[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.29,0:00:06.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Music by Lisa Thiel - Kuan Yin's Mantra
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.31,0:00:17.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ask Teal
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.55,0:00:31.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hatred
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.06,0:00:34.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hello there.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.45,0:00:35.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hatred,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.59,0:00:38.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we see it everywhere in the world today.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.14,0:00:40.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the internal condition \Nthat leads to things like,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.74,0:00:43.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,prejudice and genocide and war.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.95,0:00:47.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hatred is essentially the emotional state
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.67,0:00:51.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of deep and intense dislike,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.45,0:00:52.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,aversion,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.78,0:00:54.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or even hositility
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.79,0:00:57.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,towards someone or something.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.03,0:00:58.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's perhaps the most extreme form
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.98,0:01:01.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of vibrational resistance to something.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.25,0:01:03.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is resistance to the degree
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.95,0:01:06.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that one wishes to destroy \Nthe thing that is perceived
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.57,0:01:08.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be causing the unhappiness within them.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.10,0:01:12.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what is it exactly that causes hatred?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.98,0:01:17.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hatred is caused by the perception of threat.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.14,0:01:19.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is a threat?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.92,0:01:22.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A threat is you facing something
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.64,0:01:24.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is going to diminish
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.59,0:01:26.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something that you hold dear.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.60,0:01:29.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A threat is something that's likely \Nto cause danger or damage.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.85,0:01:30.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In other words,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.76,0:01:32.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's something that's likely to hurt you.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.76,0:01:35.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When a person feels as if they're \Nin the presence of a threat,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.72,0:01:38.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they feel fear, and that fear is \Nquickly converted to anger,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.72,0:01:40.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is a state of defense.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.63,0:01:42.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can think of anger and aversion
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.51,0:01:45.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a person's attempt to \Nkeep their boundaries intact
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.04,0:01:46.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so as to stay safe.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.63,0:01:49.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The person tries to push \Nthat thing away from itself
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.47,0:01:51.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or somehow eradicate the threat.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.00,0:01:55.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hatred is the human ego \Nin a state of defense.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.53,0:01:58.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When we find ourself hating something,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.13,0:02:00.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the question we have to ask ourselves is:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.64,0:02:03.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What threat does this thing pose to me?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.46,0:02:05.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"How is it hurting me?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.45,0:02:07.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What am I afraid of?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.93,0:02:09.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.11,0:02:11.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A woman may feel hatred \Ntowards another woman
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.49,0:02:12.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who is beautiful,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.58,0:02:14.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and upon further reflection,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.17,0:02:16.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she might find that \Nthat woman is a threat
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.22,0:02:18.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to her own sense of self-esteem,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.15,0:02:19.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her self-concept.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.94,0:02:21.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or for example,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.15,0:02:23.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a man may start to feel hatred \Ntowards another man
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.73,0:02:25.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's flirting with his girlfriend.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.60,0:02:26.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But upon deeper reflection,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.90,0:02:28.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he finds that it's because
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.46,0:02:29.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that man poses a threat
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.91,0:02:31.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to his sense of security and connection
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.87,0:02:33.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,within his relationship.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.73,0:02:36.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or a group of people might feel hatred
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.33,0:02:38.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,towards another group of people.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.06,0:02:40.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because pretend they have \Ndifferent religious views.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.61,0:02:42.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Upon deeper reflection,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.26,0:02:44.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one of those religious groups might find
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.28,0:02:45.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the reason they hate the other,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.100,0:02:48.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is because of the belief \Nthey hold about them.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.65,0:02:50.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They may think that this other group
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.99,0:02:52.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is evil or wicked.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.85,0:02:55.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so their beliefs about \Nthis other person,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.10,0:02:58.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,makes them think that that other group
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.06,0:03:00.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is a threat to life on earth,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.46,0:03:02.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a threat to happiness.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.13,0:03:04.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The safer we feel, the less we hate.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.55,0:03:07.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The problem is that hatred
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.76,0:03:09.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tends to snowball.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.06,0:03:11.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Essentially, this is how it goes:
