Recep İvedik 1 Full İzle

Recep İvedik sokakta bulduğu bir cüzdanın Antalyalı çok önemli bir iş adamına ait olduğunu öğrenince güneye doğru yola koyulur. Yol boyunca birbirinden komik sürprizlerle karşılaşan Recep sonunda Antalya'ya varır ve cüzdanı turizmci Muhsin Bey'e teslim eder. Muhsin Bey ona para ile otelinde kalmasını teklif eder. Recep bunu kabul etmez ve tam giderken, çocukluk aşkı Sibel'i görür ona kendini beğendirmeye çalışır. Ancak Sibel, onu tanımaz. Bunun üzerine Recep otelde kalmayı kabul eder. Recep otelde Sibel'e yaranmaya çalşırken birbirinden komik olaylar yaşar. Güngörenden çıkma olaylı adamdır.

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Recep ivedik.

Tell me, why do you avoid
the alcohol test?

Plus, you got out of the car
and harrassed the officers.

Sir, I'm a young man.

That night when I saw...

...something white approaching
at waist level...

...and someone commanded
"Blow it."...

Allright. Cut it out, you loofe.

Take your things and get lost.

Don't you ever show your
face again. Move it.

Yes, sir.

- Hi. Are you the safe
custody guy? - Yes.

The police chief sent me.
I'll take these and leave.

Mobile phone. Belt.

Window crank.

- What's this?
- These are marbles.

They have emotional value
for me.

- Uncle, please buy one.
- Whoa! Why do you scare...

- why do you frighten me?
- Please, buy one.

Got no money.
Get lost.

- Please, buy one.
- Boy...

Hey! Dude!

Hey!

Hold it there.
Give it to me.

- I found it.
- How's that?

What are you gonna do with it?

You don't pay any rent and tax.

What are you going to do?

Piss off!

Fuck off!

Dear viewers,
I wish you all a nice day...

...from the beaches
of Antalya.

The beaches are full with
beautiful Russians.

Salih! Put two beers
in the basket.

I'll take them
on the way back up.

I'll take them here.

Get inside, you drunkard.

Listen to me, woman.
Don't talk shit.

You know what happened last time
when I pulled the rope.

Don't piss me off.

It's just two beers.
What are neighbors for?

- Scum!
- You fart!

Redneck! Orangutan!

Antalya is swarming with Russians.

Well well well.
If they are human...

...then I swear I'm an animal.

We're with Mr Muhsin, the owner
of Antalya Joy Nashira Hotels.

Being the highest tax payer
this year, what's your secret?

Being record holder is
like an award.

I owe this success to being fair,
honest and righteous.

There are very important
moral values for me.

Being fair, loyal and most
important, being honest.

When you're honest, all doors
open up in front of you.

Well put! Bravo!

I swear, you and I
are birds of same feather.

I'll bring you this myself.

I'll do anything for you.

Bravo! Salih, fix me
some food for the road.

Hi. I thought you have some
car problems and I stopped.

- Am I right?
- Yes. We were driving.

Suddenly the engine stopped.

We don't know anything
about engines.

Could you take a look at it?

I have to ask some questions
to find the problem.

Where did it break down exactly?

How fast does it accelerate
from 0 to 100 km/s?

Are the rims aluminum
or steel?

Seats fabric,
or fabric and leather?

Does the car have
ABS, ESR EBS?

I should know to apply
an appropriate therapy.

Can you tell me all the
standard features?

What has that
got to do with anything?

Shaddup!

Shaddup!

If you're that knowledgeable,
why didn't you fix it...

...instead of fluttering here
like a dove?

Beat it! Buzz off!

Start the engine.

Get in and start the engine.

Step back! Step back!

I don't trust you at all.
You're sneaky.

You're sneaky.

Start the engine.

I am!

Come on, start.

Could the battery be dead?

Get back in and don't
piss me off, you brat.

It's the battery.

Don't panic. I have a battery.

I'll give you that one.

Start the engine now.

Don't keep the car in gear!

Why are you driving me nuts?

Back off!

Never keep the car in gear!

You don't ever know the value!

