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Soyuzmultfilm presents
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Vovka in the Never-Ever Tsardom
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Screenplay: V.Korostylyov
Director: V.Stepantsev
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Staging directors:
A.Savchenko, P.Repkin
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Camera: M.Druyan
Composer: I.Yakushenko
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Sound: B.Filchikov
Art: O.Gemmerling, G.Arkadyev
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Assistant Directors:
V.Turbiner, Ye.Shilova
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Script editor:
R.Frichinskaya
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Animators: Yu.Butyrin, O.Orlova,
A.Aleshina, A.Petrov, T.Taranovich
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V.Dolgikh, G.Barinova, S.Zhutkovskaya,
L.Kayukov, A.Abarenov, V.Arsentyev
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Voices: Rina Zelyonaya, Ye.Ponsova,
K.Rumyanova, E.Treyvas, M.Yanshin
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"Fairy Tales"
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- Well, what else would you like
to read, my dear?
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- I'd like another book like this one.
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- I've got something even better.
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Take a look.
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"Do it yourself"
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- Always "yourself" and "by yourself."
What about like in here?
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Live like royalty! Doing nothing is
the only thing you get to do!
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- Then you absolutely must visit...
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...the Never-Ever Tsardom.
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- Ha, like anyone can get there.
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- And why not?
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Where's the fairy-tale section here...
Ah, found it!
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Now stand over here...
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Straighten your head...
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Try to be still...
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- Wow!
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- You see, only drawn little boys
can live in books. But you two...
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...are the same thing, right?
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- It's a fact! Are you a fairy?
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- Oh, no-no! There is nothing
magical about this.
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I just read this book
from time to time.
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Well, go on, dear.
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- Nobody's around.
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Hello! Where is everyone?
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- I've piles of food and drink immenses
and other stuff to stuff my tum.
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But now and then I paint some fences
so no-one thinks that I'm a bum.
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- Tsar! Hey, tsar!
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- Oh my goodness!
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- You scared me!
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I thought someone picked up our
book to read, and I'm dressed like that.
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- No, it's just me! But why were you
painting that fence?
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You're a tsar! You're not supposed
to be doing anything at all!
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- I know, I know...
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That's my job -- doing nothing is
the only thing I get to do.
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I'm bored to death!
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And besides...
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I'm not a real tsar.
I'm a fairy-tale tsar.
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I figured -- while the book is on
the shelf, I'll paint a fence.
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Useful, and a nice distraction.
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Don't you agree?
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- Nope. You just don't get
the point of living like royalty.
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A tsar, that's...
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You want candy? You got it!
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You want ice-cream? You got it!
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And he's painting fences.
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- Well-well...
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I see.
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Care to yield a seat to the elderly?
Or do they not teach that at school?
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- There you go.
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- And the crown, too.
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- There you go.
- It's a tad big on you.
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- So... Ice-cream, you say?
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- Yeah!
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- Hello!
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Guards!
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- All right, boys.
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Chop his head off.
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For being a bum.
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- Not a problem!
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- At... the... door...
At the door...
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...his old woman...
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...and in front of her
a broken wash-tub.
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Ah, that's where I am.
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- Grandma! Hi!
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- Hello, dearie.
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- Grandma, how does one go about
seeing the Goldfish?
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You should know, of all people.
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- Well, the sea is right there.
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- Except, I really suggest you don't go.
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Just listen what sort of
travesty happened to me...
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- She's going to try and tell me!
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Like I didn't read all about it.
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But I'm not you, right?
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I don't want to be
"the ruler of all sea!"
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She'll quickly see things my way.
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- Hey, sonny!
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Sweetie...
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...you know...
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...could you ask her
for a new wash-tub?
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- Woah there!
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Don't start that again!
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First you'll want a wash-tub.
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Then you'll want a washing machine!
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- No, no...
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...nothing like that.
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- Oh, very well. I'll ask.
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- Hey, Goldfish!
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Hey-hey! Goldfish!
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Can you hear me?
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- What do you desire, old man?
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- What? What's this?
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- Ah-ha, Goldfish!
