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charlie teh unicron 1-4: The Series Thus Far

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    Charlee, CHAR-LEE!
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    (sighs) What?
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    We gotta go! We're burning this place down!
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    (flame sounds) Oh.. what about all the animals
    in the forest?
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    Well, CLEARLY they're gonna burn a lot!
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    Oh, well, that isn't nice.
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    Man, shut the heell up.
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    YOU shut the heeell up.
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    NO, YOU SHUT THE HEEEELL UP!
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    Y-You can both go, and shut the hell up..
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    I'm not talking to you, Charlee!
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    Rainbow, BLEH! (Throws up a rainbow)
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    HOLY CRAP we're on a bridge.
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    OH GOD I'M FALLING!
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    I HAD SO MUCH TO LIVE FOOOOR~~
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    That is... tragic.
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    Not as tragic as your face.
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    Aw, come on! That was uncalled for.
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    YOUR FACE is uncalled for.
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    Hey guys!
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    Where the hell you've been?
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    Oh, you know.. Saw a movie, got some coffee..
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    I want some coffee.
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    Yeah, I could go for some coffee too.
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    Well, you can't come, you son of a bitch.
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    Oh, look. It's that dinosaur punk.
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    He owes me twenty bucks!
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    HEEY, LIO! YO LIO!
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    RA RA RA RA (unintelligent sounds)
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    What the hell did he say?
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    Man, I have no idea.
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    RA RA RA RA (unintelligent sounds)
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    Where's my MONEY, LIO?!
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    RA RA RA RA (unintelligent sounds)
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    (flame sounds) Oh crap, the fire is back!
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    I want MY TWENTY BUCKS, LIO!
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    (Liopleurodon lights on fire)
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    (snort) OH NO, Lio is on fire!
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    RA RA RA RA (unintelligent sounds)
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    Stop, drop and roll, man!
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    Well, here we are. At the pokeanose.
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    This is lovely. T-This is a lovely vacationing spot.
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    Yeah, yeah, should be nice...
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    except for tHE DRAGON!!
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    There was supposed to be a dragon there.
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    Oh..
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    Man, we put a deposit down and everything..!
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    Yeah.. there's.. no dragon.
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    Well, I can SEE that! OBVIOUSLY!
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    OH MY GOD!!
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    OHH THAT SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME!
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    Well, there is the dragon.
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    [Yep] Behold the horror.
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    That is pretty scary..
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    I'm hungry, let's find an Ihop.
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    (jazz song plays)
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    (boat horns and crashes on the ground)
    WOOH! SPRING BREAK!
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    WE JUST STOLE THIS BOAT!
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    Why would you steal a boat?
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    Who CARES! GOD!
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    I have an idea! What if we all made out?
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    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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    Well, FINE!!
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    Charlie, we need to find the Banana King.
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    The Banana King?
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    That dude's been selling candy in our street.
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    I'd rather not get involved.
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    Oh, you're involved, Char-
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    HOLY JESUS!!
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    You see, Charlie? He knows we're coming.
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    That's right, Charlie. We're going to war.
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    WE'RE GOING TO WAR!!
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    BANANA KING! GET YOUR UGLY FACE OUT HERE!
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    Yo! What do you want?
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    I want you to stop being an asshole!
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    What? I'm being an asshole. You're being an asshole.
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    YOU're being the asshole.
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    I SAID I'm being an asshole.
    But you two are definitively being assholes!
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    Charlie, tell what an asshole he is being.
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    I want no part in this.
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    See? Now that guy is not an asshole.
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    That's it. I'm tired of this asshole.
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    We're coming for you, banana king!
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    (door crashes) TRYING TO SELL CANDY IN MY STREET!
    (shotgun fire sounds)
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    FREE MARKET ECONOMY, MAN!
    Y'ALL NEED TO LEARN SOME ECONOMICS!
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    WELL, YOU NEED TO LEARN SOME "DIE"!
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    AWW! I'M BLEEDING BANANA BLOOD!
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    YEAH! SPRING BREAK!!
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    Alright, I'm done with this. Let's go to Denny's.
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    What the hell is a "Grand Slamwich"?
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    That's everything that comes with a "Grand Slam"
    put into a sandwich instead.
