Mindfulness and Kindfulness | Ajahn Brahm | 16 April 2021
-
0:00 - 0:06So anyway for the talk
just to warm people up. -
0:06 - 0:13They're one of the good friends,
disciples, followers from Canada. -
0:13 - 0:17I'm sure is listening
and if not listening now -
0:17 - 0:20will get hold of the talk later on.
-
0:20 - 0:25They're very, very devoted disciples,
very wonderful people too. -
0:25 - 0:29But they asked me that they've been
trying to encourage some of their friends -
0:29 - 0:32to do some meditation.
-
0:32 - 0:38But then some of the friends equate
meditation to mindfulness practice. -
0:38 - 0:43And sometimes you see
the people who practice mindfulness -
0:43 - 0:46that sometimes they get
into difficulties and problems. -
0:46 - 0:54Sometimes it's just like people who
have Covid 19 vaccine. -
0:54 - 1:00Sometimes they have problems
only it's a tiny, tiny sort of proportion. -
1:00 - 1:02I think somebody said that
-
1:02 - 1:06you've got more chance of
having a problem with a Covid vaccine. -
1:06 - 1:10The chances of that are just more remote
than winning the Lotto. -
1:10 - 1:12It's just like people surfing,
-
1:12 - 1:16some people who surf on
Western Australia get eaten by sharks -
1:16 - 1:20that doesn't really stop people surfing.
-
1:20 - 1:23But even with mindfulness practice
-
1:23 - 1:26sometimes there's some problems there.
-
1:26 - 1:32You know, it doesn't need to be.
It's much safer than surfing, -
1:32 - 1:36but it's also much more healthy.
-
1:36 - 1:41And one of the reasons why
any problems exist in the first place -
1:41 - 1:49is that this thing called mindfulness
has been just almost like titrated -
1:49 - 1:53and just taken away from its context
in other forms of Buddhist practice. -
1:53 - 1:56And when it's by itself it misses out
-
1:56 - 2:01on some of the wonderful safeguards
which are always there. -
2:01 - 2:10And to make a point, when I first went
to teach meditation overseas. -
2:10 - 2:19I think it was over in Malaysia.
Malaysia is a Muslim country, -
2:19 - 2:22there's a lot of Buddhists
over in Malaysia as well. -
2:22 - 2:28And over there they were very keen
on doing all the parts of Buddhism -
2:28 - 2:31especially meditation practice.
-
2:31 - 2:36when I talked to them
I was stunned, I was surprised! -
2:36 - 2:38Because they were complaining
-
2:38 - 2:42that meditation gave you
"Samadhi headache!" -
2:42 - 2:46They called samadhi means like,
well it actually meant over there, -
2:46 - 2:48concentration.
It really means stillness. -
2:48 - 2:49"Meditation headache?"
-
2:49 - 2:56I couldn't understand that. I've been
meditating for years by that time. -
2:56 - 2:59How many years of, crikey!
About 30 years probably. -
2:59 - 3:02I never had a headache by meditating.
-
3:02 - 3:06Actually I use meditation
to overcome headaches. -
3:06 - 3:15I use meditation overcome headaches,
indigestion, scrub typhus fever. -
3:15 - 3:18That's a pretty big one.
And all these other stuff, -
3:18 - 3:24even injuries, bruises
and stuff if we fell over. -
3:24 - 3:26And it's amazing I thought,
-
3:26 - 3:30meditation is there to help your health
-
3:30 - 3:33not to create more headaches
and problems. -
3:33 - 3:36What on earth have you been doing?
-
3:36 - 3:40And of course, it was a meditation
which was being done, -
3:40 - 3:45which has a lot of problems
if you compared it with -
3:45 - 3:48traditional Buddhist meditation.
-
3:49 - 3:52The meditators there were
struggling and striving -
3:52 - 3:55and trying to get something.
-
3:55 - 3:57And you find whenever
you want something, -
3:57 - 4:00try to get something
and strive something; -
4:00 - 4:04I'm going to do this.
I'm going to make sure it works. -
4:04 - 4:05I'm going to be ...
-
4:05 - 4:07My own story...
-
4:09 - 4:11I'm still a lay person,
-
4:11 - 4:16we started doing some meditation
and it was the Vesak time. -
4:16 - 4:22This was celebrating the birth
enlightenment, passing away of the Buddha. -
4:22 - 4:27And when I heard the story
of the Buddha's enlightenment. -
4:27 - 4:32What I heard was that
the Buddha sat under the Bodhi tree -
4:32 - 4:37and he made a resolution,
a determination. -
4:37 - 4:40"I'm gonna get enlightened.
-
4:42 - 4:45Right here, I'm not gonna move.
-
4:45 - 4:52Even if my blood dries up
and my bones turn to dust. -
4:52 - 4:56I'm not gonna move from this seat until
-
4:56 - 5:00... until I get full enlightenment".
-
5:01 - 5:05Being stupid at the time I thought that
was really cool. -
5:06 - 5:08So you know what I did?
-
5:08 - 5:13I went back to my room,
I put a little couple of cushions out, -
5:14 - 5:15(Laugh)
-
5:16 - 5:22stupid young man,
I was about 18 at the time (laugh) -
5:22 - 5:24You know, 18 year old men.
-
5:24 - 5:26Any 18 year old man here?
-
5:27 - 5:28Don't admit it. Don't admit it.
-
5:28 - 5:31Come on, you're not 18
you're much older than that. -
5:31 - 5:33I said 18 not 80.
-
5:38 - 5:45So I sat down on that cushion
I made a resolution. -
5:46 - 5:48I'm as good as the Buddha.
-
5:48 - 5:51That was in India,
he didn't have an education. -
5:51 - 5:55I thought like that, really arrogant.
-
5:55 - 5:59You know my maximum amount of time
I could meditate for at 18 -
5:59 - 6:03was about 20 minutes
and that was pushing it, -
6:03 - 6:0725 sometimes on a good meditation.
-
6:07 - 6:09So I sat down and said forget about
all of that, -
6:09 - 6:14I'm not going to move.
Now I've got to get enlightened, -
6:14 - 6:19I want to get it out of the way, I've got
many other things to do in my life. -
6:19 - 6:22I sat there and made the resolution
I'm not gonna move -
6:22 - 6:25until I get perfect enlightenment or
-
6:25 - 6:28you always gotta have
an alternative or -
6:28 - 6:32my blood dries up and
bones turn to dust. -
6:32 - 6:35I actually made that resolution,
honestly I did. -
6:35 - 6:39It was hell. After half an hour
-
6:39 - 6:44I meant to get to half an hour, my bones
were just ... they were burning in pain, -
6:44 - 6:47my back was aching,
every muscle was on fire. -
6:47 - 6:50No, I'm not enlightened yet, carry on.
