Hatred - Teal Swan

Music by Lisa Thiel - Kuan Yin's Mantra

Ask Teal

Hatred

Hello there.

Hatred,

we see it everywhere in the world today.

It's the internal condition
that leads to things like,

prejudice and genocide and war.

Hatred is essentially the emotional state

of deep and intense dislike,

aversion,

or even hositility

towards someone or something.

It's perhaps the most extreme form

of vibrational resistance to something.

It is resistance to the degree

that one wishes to destroy
the thing that is perceived

to be causing the unhappiness within them.

But what is it exactly that causes hatred?

Hatred is caused by the perception of threat.

What is a threat?

A threat is you facing something

that is going to diminish

something that you hold dear.

A threat is something that's likely
to cause danger or damage.

In other words,

it's something that's likely to hurt you.

When a person feels as if they're
in the presence of a threat,

they feel fear, and that fear is
quickly converted to anger,

which is a state of defense.

You can think of anger and aversion

as a person's attempt to
keep their boundaries intact

so as to stay safe.

The person tries to push
that thing away from itself

or somehow eradicate the threat.

Hatred is the human ego
in a state of defense.

When we find ourself hating something,

the question we have to ask ourselves is:

"What threat does this thing pose to me?"

"How is it hurting me?"

"What am I afraid of?"

For example,

A woman may feel hatred
towards another woman

who is beautiful,

and upon further reflection,

she might find that
that woman is a threat

to her own sense of self-esteem,

her self-concept.

Or for example,

a man may start to feel hatred
towards another man

that's flirting with his girlfriend.

But upon deeper reflection,

he finds that it's because

that man poses a threat

to his sense of security and connection

within his relationship.

Or a group of people might feel hatred

towards another group of people.

Because pretend they have
different religious views.

Upon deeper reflection,

one of those religious groups might find

that the reason they hate the other,

is because of the belief
they hold about them.

They may think that this other group

is evil or wicked.

And so their beliefs about
this other person,

makes them think that that other group

is a threat to life on earth,

a threat to happiness.

The safer we feel, the less we hate.

The problem is that hatred

tends to snowball.

Essentially, this is how it goes:

We perceive a threat first.

Our reaction to that threat

is to push it away from us,

so we start to feel hatred.

And because we're focussed at that thing

with an attitude of hatred,

as if it's a threat,

what happens in a law of
attraction based universe?

We attract more proof
that they're a threat.

Which makes us more afraid,

which makes us hate them more,

which makes us manifest more
proof that they're dangerous,

which makes us hate them more.

And it just keeps going
and going until finally,

we have so much hate inside of us,

that we can do nothing

except for try to destroy
that other thing.

Some of us find ourselves more frequently

on the receiving end of hatred.

I'm one of those examples.

This is especially true

if we're one of those people

who grew up in a condition,

which led us to shame.

That means in our childhood,

the belief which we inherited

from the people who were raising us,

was that there's something
about us that's bad or wrong.

We are a perfect vibrational match

to people who think that
exact same thing about us.

We tend to take this hatred personally.

We make the hatred that
we receive from others

mean that there must be
something bad about us.

This pushes is into self-doubt,
self-hatred and self-distrust.

But we need to see that the hatred
does not exist because we're bad.

It doesn't even exist because
they're right about us.

Hatred exists because the other person

perceives us to be a threat
to something they treasure

and are therefore attached to.

So what we have to ask ourselves is:

"What threat do they perceive
me posing to them?"

For example, we may discover

that somebody feels as if we're
a threat to their physical safety,

or we're a threat to their wellbeing,

or we're a threat to their relationship,

or we're a threat to how they
want the world to look,

or we're a threat to the beliefs
which are keeping them safe,

or we're a threat to their
sense of self-esteem.

It's much easier to feel better
about someone or something

that's hating us,

if we can develop compassion.

Now I realise this can be a stretch.

Feeling compassion for
someone who hates you

and who is potentially actively trying
to destroy your life is quite difficult.