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    That sounds really nasty.
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    They are very popular.
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    Well, I'm gonna have some pancakes.
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    I'll put you down for a Grand Slamwich.
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    I said I want PANCAKES, WOMAN!
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    You're all getting Grand Slamwiches.
    They are very popular.
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    I don't want that crap.
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    You get two eggs, a sausage, some bacon, some ham...
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    ...mayonnaise, cheese and maple spread, all inside a sandwich.
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    Man, that sounds AWFUL!
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    GODDAMNIT I WANT MY PANCAKES!
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    I can slip some pancake inside your Gran Slamwich.
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    EEEEWWWW!
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    (flames burst) WOW!
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    (snorts) Oh, no way!
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    That crap is still burning!
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    That is from last episode! How is that still going?
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    (Jazz song plays)
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    (imitating a car engine) Brrr! Pull over! CSI Miami!
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    Well, what's going on-
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    CSI MIAMI, ASSHOLE! WE'VE GOT SOME QUESTIONS!
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    O-Okay, I will cooperate.
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    WHERE WERE YOU AT 9:11?
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    I-I don't know.. here?
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    UH-HUH! AND WHERE WERE YOU THIS MORNING,
    WHEN YOU WERE MURDERING SOMEONE?!
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    WOAH, WOAH! HOLD THE PHONE!!
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    I DIDN'T MURDER ANYBODY!
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    UNLIKELY!!
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    AAHH WOAAH! (car crashed into the ground)
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    I stole a police car!
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    C-S-I M-I-A-M-I LET'S GO TO THE BEACH!
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    Well, here we are. The scene of the crime.
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    Oh no! That's starfish!
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    YEAH, HE IS DEAD, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
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    WHAT DID YOU DO, CHARLIE? STOMP HIM OVER WITH
    THOSE YOUR BIG OL' HORSE HOOVES?
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    NO! I WOULDN'T DO THAT!
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    HE HAD A LIFE, CHARLIE! A JOB!
    REAL LIFE ECONOMY AND SHIT!
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    YOU PUT YOUR GROSS MAN HOOBS ALL
    OVER HIM UNTIL HE DIED!
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    ArE yOu ThE HoRsE tHaT KiLleD mY cOuSiN?
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    THIS ASSHOLE PUT HIS WEIRD FUNGUS FEET ALL OVER YOUR COUSIN AND KILLED HIM!
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    Oh My GoD!! oH mY gOd! WhY wOuLd YoU gO aNd Do ThAt, BrO??
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    IT WAS PROBABLY SEXUAL!!
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    I DIDN'T DO THIS! I WAS PLAYING MARIO'S AT THE TIME!
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    HOW CAN YOU EVEN HOLD THE CONTROLLER WITH THOSE BIG OL' SCRATCHY HORSE FINGERS
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    I'M NOT GOOD! MARIO FALLS DOWN A LOT
    AND GETS BOO BOOS!
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    WeLL YoU sHoUlD kNow, I'm NoT uNrEaSoNaBlE.
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    YoU'll bE mY sLaVe FoR tHe DaY aNd We'LL fOrGeT
    aNy Of ThIs NoNsEnSe EvEr HaPPeNeD.
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    CASE CLOSED!!
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    ChArLiE, tHiS iS mY hOuSe, dArLiNg.
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    It's very... nice.
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    OkAy NoW, wE gOt SoMe RuLeS tO gO oVeR, yOu ReAdY?
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    Yes! I am ready.
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    RuLe NuMbEr 1: PaRtY aLL tHe TiMe!
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    That's... rule number one?
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    PaRtY aLL tHe TiMe!
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    Okay..
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    RuLe NuMbEr 2: CoCaInE eVerYwHeRe.
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    Okay...
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    EvErYwHeRe! ThE sEiLiNG, tHe DiShWaShEr,
    All OvEr YoUr BoDy, EvErYwHeRe!
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    That's a strange rule...
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    RuLe NuMbEr 3: ReUsE pRiNtEr PaPeR, pRiNt On BoTh SiDeS.
    I'm NoT mAdE oUttA fRiCkInG mOnEy.
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    The tone of these rules seem inconsistent....