-
6:50 - 6:53[Laughter]
-
6:53 - 6:56You know, I got about
between 35 and 40 minutes. -
6:56 - 6:59I couldn't stand it any longer
-
6:59 - 7:03and I opened my eyes and
you know I wasn't enlightened! -
7:03 - 7:10And my blood hadn’t dried up yet,
my bones hadn't turned to dust. -
7:10 - 7:13I was really stupid!
-
7:13 - 7:19But later on, instead of just running
because of arrogance -
7:19 - 7:24and meditating just because
I thought I was so good. -
7:24 - 7:29I had a marvelous teacher
like an Ajahn Chah. -
7:29 - 7:32And he kept on saying
not just once but -
7:32 - 7:36many, many, many, many times.
Probably a thousand times -
7:36 - 7:39in the nine years
which I meditated with him. -
7:39 - 7:45He said you meditate to let go of things
not to gain things. -
7:46 - 7:51And I didn't understand a word of it
when I first heard it. -
7:51 - 7:55I realized that was some of the most
wonderful advice he could ever give. -
7:55 - 7:57You want to get something,
-
7:57 - 8:03something you want to aim for,
to strive for, you get very tense. -
8:03 - 8:07But if you want to let go of things
you get lighter and lighter -
8:07 - 8:11and the path becomes
so easy and peaceful. -
8:11 - 8:14And that becomes another reason why
many people, -
8:14 - 8:21if they don't understand
what meditation or mindfulness is, -
8:21 - 8:23they want to get something,
-
8:23 - 8:26always be the tension,
the tightness there. -
8:26 - 8:28And a lot of times you can't get
-
8:28 - 8:33what you think you want
or you think you need. -
8:33 - 8:35You don't need very much.
-
8:35 - 8:37But every time we think we need this
-
8:37 - 8:42and when you're fighting
you'd always get injuries, -
8:42 - 8:45or sometimes they call
collateral damage. -
8:45 - 8:50And that's actually what happens when
people are just mindful. -
8:50 - 8:57So as soldiers they can shoot
more accurately and kill people. -
8:57 - 9:04When they're mindful so they can win
more arguments in debates. -
9:04 - 9:06When they're mindful
so they can make more money -
9:06 - 9:09on the stock market or whatever.
-
9:09 - 9:11If you're trying to get something
-
9:11 - 9:16you'll find that's not really
Buddhist meditation, -
9:16 - 9:17it's not mindfulness.
-
9:17 - 9:22When you're trying to let go of things,
to simplify your life, -
9:22 - 9:25to make your life more peaceful,
more at ease. -
9:25 - 9:28We always know in spiritual life
you keep on saying -
9:28 - 9:30how much do you really need
-
9:30 - 9:34to be healthy, to be happy,
to have a wonderful life? -
9:34 - 9:36How much do you really need?
-
9:36 - 9:41If you want to know, next time you go to
Bodhinyana monastery, -
9:41 - 9:48go and ask to have a visit
to my home where I live. -
9:48 - 9:52Hands up now, how many of you
have actually been into my cave? -
9:52 - 9:58I've got to put my hand up as well cause
I've got to be honest I've been in there. -
9:58 - 9:59Is it big?
(Laughter) -
10:05 - 10:10It's big in peace.
It's big in freedom. -
10:10 - 10:15It's a tiny little cave and that's all
I need, I got a toilet around the back -
10:15 - 10:20but it's about three meters,
it's like a dome -
10:20 - 10:27three meters... no, three meters diameter
and that's semi dome. -
10:27 - 10:31And in that cave I've got a bed,
meditation cushion, -
10:31 - 10:39a blanket and water, a flashlight
and a clock, a little Buddha statue. -
10:39 - 10:43And I do have I must admit electricity
-
10:43 - 10:52that's just to light the way and
a...not bamboo, a cork floor. That's it. -
10:52 - 10:56You know it's really easy to clean,
-
10:57 - 11:01it doesn't take that long but
it's also the simplicity of it. -
11:01 - 11:04What do you need?
-
11:04 - 11:10So a lot of times even in life
when we simplify things -
11:10 - 11:14we find that life is much more peaceful.
-
11:14 - 11:20And even in meditation,
if you want to get things -
11:20 - 11:23then there's no end
of getting more things. -
11:23 - 11:25How many more things do you want?
-
11:25 - 11:27How rich do you want to be?
-
11:27 - 11:33Have you noticed really rich people,
they always have to keep on working? -
11:34 - 11:37You know Elon Musk,
he's got enough money now -
11:37 - 11:43he should be able to retire.
He has to work! -
11:43 - 11:46So how much money would you want?
-
11:46 - 11:51Apparently that somebody
won the lottery on Friday. -
11:51 - 11:53Anyone here?
-
11:55 - 11:59If it was you, now being that wealthy
is just really a burden, -
11:59 - 12:01it causes you so much suffering.
-
12:01 - 12:06I remember, I don't mind saying,
meeting this guy -
12:06 - 12:12he was the CEO of Tropicana resort and
lots of other businesses over in Malaysia -
12:12 - 12:19and he invited me to his house. No,
I can't say houses... mansion, huge thing. -
12:19 - 12:26But what really I...was really struck me
that going into his residence -
12:26 - 12:32there were like two guards
with machine guns at the gate, -
12:32 - 12:38it's like going into Buckingham palace
where they have these household guards. -
12:38 - 12:44And so, why do you need guards
with machine guns? -
12:44 - 12:49I've got no guards with machine guns
in front of my cave. (laughter) -
12:51 - 12:57Is because there's a lot of fear
when you have many things. -
12:57 - 13:01If you only have a few things or old
things you don't have to be afraid at all. -
13:01 - 13:04I learned that from my father,
strange enough, -
13:04 - 13:10because where he lived was
in a very small council flat in London, -
13:10 - 13:14like government sponsored housing
for the poor. -
13:14 - 13:17But it was very...
we had a very happy time there, -
13:17 - 13:22but often I just asked him
"why don't we lock the door when we go out -
13:22 - 13:24aren't you afraid of burglars?"
-
13:24 - 13:28You know what my father said, he said:
"No, I'm not afraid of burglars -
13:28 - 13:32in fact I'm quite hopeful
a burglar might come in -
13:32 - 13:36take pity on us and leave us something."
