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Alright, let's get this kicked off.
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(Music)
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It's OK to be gay.
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We are different in many ways.
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Doesn't matter if you're a boy,
girl, or somewhere in between,
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we all are part of one big family.
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Gay means happy.
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Queer Kid Stuff.
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You are enough.
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You're at Queer Kid Stuff.
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(Applause)
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Opening a performance with lyrics
like "it's OK to be gay"
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for a roomful of adults is one thing,
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but it's entirely different
for a roomful of kindergartners.
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What you've just heard is the theme song
for my web series "Queer Kid Stuff,"
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where I make LGBTQ+
and social justice videos for all ages,
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and when I say all ages,
I mean literal babies
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to your great-great-grandma.
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Now, I know what you're thinking.
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"Whoa, they're talking
about gay stuff with kids."
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But talking to kids about gay stuff
is actually crucial.
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The American Academy of Pediatrics
has found that children
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have a solid understanding
of their gender identity
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by the age of four.
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This is when children
are developing their sense of self.
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They're observing the world around them,
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absorbing that information,
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and internalizing it.
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Now, most parents want their children
to become kind, empathetic,
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self-confident adults,
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and exposure to diversity
is an important part
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of that social and emotional development.
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And, gender-non-conforming kids
and trans kids and kids with trans
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and non-binary and queer parents
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are everywhere.
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In the series, my stuffed bear cohost
and I talk about the LGBT community,
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activism, gender and pronouns,
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consent and body positivity.
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We tackle these topics through songs
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not unlike the one you just heard,
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simple definitions, and metaphors.
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We approach these ideas, to steal a phrase
from an old professor of mine,
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from under the doorknob,
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getting down to toddler height
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and looking up at the great big world
through their tiny little eyes,
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taking these seemingly complex ideas
and simplifying them,
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not dumbing them down,
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but homing in on the core concept.
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Gender is about how we feel
and how we express ourselves.
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Sexuality is about love
and gender and family,
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not about sex.
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And these are all ideas
children can grasp.
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In one of my earliest
episodes about gender,
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I used the idea of pronouns
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to underscore the definition
and introduce gender-neutral pronouns
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like "they" and "them."
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I encourage children to think
about their own pronouns
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and to ask others for theirs.
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In later episodes,
I build on this foundation
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and introduce big fancy words
like "non-binary" and "transgender."
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I get emails from viewers in their 20s
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who use my videos to explain
non-binary gender to their grandparents.
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But, I get one comment
over and over again:
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"Let kids be kids."
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Well, that's a nice sentiment and all,
but only if it actually includes all kids.
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Just a few weeks ago,
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a 15-year old in Huntsville, Alabama
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died by suicide after being
bullied for being gay.
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In 2018, it was a seven-year old
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in Denver, Colorado.
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There have been and will be many more.
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Lesbian, gay, and bisexual teens
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are more than three times
more likely to attempt suicide
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than their heterosexual peers,
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and transgender teens
are almost six times more likely.
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According to one study,
roughly one third of homeless youth
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identify as Lesbian, gay,
bisexual or questioning,
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and about four percent of homeless youth
identify as transgender,
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compared with one percent
of the general youth population surveyed.
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According to the Human Rights Campaign,
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there have been 128 killings
of trans people in 87 cities
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across 32 states since 2013,
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and those are the only the reported cases.
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And 80 percent of those killings
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were of trans women of color.
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The queer situation is bleak,
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to say the least.
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The YouTube comments on my videos
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are not much better.
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I'm used to the harassment.
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I get messages daily
telling me I'm a pedophile
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and that I should kill myself
in a number of increasingly creative ways.
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I once had to put
the word "truck" on my block list
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because someone wanted me
to get run over by a truck.
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"Shower" and "oven" are in there too
for the less creative
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and more disturbing Holocaust reference.
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When Neo-Nazis marched in Charlottesville,
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I was unsurprised to learn
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that the creator of a violent Reddit meme
about one of my episodes
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was in the tiki torch crowd.
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This barrage of negativity
is what we're up against:
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the crushing statistics, the violence,
the mental health risks,
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the well-meaning but flawed response
my parents gave me when I came out,
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that they didn't want me
to have a harder life.
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That's what we're up against.
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But in the face of all that,
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I choose joy.
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I choose rainbows and unicorns and glitter
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and I sing that it's OK to be gay
with my childhood stuffed teddy bear.
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I make queer media for kids
because I wish I had this
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when I was their age.
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I make it so others don't have
to struggle through what I did,
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not understanding my identity
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because I didn't have any exposure
to who I could be.
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I teach and spread this message
through joy and positivity
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instead of framing it around
the hardships of queer life.
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I want kids to grow up and into themselves
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with pride for who they are
and who they can be
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no matter who they love or what they wear
or what pronouns they use,
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and I want them to love others
for their differences,
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not in spite of them.
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I think fostering this pride and empathy
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will make the world a kinder
and more equal place
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and combat the bigotry and hate
that festers in our world.
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So, talk to a kid about gender.
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Talk to a kid about sexuality.
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Teach them about consent.
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Tell them it is OK
for boys to wear dresses
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and for girls to speak up.
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Let's spread radical queer joy.
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Thank you.
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(Applause)