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.10,0:03:13.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We perceive a threat first.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.34,0:03:15.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our reaction to that threat
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.58,0:03:17.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to push it away from us,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.57,0:03:19.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so we start to feel hatred.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.43,0:03:21.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And because we're focussed at that thing
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.81,0:03:23.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with an attitude of hatred,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.42,0:03:24.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as if it's a threat,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.58,0:03:27.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what happens in a law of \Nattraction based universe?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.02,0:03:29.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We attract more proof \Nthat they're a threat.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.17,0:03:30.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which makes us more afraid,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.82,0:03:32.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which makes us hate them more,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.49,0:03:35.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which makes us manifest more \Nproof that they're dangerous,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.28,0:03:36.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which makes us hate them more.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.98,0:03:39.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it just keeps going \Nand going until finally,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.37,0:03:41.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have so much hate inside of us,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.03,0:03:42.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we can do nothing
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.50,0:03:44.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,except for try to destroy \Nthat other thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.78,0:03:47.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some of us find ourselves more frequently
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.02,0:03:49.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on the receiving end of hatred.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.20,0:03:50.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm one of those examples.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.91,0:03:52.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is especially true
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.41,0:03:53.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we're one of those people
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.91,0:03:55.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who grew up in a condition,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.45,0:03:56.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which led us to shame.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.98,0:03:58.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That means in our childhood,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.58,0:04:00.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the belief which we inherited
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.30,0:04:02.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the people who were raising us,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.02,0:04:04.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was that there's something \Nabout us that's bad or wrong.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.83,0:04:06.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are a perfect vibrational match
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.75,0:04:09.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to people who think that \Nexact same thing about us.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.79,0:04:12.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We tend to take this hatred personally.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.10,0:04:14.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We make the hatred that \Nwe receive from others
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.88,0:04:17.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mean that there must be \Nsomething bad about us.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.57,0:04:21.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This pushes is into self-doubt, \Nself-hatred and self-distrust.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.42,0:04:24.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But we need to see that the hatred \Ndoes not exist because we're bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.72,0:04:27.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It doesn't even exist because \Nthey're right about us.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.60,0:04:29.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hatred exists because the other person
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.61,0:04:32.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,perceives us to be a threat \Nto something they treasure
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.74,0:04:34.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and are therefore attached to.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.54,0:04:36.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what we have to ask ourselves is:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.63,0:04:40.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What threat do they perceive \Nme posing to them?"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.06,0:04:42.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example, we may discover
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.65,0:04:45.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that somebody feels as if we're \Na threat to their physical safety,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.87,0:04:47.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or we're a threat to their wellbeing,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.80,0:04:49.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or we're a threat to their relationship,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.73,0:04:52.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or we're a threat to how they \Nwant the world to look,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.43,0:04:55.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or we're a threat to the beliefs \Nwhich are keeping them safe,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.51,0:04:58.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or we're a threat to their \Nsense of self-esteem.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.53,0:05:01.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's much easier to feel better \Nabout someone or something
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.51,0:05:02.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's hating us,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.46,0:05:04.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we can develop compassion.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.40,0:05:06.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now I realise this can be a stretch.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.43,0:05:08.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Feeling compassion for \Nsomeone who hates you
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.56,0:05:12.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and who is potentially actively trying \Nto destroy your life is quite difficult.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.42,0:05:14.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But remember that what you're after here
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.35,0:05:15.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not letting them of the hook,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.92,0:05:18.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for hating you or doing \Nthe things they're doing.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.26,0:05:21.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What you're trying to look to do,\Nis to feel better yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.41,0:05:23.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And obviously, when someone \Nstarts hating you,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.78,0:05:25.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you start perceiving them as a threat.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.73,0:05:28.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So one of the best ways to \Nget out of that vicious cycle,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.82,0:05:31.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to start focussing on the pain
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.16,0:05:33.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is in fact causing their hatred.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.34,0:05:35.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where is that fear
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.15,0:05:37.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that scared little child, essentially,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.41,0:05:39.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who is completely convinced
