WEBVTT 00:00:00.197 --> 00:00:03.462 Alright, let's get this kicked off. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:03.486 --> 00:00:05.516 (Music) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:05.540 --> 00:00:08.819 (Singing) It's OK to be gay. 00:00:08.843 --> 00:00:12.071 We are different in many ways. 00:00:12.095 --> 00:00:16.215 Doesn't matter if you're a boy, girl or somewhere in between, 00:00:16.239 --> 00:00:20.998 we all are part of one big family. 00:00:22.047 --> 00:00:25.872 Gay means "happy." 00:00:25.896 --> 00:00:28.551 Queer Kid Stuff. 00:00:29.405 --> 00:00:31.049 You are enough 00:00:31.073 --> 00:00:34.848 here at Queer Kid Stuff. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:34.872 --> 00:00:38.210 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:41.555 --> 00:00:44.708 Opening a performance with lyrics like "It's OK to be gay" 00:00:44.732 --> 00:00:47.375 for a roomful of adults is one thing, 00:00:47.399 --> 00:00:51.636 but it's entirely different for a roomful of kindergartners. 00:00:51.660 --> 00:00:55.674 What you've just heard is the theme song for my web series "Queer Kid Stuff," 00:00:55.698 --> 00:01:00.270 where I make LGBTQ+ and social justice videos for all ages. 00:01:00.294 --> 00:01:04.056 And when I say all ages, I mean literal babies 00:01:04.080 --> 00:01:06.557 to your great-great-grandma. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:07.322 --> 00:01:09.589 Now, I know what you're thinking: 00:01:10.085 --> 00:01:13.388 "Whoa, they're talking about gay stuff with kids." 00:01:13.412 --> 00:01:17.521 But talking to kids about gay stuff is actually crucial. 00:01:17.970 --> 00:01:20.162 The American Academy of Pediatrics has found 00:01:20.186 --> 00:01:23.789 that children have a solid understanding of their gender identity 00:01:23.813 --> 00:01:25.673 by the age of four. 00:01:26.425 --> 00:01:29.131 This is when children are developing their sense of self. 00:01:29.155 --> 00:01:31.275 They're observing the world around them, 00:01:31.299 --> 00:01:32.609 absorbing that information 00:01:32.633 --> 00:01:34.236 and internalizing it. 00:01:34.648 --> 00:01:38.813 Now, most parents want their children to become kind, empathetic, 00:01:38.837 --> 00:01:40.428 self-confident adults, 00:01:40.452 --> 00:01:43.812 and exposure to diversity is an important part 00:01:43.836 --> 00:01:46.487 of that social and emotional development. 00:01:47.093 --> 00:01:49.660 And -- gender nonconforming kids 00:01:49.684 --> 00:01:54.987 and trans kids and kids with trans and nonbinary and queer parents 00:01:55.011 --> 00:01:57.117 are everywhere. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:00.054 --> 00:02:05.030 In the series, my stuffed bear cohost and I talk about the LGBT community, 00:02:05.054 --> 00:02:07.105 activism, gender and pronouns, 00:02:07.129 --> 00:02:09.689 consent and body positivity. 00:02:09.713 --> 00:02:12.277 We tackle these topics through songs, 00:02:12.301 --> 00:02:14.220 not unlike the one you just heard, 00:02:14.244 --> 00:02:16.912 simple definitions and metaphors. 00:02:16.936 --> 00:02:20.856 We approach these ideas, to steal a phrase from an old professor of mine, 00:02:20.880 --> 00:02:22.976 from "under the doorknob" -- 00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:24.724 getting down to toddler height 00:02:24.748 --> 00:02:29.240 and looking up at the great big world through their tiny little eyes, 00:02:29.728 --> 00:02:34.276 taking these seemingly complex ideas and simplifying them -- 00:02:34.300 --> 00:02:35.535 not dumbing them down, 00:02:35.559 --> 00:02:37.967 but homing in on the core concept. 00:02:38.394 --> 00:02:41.918 Gender is about how we feel and how we express ourselves. 00:02:41.942 --> 00:02:45.366 Sexuality is about love and gender and family, 00:02:45.390 --> 00:02:46.821 not about sex. 00:02:46.845 --> 00:02:49.298 And these are all ideas children can grasp. 00:02:49.758 --> 00:02:51.852 In one of my earliest episodes about gender, 00:02:51.876 --> 00:02:53.787 I used the idea of pronouns 00:02:53.811 --> 00:02:56.930 to underscore the definition and introduce gender-neutral pronouns 00:02:56.954 --> 00:02:58.127 like "they" and "them." 00:02:58.463 --> 00:03:01.263 I encourage children to think about their own pronouns 00:03:01.287 --> 00:03:03.811 and to ask others for theirs. 00:03:04.270 --> 00:03:07.033 In later episodes, I build on this foundation 00:03:07.057 --> 00:03:11.382 and introduce big fancy words like "nonbinary" and "transgender." 00:03:12.020 --> 00:03:14.138 I get emails from viewers in their 20s 00:03:14.162 --> 00:03:18.978 who use my videos to explain nonbinary gender to their grandparents. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:20.573 --> 00:03:25.772 But, I get one comment over and over again: 00:03:26.858 --> 00:03:28.959 "Let kids be kids." NOTE Paragraph 00:03:30.319 --> 00:03:32.946 Well, that's a nice sentiment and all, 00:03:32.970 --> 00:03:37.883 but only if it actually includes all kids. 00:03:39.495 --> 00:03:41.408 Just a few weeks ago, 00:03:41.432 --> 00:03:44.258 a 15-year-old in Huntsville, Alabama 00:03:44.282 --> 00:03:47.765 died by suicide after being bullied for being gay. 00:03:48.893 --> 00:03:53.344 In 2018, it was a seven-year-old 00:03:53.368 --> 00:03:54.856 in Denver, Colorado. 