Kubo and the Two Strings and the Many Problems #kubomovie #VEDA 16.08.19 | #withcaptions @paulidin

"if you must blink, do it now," is probably
one of the best lines in Kubo an.d the Two Strings

I'm going to explain the
title of my vlog

despite the fact that the movie did a
crap job of explaining its title.

And I'm gonna tell you right now, this is a negative
movie review.

Vlogging Every Day in August!

Whoo! LA edition! So angry!

The Game hosted an advance showing of
Kubo and the Two Strings in LA yesterday.

There's a link to an article about it in
the description. I went to that advanced

screening because I definitely wasn't
sure I wanted to spend money on what looked

like an incredibly appropriative film,
just pulling all sorts of stuff from

Japanese culture while giving nothing
back. And I'm glad because that's exactly

what it is! Let me tell you the positive
first: The same production company LAIKA

that made Coraline and ParaNorman (good
movies) and then Box Trolls which had

transphobia has its villain, and then now
Kubo and the Two Strings --this production

company has made a beautiful movie.
Visually stunning! It looks like silk

paintings from Japan have come to life!

However, not a damn single person in the
main cast of this movie is asian, let

alone Japanese. Animation takes a long
time to finish so this is a film that I

read was about a decade in production. 10
years ago were they aware that they

should not be casting all white people

Yes, they were still aware of that! But
they did it because they think that the

draw of a big-name white Hollywood person
is important enough to ignore the

appropriative aspects of casting
nothing but white people to voice

definitely Asian characters. I mean two of
their names are Kubo and Hanso! Those are

Japanese people. The beetle and the
monkey are definitely Japanese

characters. The girls wearing Noh masks?
They're definitely Japanese characters!

The entire village was full of Japanese
people and I believe only two Asian

voice actors! George Takei was one of
them.

He's great,

but come on! It was nothing but
MacGuffins! They didn't make any sense!

The, the structure as it goes from
one act to the next doesn't make any

sense!

I'm gonna talk about a spoiler here: how
can an origami figure, brought to life by

apparently the spirit of Hanso, lead
the characters to the armor parts when

Hanso himself didn't succeed in doing
that and became a giant beetle? What?! Why

does nobody care that Kubo has magic? At
least people freaked out about a talking

monkey but then they didn't seem to
really freak out that much at a giant

man beetle? What? They never explain the
title! Samisen, the three stringed lute

from Japan, has three strings. The
instrument that we see Kubo playing

throughout the entire movie always has
three strings he does pull two bracelets

off of his wrist to use at the end that
are the hair of his, I think mom and a

hair of the monkey? And I thought, "Okay,
here's where it's going to turn into a two stringed

instrument!" But, no, he pulls his own hair
in to make a third-string leaving it

still a samisen, a three-stringed instrument! The,
the title doesn't make any sense and

requires that you know that samisen means
"three strings" as it is a play on that,

which again says that they are appropriating
Japanese culture! It's a purposeful

appropriation of Japanese culture and
folklore while doing shit for Japanese

people. And then the climax doesn't make
any sense.

Kubo can somehow fight against a god, the
moon king, with just his magical Samisen

playing abilities?

That's-- Is Kubo a God? What? Then at
the end, even though his parents are dead,

he can somehow repre-- resurrect
ghosts of them that looked as they did as humans...

and that's somehow a good end-- that's not
a good ending! So I guess if you, if you

want to see really gorgeous animation,
that's a reason to see it? And maybe

you'll love the story, I don't know. I
found it-- just-- I had to grit my teeth

through the whole--

Also, the jokes didn't land--

The jokes didn't land, except for the
visual jokes! That means the people who

are voicing the characters didn't tell
the jokes well! Nobody laughed in my

theater at any of the verbal jokes, only
the visual ones! Oh my gaaaah! In case you

didn't know Big Hero 6 had actual Asian
actors voice the Asian characters. Steven

Universe right now has a couple Asian
voicing[?] actors on their show.

Fresh Off the Boat is a mainstream TV show that is
full of Asian actors! Don't tell me this

bullshit about how these white people
were the best possible choices, because

they flipping weren't! If you must see Kubo and
the Two Strings, please offset that

action by, I don't know, buying a digital
copy of Big Hero 6 or subscribing to a

season of Fresh Off the Boat, so that at
least actual Asian people will get some

of your money.

I hated that movie despite the fact that
is beautiful.

Tell me your comments. Have you seen
Kubo and the Two Strings? How wrong am I or

how right am i? How do you feel about
what I'm describing here? Or tell me

anything that matters because i want to
know what matters to you.

Thank you for watching all the way to
the end of this vlog. The end is where I

always say:

Tomorrow

will be even better!