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.51,0:05:41.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you're a threat to them?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.23,0:05:42.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In other words,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.15,0:05:44.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we don't feel the need to \Ndefend ourselves as violently,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.88,0:05:46.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it really isn't about us,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.46,0:05:49.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's about the fact that something \Nabout us makes them feel threatened.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.100,0:05:52.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Perhaps we can even help them feel
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.87,0:05:56.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,less threatened about whatever they \Nfeel threatened about relative to us.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.47,0:05:58.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When it comes to hatred,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.40,0:06:00.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,regardless of whether it's us hating them
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.43,0:06:02.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or them hating us,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.23,0:06:04.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what we have to do is to address the fear
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.82,0:06:05.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the pain
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.90,0:06:08.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is underneath that hatred.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.24,0:06:10.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have to access the vulnerability.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.56,0:06:12.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when you encounter hate,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.37,0:06:14.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to do three things.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.63,0:06:17.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,1. You need to question the threat.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.96,0:06:23.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This means you gotta get present \Nto what threat this person poses,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.40,0:06:25.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or what threat they think you pose.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.88,0:06:27.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You gotta be really aware
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.42,0:06:28.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of what that is first
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.76,0:06:30.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you have to question it.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.69,0:06:32.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is this genuinely a threat?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.94,0:06:35.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is that a threat they actually pose to me?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.22,0:06:37.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it a threat I actually pose to them?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:37.59,0:06:40.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We also have to explore and \Nloosen our negative attachment
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.50,0:06:43.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the thing we think \Nthey pose a threat to.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.46,0:06:45.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously if we start hating somebody,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.90,0:06:47.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or if they start hating us,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.45,0:06:48.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's about the fact
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.58,0:06:50.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we feel like we have \Nto defend something
Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.73,0:06:52.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which we're attached to.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.11,0:06:53.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is a perfect opportunity
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.71,0:06:56.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for those of us who are \Nin the spiritual practice,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.48,0:06:59.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to question our level of attachment.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.12,0:07:02.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously, I've identified \Nwith this particular thing
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.29,0:07:03.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so strongly,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.49,0:07:06.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that that in and of itself \Nis causing me pain.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.73,0:07:10.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,2. Find non-reactive conscious strategies
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.52,0:07:12.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to diminish the potential threat,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.17,0:07:14.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,without causing the other person harm.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:14.94,0:07:16.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.32,0:07:20.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let's say that the other person \Nposes a threat to my self-esteem.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.70,0:07:23.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How could I go about \Ndecreasing that threat
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.96,0:07:27.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to my self-esteem without \Ncausing them pain?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.11,0:07:28.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Step 3.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.33,0:07:32.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Increase your feeling \Nof safety and integrity.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.61,0:07:34.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously you're defending something
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.73,0:07:37.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you think you're gonna lose \Nor that's going to be diminished
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.76,0:07:39.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by the person who is hating you
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.64,0:07:40.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or who you're hating.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.100,0:07:42.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what I want you to do,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.35,0:07:43.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to think any thought
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.63,0:07:47.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that would cause you to feel \Nbetter about this situation,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.38,0:07:49.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about whatever it is \Nthey pose a threat to.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.84,0:07:52.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Any form of positive focus \Nabout the situation
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.56,0:07:55.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we feel threatened by will \Ndiminish the feeling of threat.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.62,0:07:58.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By doing these things, we will \Nexperience a decrease in hatred.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.89,0:08:00.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At its root, hatred occurs
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.99,0:08:02.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we feel powerless
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.67,0:08:04.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the way we feel.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.70,0:08:06.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why is it that we don't wanna lose
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.64,0:08:09.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that thing we think they're a threat to?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.07,0:08:11.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because we would feel bad if we did.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:11.54,0:08:12.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So at the core,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.79,0:08:16.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hatred is about the fact that we \Nfeel powerless to feeling bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.53,0:08:18.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, what can you do about it?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.10,0:08:22.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Prove to yourself that you're not \Npowerless to the way that you feel.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.06,0:08:25.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Any amount of focus on anything,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.60,0:08:27.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or any action you take
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.18,0:08:29.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that makes you feel better or more secure