Allright, anyone can make mistakes.

I'm Ok.

It worked.

Oh, my sweety.

That electric look in your eyes
will get your head crushed.

Buzz off.

Of you go.

Have a nice trip, sweeties.
Farewell.

Clear!

God, damn it.

Tozkoparan Road Service.

How can I be of help.

- Hello, road service.
-
Yes, sir.

I gave my battery to
two ladies to help them out.

They left. And what luck,
now my car won't run.

If you have given your battery
the car won't run.

What do you mean
it won't run without battery?

Does this car not run on gas?

Is this an electric car?

- What a shitty car is this?
-
Sir, please listen.

Listen. Are you recording this
for customer satisfaction?

Then damn all the technical staff
who listen to this.

I'll knock your head in.

Chill out. What's up?

Hi. My car broke down.

Where are you guys heading for?

- We're off to Isparta.
- And I'm off to Antalya, dude.

- Let's off together.
- Hello, guys.

Yo twin jerks.
I'll rip your tongue out.

Laugh at your own asses.
Why do you laugh like a horse?

Why do you laugh?
What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

Don't you have parents?
What's this filth?

It stinks like a stable,
it stinks like between the legs.

Did you eat sheep, nibble
on goats? What's this filth?

I'm traveling to Antalya
with four bacons.

This is absurd, outrageous!

Your asses are all
covered with moss!

Open a window!

It stinks like between the legs here!

Why on earth did I join you?

Why... Can I ask
why you're staring at me?

Why do you stare?

What's up?
Why do you stare?

Why do you stare?

Folks... I also like that guy...

...who walks on Taksim Square.
Drinks two beers and...

...walks around like me.
Teoman.

His lifestyle is just like mine.

I saw someone servicing your
mom... in the market.

You wouldn't sink
in the sea, you know.

- Why, am I the Titanic?
- No, you look like a cork.

Do you dig my sense of humor?

For example, that light there...

I watch Discovery Channel.

There's that pervert.

Looks around like that.

The skinny one, with bulging eyes
white ass...

Everyone looks the other way
and he goes like that...

Got it?

Was like a movie.

I didn't understand the animals.
First I dug into myself.

I tried to understand myself
but in vain.

That dude is a mile high.

Guys, I'm starting to feel hunger
and my gustral juices flow up.

- Do you have the same?
- Nope.

Got any chocolate?

Look around a little,
maybe you have some.

Yes or no?
Yes or no?

Let's stop somewhere
so that I can get some chocolate.

They are hilarious.

I've never seen such a bunch
ofjerks.

- Hello, brothers.
- Welcome.

You got any chocolate?

No. We got beans.
Wanna eat?

I could eat even you,
Super Mario.

Get some beans.

What is that?

Not so fast, mate.

Are you a member of the
Karaambar Truckers community?

Karaambar?

I'm not. So what?

- Then you can't eat those beans.
- Why is that?

Only our members can take
benefit of our facilities.

I'm not taking benefit of anything.
I just want beans.

Serving beans is the most important
privilege for our members.

Jeez, I've never seen
a place like this.

I want to be a member too.

Prepare the backside. I'm going
to make a new member entry.

Watch out or a new member
may enter you.

Behold, two valiant stepped up
on the ground...

Both are equally renowned.

Come on, wrestlers.

Wheels roll with
prayers and tears...

...surely shall win,
one of these two bears.

Recep leads by one.

Now that we have a draw.

It's time for the final crawl.
Mahmut.

Recep, now take your chance.

Blow over the bottle
with your flatulence.

Here you are, brother Recep.
Your member card.

From now on you can always
get beans at Karaambar.

God bless you, chief.

Next week we're opening a gym
in the backyard.

Don't forget my movie house.

We'll do that too. Next year.

Bravo.

I've got a long way to go.
Is anybody headed for Antalya?

I'm going that way.
Let me give you a lift.

It will be a pleasure.
Good bye.

Life fucks!

- Brakes are for wimps!
- Move on brother Recep.

I only complete with the airlines.

Long live, brother Recep.

Roads end, sorrow prevails.