But remember that what you're after here

is not letting them of the hook,

for hating you or doing
the things they're doing.

What you're trying to look to do,
is to feel better yourself.

And obviously, when someone
starts hating you,

you start perceiving them as a threat.

So one of the best ways to
get out of that vicious cycle,

is to start focussing on the pain

that is in fact causing their hatred.

Where is that fear

and that scared little child, essentially,

who is completely convinced

that you're a threat to them?

In other words,

we don't feel the need to
defend ourselves as violently,

because it really isn't about us,

it's about the fact that something
about us makes them feel threatened.

Perhaps we can even help them feel

less threatened about whatever they
feel threatened about relative to us.

When it comes to hatred,

regardless of whether it's us hating them

or them hating us,

what we have to do is to address the fear

and the pain

that is underneath that hatred.

We have to access the vulnerability.

So when you encounter hate,

I want you to do three things.

1. You need to question the threat.

This means you gotta get present
to what threat this person poses,

or what threat they think you pose.

You gotta be really aware

of what that is first

and you have to question it.

Is this genuinely a threat?

Is that a threat they actually pose to me?

Is it a threat I actually pose to them?

We also have to explore and
loosen our negative attachment

to the thing we think
they pose a threat to.

Obviously if we start hating somebody,

or if they start hating us,

it's about the fact

that we feel like we have
to defend something

which we're attached to.

This is a perfect opportunity

for those of us who are
in the spiritual practice,

to question our level of attachment.

Obviously, I've identified
with this particular thing

so strongly,

that that in and of itself
is causing me pain.

2. Find non-reactive conscious strategies

to diminish the potential threat,

without causing the other person harm.

For example,

let's say that the other person
poses a threat to my self-esteem.

How could I go about
decreasing that threat

to my self-esteem without
causing them pain?

Step 3.

Increase your feeling
of safety and integrity.

Obviously you're defending something

that you think you're gonna lose
or that's going to be diminished

by the person who is hating you

or who you're hating.

So what I want you to do,

is to think any thought

that would cause you to feel
better about this situation,

about whatever it is
they pose a threat to.

Any form of positive focus
about the situation

we feel threatened by will
diminish the feeling of threat.

By doing these things, we will
experience a decrease in hatred.

At its root, hatred occurs

because we feel powerless

to the way we feel.

Why is it that we don't wanna lose

that thing we think they're a threat to?

Because we would feel bad if we did.

So at the core,

hatred is about the fact that we
feel powerless to feeling bad.

So, what can you do about it?

Prove to yourself that you're not
powerless to the way that you feel.

Any amount of focus on anything,

or any action you take

that makes you feel better or more secure

relative to the thing you
think you're gonna lose,

will cause you to feel better.

When we hate,

we feel bad and don't
think we can feel good

as long as the thing we think
caused us to feel bad,

(the threat)

still exists.

Taking our focus of those things
that cause us to feel bad

and placing our focus on things
that cause us to feel good,

allows us to see that
we do have the ability

to alter how we feel deliberately.

This empowerment helps us to see

that we aren't just at
the mercy of the world

and thus we feel less threatened by things

and thus we don't feel hate towards them.

For example,

let's say that you feel hatred
towards your boyfriend's ex.

When you ask yourself the question:

What threat does this pose to me?

You might come up with an answer like:

She really poses a threat

to the connection that
I feel with this person.

I feel like, if she's in the picture,

I'm gonna lose my connection with him.

First, you question the threat.

Is she really a threat to your
connection with your boyfriend?

If so, how?

You may wanna do Byron Katie's process

called 'The Work' on this idea.

Then you may want to explore

how the attachment you have to
your connection, to your boyfriend,

is painful and therefore negative.

Because what you really want
is a man who will choose you

and whom wants you enough

that you don't have to work hard
to earn closeness with him.

So it may even be better
to have his closeness

tested in this way,

so you can either see his true colours,

or develop real security

in his connection to you.