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.65,0:08:32.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relative to the thing you \Nthink you're gonna lose,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.42,0:08:34.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will cause you to feel better.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.19,0:08:35.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When we hate,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.58,0:08:37.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we feel bad and don't \Nthink we can feel good
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.71,0:08:40.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as long as the thing we think \Ncaused us to feel bad,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.19,0:08:41.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(the threat)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.08,0:08:42.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,still exists.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.70,0:08:45.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Taking our focus of those things\Nthat cause us to feel bad
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.45,0:08:48.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and placing our focus on things \Nthat cause us to feel good,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.18,0:08:50.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,allows us to see that \Nwe do have the ability
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.32,0:08:52.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to alter how we feel deliberately.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.37,0:08:54.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This empowerment helps us to see
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.07,0:08:56.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we aren't just at \Nthe mercy of the world
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.23,0:08:58.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and thus we feel less threatened by things
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.23,0:09:00.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and thus we don't feel hate towards them.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.26,0:09:01.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.06,0:09:04.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let's say that you feel hatred \Ntowards your boyfriend's ex.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.23,0:09:06.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you ask yourself the question:
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.59,0:09:08.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What threat does this pose to me?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.96,0:09:11.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You might come up with an answer like:
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.03,0:09:12.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She really poses a threat \N
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.84,0:09:15.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the connection that \NI feel with this person.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.50,0:09:17.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel like, if she's in the picture,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:17.46,0:09:20.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm gonna lose my connection with him.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:20.02,0:09:22.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First, you question the threat.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.01,0:09:24.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is she really a threat to your \Nconnection with your boyfriend?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.97,0:09:26.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If so, how?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.90,0:09:29.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You may wanna do Byron Katie's process
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.12,0:09:31.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,called 'The Work' on this idea.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.32,0:09:33.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then you may want to explore
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.07,0:09:36.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how the attachment you have to \Nyour connection, to your boyfriend,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.34,0:09:38.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is painful and therefore negative.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.48,0:09:41.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because what you really want \Nis a man who will choose you
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.30,0:09:42.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and whom wants you enough
Dialogue: 0,0:09:42.76,0:09:45.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you don't have to work hard \Nto earn closeness with him.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.91,0:09:48.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it may even be better \Nto have his closeness
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.87,0:09:50.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tested in this way,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.12,0:09:52.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so you can either see his true colours,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.13,0:09:53.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or develop real security
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.48,0:09:55.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in his connection to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.20,0:09:57.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then, one of the action \Nsteps you could take,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.66,0:10:00.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to have a vulnerable and open \Nand honest conversation
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.50,0:10:01.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with your boyfriend
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.66,0:10:03.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about the threat
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.00,0:10:06.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you feel this ex of his \Nposes to your relationship.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.02,0:10:09.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then, if you wanna go further than that,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.13,0:10:11.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can begin to positively focus.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.62,0:10:15.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How is your connection \Nsecure with this boyfriend?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.19,0:10:17.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How can you be sure
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.03,0:10:20.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it's going to be maintained \Nregardless of whether she's there or not?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.65,0:10:22.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This world functions like a mirror,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.56,0:10:25.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which means that if we wish \Nto end hatred in the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.49,0:10:28.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have to first end it within ourselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:29.06,0:10:33.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That means, we have to adress \Nthe aspect of us that hates.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:34.58,0:10:36.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I will give you a tip;
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.42,0:10:40.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The aspect of you that hates is \Nnot malevolent and it is not evil.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.29,0:10:43.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is the aspect of you that \Nis a small crying child
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.34,0:10:45.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that feels powerless \Nto the world around it,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.60,0:10:47.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,powerless to the way it feels.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.37,0:10:52.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This child within you is the one \Nthat needs the attention.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.24,0:10:53.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when I say child,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:53.63,0:10:56.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't want you to then go into \Nthe space where you're thinking
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.69,0:10:59.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that a child is less evolved,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.03,0:11:01.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or that a child essentially
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.34,0:11:04.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not as spiritually enlightened
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.59,0:11:06.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as an adult,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:06.51,0:11:07.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because we love to do that.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.90,0:11:08.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We love to be like:
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.83,0:11:10.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, it's the underdog
Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.32,0:11:13.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's sort of like lower \Non the value scale
Dialogue: 0,0:11:13.47,0:11:14.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than my adult self".