00:03:56.192 --> 00:03:59.743 There have been and will be many more. 00:04:00.869 --> 00:04:02.612 Lesbian, gay and bisexual teens 00:04:02.636 --> 00:04:05.966 are more than three times more likely to attempt suicide 00:04:05.990 --> 00:04:07.804 than their heterosexual peers, 00:04:07.828 --> 00:04:12.403 and transgender teens are almost six times more likely. 00:04:13.283 --> 00:04:16.388 According to one study, roughly one third of homeless youth 00:04:16.412 --> 00:04:19.841 identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or questioning, 00:04:19.865 --> 00:04:24.134 and about four percent of homeless youth identify as transgender, 00:04:24.158 --> 00:04:28.328 compared with one percent of the general youth population surveyed. 00:04:29.637 --> 00:04:32.185 According to the Human Rights Campaign, 00:04:32.209 --> 00:04:37.819 there have been 128 killings of trans people 00:04:37.843 --> 00:04:41.389 in 87 cities across 32 states 00:04:41.413 --> 00:04:43.029 since 2013. 00:04:43.053 --> 00:04:46.456 And those are the only the reported cases. 00:04:47.613 --> 00:04:52.453 And 80 percent of those killings were of trans women of color. 00:04:54.082 --> 00:04:58.179 The queer situation is bleak, 00:04:58.203 --> 00:04:59.409 to say the least. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:00.601 --> 00:05:02.646 The YouTube comments on my videos 00:05:02.670 --> 00:05:05.026 are not much better. 00:05:05.822 --> 00:05:07.400 I'm used to the harassment. 00:05:07.424 --> 00:05:10.414 I get messages daily telling me I'm a pedophile 00:05:10.438 --> 00:05:14.362 and that I should kill myself in a number of increasingly creative ways. 00:05:14.917 --> 00:05:17.440 I once had to put the word "truck" on my block list 00:05:17.464 --> 00:05:20.431 because someone wanted me to get run over by a truck. 00:05:20.455 --> 00:05:22.524 "Shower" and "oven" are in there, too, 00:05:22.548 --> 00:05:27.011 for the less creative and more disturbing Holocaust reference. 00:05:27.656 --> 00:05:30.393 When neo-Nazis marched in Charlottesville, 00:05:30.417 --> 00:05:32.397 I was unsurprised to learn 00:05:32.421 --> 00:05:36.056 that the creator of a violent Reddit meme about one of my episodes 00:05:36.080 --> 00:05:38.983 was in the tiki torch crowd. 00:05:40.074 --> 00:05:43.519 This barrage of negativity is what we're up against: 00:05:43.543 --> 00:05:47.304 the crushing statistics, the violence, the mental health risks, 00:05:47.328 --> 00:05:52.201 the well-meaning but flawed response my parents gave me when I came out, 00:05:52.225 --> 00:05:54.446 that they didn't want me to have a harder life. 00:05:55.683 --> 00:05:57.248 That's what we're up against. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:58.589 --> 00:06:00.101 But in the face of all that, 00:06:01.654 --> 00:06:03.450 I choose joy. 00:06:04.147 --> 00:06:07.669 I choose rainbows and unicorns and glitter, 00:06:07.693 --> 00:06:12.785 and I sing that it's OK to be gay with my childhood stuffed teddy bear. 00:06:14.079 --> 00:06:15.476 I make queer media for kids 00:06:15.500 --> 00:06:18.717 because I wish I had this when I was their age. 00:06:19.511 --> 00:06:22.978 I make it so others don't have to struggle through what I did, 00:06:23.002 --> 00:06:24.611 not understanding my identity 00:06:24.635 --> 00:06:28.476 because I didn't have any exposure to who I could be. 00:06:29.208 --> 00:06:33.264 I teach and spread this message through joy and positivity 00:06:33.288 --> 00:06:36.449 instead of framing it around the hardships of queer life. 00:06:36.931 --> 00:06:39.356 I want kids to grow up and into themselves 00:06:39.380 --> 00:06:42.849 with pride for who they are and who they can be, 00:06:42.873 --> 00:06:46.665 no matter who they love or what they wear or what pronouns they use. 00:06:46.689 --> 00:06:49.946 And I want them to love others for their differences, 00:06:50.679 --> 00:06:52.066 not in spite of them. 00:06:53.387 --> 00:06:56.816 I think fostering this pride and empathy 00:06:56.840 --> 00:07:01.269 will make the world a kinder and more equal place 00:07:01.293 --> 00:07:05.840 and combat the bigotry and hate that festers in our world. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:08.154 --> 00:07:12.633 So, talk to a kid about gender. 00:07:13.174 --> 00:07:15.435 Talk to a kid about sexuality. 00:07:15.459 --> 00:07:17.220 Teach them about consent. 00:07:17.244 --> 00:07:20.320 Tell them it is OK for boys to wear dresses 00:07:20.344 --> 00:07:22.773 and for girls to speak up. 00:07:23.499 --> 00:07:27.257 Let's spread radical queer joy. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:28.558 --> 00:07:29.728 Thank you. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:29.752 --> 00:07:32.704 (Applause)