something to get that blood going to your brain. 00:13:30.300 --> 00:13:34.767 You might be amazed how much it helps, you really might be amazed. NOTE Paragraph 00:13:35.509 --> 00:13:39.989 The sixth and final thing that you probably -- asterisk to this one -- 00:13:39.989 --> 00:13:43.473 probably know you should be doing but are probably having trouble doing 00:13:43.473 --> 00:13:47.380 is to stop beating yourself up about how long it is taking 00:13:47.380 --> 00:13:49.107 to get your life in order. 00:13:49.107 --> 00:13:51.933 Now I realize that you might have been doing that 00:13:51.933 --> 00:13:55.691 throughout this video already because as I'm saying things 00:13:55.691 --> 00:13:58.199 that you probably already knew you should be doing, 00:13:58.199 --> 00:14:01.353 you might have been beating yourself up, guilt tripping yourself, shaming yourself, 00:14:01.353 --> 00:14:04.440 and if you were, knock it off right now. 00:14:04.440 --> 00:14:06.880 Sorry I had to say it that way, 00:14:06.880 --> 00:14:09.804 but seriously you're not doing yourself any favors. 00:14:09.804 --> 00:14:13.710 We all have enough pressure on us already, probably more than enough pressure 00:14:13.710 --> 00:14:15.769 probably a maladaptive amount of pressure, 00:14:15.769 --> 00:14:17.109 and change is hard. 00:14:17.109 --> 00:14:20.543 Our brains actively resist it because they're wired for homeostasis 00:14:20.543 --> 00:14:24.922 We associate familiarity with safety and with security 00:14:24.922 --> 00:14:27.142 and on a very basic survival level, 00:14:27.142 --> 00:14:29.500 we fight back against our own attempts to change. 00:14:29.800 --> 00:14:33.740 Putting too much pressure on yourself tends to keep you stuck 00:14:33.740 --> 00:14:38.060 So try patience and gentleness instead and see what happens. 00:14:38.279 --> 00:14:43.150 It is amazing what people can do when they finally feel understood 00:14:43.150 --> 00:14:45.686 and are treated with respect and compassion. 00:14:45.686 --> 00:14:49.441 And it is very possible that the person most standing in your way 00:14:49.441 --> 00:14:51.373 of feeling those things and experiencing those things 00:14:51.373 --> 00:14:52.413 is you.