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    RuLe NuMbEr 4: BuSiNeSs LuNcH.
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    Business lunch?
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    YeAh, LeT's Go To FrIcKiNg "ReB LoBsTeR" oR sOmE sHiT.
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    Oh my god, I'm so excited! They got cheddar biscuits!
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    They are pretty good.
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    Man, I would kill any of you assholes for a cheddar biscuit.
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    ToTaLLy, I sTrAiGhT Up MuRdErED mY cOuSiN
    fOr A bAsKeT oF tHeM.
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    HEEY!!
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    C-S-I!
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    C-S-I M-I-A-M-I!!!
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    Good afternoon! Welcome to Reb Lobster.
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    Where the hell are our biscuits?!
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    Oh, I'm sorry, we're out of the cheddar bay biscuits.
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    But I can bring you a nice warm basket of GRAND SLAMWICHES
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    NNNOOOOOOO!!! (fire burts and a boat falls and horns)
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    (Jazz music plays)
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    (galactic-like song)
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    Captain's log, stardate 90210.
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    Hey! Why are you the captain?
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    Why wouldn't I be?
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    I wanna be the captain! You could be Riker.
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    I'm not Riker! YOU'RE RIKER, ASSHOLE!
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    No, you're totally Riker.
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    Who is Riker?
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    The rapist from Star Trek.
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    (explosion) WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!
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    I SCREAM!
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    HEY, THAT'S MY JOB, RIKER!
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    OH MY GOD, I HATE YOU!!
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    (screen turns on) Good afternoon, welcome to space. Are you ready to surrender your starship?
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    Are you ready to surrender your FACE?!
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    Well, if you're not gonna surrender, I guess I'll just have to make you a sandwich..
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    YOU BETTER NOT, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! (battle music starts)
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    Let's see, what should I put in this sandwich...I have some eggs..
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    QUICKLY, RAISE THE SHIELDS!
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    I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT!
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    ...some sausage...
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    FIRE TORPEDOS, PHOTONS OR WHATEVER DUMB SPACESHIT WE GOT!!
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    ...some bacon and ham...
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    WARP SPEED! OR EVEN LINCOLN TOWN CAR SPEED, JUST GO!!
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    I'LL GO! JUST- I'LL PUSH THE BUTTONS.
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    ...some hot mayonaise to be pretty great and lots of processed cheese...
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    NO! NNNOOOOO!!!!
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    GUYS THIS SHIP RUNS WINDOWS 8
    I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING!
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    ...and to top it all off a big gue hand of maple spread. All shut inside a sandwich.
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    A GRAND SLAMWICH!!!
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    (explosion)
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    (GRAND SLAMWICH INTENSIFIES)
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    WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!
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    THEY'RE SOO POPULAAR!
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    (GRAND SLAMWICH INTENSIFIES)
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    GROSS!!!
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    I'M BLEEDING BANANA BLOOD!
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    Captain's log, stardate 911:
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    We had to abandon ship because of good old nasty and now we're on some dumb desert planet!
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    Captain's log: Riker is pretending to be captain again.
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    Captain's log: Someone who is SUPPOSED to be
    my friend is being a DICK BALLS!
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    Hey! Hey guys!
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    Oh! ...hey.
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    Wanna hear a song I'm working on? It's gonna be on my next EP.
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    Cool bro.
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    Whatever, bye!
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    I'd like to hear a song.
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    HOW GREAT! Oh-huh..
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    ♪ I'm a millipede, I'm a millipede, hey, hey! ♪
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    ♪ And I'm gonna crawl inside your brain ♪
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    ♪ Right inside your brain, right inside your brain ♪
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    ♪ Now you only think of millipede thoughts ♪
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    Han?
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    That was.. hum.. really good. Thanks.
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    I'm thinking of doing a final print, you know, for the fans.
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    You take requests?
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    Sure, if your request is Total Eclipse of the Heart.
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    [Hum...] ♪ And I need you now tonight...♪
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    ♪ and I need you more than ever ♪
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    ♪ And if you only hold me tight ♪
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    (jazz music plays)
Title:
charlie teh unicron 1-4: The Series Thus Far
Description:
more » « less
Video Language:
English
Duration:
07:26

English subtitles

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