If I say I'll be back
I willl.

Thank you, bro.

Otherwise I'd end up stranded here.

There are all kinds of bastards
crooks, rapists...

...killers, perverts.

I'm glad you joined me.
The road is long.

It's hard being alone.

I'm glad too if it's fine for you.

- Are you single?
- Yes. And you?

I'm single too.

We share the same faith, huh?

You know, no woman is
tough like us.

You got a point.
They're all fake and lies.

They don't like me. I never met
a woman that got along with me.

If I were a woman, I'd let you
take me at first sight.

I'd let you take me too.

If I were a women
you'd be the first to take me.

Usually you'd find women
pictures here...

...but you have all black males.

Are you into body building?

No, I'm into body builders.

They're so wet, hot...

...all sweaty.

Screw you, don't piss me off.
Pull over here.

- Pull over!
- You got me wrong there.

I'll stick that gear lever
up your ass.

I just wanted to have a decent
conversation and you're after my ass.

- You misunderstood me.
- Fatsy! Sexmaniac!

- I'll get out here.
- Allright, bro. Fine.

You're acting stupid.

Fuck off. Shame on you.

Fuck off and
don't drive me nuts!

Is Ankara this way?

You're completely wrong,
it's this way. Turn around.

Come this way.
I'll come with you.

Just go...

Stop right there.

Turn around here.

Drive 700-800 km straight on
and you'll get to Ankara.

- Damn you!
- Stop cursing early in the morning.

Oh my.

Look here, Rapunzel.
Is Muhsin here?

You mean Mr Muhsin?
What's this about?

It's private. I have something
that belongs to him.

I see. Do you have
an appointment?

I don't like appointments.
I prefer living spontaneous.

A procrastinated, complaining life.

What's that got to do
with anything?

Go find me Muhsin.
Don't trouble me.

- Where do you come from?
- From home.

I fought wolves, wrestled
with truckers.

I'll handle it, Aysegül.
Yes, sir. What's this about?

God almighty.

You take turns in asking
what's what.

You make such a fuss! I found
Mr. Muhsirs wallet...

...and brought it here
from Istanbul.

Give it to me and
I'll hand it over to him.

- Yeah, right!
- What's going on?

Bullshit! Does this look
like the eye of a dupe?

- What do you mean?
- You're going to pocket it, right?

You're going to grab it, huh?
You hyena.

Swipe it all, huh?
You snake.

You're completely wrong, sir.

You managers are all
flattering dogs.

You're all brown-nosers
when the boss is around.

When they leave,
you're the king.

What are you saying?

Go get me Muhsin. Move it.

I'll give it to him in person.

Allright. Calm down.
Can I get an ID?

Please, wait here.

I'll be over there.

Sir, what happened here?

Two kids came along. One from
here, the other from over there.

They started to fight,
came all the way here.

One of them hit the other
in the head.

I caught him in the air and
kicked him that way.

Then I slapped the other one.
He rolled over to the hall.

The vase began to sway.
I couldn't catch it.

Whatever. Mr. Muhsin is waiting
for you. I'll handle this. Follow me.

Get this cleaned.

- Get it all cleaned up.
- I'll handle it sir.

What a fine coffee.

- Enjoy.
- Muhsin, are you a kid?

You can't take care
of your wallet.

Those rocker guys
you call irresponsible...

...have their wallets all chained up,
but you lose it.

What an absurd, unruly,
silly life.

What a disoriented,
bohemian life style.

Come to your senses.
This is no way to live.

I can't agree more. It's impossible
to find honest people like you.

- Isn't that so, Erim?
- Yes, sir. You're right.

I have to return your favor.
I'd like to repay.

- If you would accept this.
- Are you giving charity?

- By no means.
- I was just being humane.

- There's still humane people around.
- But Mr. Recep...

Shaddup!

In that case, let's accommodate you
one week in our hotel for free.

That's uneard of!
I despise such offers.

- You could at least...
- Shaddup... dawg!

Brown noser!

Loser!

Get smart.

Well, I'm off.

I'll have to walk 700-800 km.

Here's my card with my number.