(Laughter) -
13:40 - 13:44So at least you didn't have
to worry about anything. -
13:44 - 13:48Not worrying about anything,
great peace and happiness, contentment. -
13:48 - 13:50So that's also one of the reasons
-
13:50 - 13:53when you're not worrying about
attaining things or losing...oh no -
13:53 - 13:57attaining, getting things
but you're more happy -
13:57 - 13:59with emptying out your mind.
-
13:59 - 14:03then actually you're meditating
in a proper way. -
14:03 - 14:08And where that comes from
if anybody wants to check me out, -
14:08 - 14:12that comes from the second factor
of the eightfold path, -
14:12 - 14:15meditation is a whole path
eightfold path. -
14:15 - 14:18Meditation ... the deep meditations
are the last factor. -
14:18 - 14:20Mindfulness is the seventh factor.
-
14:20 - 14:26The second factor is of the right ways
of what we call right motivation. -
14:26 - 14:29Ajahn Brahmali kept calling it intention
-
14:29 - 14:32but I prefer motivation,
where you're coming from, -
14:32 - 14:34not what you're trying to achieve.
-
14:34 - 14:38Because the right motivations are
three right motivations for meditation. -
14:38 - 14:41If you do your mindfulness practice
-
14:41 - 14:45with these three motivations
you're really safe. -
14:45 - 14:48The first motivation
is called nekkhamma. -
14:48 - 14:52It's a Pali word it means
letting go, renunciation, -
14:52 - 14:55giving up, simplifying.
-
14:55 - 14:58I knew that was... that's really Buddhist,
-
14:58 - 15:00we are supposed to live simple lives.
-
15:00 - 15:04Very few people live
simple lives these days. -
15:04 - 15:09But we really try as best we can
as monks and nuns -
15:09 - 15:15to live simple as we possibly can.
-
15:17 - 15:20It's really strange isn't it that
you know, sometimes I go off -
15:20 - 15:23I used to go overseas..
-
15:23 - 15:26I used to go overseas and sometimes you
know what would happen? -
15:26 - 15:31People buy you business class tickets,
honestly they did. -
15:31 - 15:38I did this ... what was it called,
a keynote address at conferences. -
15:38 - 15:47I used to go to conferences, a keynote
address at the 2018 I think it was -
15:47 - 15:52World Computer Conference
in Dejun, South Korea. -
15:52 - 15:56That was a really good gig,
-
15:56 - 16:00the World Computer Conference
-
16:00 - 16:05and I'm not just giving a small talk,
giving the keynote address. -
16:05 - 16:09That's after all these politicians
and dignitaries and stuff gave -
16:09 - 16:13and then I had to set the tone
of the conference. -
16:13 - 16:17And I did really well.
You know that's where they brought... -
16:17 - 16:21they offered this business class ticket
on Singapore airlines -
16:21 - 16:25all the way to South Korea and back,
nice hotel. -
16:25 - 16:29And they gave 2000$
to the Buddhist Society -
16:29 - 16:32just for a quarter of an hour's talk.
-
16:32 - 16:39So what we call a nice little earner
for our BSWA. (laugh) -
16:41 - 16:44But then you know
you go on business class -
16:44 - 16:48and they ask how much do you earn?
Nothing! -
16:48 - 16:53How much money have you got?
Zero. -
16:53 - 16:58What's a poor person doing
travelling on business class, -
16:58 - 17:01no money in the bank anywhere.
-
17:01 - 17:05So I like those like
contradictions in life -
17:05 - 17:08and what is a person who...
-
17:08 - 17:16I don't know much about computers,
do I? (laughter) -
17:16 - 17:19When anything goes wrong
you have to ask somebody else, -
17:19 - 17:23what's gone wrong?
-
17:24 - 17:29What are you doing dude?
Do the keynote address -
17:29 - 17:36in front of all these computer wizards?
They asked me that. -
17:36 - 17:39And I gave the answer
that in life -
17:39 - 17:45you don't have to know very much
to actually to innovate. -
17:45 - 17:49In fact the more you know,
the less you see. -
17:49 - 17:54And you're trained always to see things
in the same way. -
17:54 - 17:57A narrow course of mind.
-
17:57 - 18:02And as a monk you can actually
do all sorts of weird stuff, -
18:02 - 18:07like meditate and see things
in a different way. -
18:07 - 18:11To innovate
means being still, -
18:14 - 18:17letting everything go
and seeing things afresh. -
18:18 - 18:21And of course,
we all know in economies, -
18:21 - 18:25innovation is a key to success.
-
18:25 - 18:30Not doing things in the same old way
but doing things in a different way. -
18:30 - 18:35And look at this place I mean
Buddhist Society Western Australia. -
18:35 - 18:40As far as I know it's one of the biggest
Buddhist societies in the world. -
18:40 - 18:46It's because this is how we practice,
innovation, doing things differently. -
18:46 - 18:50But anyway back to mindfulness
when we learn how to let go of things. -
18:50 - 18:54The other thing in right motivation
is letting go -
18:55 - 19:04and then the second factor of right
motivation is kindness, compassion. -
19:05 - 19:09and that was something
I often say this to people -
19:09 - 19:13that was something I thought
was obvious if ever you read -
19:13 - 19:16the life story of the monks and nuns
in the time of the Buddha. -
19:16 - 19:22Compassion was really important,
being kind to all beings. -
19:22 - 19:28This is one lady, I think,
she didn't say where she was from. -
19:28 - 19:33There's still a lot of people
who have discriminatory minds -
19:33 - 19:38and she was a Buddhist but she said
something happened last week. -
19:39 - 19:43She said her son came out
and said he was gay. -
19:43 - 19:46" Oh! Ajahn Brahm,
what should I do?" -
19:46 - 19:51Because there's some societies
where that's still regarded as terrible -
19:51 - 19:56and I said look, you probably chant
this every day as a Buddhist, -
19:56 - 19:59"may all beings be happy and well."
-
19:59 - 20:04I think you chanted that here
just before I came in. -
20:04 - 20:11Gay people, lesbians, transgenders,
L G B T Q I A plus. -
20:12 - 20:15Aren't they beings?
-
20:15 - 20:18Do they deserve kindness,
compassion, empathy -
20:18 - 20:23just like everybody else?
What's the problem? -
20:23 - 20:24And the fact that
she didn't realize -
20:24 - 20:28she'd be chanting and part of the chant,
may all beings be happy and well. -
20:28 - 20:34Even Donald Trump, Mr. Putin.
-
20:34 - 20:39Who else is in the black books?