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Listen up, Goldfish. First of all...
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...I'll need you to...
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- What?
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Did you first weave the net?
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Did you cast it three times
into the sea?
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Did you catch me?
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Didn't move a finger, but already
thinks he can order me around.
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- Hey, where are you dragging me?
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Oh, yeah? Whatever!
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Stupid herring!
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- Wow, that's awesome!
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Hey! Who are you?
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- We? We're Vasilisas the Wise.
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- Who?
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- Vasilisas the Wise!
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- Where did you come from?
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- We're here from different fairy-tales.
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- Because we're holding
a Young Vasilisa Symposium.
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- On the topic of wisdom exchange.
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- What?
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- Wisdom.
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- I wish I could, you know, learn a few
wisdoms myself. Exchange or whatever.
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- What do you think, girls?
Should we teach him?
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- We'll teach him!
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"Palace"
"(standard)"
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"Pool"
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"Tea Cloth"
"Self-serving"
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Here's a lesson to be heeded:
let us calculate firsthand
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how much cinderblock is needed
so the house is built as planned.
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Let us quickly calculate
How the water pipes relate
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Where from, and where it's flowing
Mathematics will dictate.
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- I don't wanna!
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I don't wanna!
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First they teach me at school,
and now they teach me here, too!
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- Hmm...
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- You, my friend, need to get to the
Never-Ever Tsardom.
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- Whatever for?
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- Ah, but there you'll find
"two from the chest, at your behest."
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Anything you tell them to do,
they'll do it for you.
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- Anything at all?
- Anything.
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- Wow, how do I get there?
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- Go straight, and so you
don't get lost, follow this.
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- Well, bye!
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- Bon voyage!
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"The Never-Ever Tsardom"
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- Hey!
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Two from the chest,
at my behest!
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- Present!
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- Hi!
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Okay... is that true...
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You'll do anything for me?
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- Yeah!
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- Yeah? Okay, then get me...
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First of all, cookies!
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Second of... hey.
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Oh, are you going to bend
the fingers for me, too?
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- Yeah.
- Very well.
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- Second of all, candies!
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And third... well, go on, bend.
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And third of all, ice-cream!
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And hurry, quick!
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- Right away!
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- Hey, hey! Hello! Stop!
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What, are you going to
eat it for me, too?
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- No, thanks. Get back into the chest.
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- Pastries, hot pastries!
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Meat-pies, turnovers, mincemeat tarts!
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- A stove!
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- Hello there!
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- Listen, stove... can you
get me something to eat?
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- Of course, dear!
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Only... first you'll need
to chop some wood...
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...get the fire going...
then knead some dough.
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- All right, no problem!
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Hey, you!
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Two from the chest!
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There you are.
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This needs chopping and kneading.
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- Right away!
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- Not again!
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The other way around!
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- Got it!
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- Are you doing this on purpose?
You want me to go around hungry?
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- Get back into the chest, right now!
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- These two have no clue.
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I better do it myself.
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One more time...
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Why is it not chopping?
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Whatever, this will do.
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- Right, I'll knead this up, then...
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Is this dough?
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Why is it all sticky?
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Oh, whatever.
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This will do, I'm sure.
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- There's your pastry.
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- Yuck, what's this?
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It's all black!
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- Well, go on, then!
You baked it, you eat it!
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- What, this is pastry?
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No, thank you, I really...
don't feel like one right now.
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- What's with you?
Are you laughing at me?
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Think I can't do anything?
Just like you?
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- Hah! Not at all! I just don't
have any tools, that's all.
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- Well, that's easy.
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- What's this?
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Tools?
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Okay!
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Very well.
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Whatever I want,
I can do it myself!
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A trough, or a wash-tub.
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I forgot this was over here.
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Ah, if I could manage this...
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...she'd be totally amazed!
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- My goodness!
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Don't tell me the Goldfish took pity.
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- No, grandma, I did it all by myself!
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- Atta boy!
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Now you know what?
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- What?
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- Want to build me a house?
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- A house?
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I don't know how yet.
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Let's see what it says
about building houses.
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"Do It Yourself"
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"That's all!"
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