Mata Khivi Ji | Mothers of the Panth | By Bibi Gurprit Kaur

Sangat ji, when I think about a woman
who has become a change,

or has brought change to womanhood
in the Sikh Panth

I think about Mata Khivi Ji.

Mata Khivi Ji is the Mehl of
Guru Angad Dev Ji Maharaj

Mehl here means wife.

In her life Sangat ji Mata Khivi Ji has shown
so much of strength.

When I say strength I don't just mean
physical strength, but mental strength.

Her ability to go against the stigma
set by society.

And what was that which we face even now?

That is 'what will people say?'

It's true Sangat ji, it was then back in her time
and it is also happening now in out time as well.

We are so concerned about what people would say.

We are so concerned about making people happy,

about doing what people, all society, thinks is acceptable.

But Mata Khivi Ji was not like that.

For her, it was not important to make people happy.

It was not important to make or do what people
want her to do - what was accepted

in the eyes of society.

But it was important to her to do what was good,
what made Guru Sahib happy.

What was accepted in the eyes of the Guru.

When Guru Angad Ji Maharaj, then their name was
Bhai Lehna Ji

told their wife that they wanted to go to
Kartarpur Sahib to stay with Guru Nanak Dev Ji,

to serve them, to learn from them on how one
can do Bhagti while being a Grihst,

Mata Khivi Ji never said no.

Normally, now at this point of time if a husband or a
wife, or any family member decides to

perhaps leave the household and go to search
for his life purpose,

many parents or many family members would say no,
why are you leaving? Who is going to earn money?

How are you going to survive?

But, at that time Sangat ji, Mata Khivi Ji said
do as you wish, do what makes you happy.

If this makes you happy to go and serve the Guru
and to learn the ways of doing Bhagti

whilst being a Grihst, do so.

But, oh dear husband, this is my Benti
that when you come back

I would like you to teach me the ways as well.

Teach me on how I too can do Bhagti
as a wife

and how both of us, as husband
and wife could do Bhagti together in this house.

See how positive the reponse of
Mata Khivi Ji was.

Another quality of hers was acceptance.

She accepted Hukam, which we call Bhana Manna/Hukam Manna

Gurbani Says,

To be able to obtain or get - Khasam here means Maharaj, Guru Sahib, Parmatma -

When you Mann, when you accept the Hukam, then you are accepted as well.

You are accepted in the palace of Parmatma,
you are accepted in the house of the Guru.

Just like I mentioned earlier, Khasmai Bhaavai -
what is accepted in the eyes of Parmatma,

So Kare - do so. Do that which is accepted in the
house of the Guru.

Then one, a soul bride, who does that, then all her
wishes are fulfilled.

And that is what Mata Khivi Ji practised in her life.

Now Sangat Ji, Guru Angad Dev Ji, Bha Lehna Ji has left to Kartarpur,

who is going to take care of the house?

Who is going to feed the 4 children?

Who is going to make sure that
there is food on the table?

All that responsibility went on the
shoulders of Mata Khivi Ji.

Not even once Mata Khivi Ji said
oh no or what has happened? Why has this happened?

Not even once.

Her whole life she learned to accept the
Bhana, that whatever is happening is

happening in the Hukam of Parmatma.

But Sangat Ji, remember I mentioned about society?

The place that she was staying in and the village,

there was some woman who, I would say,
tried to give fake sympathy,

who would come and say 'what's happened here?',

your husband has left you, all the responsibilities
are on your shoulders.

Even now people do so as well - fake sympathy.

And Mata Khivi Ji would not pay any heed to
what this woman would say,

because she knows that they are trying
to break her spirit.

She would just smile and

She would do that.

Which Sangat Ji, is something that we should practise
as well.

We can't stop people from talking, but one thing
we can do is whatever is being put in one ear

just take it out from the other.

So that we do not dwell upon it,

because then we start thinking about it,
we start stressing about it.

Mata Khivi Ji's condition was

That even if Parmatma gives me Sukh,
I will still remember Parmatma.

