Sangat ji, when I think about a woman who has become a change,
or has brought change to womanhood in the Sikh Panth
I think about Mata Khivi Ji.
Mata Khivi Ji is the Mehl of Guru Angad Dev Ji Maharaj
Mehl here means wife.
In her life Sangat ji Mata Khivi Ji has shown so much of strength.
When I say strength I don't just mean physical strength, but mental strength.
Her ability to go against the stigma set by society.
And what was that which we face even now?
That is 'what will people say?'
It's true Sangat ji, it was then back in her time and it is also happening now in out time as well.
We are so concerned about what people would say.
We are so concerned about making people happy,
about doing what people, all society, thinks is acceptable.
But Mata Khivi Ji was not like that.
For her, it was not important to make people happy.
It was not important to make or do what people want her to do - what was accepted
in the eyes of society.
But it was important to her to do what was good, what made Guru Sahib happy.
What was accepted in the eyes of the Guru.
When Guru Angad Ji Maharaj, then their name was Bhai Lehna Ji
told their wife that they wanted to go to Kartarpur Sahib to stay with Guru Nanak Dev Ji,
to serve them, to learn from them on how one can do Bhagti while being a Grihst,
Mata Khivi Ji never said no.
Normally, now at this point of time if a husband or a wife, or any family member decides to
perhaps leave the household and go to search for his life purpose,
many parents or many family members would say no, why are you leaving? Who is going to earn money?
How are you going to survive?
But, at that time Sangat ji, Mata Khivi Ji said do as you wish, do what makes you happy.
If this makes you happy to go and serve the Guru and to learn the ways of doing Bhagti
whilst being a Grihst, do so.
But, oh dear husband, this is my Benti that when you come back
I would like you to teach me the ways as well.
Teach me on how I too can do Bhagti as a wife
and how both of us, as husband and wife could do Bhagti together in this house.
See how positive the reponse of Mata Khivi Ji was.
Another quality of hers was acceptance.
She accepted Hukam, which we call Bhana Manna/Hukam Manna
Gurbani Says,
To be able to obtain or get - Khasam here means Maharaj, Guru Sahib, Parmatma -
When you Mann, when you accept the Hukam, then you are accepted as well.
You are accepted in the palace of Parmatma, you are accepted in the house of the Guru.
Just like I mentioned earlier, Khasmai Bhaavai - what is accepted in the eyes of Parmatma,
So Kare - do so. Do that which is accepted in the house of the Guru.
Then one, a soul bride, who does that, then all her wishes are fulfilled.
And that is what Mata Khivi Ji practised in her life.
Now Sangat Ji, Guru Angad Dev Ji, Bha Lehna Ji has left to Kartarpur,
who is going to take care of the house?
Who is going to feed the 4 children?
Who is going to make sure that there is food on the table?
All that responsibility went on the shoulders of Mata Khivi Ji.
Not even once Mata Khivi Ji said oh no or what has happened? Why has this happened?
Not even once.
Her whole life she learned to accept the Bhana, that whatever is happening is
happening in the Hukam of Parmatma.
But Sangat Ji, remember I mentioned about society?
The place that she was staying in and the village,
there was some woman who, I would say, tried to give fake sympathy,
who would come and say 'what's happened here?',
your husband has left you, all the responsibilities are on your shoulders.
Even now people do so as well - fake sympathy.
And Mata Khivi Ji would not pay any heed to what this woman would say,
because she knows that they are trying to break her spirit.
She would just smile and
She would do that.
Which Sangat Ji, is something that we should practise as well.
We can't stop people from talking, but one thing we can do is whatever is being put in one ear
just take it out from the other.
So that we do not dwell upon it,
because then we start thinking about it, we start stressing about it.
Mata Khivi Ji's condition was
That even if Parmatma gives me Sukh, I will still remember Parmatma.
Even in Dukh and times like this where I have to take care of my whole family,
I am alone with my children and all this society,
the people are tying to provoke me,
but even in Dukh I will still do Your Simran, I will still remember You.
