[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:06.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"if you must blink, do it now," is probably\None of the best lines in Kubo an.d the Two Strings
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.44,0:00:09.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to explain the\Ntitle of my vlog
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.39,0:00:13.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,despite the fact that the movie did a\Ncrap job of explaining its title.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.44,0:00:18.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm gonna tell you right now, this is a negative\Nmovie review.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.52,0:00:20.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Vlogging Every Day in August!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.28,0:00:24.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whoo! LA edition! So angry!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.24,0:00:29.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Game hosted an advance showing of\NKubo and the Two Strings in LA yesterday.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.94,0:00:34.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a link to an article about it in\Nthe description. I went to that advanced
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.23,0:00:37.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,screening because I definitely wasn't\Nsure I wanted to spend money on what looked
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.68,0:00:42.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like an incredibly appropriative film,\Njust pulling all sorts of stuff from
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.36,0:00:46.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Japanese culture while giving nothing\Nback. And I'm glad because that's exactly
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.95,0:00:53.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what it is! Let me tell you the positive\Nfirst: The same production company LAIKA
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.04,0:00:58.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that made Coraline and ParaNorman (good\Nmovies) and then Box Trolls which had
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.50,0:01:04.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,transphobia has its villain, and then now\NKubo and the Two Strings --this production
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.14,0:01:11.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,company has made a beautiful movie.\NVisually stunning! It looks like silk
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.31,0:01:13.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,paintings from Japan have come to life!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.36,0:01:20.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,However, not a damn single person in the\Nmain cast of this movie is asian, let
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.34,0:01:25.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,alone Japanese. Animation takes a long\Ntime to finish so this is a film that I
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.53,0:01:30.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,read was about a decade in production. 10\Nyears ago were they aware that they
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.57,0:01:32.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,should not be casting all white people
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.90,0:01:37.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, they were still aware of that! But\Nthey did it because they think that the
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.35,0:01:43.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,draw of a big-name white Hollywood person\Nis important enough to ignore the
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.26,0:01:46.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,appropriative aspects of casting\Nnothing but white people to voice
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.62,0:01:53.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,definitely Asian characters. I mean two of\Ntheir names are Kubo and Hanso! Those are
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.40,0:01:57.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Japanese people. The beetle and the\Nmonkey are definitely Japanese
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.96,0:02:03.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,characters. The girls wearing Noh masks?\NThey're definitely Japanese characters!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.96,0:02:09.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The entire village was full of Japanese\Npeople and I believe only two Asian
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.57,0:02:12.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,voice actors! George Takei was one of\Nthem.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.78,0:02:13.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's great,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.83,0:02:18.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but come on! It was nothing but\NMacGuffins! They didn't make any sense!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.18,0:02:23.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The, the structure as it goes from\None act to the next doesn't make any
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.01,0:02:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sense!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.00,0:02:28.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm gonna talk about a spoiler here: how\Ncan an origami figure, brought to life by
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.80,0:02:35.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,apparently the spirit of Hanso, lead\Nthe characters to the armor parts when
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.19,0:02:41.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hanso himself didn't succeed in doing\Nthat and became a giant beetle? What?! Why
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.61,0:02:46.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,does nobody care that Kubo has magic? At\Nleast people freaked out about a talking
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.20,0:02:49.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,monkey but then they didn't seem to\Nreally freak out that much at a giant
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.47,0:02:58.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,man beetle? What? They never explain the\Ntitle! Samisen, the three stringed lute
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.29,0:03:02.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from Japan, has three strings. The\Ninstrument that we see Kubo playing
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.85,0:03:09.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,throughout the entire movie always has\Nthree strings he does pull two bracelets
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.24,0:03:14.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,off of his wrist to use at the end that\Nare the hair of his, I think mom and a
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.13,0:03:17.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hair of the monkey? And I thought, "Okay,\Nhere's where it's going to turn into a two stringed
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.67,0:03:23.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instrument!" But, no, he pulls his own hair\Nin to make a third-string leaving it
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.49,0:03:29.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,still a samisen, a three-stringed instrument! The, \Nthe title doesn't make any sense and
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.79,0:03:34.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,requires that you know that samisen means\N"three strings" as it is a play on that,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.38,0:03:39.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which again says that they are appropriating\NJapanese culture! It's a purposeful
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.57,0:03:44.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,appropriation of Japanese culture and\Nfolklore while doing shit for Japanese
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.64,0:03:47.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people. And then the climax doesn't make\Nany sense.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.15,0:03:55.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kubo can somehow fight against a god, the\Nmoon king, with just his magical Samisen
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.50,0:03:57.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,playing abilities?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.33,0:04:04.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's-- Is Kubo a God? What? Then at\Nthe end, even though his parents are dead,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.17,0:04:08.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he can somehow repre-- resurrect\Nghosts of them that looked as they did as humans...
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.55,0:04:14.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that's somehow a good end-- that's not\Na good ending! So I guess if you, if you
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.04,0:04:20.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,want to see really gorgeous animation,\Nthat's a reason to see it? And maybe
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.13,0:04:24.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you'll love the story, I don't know. I\Nfound it-- just-- I had to grit my teeth
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.90,0:04:25.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through the whole--
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.83,0:04:27.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, the jokes didn't land--
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.10,0:04:32.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The jokes didn't land, except for the\Nvisual jokes! That means the people who
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.11,0:04:37.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are voicing the characters didn't tell\Nthe jokes well! Nobody laughed in my
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.57,0:04:44.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,theater at any of the verbal jokes, only\Nthe visual ones! Oh my gaaaah! In case you
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.17,0:04:49.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,didn't know Big Hero 6 had actual Asian\Nactors voice the Asian characters. Steven
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.15,0:04:53.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Universe right now has a couple Asian\Nvoicing[?] actors on their show.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.82,0:05:01.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fresh Off the Boat is a mainstream TV show that is\Nfull of Asian actors! Don't tell me this
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.30,0:05:05.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bullshit about how these white people\Nwere the best possible choices, because
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.59,0:05:11.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they flipping weren't! If you must see Kubo and\Nthe Two Strings, please offset that
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.50,0:05:17.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,action by, I don't know, buying a digital\Ncopy of Big Hero 6 or subscribing to a
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.98,0:05:22.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,season of Fresh Off the Boat, so that at\Nleast actual Asian people will get some
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.06,0:05:22.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of your money.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.40,0:05:28.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hated that movie despite the fact that\Nis beautiful.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.09,0:05:33.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tell me your comments. Have you seen\NKubo and the Two Strings? How wrong am I or
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.82,0:05:40.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how right am i? How do you feel about\Nwhat I'm describing here? Or tell me
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.18,0:05:43.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anything that matters because i want to\Nknow what matters to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.72,0:05:47.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you for watching all the way to\Nthe end of this vlog. The end is where I
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.92,0:05:48.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,always say:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.66,0:05:49.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tomorrow
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.68,0:05:50.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will be even better!