Even in Dukh and times like this where I have
to take care of my whole family,

I am alone with my children and all this society,

the people are tying to provoke me,

but even in Dukh I will still do Your Simran,
I will still remember You.

Guru Angad Dev Ji Maharaj, they say about woman
in their Bani, they say

Whenever there is Sukh there is happiness, joy, there is peace, enjoy your husband,

but even in Dukh always remember your husband Lord,
always remember Parmatma.

O' wise woman, this is the way you can be
one with Vaheguru,

The way you can unite with Parmatma.

So Mata Khivi Ji kept on taking care of the family

and time to time Bhai Lehna Ji would come back

and they would share what Guru Nanak Dev Ji had taught them

and they would share those teachings with Mata Khivi Ji

and Mata Khivi Ji would practise Simran, Seva,
Hukam Mann'na and all of the things

Bhai Lehna Ji would come and tell her about
Guru Nanak Dev Ji.

Both of them had so much love for Guru Nanak Dev Ji.

The time came Sangat Ji when Bhai Lehna Ji has been
give the Guru Gaddi.

They have become Guru Angad Dev Ji

and Guru Nanak Dev Ji tells them to move to
Khadoor Sahib

to shift there and to start a Dharamsala there.

And now Guru Angad Dev Ji comes to Khadoor Sahib

Now imagine Sangat Ji, where it used to only be you,
your husband and your 4 children,

now your house has been transformed into
a Dharamsala where Sangat come daily

to have Darshan of Guru Angad Dev Ji

and you can't leave this Sangat on their own.

You can't make this Sangat go back empty-handed,
empty stomach. You have to feed them.

Mata Khivi Ji took the responsibility of cooking Langar
for these Sangat.

And Sangat Ji, what was the quantity at that time?

10, 20, 30 and on some days even up to 100s.

Maybe a group of Sadhus would come.

And she was always on her toes. She accepted the Hukam that now my husband has become the Guru,

the second Guru of the Sikhs.

Her daily routine changed. Now she serves her husband, she takes care of the children,

but she also takes care of the Sangat.

She feeds the Sangat, she starts cooking langar for
the Sangat.

At that time Sangat Ji again the society, at that point the time of Guru Nanak Dev Ji

the time of Guru Angad Dev Ji, the woman they used to cover their faces.

They used to cover their faces with their Dupatta, whenever they go out,

or even in their house.

But Mata Khivi Ji, now that her house has become a Dharamsala, she has to use both her hands to work

and she has to be on her toes at all times,
whenever Sangat comes, she has to serve them.

So there is no time to cover her face.

It was all about practicality. She took off the scarf and now she is doing seva alongside men.

And cooking Langar.

She takes these men as her brothers, as her sons
and she's working together hand in hand to cook Langar

in bulk amount for Sangat.

The women in the village, at first they started talking about it, 'What has Khivi Ji done here?'

Now she's removed her veil as well,
now she's working with men,

but Mata Khivi Ji again she did not pay any heed to what these people were saying,

because for her what was more important was doing
Seva of the Sangat,

just as Guru Nanak Dev Ji has told.

And making sure that these Sangat were comfortable
and that Guru Angad Dev Ji could focus on the Sangat,

whilst she could focus on the food, on the Langar part.

She served her husband in the morning,
because Guru Angad Dev Ji would not eat

form the Langar served for the Sangat.

Their food was very simple and Mata Khivi Ji
would serve her husband in the morning

and then go to to cook Langar for the whole day.

And in the afternoon when Guru Angad Dev Ji
would be teaching Gurmukhi to the children

Mata Khivi Ji would also do the same with
Baba Buddha Ji,

they would also teach Gurmukhi to the children.

This was the life of Mata Khivi Ji.

Slowly, slowly, because she kept on doing - this is where Sangat Ji actions speak louder than words

these women, they other people, the other ladies in the Village they started seeing that there is so much

Seva going on, there's so many Sangat coming to have Darshan of Guru Angad Dev Ji.

Mata Khivi Ji, with so much dedication, is doing Seva
for the Sangat.

Why don't we too join her?

This was the first legacy of Mata Khivi Ji.