May they all be happy and well, come on. -
20:39 - 20:44Because there's something powerful
which I saw in this type of Buddhism -
20:44 - 20:47when you give happiness to your enemies
-
20:48 - 20:51then your enemies are not
your enemies anymore. -
20:51 - 20:56It's weird but they become soft
and peaceful. -
20:57 - 21:00And where this comes up,
Why I wanted to bring this up was -
21:00 - 21:05you know sometimes when I think
this BBC article I read a long time ago, -
21:05 - 21:07so one of the problems with mindfulness
-
21:07 - 21:10they get you to actually just allow
things to be. -
21:11 - 21:14That's not good enough.
-
21:14 - 21:17Because sometimes what comes up
-
21:17 - 21:20is some of the past traumas
which people have. -
21:20 - 21:23And those past traumas if
it's just being aware of them, -
21:23 - 21:25you can't hold them,
you can't handle them, -
21:25 - 21:27they're just really painful.
-
21:27 - 21:30And that's where a lot of times people
just have almost psychosis -
21:30 - 21:33with this mindfulness practice.
-
21:33 - 21:35But what's the difference between
how we do things -
21:35 - 21:38in Buddhist mindfulness practice?
-
21:38 - 21:42If something comes out from the past
and it's really a bad memory, -
21:42 - 21:44very awful memory,
difficult memory, -
21:44 - 21:50something very hard for you to hold.
How can we let go of that past? -
21:51 - 21:54With kindness.
-
21:54 - 21:59It's a strange thing to say but I've
said this so many times before -
21:59 - 22:05if you are meditating and you know
your mind just wanders off to the past -
22:05 - 22:08where something really hard
happened to you -
22:08 - 22:11or a repressed memory comes up
into your mind -
22:11 - 22:16and it's a painful memory.
What do you do with it? -
22:17 - 22:22And if you try and get rid of it,
you give it anger, ill will. -
22:22 - 22:27You don't want to face it,
it often gets much worse. -
22:28 - 22:30So there's something else
you can do with it -
22:30 - 22:33give it kindness.
-
22:34 - 22:39Give you yourself kindness.
Give whoever did that to you kindness. -
22:39 - 22:45And here we go again with this simile,
it's such a beautiful simile. -
22:45 - 22:49The last time I gave on the retreat
which I did after Easter -
22:49 - 22:51I remember after doing this simile
-
22:51 - 22:54everyone was looking at me,
just blown away -
22:54 - 22:59even though they heard before.
Many actually were teary afterwards. -
23:00 - 23:04There was that simile of that...
that group here in Perth -
23:04 - 23:11called ASSETT - Australian Society
Survivors of Torture and Trauma. -
23:11 - 23:17And one day they invited me to go
and visit their center -
23:17 - 23:19do a blessing or something.
I said: "Yes, sure." -
23:19 - 23:22because many of them actually came here
-
23:22 - 23:27and I didn't know why.
Why did you invite me? -
23:27 - 23:35And they said because a couple of
their key strategies - they learnt here. -
23:35 - 23:38Which ones?
And when they told me -
23:38 - 23:43oh it's just it's an emotional
deep right inside me, really high, -
23:43 - 23:47make me incredibly happy.
That's why I love telling that story. -
23:47 - 23:50They said the one story
which worked the best. -
23:50 - 23:53It was kindness.
-
23:53 - 23:56What do you mean kindness?
-
23:56 - 24:01It's that old story of telling
what my father told me. -
24:01 - 24:06My father teaches... pictures a lot
in this talk this evening. -
24:06 - 24:09My father used to tell me just
"Son, wherever you go, -
24:09 - 24:12whatever you do, however
you turn out in your life. -
24:12 - 24:15He said to me when I was
about 14 year old. -
24:15 - 24:19And it's so uncertain in life.
He said "whatever you do, -
24:19 - 24:24the door of my house will always
be open to you." -
24:24 - 24:28And of course his house was a council flat
with hardly anything in it. -
24:29 - 24:34But you know that sometimes
somebody says something -
24:34 - 24:38maybe here, maybe a friend,
maybe something you read or hear. -
24:38 - 24:40It's so you know this is important.
-
24:40 - 24:43And I remember that
as a 14 year old boy -
24:43 - 24:47that this is important.
I don't know why I can't understand it -
24:47 - 24:51because you know boys emotions
are not very developed. -
24:51 - 24:55But I remembered it enough that
when I became a monk. -
24:55 - 24:59And one of the nice things about
being a monk or a nun, you have time, -
24:59 - 25:03you have time to really figure out your
emotional world and what it means. -
25:03 - 25:06And that was one of
the unfinished business -
25:06 - 25:09I had from my father - he died
when I was about 16. -
25:09 - 25:12What did he really mean by that?
-
25:12 - 25:15And of course, you've heard me
say this before -
25:15 - 25:17it became the title of my first book.
-
25:17 - 25:22What he meant was not his house,
he meant his heart. -
25:22 - 25:25He said whatever you do,
however you turn out, -
25:25 - 25:28whatever happens to you,
-
25:28 - 25:33the door of my heart
will always be open to you. -
25:33 - 25:38When I realized that was just me
that hit me so deeply. -
25:38 - 25:45It was the first expression
of unconditional love -
25:45 - 25:52that I could really understand.
And it made so much sense to me -
25:52 - 25:56and of course, a father to his son
was, you know, so powerful. -
25:56 - 25:59I wish I'd understood that
when he said it to me -
25:59 - 26:02how powerful it was.
-
26:02 - 26:06And of course that story, which
I can see you're looking at me, -
26:06 - 26:09and it's meant something to you already.
-
26:09 - 26:12That meant something
to a couple of psychologists, -
26:12 - 26:14psychiatrists who would come here
-
26:14 - 26:20and then work with people who had been
very badly abused overseas. -
26:20 - 26:25And people who had survived somehow.
-
26:25 - 26:28When I heard some of their statements
I don't know how -
26:28 - 26:34they could survive some of that abuse,
physical, emotional -
26:34 - 26:38in some of these regimes overseas.
-
26:38 - 26:43But anyway they'd made it
to Australia physically safe, -
26:43 - 26:47emotionally still in the torture chambers,
-
26:47 - 26:52still being raped, beaten
for no reason. -
26:54 - 27:00I've had a very simple life
so I can't really understand -
27:00 - 27:06how they must have felt and
how they survived is beyond me. -
27:07 - 27:10But now they're here, they're still
carrying that huge burden -
27:10 - 27:15and how they overcame that burden.
-
27:15 - 27:20And that's because I developed
that story and taught it -
27:20 - 27:24that gives me so much joy.