You can call me whenever you want.

- Beware, I'll call whenever I want.
- Whenever you want.

- Whenever I need something.
- Whenever you want.

- You're just a phone call away.
- It's fine.

Muhsin Basaran. My man.

- Good bye.
- Good bye.

- Yo. Got any smoke?
- No, I don't smoke.

Do hot babes come
to this hotel?

- Of course.
- From where?

Russia, Germany, Holland.
Very hot chicks.

Look, a tourjust came in.

Are you perverse?

It's the first time
I see such a group.

What's that on your leg?

That's my birth mark.

My mom's gift.
I have it since I was very little.

Looks like shit stain.

Sibel, move it.

Hello. Dear Muhsin.
Listen mate.

I've decided to rethink
your hotel offer.

- Your name.
- I'm answering. Recep ivedik.

Welcome. Mr. Muhsin has placed
you into one of our best suits.

Thanks.

Our hotel is all inclusive.
So let me put that on.

What you mean "put on"?

I'll put it on myself.

Why are you coming along? I think
I can find my room on my own.

That's for sure but I have to
show you around your room.

- Why?
- Manager's orders.

All rooms are numbered.
Do I look like an idiot?

- Won't I find my room?
- It's just procedures.

Here's our room.

- Hold it there. Step over.
- Why?

I don't let any other filthy male
enter my privacy.

- I was just going to show the room...
- Show what?

Is that an 80 m2 room? It's just
a 20 m2 room, a sofa bed...

...a TV and coffee table.
What's to show?

You just want to go Indra Gandhi
on me, you snake.

I won't fall for that.

Allright, sir. Here you are.

Come over here.
Attention!

Where can I get in touch with
the group that came in today?

- At dinner.
- When?

- 8 o'clock.
- Dismissed!

Beat it!

Get out of my way.
I'm exhausted.

These bags are heavy
like corpses.

The bellboy was going to carry
them but you didn't let him.

Just to avoid a tip...

Money is the most valuable thing.
You don't squander it away.

Phone. Phone.

Just answer it!

To hell with you.
You thickhead.

Hello. Ahmet.
Sibel?

She's in the shower, dear.
She's tired from the trip.

Don't worry. I'll make you both
go along again.

Of course, my child. May God
never separate lovers.

Good evening, my child.

Good evening, my child.

Open your ears.
He's the best you can find.

- His family is noble.
- You mean rich.

Of course. And he's
very generous.

You had a little fight and he sent
us to a five star hotel.

You should be grateful
that you're lucky like this.

Fuck such luck.

You brute. You're not
ashamed at all, are you?

I don't want to hear
such things again.

You build a five-star resort but
the bottles are like my dick.

What good will that do?

It's my door,
so all is fine.

- Pervert.
- Shaddup!

You're the pervert.
Fatso. Get lost!

All our guests are elite like you.

There are only families here,
it's very suited for children.

There's no electrical phase
in the room. Where's that bellboy?

Where's the bellboy?

Fadl, deal with it. Let me
take you to your room.

What's this?
What's going on?

It's the new trend.
Idiot, I got locked out.

You can't walk around like this.
I'll take care of it.

Come along.

You were supposed to show me
the room but didn't do a shit.

If it's that simple, why did you
make me go downstairs...

...covered in foam, and
disgrace myself?

You didn't let me into your room.
I would've told you.

When you put your card in here
you get power.

I'll never set foot in that
damn tub again.

I'll wipe off my armpits and my
testisterones every other week.

That's it.

- What time is it?
- 11 pm.

- So I missed dinner, huh?
- Yes.

I like the light in your eyes.
Let's have a beer with you.

I'd like to but the manager
would get mad.

Don't get me started
with your manager.

Don't get me started
with your manager.

I'm aggressive,
I have complexes.

I'll beat the shit out
of your manager.

Sit down. All sort of shit
happened to me cause of you.

- Why is that?
- What do you mean "why"?

I got out because of the card thing,
thinking the room had no power.

Just when I was taking care of it
I got locked out.

A fat, repulsive woman came along
and called me pervert.

