Why kids need to learn about gender and sexuality
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0:00 - 0:03Alright, let's get this kicked off.
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0:03 - 0:06(Music)
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0:06 - 0:09(Singing) It's OK to be gay.
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0:09 - 0:12We are different in many ways.
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0:12 - 0:16Doesn't matter if you're a boy,
girl or somewhere in between, -
0:16 - 0:21we all are part of one big family.
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0:22 - 0:26Gay means "happy."
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0:26 - 0:29Queer Kid Stuff.
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0:29 - 0:31You are enough
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0:31 - 0:35here at Queer Kid Stuff.
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0:35 - 0:38(Applause)
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0:42 - 0:45Opening a performance with lyrics
like "It's OK to be gay" -
0:45 - 0:47for a roomful of adults is one thing,
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0:47 - 0:52but it's entirely different
for a roomful of kindergartners. -
0:52 - 0:56What you've just heard is the theme song
for my web series "Queer Kid Stuff," -
0:56 - 1:00where I make LGBTQ+
and social justice videos for all ages. -
1:00 - 1:04And when I say all ages,
I mean literal babies -
1:04 - 1:07to your great-great-grandma.
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1:07 - 1:10Now, I know what you're thinking:
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1:10 - 1:13"Whoa, they're talking
about gay stuff with kids." -
1:13 - 1:18But talking to kids about gay stuff
is actually crucial. -
1:18 - 1:20The American Academy
of Pediatrics has found -
1:20 - 1:24that children have a solid understanding
of their gender identity -
1:24 - 1:26by the age of four.
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1:26 - 1:29This is when children
are developing their sense of self. -
1:29 - 1:31They're observing the world around them,
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1:31 - 1:33absorbing that information
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1:33 - 1:34and internalizing it.
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1:35 - 1:39Now, most parents want their children
to become kind, empathetic, -
1:39 - 1:40self-confident adults,
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1:40 - 1:44and exposure to diversity
is an important part -
1:44 - 1:46of that social and emotional development.
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1:47 - 1:50And -- gender nonconforming kids
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1:50 - 1:55and trans kids and kids with trans
and nonbinary and queer parents -
1:55 - 1:57are everywhere.
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2:00 - 2:05In the series, my stuffed bear cohost
and I talk about the LGBT community, -
2:05 - 2:07activism, gender and pronouns,
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2:07 - 2:10consent and body positivity.
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2:10 - 2:12We tackle these topics through songs,
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2:12 - 2:14not unlike the one you just heard,
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2:14 - 2:17simple definitions and metaphors.
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2:17 - 2:21We approach these ideas, to steal a phrase
from an old professor of mine, -
2:21 - 2:23from "under the doorknob" --
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2:23 - 2:25getting down to toddler height
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2:25 - 2:29and looking up at the great big world
through their tiny little eyes, -
2:30 - 2:34taking these seemingly complex ideas
and simplifying them -- -
2:34 - 2:36not dumbing them down,
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2:36 - 2:38but homing in on the core concept.
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2:38 - 2:42Gender is about how we feel
and how we express ourselves. -
2:42 - 2:45Sexuality is about love
and gender and family, -
2:45 - 2:47not about sex.
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2:47 - 2:49And these are all ideas
children can grasp. -
2:50 - 2:52In one of my earliest
episodes about gender, -
2:52 - 2:54I used the idea of pronouns
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2:54 - 2:57to underscore the definition
and introduce gender-neutral pronouns -
2:57 - 2:58like "they" and "them."
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2:58 - 3:01I encourage children to think
about their own pronouns -
3:01 - 3:04and to ask others for theirs.
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3:04 - 3:07In later episodes,
I build on this foundation -
3:07 - 3:11and introduce big fancy words
like "nonbinary" and "transgender." -
3:12 - 3:14I get emails from viewers in their 20s
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3:14 - 3:19who use my videos to explain
nonbinary gender to their grandparents. -
3:21 - 3:26But, I get one comment
over and over again: -
3:27 - 3:29"Let kids be kids."
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3:30 - 3:33Well, that's a nice sentiment and all,
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3:33 - 3:38but only if it actually includes all kids.
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3:39 - 3:41Just a few weeks ago,
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3:41 - 3:44a 15-year-old in Huntsville, Alabama
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3:44 - 3:48died by suicide after being
bullied for being gay. -
3:49 - 3:53In 2018, it was a seven-year-old
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3:53 - 3:55in Denver, Colorado.
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3:56 - 4:00There have been and will be many more.