Guru Angad Dev Ji Maharaj, they say about woman in their Bani, they say
Whenever there is Sukh there is happiness, joy, there is peace, enjoy your husband,
but even in Dukh always remember your husband Lord, always remember Parmatma.
O' wise woman, this is the way you can be one with Vaheguru,
The way you can unite with Parmatma.
So Mata Khivi Ji kept on taking care of the family
and time to time Bhai Lehna Ji would come back
and they would share what Guru Nanak Dev Ji had taught them
and they would share those teachings with Mata Khivi Ji
and Mata Khivi Ji would practise Simran, Seva, Hukam Mann'na and all of the things
Bhai Lehna Ji would come and tell her about Guru Nanak Dev Ji.
Both of them had so much love for Guru Nanak Dev Ji.
The time came Sangat Ji when Bhai Lehna Ji has been give the Guru Gaddi.
They have become Guru Angad Dev Ji
and Guru Nanak Dev Ji tells them to move to Khadoor Sahib
to shift there and to start a Dharamsala there.
And now Guru Angad Dev Ji comes to Khadoor Sahib
Now imagine Sangat Ji, where it used to only be you, your husband and your 4 children,
now your house has been transformed into a Dharamsala where Sangat come daily
to have Darshan of Guru Angad Dev Ji
and you can't leave this Sangat on their own.
You can't make this Sangat go back empty-handed, empty stomach. You have to feed them.
Mata Khivi Ji took the responsibility of cooking Langar for these Sangat.
And Sangat Ji, what was the quantity at that time?
10, 20, 30 and on some days even up to 100s.
Maybe a group of Sadhus would come.
And she was always on her toes. She accepted the Hukam that now my husband has become the Guru,
the second Guru of the Sikhs.
Her daily routine changed. Now she serves her husband, she takes care of the children,
but she also takes care of the Sangat.
She feeds the Sangat, she starts cooking langar for the Sangat.
At that time Sangat Ji again the society, at that point the time of Guru Nanak Dev Ji
the time of Guru Angad Dev Ji, the woman they used to cover their faces.
They used to cover their faces with their Dupatta, whenever they go out,
or even in their house.
But Mata Khivi Ji, now that her house has become a Dharamsala, she has to use both her hands to work
and she has to be on her toes at all times, whenever Sangat comes, she has to serve them.
So there is no time to cover her face.
It was all about practicality. She took off the scarf and now she is doing seva alongside men.
And cooking Langar.
She takes these men as her brothers, as her sons and she's working together hand in hand to cook Langar
in bulk amount for Sangat.
The women in the village, at first they started talking about it, 'What has Khivi Ji done here?'
Now she's removed her veil as well, now she's working with men,
but Mata Khivi Ji again she did not pay any heed to what these people were saying,
because for her what was more important was doing Seva of the Sangat,
just as Guru Nanak Dev Ji has told.
And making sure that these Sangat were comfortable and that Guru Angad Dev Ji could focus on the Sangat,
whilst she could focus on the food, on the Langar part.
She served her husband in the morning, because Guru Angad Dev Ji would not eat
form the Langar served for the Sangat.
Their food was very simple and Mata Khivi Ji would serve her husband in the morning
and then go to to cook Langar for the whole day.
And in the afternoon when Guru Angad Dev Ji would be teaching Gurmukhi to the children
Mata Khivi Ji would also do the same with Baba Buddha Ji,
they would also teach Gurmukhi to the children.
This was the life of Mata Khivi Ji.
Slowly, slowly, because she kept on doing - this is where Sangat Ji actions speak louder than words
these women, they other people, the other ladies in the Village they started seeing that there is so much
Seva going on, there's so many Sangat coming to have Darshan of Guru Angad Dev Ji.
Mata Khivi Ji, with so much dedication, is doing Seva for the Sangat.
Why don't we too join her?
This was the first legacy of Mata Khivi Ji.