How they overcame that was -
27:24 - 27:30they decided to incorporate that
as one of their strategies. -
27:30 - 27:34But when a person feels safe,
you can't force anything, -
27:34 - 27:40you can't say now do it.
It has to be when you're ready. -
27:40 - 27:43And they would sit down
in a comfortable safe place, -
27:43 - 27:45the safety was important
-
27:45 - 27:52and then they closed their eyes and
then they imagine a heart in their chest -
27:52 - 27:56and it was a Valentine's day heart
not a real heart. -
27:56 - 27:59If you've seen real hearts
in medical books -
27:59 - 28:06they're not beautiful at all,
got tubes all over the place. -
28:06 - 28:10But the Valentine's day heart
as everyone knows -
28:10 - 28:14imagine a Valentine's heart
in the center of your chest -
28:14 - 28:19with two big doors.
The two doors open out -
28:19 - 28:22and the nice part of you,
the part of you -
28:22 - 28:27which you can respect and love
and live with happily, -
28:27 - 28:29all the nice times you remember,
-
28:29 - 28:33the joyful times that people
who care for you and love you -
28:33 - 28:37and the wonderful experiences
you've had in your life -
28:37 - 28:43all those little beings which bear your
name at different ages, that's inside. -
28:43 - 28:47That's you,
you can very easily live with. -
28:47 - 28:52Then what happens next
is you look outside, -
28:52 - 28:57outside of your own heart,
is these little beings, -
28:57 - 29:02you were in the past,
young girls, young boys -
29:02 - 29:08who were treated just so painfully.
The physical abuse is only -
29:08 - 29:13a fraction of it, the emotional - Why?
-
29:13 - 29:16That just makes it just so hard to bear.
-
29:16 - 29:19You kept all those beings outside
of your own heart -
29:19 - 29:25and they were you.
So, imagine a ladder -
29:25 - 29:32coming from your heart
going down to the ground -
29:32 - 29:36and seeing all these people
who were you -
29:36 - 29:39and you're inviting them up.
-
29:39 - 29:45I don't, I won't judge who you are
what happened to you, -
29:50 - 29:53no matter who you are, come in.
-
29:54 - 29:57And to actually to do that,
-
29:57 - 30:05it's just one of the most
courageous things you could do. -
30:05 - 30:08Invite those little beings
you're trying to just forget. -
30:08 - 30:10Trying to ignore,
trying to cover up, -
30:10 - 30:12trying to get out of here, get away,
-
30:12 - 30:16you don't belong with me.
You're just so painful. -
30:16 - 30:20You allow them all to come up one by one
-
30:20 - 30:22so little beings who have been alone
-
30:22 - 30:27and separated out of your heart
for so many years -
30:29 - 30:35and you embrace them.
They're in your heart now, not out. -
30:36 - 30:42That's a huge change and they said
that worked amazingly. -
30:42 - 30:47And some of those women
who've gone through that -
30:47 - 30:49would come here on a Friday night.
-
30:49 - 30:54I remember speaking to them, seeing them
and it just blew my mind. -
30:54 - 30:57They told me what they've been through
and you look at them now. -
30:57 - 31:01Wow! they were just
some of the amazing heroes. -
31:01 - 31:06So strong, they were like saints.
They said that's who I am! -
31:07 - 31:13And they don't traumatize themselves
with that anymore. -
31:14 - 31:18That's an extreme, I mean
you've been through some, -
31:18 - 31:21we've all been through some pain
and difficulty in our life. -
31:21 - 31:23There's things we'd rather forget.
-
31:23 - 31:26Why don't we invite that in instead,
-
31:26 - 31:30you embrace that
that's who you are, it's your life -
31:30 - 31:36and something happens,
what happens, -
31:36 - 31:41I keep on saying the same old stories
but they're powerful. -
31:41 - 31:45What happens is the old story of
the monster in the emperor's palace. -
31:45 - 31:49Monster came in the emperor's palace.
Get out, you don't belong. -
31:49 - 31:51Who do you think you are,
coming in here. -
31:51 - 31:54and the empress,
she was wise. -
31:54 - 32:00Because she was also a member of
the Buddhist Society of Western Australia -
32:00 - 32:06she'd come every Friday night.
So when she went back to the palace -
32:06 - 32:10she saw this big monster in there,
really ugly, really frightening. -
32:10 - 32:15What she said to the monster was
"welcome, thank you for visiting. -
32:15 - 32:19is there anything, anyone got you
anything to drink yet? Anything to eat? -
32:19 - 32:20What can we do for you?"
-
32:20 - 32:25She'd turned such kindness to monsters
-
32:25 - 32:28and what happened? This is
based on a Buddhist story. -
32:28 - 32:33Every thought, deed, act of kindness
-
32:33 - 32:36and the monster grew an inch smaller,
-
32:36 - 32:41an inch kinder, a little bit more...
more civil. -
32:41 - 32:44And they kept on
with the kindness so much, -
32:44 - 32:47- this is the shortened
version of the story - -
32:47 - 32:51That soon the monster,
who was so ugly and big -
32:51 - 32:54and frightening and violent
soon became so small -
32:54 - 32:58that one more act of kindness
-
32:58 - 33:01and the monster
vanished completely away. -
33:01 - 33:05And that's in the Buddhist suttas,
-
33:05 - 33:11that the Buddha said we call that
"anger eating monsters." -
33:11 - 33:14The more anger you give it,
the more negativity you give it, -
33:14 - 33:16the bigger it gets.
There's so much of that in our world. -
33:16 - 33:21But here I'm just saying in you,
get out of here bad memory -
33:21 - 33:26you don't belong and
the bad memory gets worse. -
33:26 - 33:32It takes a lot of guts and training
but if you do the kindness; -
33:32 - 33:40"welcome, welcome bad memory.
Thank you for coming to visit me". -
33:40 - 33:44Give kindness to it,
kindness to yourself -
33:44 - 33:50because so many times when you have
a memory which is embarrassing; -
33:50 - 33:54maybe you're ashamed of,
when you actually feel about it, -
33:54 - 33:57it's a human being,
you make mistakes; -
33:57 - 34:00please be kind to yourself.
-
34:00 - 34:05Forgive yourself, care for yourself.
-
34:06 - 34:09Other people who have hurt you
-
34:09 - 34:12I don't know why they hurt you.
You don't know why they hurt you. -
34:12 - 34:15Maybe they thought they were doing
the best thing for you, I don't know. -
34:15 - 34:19Maybe they had other sort of things
they were thinking about at the time -
34:19 - 34:24or maybe they were drunk or
they're in drugs or whatever. -
34:24 - 34:29Sometimes if you can somehow put
yourself in their position a little bit. -
34:29 - 34:34Why do they do that?