There's one in your neighborhood
just like her. I hate her too.

I'm aggressive
and have complexes.

When I lower my shields
I'm as tame as a cat.

- You mean...?
- You have to be kind to me.

It's a very important day for
our hotel. We have to be very alert.

What's with that shirt? Button up.
You should set an example.

Where have you been?

I was with Mr. Recep.

That's great. From now on
you're responsible of him.

You'll follow his every step.
If he causes problems...

...l'll hold you responsible.
- Yes, sir.

This is very important.

It's very important for the
tranquility of our hotel.

- Yes, sir.
- Great. Button up.

Yes, people...

Florance projection.
Is this out of order too?

What are you doing, you oaf?

You closed the toilet. Do I have to
piss in my pants in a 5-star hotel?

It's not closed. We wrapped it
and wrote "for your protection."

Do you write everything you do?

How dare you enter
my private room?

How can you violate
my privacy, lady?

You put up a "clean room" sign.

Give me that.

- What does is say here?
- Clean my room.

- Does that mean "clean my room"?
- Yes.

- What does it say here?
- Do not disturb.

Than I'm all "do not disturb" to you.
Get lost.

You're all blown up.
Tie a cord around your ankle...

...and you could be sold
as a balloon to kids.

Buffalo!

Rhino-shaped, tempered,
curly Vampirella.

Distorted pirana.

Clean yourself
before cleaning up the room.

What do you think you're doing?
Are you insane?

- I was just...
- This is a 5-star hotel...

...in case you didn't notice.
- The hotel...

Shut up! What are you
babbling about?

Get over here.

- I'm sorry.
- Boy, what are you doing?

Are you insane?
Take a load of him.

Looks like he was born
5 minutes before monkeys.

What are you doing at the pool?
Just go to the trough.

And wet yourself over there.
Move it.

Brother Recep, what happened?

- There was this bee and... - You don't
walk around the pool like that.

I wasrt. There was this
bee around my head.

Come along.

- How do I look?
- Great.

- Take a good look.
- Cool. This is it.

- Will you keep it on?
- Yes.

- Let me take off the alarm.
- Why?

Cause the alarms beep.

Were the alarms on these
when I bought them or not?

- Yes, sir...
- On them or not?

These belong to me then and
nobody can say anything.

- But sir...
- The alarms are mine.

Allright, damn.
Then keep them.

Look here. You ugly duckling.
Calimero.

What do you mean "damn"?
I'll knock your head in.

It's alright, bro.

Everything's fine. Chill.

Let's get out.
I'm getting irritated here. Out.

Put these on Mr. Muhsirs tab.
He's VIP.

- Plus, I'm VIP.
- What's going on?

I'll leave a mark of my slippers
on your leg like that.

- Come bro.
- What a crackpot.

It's over, alright.

Do you hear it?

You see?

That's what I'm trying to say.
I love the sound of the alarm.

Keep laughing like this.

- Let me take that too.
- What are you going to do with that?

I thought if something's missing
she might get fired.

Let's go.

7-5.

Bravo! Hello,
I want to play too.

- You again?
- Yes, me.

I'm a guest here too. It's my right
to play beach volley.

Not in our team.
Go play somewhere else.

I'll play in the opposing team then.

Dude, get out.

- Get lost!
- I'm playing here.

Shaddup. Get lost.

Watch out for your positions.

Let's take good positions
and beat them good.

Hit it.

Mr. Recep's team has won.
Here.

Why the long face
because you lost?

What long face?

We may be opponents on the field
but outside we're friends.

- We're no friends.
- I wanted to give you something.

What?

- This. - what am I supposed
to do with that?

- I won this for you.
- Don't want it.

- Will you please take it?
- I won't.

Please.

We won!

What's up here?
Is this a cookhouse?

- It's the open buffet line.
- What's open buffet?

You get in line and get as much
of any food you like.

Can I eat here as much as I like
from any food?

Of course.

- Are you sure?
- I am.

- I push the limits.
- Do so.

I don't know any limits.
That's my motto.

- So it is.
- Do we have a deal?

Deal.

Sister, don't grab food
as if it were yours.