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.81,0:11:17.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's not the way that \Nthe inner child works.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.69,0:11:20.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But this is an aspect of you \Nthat is deeply in pain.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.53,0:11:22.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so it needs your conscious attention,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.95,0:11:24.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your conscious focus.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.40,0:11:26.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It needs you to know what it's scared of.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.57,0:11:27.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it needs you to help it
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.94,0:11:30.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to feel better about what it's scared of.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.24,0:11:32.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This small child is terrified
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.91,0:11:33.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a state of fear
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.94,0:11:36.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and is reacting by trying to push \Nthe thing that it's afraid of
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.95,0:11:38.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,away from itself.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:38.76,0:11:40.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We need to feel love and compassion
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.91,0:11:43.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,towards this aspect of us \Nthat's feeling threatened.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.42,0:11:46.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And by doing this we create \Nmore safety for ourselves
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.18,0:11:48.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this subdues the hatred.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:48.86,0:11:50.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now before I continue,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.41,0:11:52.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have to say that in the spiritual field,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.67,0:11:55.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hatred has become a bit like anger.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:55.36,0:11:58.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not okay to admit \Nthat you feel that way.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.32,0:12:00.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, you're SO not \Nspiritually enlightened
Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.64,0:12:01.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you hate anything.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.96,0:12:05.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, "just cram that deep down \Ninside and never admit to it."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.17,0:12:07.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,~ Laughs ~
Dialogue: 0,0:12:07.43,0:12:09.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But here's the thing,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.67,0:12:12.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's natural when we feel threatened,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.27,0:12:14.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to basically jump into a space of hate.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.100,0:12:16.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it would be very rare
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.68,0:12:20.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to meet somebody who is \Ngenuinely free of all hatred.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.32,0:12:22.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's really, really damaging
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.53,0:12:25.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for you to bury that aspect \Nof you deep down inside,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.94,0:12:28.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to stay unconscious of \Nit and not admit to it.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.46,0:12:31.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Suppressed hatred wreaks \Nhavoc on your body
Dialogue: 0,0:12:31.76,0:12:34.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it wreaks havoc on the world at large.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.40,0:12:36.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, admit to what you hate
Dialogue: 0,0:12:36.04,0:12:38.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even if you're one of \Nthose spiritual people
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.16,0:12:42.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who is all about the love, light \Nand communion on this planet.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.32,0:12:45.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's really important for you \Nto actually become conscious
Dialogue: 0,0:12:45.25,0:12:46.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the hatred that you have,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:46.73,0:12:48.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that can find some resolution to it,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:48.96,0:12:52.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of just trying to convince \Nyourself it doesn't exist.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.05,0:12:53.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On the other hand,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.25,0:12:56.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when we're not in the practice \Nof suppressing our hatred,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:56.25,0:12:59.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but we're also not conscious \Nenough to work with it directly,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:59.38,0:13:02.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we mistake the fight or flight \Npeak in energy we feel
Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.09,0:13:03.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and hatred for power.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.12,0:13:06.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hatred is the opposite of power.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.72,0:13:09.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It only occurs when we feel \Npowerless to a threat.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:09.73,0:13:11.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When we become reactive.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:12.02,0:13:15.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead of addressing the internal \Nworld and it's state of fear,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.12,0:13:17.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we try to eradicate the threat itself.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:17.75,0:13:20.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We rage war against it in \Norder to try to get rid of it.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:20.97,0:13:24.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This does not work in a universe\Nbased on the law of attraction,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.16,0:13:26.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where whatever you resist persists.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:26.25,0:13:28.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is exactly why people \Nin the media say
Dialogue: 0,0:13:28.60,0:13:30.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that bad press is good press.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.17,0:13:33.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hating someone feels bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:34.16,0:13:36.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It doesn't just feel bad to the person
Dialogue: 0,0:13:36.25,0:13:38.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who is on the receiving end of our hate,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:38.33,0:13:40.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it feels bad to us.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:41.09,0:13:43.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have a tendency of thinking
Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.21,0:13:44.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when we feel hatred,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:44.52,0:13:47.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that whatever we are \Nperceiving to be a threat,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:47.30,0:13:50.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is what is causing that feeling within us.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:50.49,0:13:52.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But in fact it's just our reaction
Dialogue: 0,0:13:52.56,0:13:55.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to something we perceive to be a threat.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:55.95,0:13:59.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That means that hatred is not \Nreally anybody else's problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:59.51,0:14:00.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's our problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:00.100,0:14:03.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it deserves our conscious attention.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.36,0:14:07.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even if they have done \Nthings to justify the hatred,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:07.46,0:14:09.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the one power that we do have,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:09.91,0:14:12.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to deal with our reaction to them
Dialogue: 0,0:14:12.94,0:14:14.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what they did.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.86,0:14:16.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is good news because it means
Dialogue: 0,0:14:16.76,0:14:19.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we are not powerless to our hatred.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.87,0:14:22.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hatred is a cover emotion
Dialogue: 0,0:14:22.14,0:14:24.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for feeling pain,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:24.29,0:14:26.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hurt and fear.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:26.30,0:14:28.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So address that pain,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:28.05,0:14:29.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that hurt and that fear
Dialogue: 0,0:14:29.100,0:14:31.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then conscioussly focus
Dialogue: 0,0:14:31.85,0:14:34.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on anything that causes you to feel safer,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:34.82,0:14:36.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to feel joy,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:36.46,0:14:39.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to feel that state of integrity.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:39.73,0:14:43.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And watch your hatred disappear.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:43.87,0:14:45.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have a good week.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:18.27,0:15:23.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Subtitles by: David Soh, Katja Vleermens\N& Tanya Duarte ( www.tanyaduarte.com )