What was their cultural training, why? -
34:34 - 34:38If you give kindness to people
who've hurt you, -
34:38 - 34:43it means you're not so vindictive.
There's no wanting to -
34:43 - 34:46sort of harm them back or
want you to harm yourself. -
34:47 - 34:53So when you give kindness to the
negative things of your past. -
34:53 - 35:01You find all those psychosis,
traumas, the bad memories, -
35:01 - 35:05the stuff which you can't get out of
your head, -
35:05 - 35:09stop you sleeping,
stop you enjoying your life -
35:09 - 35:13because you keep remembering
all these bad things. -
35:13 - 35:18You know, after a while
they gets so soft, so peaceful, -
35:18 - 35:22you can let them go.
-
35:22 - 35:29It's weird but you overcome
negativity with kindness. -
35:29 - 35:34There's an amazing beautiful ability
in each one of you -
35:34 - 35:36to be soft and gentle.
-
35:37 - 35:41And if you're soft and gentle
to your past; -
35:41 - 35:45The negative to the past can't stand it,
it vanishes. -
35:45 - 35:49So when we do mindfulness
we don't just be aware of the stuff. -
35:49 - 35:50we know the strategies.
-
35:50 - 35:53If you get a bad feeling from the past
-
35:53 - 35:55you can first of all you say
-
35:55 - 35:58okay, I'll just let that go because
I'm not ready for it yet. -
35:58 - 36:01But there comes a time
when you are ready for it, -
36:01 - 36:04have all these strategies on
how to deal with it. -
36:04 - 36:08Another strategy how you deal with
some of the negativity of the past. -
36:08 - 36:14You know, every bad feeling
you have in your head, in your mind, -
36:14 - 36:20has a corresponding feeling in your body,
a physical feeling. -
36:21 - 36:23I already mentioned that at the beginning
-
36:23 - 36:26when you are mindful of the body
and relaxing the body -
36:26 - 36:29I was talking about like the head.
-
36:29 - 36:34If you are negative you can read
on a person's face. -
36:34 - 36:38Muscles tighten up, these other
muscles loosen up -
36:38 - 36:41and that's actually pretty much universal.
-
36:41 - 36:44You know indigenous tribes in
the middle of the Amazon somewhere -
36:44 - 36:49you can still read their emotions
on their facial features. -
36:49 - 36:55So, all of those negative emotions
from the past -
36:55 - 36:59or fears of the future,
-
36:59 - 37:02that's also written on
your body somewhere. -
37:02 - 37:05And that's one of the reasons why
-
37:05 - 37:09if you do have some anxiety
or fear or whatever, -
37:09 - 37:16by doing some meditation practice,
it's not that hard to overcome that. -
37:16 - 37:21And it just amazes you how easy it is
and how effective it is. -
37:21 - 37:25And of course the one I'm going
to bring up now was... -
37:25 - 37:27she's not here this evening
thank goodness, -
37:27 - 37:30otherwise people get embarrassed.
-
37:30 - 37:33But this was a lady who had
very bad anxiety. -
37:33 - 37:37So much anxiety
she couldn't get out of bed, -
37:37 - 37:41afraid even to go through the door
out into the world. -
37:41 - 37:44And she was in Adelaide,
a university student -
37:45 - 37:51and being in university
she had free medical care. -
37:51 - 37:56Great psychologists, psychiatrists,
every possibility and drugs and stuff. -
37:56 - 37:59Nothing worked.
-
37:59 - 38:03So she was like bedbound; an anxiety
which no one could cure. -
38:03 - 38:14But fortunately her father, no,
not father... uncle. -
38:14 - 38:19Uncle comes here.
So uncle said go and ring up Ajahn Brahm. -
38:22 - 38:24Love it whenever she called me up
-
38:24 - 38:27and she told me what was
happening with her -
38:27 - 38:31and that's where mindfulness practice
-
38:31 - 38:35but not just mindfulness.
I said that's not enough. -
38:35 - 38:40But first of all I said:
"When you have an anxiety attack, -
38:40 - 38:46a panic attack - you're bedridden -
where on your body do you feel it?" -
38:46 - 38:49I wasn't asking about
her mind, her emotions -
38:49 - 38:52because that was just too strong
for her to really get to know. -
38:52 - 38:55"Where do you feel it on your body?"
she said: " In my chest." -
38:55 - 38:58I said "It's not good enough,
I want know exactly where?" -
38:58 - 39:03She was studying dentistry
so part of science, -
39:03 - 39:06I want coordinates
from your navel, your belly button, -
39:06 - 39:09I want centimeters,
millimeters even -
39:09 - 39:11to the center of the feeling
in your chest -
39:11 - 39:15and how far does it extend?
is it circular? -
39:15 - 39:18or is it ovular? or is it a square?
-
39:18 - 39:23I want you to describe it to me
accurately with dimensions. -
39:23 - 39:26Is it more to the left more to the right
or really central? -
39:26 - 39:29And give me a call in three days.
-
39:29 - 39:32I mentioned that because
I wasn't just, -
39:32 - 39:39well part of it was I was very busy
(laugh) I got to be honest -
39:39 - 39:43but it's also I just
wanted her to do something. -
39:43 - 39:46You know, one of the terrible things
if you're in trouble -
39:46 - 39:50with either bad feelings in meditation
or other stuff. -
39:50 - 39:53When people tell you what to do,
-
39:53 - 40:00they're taking away your...
almost like your sense of being -
40:00 - 40:02an owner of your problem
and your body. -
40:02 - 40:08You give up ownership of the disease
or the problem to some experts. -
40:08 - 40:11I didn't want that to happen.
So this is your body, -
40:11 - 40:18it's your emotions. So you tell me,
I'm not gonna control you. -
40:18 - 40:22So after three days she called
-
40:22 - 40:25and I was really amazed
at the descriptions she gave. -
40:25 - 40:27and I said: "Well, exactly that's
where it is. -
40:27 - 40:28How does it feel ?
-
40:28 - 40:30Is it burning or is it aching,
does it change? -
40:30 - 40:32is it the same all over, whatever?
-
40:32 - 40:36"Oh, I don't know."
"Give me a call in three days." -
40:37 - 40:40Which she did, she gave another
really amazing explanation -
40:40 - 40:43of what it feels like,
sensations in the body -
40:43 - 40:46when you have a panic attack.