How many dolma are still there?

Are you starved or depraved?
Why do you eat dolma?

Beat it!

What are you doing, Mr. Recep?
This is outrageous.

What's this? Please,
go to the other side.

What are you doing?
Is this a way to eat?

- You said open buffet.
- Yes, but...

You said I can eat
as much as I want.

- Yes, but...
- why do you weasel out?

Not at all. What weasel...

- Shut up!
- Mr. Recep.

Shut up!

Dear guests, please
get food from the other side.

Please. To the other side.
Guys, take all these.

What are you doing?
This is no way to eat.

What are you doing?

Get lost!

I don't understand why they
let in such animals.

What's not to understand?
They got the big money.

We had an uncle Recep in the hood,
looked like an animal.

He sat cross-legged
in the Mercedes.

Hello, bon appetit.
May I sit down? Thanks a lot.

I apologized for my stupidity
earlier on with a cup...

...but I also got a döner plate
prepared for you. Enjoy.

Thanks, I don't eat meat.

It's delicious. Made of veal rump
and neck fat.

I'm about to pass out.

Why do you insist?
She said she wouldn't eat.

Why do you keep stalking us
all day? I've had enough of you.

I'll complain about you.
Caveman.

I do sports and aerobics
every morning...

...eat healthy. I suggest
you do the same.

I'll leave this anYWay. Maybe
the lady will eat it.

Her stomach has several layers
and her second chin...

...looks like a pelican beak. It's obvious
that she's a heavy eater.

- Bon appetite.
- Monster.

I want to add
"Nice to meet you."

Do I have any
sagging parts?

Yahya, you have to use 2 bottles.
You can't fool the tourists like this.

Yes. Smile while you're at it.
Smile.

- Hello, mate.
- Welcome, Mr. Recep.

I've decided to adopt a healthy
lifestyle.

I want to attend aerobics.
When does it start?

You and aerobics?
It's at 8 am.

Since I have sleep acnea,
I can't wake up that early.

- Could it be a little later?
- No way.

But I can wake you up at 8.

Do you have any aerobic wear?

I bought them recently, they
don't stink or anything.

You need a special outfit
for aerobics.

- I can get it for you.
- Swear?

- Sure. Don't worry.
- Really?

- I'll get them.
- Would you swear?

- Why should I?
- Promise me.

- Promise.
- Will you really send me an outfit?

- I will.
- And if you don't...

- Goodness gracious.
- And if you don't...

And if you don't...

- If you don't you're a fag.
- But why?

- If you don't, you're a fag.
- Allright.

- Are you going to send them?
- Yes.

Take a scout's oath
and I'll believe you.

How do you do that?
Something like that.

Yes. Are you satisfied now?

- God bless you.
- Don't mention it.

3. 4.

Yes, ladies.
Now lay down on your side.

Up and down.

Hello, teacher.

Yes, sir. Please sit.

Good morning, ladies. Let's
burn our calories...

...and get rid of our
fatsy tummies. Thanks.

With this move we work our
abs and intestinal muscles.

Up and down.

Unbelievable! How monstrous
and stupid are you?

We're working on bowel movements
together with out instructor.

I ate too much döner and now
have gastro-induction.

And it found it's way out.
What's to do?

I can't care less. You just
ruined my exercise.

Take a look at those tights.
Gross!

Helly, Mrs. Sibel. Today
at 3 pm. Don't forget.

- I won't.
- He wears tights too.

Why don't you condemn him?

Please, these are no tights.
This is scuba diving wear.

Bullshit. Scuba diving wear, huh?
It slides in, too. Doesrt it.

Scuba wear was invented by
French sailor Marcell Ducell in 1781.

Shaddup!

Marcell Ducell, my ass.
Did I ask?

This is common culture. And you're
wearing a lady's outfit.

You bought it wrong.

I didn't buy these.

That lousy manager
gave them to me.

What?

What are you laughing at?
What? Is it funny?

This is aerobic wear.
Is it any funny?

I don't speak no Turkish.
I speak German.

Get lost.

Psycho duo.

This cove is called
"the aquarium."