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4:01 - 4:03Lesbian, gay and bisexual teens
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4:03 - 4:06are more than three times
more likely to attempt suicide -
4:06 - 4:08than their heterosexual peers,
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4:08 - 4:12and transgender teens
are almost six times more likely. -
4:13 - 4:16According to one study,
roughly one third of homeless youth -
4:16 - 4:20identify as lesbian, gay,
bisexual or questioning, -
4:20 - 4:24and about four percent of homeless youth
identify as transgender, -
4:24 - 4:28compared with one percent
of the general youth population surveyed. -
4:30 - 4:32According to the Human Rights Campaign,
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4:32 - 4:38there have been 128 killings
of trans people -
4:38 - 4:41in 87 cities across 32 states
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4:41 - 4:43since 2013.
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4:43 - 4:46And those are the only the reported cases.
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4:48 - 4:52And 80 percent of those killings
were of trans women of color. -
4:54 - 4:58The queer situation is bleak,
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4:58 - 4:59to say the least.
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5:01 - 5:03The YouTube comments on my videos
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5:03 - 5:05are not much better.
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5:06 - 5:07I'm used to the harassment.
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5:07 - 5:10I get messages daily
telling me I'm a pedophile -
5:10 - 5:14and that I should kill myself
in a number of increasingly creative ways. -
5:15 - 5:17I once had to put the word "truck"
on my block list -
5:17 - 5:20because someone wanted me
to get run over by a truck. -
5:20 - 5:23"Shower" and "oven" are in there, too,
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5:23 - 5:27for the less creative and more disturbing
Holocaust reference. -
5:28 - 5:30When neo-Nazis marched in Charlottesville,
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5:30 - 5:32I was unsurprised to learn
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5:32 - 5:36that the creator of a violent Reddit meme
about one of my episodes -
5:36 - 5:39was in the tiki torch crowd.
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5:40 - 5:44This barrage of negativity
is what we're up against: -
5:44 - 5:47the crushing statistics, the violence,
the mental health risks, -
5:47 - 5:52the well-meaning but flawed response
my parents gave me when I came out, -
5:52 - 5:54that they didn't want me
to have a harder life. -
5:56 - 5:57That's what we're up against.
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5:59 - 6:00But in the face of all that,
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6:02 - 6:03I choose joy.
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6:04 - 6:08I choose rainbows
and unicorns and glitter, -
6:08 - 6:13and I sing that it's OK to be gay
with my childhood stuffed teddy bear. -
6:14 - 6:15I make queer media for kids
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6:16 - 6:19because I wish I had this
when I was their age. -
6:20 - 6:23I make it so others don't have
to struggle through what I did, -
6:23 - 6:25not understanding my identity
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6:25 - 6:28because I didn't have any exposure
to who I could be. -
6:29 - 6:33I teach and spread this message
through joy and positivity -
6:33 - 6:36instead of framing it around
the hardships of queer life. -
6:37 - 6:39I want kids to grow up and into themselves
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6:39 - 6:43with pride for who they are
and who they can be, -
6:43 - 6:47no matter who they love or what they wear
or what pronouns they use. -
6:47 - 6:50And I want them to love others
for their differences, -
6:51 - 6:52not in spite of them.
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6:53 - 6:57I think fostering this pride and empathy
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6:57 - 7:01will make the world a kinder
and more equal place -
7:01 - 7:06and combat the bigotry and hate
that festers in our world. -
7:08 - 7:13So, talk to a kid about gender.
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7:13 - 7:15Talk to a kid about sexuality.
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7:15 - 7:17Teach them about consent.
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7:17 - 7:20Tell them it is OK
for boys to wear dresses -
7:20 - 7:23and for girls to speak up.
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7:23 - 7:27Let's spread radical queer joy.
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7:29 - 7:30Thank you.
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7:30 - 7:33(Applause)
- Title:
- Why kids need to learn about gender and sexuality
- Speaker:
- Lindsay Amer
- Description:
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Lindsay Amer is the creator of "Queer Kid Stuff," an educational video series that breaks down complex ideas around gender and sexuality through songs and metaphors. By giving kids and their families a vocabulary to express themselves, Amer hopes to create more empathetic adults -- and spreading a message of radical acceptance in a world where it's sometimes dangerous to just be yourself. "I want kids to grow up and into themselves with pride for who they are and who they can be," Amer says.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 07:47
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for Why kids need to learn about gender and sexuality | ||
Brian Greene approved English subtitles for Why kids need to learn about gender and sexuality | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for Why kids need to learn about gender and sexuality | ||
Camille Martínez accepted English subtitles for Why kids need to learn about gender and sexuality | ||
Camille Martínez edited English subtitles for Why kids need to learn about gender and sexuality | ||
Joseph Geni edited English subtitles for Why kids need to learn about gender and sexuality | ||
Joseph Geni edited English subtitles for Why kids need to learn about gender and sexuality |