Then, one of the action
steps you could take,

is to have a vulnerable and open
and honest conversation

with your boyfriend

about the threat

that you feel this ex of his
poses to your relationship.

Then, if you wanna go further than that,

you can begin to positively focus.

How is your connection
secure with this boyfriend?

How can you be sure

that it's going to be maintained
regardless of whether she's there or not?

This world functions like a mirror,

which means that if we wish
to end hatred in the world,

we have to first end it within ourselves.

That means, we have to adress
the aspect of us that hates.

But I will give you a tip;

The aspect of you that hates is
not malevolent and it is not evil.

It is the aspect of you that
is a small crying child

that feels powerless
to the world around it,

powerless to the way it feels.

This child within you is the one
that needs the attention.

And when I say child,

I don't want you to then go into
the space where you're thinking

that a child is less evolved,

or that a child essentially

is not as spiritually enlightened

as an adult,

Because we love to do that.

We love to be like:

"Oh, it's the underdog

and it's sort of like lower
on the value scale

than my adult self".

That's not the way that
the inner child works.

But this is an aspect of you
that is deeply in pain.

And so it needs your conscious attention,

your conscious focus.

It needs you to know what it's scared of.

And it needs you to help it

to feel better about what it's scared of.

This small child is terrified

in a state of fear

and is reacting by trying to push
the thing that it's afraid of

away from itself.

We need to feel love and compassion

towards this aspect of us
that's feeling threatened.

And by doing this we create
more safety for ourselves

and this subdues the hatred.

Now before I continue,

I have to say that in the spiritual field,

hatred has become a bit like anger.

It's not okay to admit
that you feel that way.

In fact, you're SO not
spiritually enlightened

if you hate anything.

So, "just cram that deep down
inside and never admit to it."

~ Laughs ~

But here's the thing,

It's natural when we feel threatened,

to basically jump into a space of hate.

So it would be very rare

to meet somebody who is
genuinely free of all hatred.

And it's really, really damaging

for you to bury that aspect
of you deep down inside,

to stay unconscious of
it and not admit to it.

Suppressed hatred wreaks
havoc on your body

and it wreaks havoc on the world at large.

So, admit to what you hate

even if you're one of
those spiritual people

who is all about the love, light
and communion on this planet.

It's really important for you
to actually become conscious

of the hatred that you have,

so that can find some resolution to it,

instead of just trying to convince
yourself it doesn't exist.

On the other hand,

when we're not in the practice
of suppressing our hatred,

but we're also not conscious
enough to work with it directly,

we mistake the fight or flight
peak in energy we feel

and hatred for power.

Hatred is the opposite of power.

It only occurs when we feel
powerless to a threat.

When we become reactive.

Instead of addressing the internal
world and it's state of fear,

we try to eradicate the threat itself.

We rage war against it in
order to try to get rid of it.

This does not work in a universe
based on the law of attraction,

where whatever you resist persists.

This is exactly why people
in the media say

that bad press is good press.

Hating someone feels bad.

It doesn't just feel bad to the person

who is on the receiving end of our hate,

it feels bad to us.

We have a tendency of thinking

when we feel hatred,

that whatever we are
perceiving to be a threat,

is what is causing that feeling within us.

But in fact it's just our reaction

to something we perceive to be a threat.

That means that hatred is not
really anybody else's problem.

It's our problem.

And it deserves our conscious attention.

Even if they have done
things to justify the hatred,

the one power that we do have,

is to deal with our reaction to them

and what they did.

This is good news because it means

we are not powerless to our hatred.

Hatred is a cover emotion

for feeling pain,

hurt and fear.

So address that pain,

that hurt and that fear

and then conscioussly focus

on anything that causes you to feel safer,

to feel joy,

to feel that state of integrity.

And watch your hatred disappear.

Have a good week.

Subtitles by: David Soh, Katja Vleermens
& Tanya Duarte ( www.tanyaduarte.com )