Respect as a base for any dialogue | Marta Nomen | TEDxBarcelonaWomen

Marta Nomen is a social educator who specializes in drug dependency and activity in prisons. Today she is the Director of Group 33 and cofounder of UpSocial.

Here she speaks about the necessity of penitentiary reform. Prisons are excellent sites for reform, places to cultivate humanity. She thinks that we can take advantage of this opportunity to promote and educate gender equality.

When I was a university student

someone gave me
the most important lesson ever.

It was the course instructor of a course
with an unusual name, Drug Dependencies,

who decided from the very moment
he saw me - and I don't know why -

that I shouldn't speak during his classes.

He never explained me why,
he simply said to me,

"Excuse me, what is your name?"
"Marta."

"Well, Marta, you cannot speak."
"Why?" "You simply can't."

The conversation ended there.

Halfway through the course,
I understood why he was doing that.

He wanted me to feel

the same way the people
I would be treating felt

using what I learned in his course.

I had a very tough time during the course,
I could not say anything.

He absolutely ignored
every move I would make.

I felt absolutely undervalued
and excluded from my group.

After a while, I was sent for internship

- during my last Social Education
course - to a prison.

And it was that day
when I unconsciously put into practice

what I learnt:
not to speak, but simply listen.

I got lost on the road,

it was very difficult to get to a place
in the middle of nowhere.

My internship tutor was waiting for me.

All the way right from the main door
to the block I had to go every single day

I just couldn't retain any information
or utter any word.

I simply could not react
to the stimuli I had in front of me.

When I left that place
and got into my car, I thought:

"Marta, this is too much for you,

prison is not the right place
for you to work,"

and I swore I never would.

After a while I left Barcelona,

thinking that I would come across
other creative things somewhere else,

a different way to fix all the social
problems I was facing as a professional,

and I left for London.

And when I came back again,

they offered me my first job
in a prison in the heart of Barcelona.

I couldn't believe it. I knew
I didn't want that but I couldn't say no.

I agreed and I started working there.

And that's when I thought
I reconciled with that space,

and I began to understand
what happened inside:

an inert facility, but full of people,

people with their own concerns,
dynamic people.

I understood that working
with people means respect.

And, while working
in groups with those guys

that I helped as a professional,

I realized that they had
no respect for themselves.

On the contrary, I felt
they respected me.

During that time,
many questions came to my mind -

questions like,
"How have they ended up here?"

If they had the same
existential thoughts that I have,

why have they been given
such a distinct response

that has brought them here
at this moment?

These are questions
I haven't found the answer to yet,

but what I have always
wondered, above all,

is if I felt respected by them

being a young, small woman

they used to meet every day,
one of the few they meet regularly -

would it mean, once they'll be out,

that they could have
a different attitude towards women?

Towards any kind of women?

I'm sorry, but this is something
I cannot answer right now

because we're talking about
very long processes.

It's as if I sometimes invent
norms in my favor,

but I try to stay informed

and speak advisedly

so I have searched and found out
there are many regulations

on gender equality,

of The European Union, the United Nations,
the Spanish Constitution,

but sometimes, they don't reflect
the reality and we are aware of it.

The same thing happens
with the Spanish Constitution

when it says that prisons
have to be a space

for reeducation and social reintegration.

And it's puzzling,
because we invest a lot in this;

we lock people away
and the problem deepens

because we believe that time
will solve the pending issues,

and we complain when things
don't turn out to be like that.

And I wondered, if there
were strategies we could implement

to really change this,
why aren't they applied?

And I also wondered if there were
any strategies in place at all

and I tell you that there are.

They have been tested and proven,
and have been shown that they work

and that they reduce recidivism
from 40% to 16%.

When I read these guidelines,
they made me think:

why are they always
referring to men?

Why is it taken for granted
that the sentenced to prison are men?

And if it is a woman, what happens?

Wouldn't it be easier
to think of them as people?

Wouldn't it be much easier to write
the rules thinking of them as people?

Of course, doesn't come as a surprise
that if they are only referring to men

they then don't take
cohabitation into consideration

as there is everywhere
else in this world,

where for the time being
men and women live together.

I give you some current facts,
here in Cataluña,

there are 9,900 people
that are incarcerated -

9,263 are men and 637 are women.

There is quite a difference
in numbers between the genders,

and they serve their sentence
separately, in separate prisons.

I'd like we all think about this:

do you really think
that unmixed spaces

are suitable for the promotion
of gender equality?

For respect between men and women?

Do you really think that spaces
where they don't take into account

the respect for people
nor human beings

can be spaces where people
can regain self-esteem?

I think that it can be done,
that there are ways to do this,

and we recently held several conferences

where we discussed
research outcomes that proved it.

There I met someone who told me
something that had a great impact on me,

Jesús Valverde, who said:

"We are not here, our mission
is neither to judge nor to justify

but rather to understand
in order to take action.

To understand you first need to listen,
and to listen first means to respect."

Do we really believe that prisons
are spaces that promote a culture

for gender equality
and respect for people?

Keeping in mind that today

we all can end up
in one of these prisons,

do you really think
that we are treating them

the way we'd like to be treated?

Are we implementing strategies
able to help face conflicts

in a totally different way?

I invite you to a brief reflexion:

imagine a situation;
any kind of situation,

that makes you feel insecure
and absolutely vulnerable,

and think, what would you need

to change that situation
and feel secure again?

Well take that in the prison.

Take it there,

because those people will really
try to work that out.

If we are creating spaces outside
that are an inspiration for change,

don't you think it is the right time
to create and use those spaces there

in order to inspire and make a change?

I personally think so,

and that's why I work every day

to help turn the prison into a space

that can inspire a change in people.

Thank you.

(Applause)