"Great!" I said now -
40:46 - 40:52that's making her mindful,
that's just the awareness part of it. -
40:52 - 40:56A lot of times that's what people do
when they practice mindfulness -
40:56 - 41:00they get to know these things
but no more. -
41:00 - 41:04And then the extra part which is
the important part was, -
41:04 - 41:07well, now you know,
when you have a panic attack, -
41:07 - 41:09where it is, what it feels like.
-
41:09 - 41:12Now I said I want you
to get your hand when you have... -
41:12 - 41:16she's in bed
get your hand and massage that area -
41:16 - 41:20with your hand
as kindly as you possibly can -
41:20 - 41:25with much compassion
and gentleness as you possibly can. -
41:25 - 41:29And I said to her
if you can't do it -
41:29 - 41:36ask your boyfriend to do it for you.
I don't think he'd mind -
41:36 - 41:40and give me a call in three days
and she did that. -
41:40 - 41:44It was beautiful, because this is
one of those times again -
41:44 - 41:49which really makes me feel wonderful
how meditation works. -
41:49 - 41:52And I asked: "Did you follow
my instructions?" She said: "Yeah." -
41:52 - 41:56What happened when you massage
the panic attacks in your chest? -
41:56 - 41:59So I massage them and massage
and massage them -
41:59 - 42:02and then the feeling in the chest
sort of got loosened and relaxed -
42:02 - 42:05and eventually the feeling
in the chest went away. -
42:05 - 42:09And I said:" Well, when the feeling
in the chest went away, -
42:09 - 42:12what happened to the anxiety,
to the panic?" -
42:12 - 42:17And that's one of those beautiful moments
when she paused. -
42:17 - 42:22it's when the light bulbs went on
when the eureka moment happened. -
42:22 - 42:27She said:" Well, when the physical
feeling vanished so did the anxiety." -
42:27 - 42:32Now you know
how to overcome your anxiety. -
42:32 - 42:37Deal with the physical manifestation,
the physical counterpart. -
42:37 - 42:41Once that disappears also the emotional,
-
42:41 - 42:44the inside part also turns off
and vanishes. -
42:44 - 42:48That was wonderful lovely lady.
-
42:49 - 42:53I think it was two weeks
as she was back in classes again, -
42:53 - 42:59out of bed and graduated with
first class honours in dentistry. -
42:59 - 43:03And then just her boyfriend she married.
-
43:03 - 43:06And one of nice things people think
that Ajahn Brahm's not a romantic -
43:08 - 43:13but they got married
in the sunken gardens in UWA. -
43:13 - 43:16And who do you think
gave the blessing there? -
43:18 - 43:20Had to have me go there.
-
43:20 - 43:24I didn't find it out until later on.
She was so impressed -
43:24 - 43:29that she actually nominated me
for Australian of the year. -
43:30 - 43:35I didn't get it but I could understand.
She was just wow, this really works. -
43:35 - 43:38But this is actually just an example
of how we deal with negativity, -
43:38 - 43:40not just a mindfulness,
-
43:40 - 43:43not being aware of it,
she was totally aware of it -
43:43 - 43:47but also what to do with it
when it comes up. -
43:47 - 43:50Give it compassion and kindness.
-
43:50 - 43:52The right motivation in Buddhism is,
-
43:52 - 43:58it is letting go,
being kind, being gentle. -
43:58 - 44:02And if you do your mindfulness practice
with those things in mind. -
44:02 - 44:09You will find that when something comes up
which is a bit negative. -
44:09 - 44:15Ahh, some bad memory
from the past has come up ahh... -
44:15 - 44:18and you can actually be soft with it
and kind with it -
44:18 - 44:22and it just melts it all away.
-
44:22 - 44:25So that's something which we can do
-
44:25 - 44:28and it's powerful stuff as well.
-
44:28 - 44:31Those little stories which
I mentioned there, -
44:31 - 44:35they're real stories
and it happens. -
44:35 - 44:39And my own little stories
-
44:39 - 44:44you know every time
if I have sicknesses and stuff -
44:44 - 44:48it's not just emotional problems,
physical problems. -
44:49 - 44:52I keep telling monks, it's an old joke.
-
44:52 - 44:54I keep telling the monks
that you know -
44:54 - 45:00my 70th year on planet earth now,
in August I'll be 70. -
45:00 - 45:04So I kept on telling them
" Monks, I'm getting old." -
45:04 - 45:07And they said:
" No, you're not getting old." -
45:07 - 45:09and I thought they would say that
because of kindness. -
45:09 - 45:13They said: "No, no, we're not saying
that out of kindness to you. -
45:13 - 45:18We're saying that out of truth.
You are old, you're not getting old. -
45:20 - 45:23You've already arrived."
-
45:29 - 45:34But I don't know where I was going
with this one but anyway... -
45:37 - 45:42So many times in my life,
you have sicknesses -
45:42 - 45:46and some of those sickness
which I've had -
45:46 - 45:49you try and take medicines and stuff
-
45:49 - 45:54and quite honestly these days
I much prefer doing kindness -
45:54 - 45:57to any sicknesses which I have.
Awareness and kindness. -
45:57 - 46:00Looking at my body,
where's the problem? -
46:01 - 46:08you may have... like the time
which I had food poisoning, -
46:09 - 46:14real food poisoning in my ...
in my cave. -
46:14 - 46:18I was screaming,
no one could hear me -
46:18 - 46:22because these were like cramps
which food poisoning gives you -
46:22 - 46:27Agh! and then it just ... Agh!
-
46:27 - 46:31Totally involuntary I couldn't do
anything with it. -
46:31 - 46:34And then I knew no one could hear me
-
46:34 - 46:37because that's the point
of having a cave -
46:37 - 46:38two doors, it's underground.
-
46:38 - 46:40Well I can't hear
what's going on outside -
46:40 - 46:43which is wonderful,
but they can't hear what's going on inside -
46:43 - 46:47which is a difficulty sometimes.
-
46:47 - 46:52So anyway, I did my ...
same as I teach other people, -
46:52 - 46:56sit there being mindful and being kind.
-
46:56 - 47:01Those two are very, very, powerful.
-
47:01 - 47:05I think the last talk I gave here about
opening the lotus, wasn't it? -
47:05 - 47:11Remember that's the sun
has light and warmth. -
47:11 - 47:15That's what opens lotuses up,
the light and warmth of the sun. -
47:15 - 47:19The light stands for mindfulness,
the warmth stands for kindness. -
47:19 - 47:25Those two go together and
they're incredibly powerful. -
47:25 - 47:32I was just kind to the cramps
in the tummy. -
47:32 - 47:36So kind to them
every time they repeat it -
47:36 - 47:43ah, ah, ah ... maybe 2 or 3 minutes
before you had a cramp. -
47:43 - 47:47but every time that the cramp got less.
-
47:47 - 47:50My awareness was sharp enough
that you could feel it -
47:50 - 47:54just less painful,
because I was kind to it. -
47:54 - 47:57Next one was less painful,
next time was less painful, -
47:57 - 48:00next time was less painful.
Only a tiny bit less painful -
48:00 - 48:03but I could perceive that
because I was aware. -
48:03 - 48:08I wasn't trying to think I'm gonna die
what should I do. -
48:08 - 48:12But I was being aware of it
and then it got so soft -
48:12 - 48:15and after 30, 40 minutes
it just vanished completely. -
48:15 - 48:20That was weird even I was
really struck by that -
48:20 - 48:23because usually food poisoning
you just gotta go to doctor. -
48:23 - 48:25I don't know what you gonna do
-
48:25 - 48:28but this is much better
than going to a doctor. -
48:28 - 48:30And then just after meditating
nice and peacefully. -
48:30 - 48:35It never came back again.
It's weird but it's so true. -
48:35 - 48:38I'm sure many of you may have
had examples like that. -
48:38 - 48:40So the mindfulness with the kindness
-
48:40 - 48:44put those two together and
it is really powerful. -
48:45 - 48:51And not just powerful,
you find your awareness get stronger. -
48:51 - 48:55That's the part which
most mindfulness teachings -
48:55 - 48:58the worldly stuff,
they don't really mention that. -
48:58 - 49:02That's where your mindfulness,
awareness gets really so strong. -
49:02 - 49:08I have to invent words for
this because no one else does. -
49:08 - 49:11Like, powerful mindfulness
and superpower mindfulness -
49:11 - 49:14and mega-power mindfulness.
-
49:14 - 49:19That's what it feels like,
I do not take drugs. -
49:19 - 49:23But sometimes people asked:
"What drug are you on Ajahn Brahm today?" -
49:23 - 49:26Because you're so happy and joyful
and healthy. -
49:26 - 49:28"What's going on?"
-
49:28 - 49:32This is natural,
you're empowering your awareness. -
49:32 - 49:36And your awareness after a while
gets incredibly strong. -
49:36 - 49:42That's when if any of you
like food, I don't know about you. -
49:42 - 49:45You're going out for a meal
after the talk tonight? -
49:45 - 49:52Maybe you didn't have a meal before?
or if you really want to enjoy food -
49:52 - 49:57meditate here first of all
and then go out -
49:57 - 50:03and you will find you don't have to spend
a lot of money on an expensive restaurant. -
50:03 - 50:08Just go around the corner to,
what was it, McDonald's -
50:08 - 50:12and you just bite into that whatever
you're biting into -
50:12 - 50:14and it taste out of this world.
-
50:16 - 50:21It's nothing to do with the hamburger
or whatever else you're eating. -
50:21 - 50:26But everything to do with your
mindfulness being so strong, so powerful. -
50:26 - 50:30That hamburger tastes like
it's been made at a 5 star, -
50:30 - 50:34no, not five star,
six star restaurant. -
50:34 - 50:38It's not what's in what you're seeing.
-
50:38 - 50:41It's not what's seeing what you're eating.
-
50:41 - 50:48It's everything what's in your mind,
your mind is clear, sensitive. -
50:48 - 50:54And if you hear any music,
wow! it thrills you -
50:54 - 50:57because you're picking up everything.
-
50:57 - 51:02which is being... being there in the sound
and this is what happens. -
51:02 - 51:07This life as a monk.
I love this, you have so much joy. -
51:07 - 51:10At night time, right now,
in Serpentine -
51:10 - 51:16you look at the stars in the evening.
Absolutely thrilling, they're gorgeous. -
51:16 - 51:20You just look up and you just
can't take your eyes away. -
51:20 - 51:27The dawns it makes...
it just amazing. Who wants a tv? -
51:27 - 51:31Who wants anything?
You want to watch that. -
51:31 - 51:35Who wants to go to a museum
when that's happening right there -
51:35 - 51:42it's for free. And so, so much
of the world of life -
51:42 - 51:47becomes so sensitive and so amazing,
it's so beautiful. -
51:47 - 51:50You get a huge amount
of happiness and joy -
51:50 - 51:53when your mindfulness gets really strong.
-
51:53 - 51:58And even you, sometimes you meditate,
you look at the carpet. -
51:58 - 52:01Have you ever noticed
how beautiful that carpet is? -
52:04 - 52:07Am I going crazy?
-
52:10 - 52:15The point is that when
your mindfulness gets strong. -
52:15 - 52:19Every shade of those light blues
and dark blues -
52:19 - 52:22and reds and yellows and whites
-
52:22 - 52:28and the way that they interact together
and the texture of that carpet. -
52:28 - 52:34It just really comes out
and blows your mind, becomes beautiful. -
52:35 - 52:39Free happiness in the ordinary.
-
52:39 - 52:42And if that carpet looks beautiful.
-
52:42 - 52:47You look at your old grandma.
She's gorgeous. -
52:49 - 52:53And I'm not joking.
That's what happens. -
52:53 - 52:57Superpower mindfulness and you see
beauty in so many things -
52:57 - 52:59in your past, in your future,
-
52:59 - 53:03in people you live with,
in your children, in your partners -
53:03 - 53:08in your grandparents,
in your monks and your nuns, -
53:08 - 53:15in your politicians,
in the police who stop you. -
53:17 - 53:20You know sometimes I just wonder,
-
53:20 - 53:26you know, people like being around monks
-
53:26 - 53:29that's what you do anyway because
you come every Friday night. -
53:29 - 53:31But why?
-
53:31 - 53:33I always remember that one politician
-
53:33 - 53:36apparently she's still in politics
that's Alannah MacTiernan. -
53:36 - 53:39Years and years, about 20, 30 years ago
or something. -
53:39 - 53:42She was in politics and we went to
see her for something -
53:43 - 53:47and afterwards you know,
after we talked to her about something, -
53:47 - 53:49she had some really wonderful advice.
-
53:49 - 53:54And as she got off her seat
instead of letting her secretary -
53:54 - 53:58take us to the door, she escorted us
to the door with kindness -
53:58 - 54:04and she said "you know I really enjoy
people like you coming to my office." -
54:04 - 54:07and she meant it with sincerity.
-
54:08 - 54:11I always wonder why did she say that.
-
54:11 - 54:13This is because, the monks and nuns
are kind. -
54:13 - 54:17Well, generally we have something
to complain about but we don't do: -
54:17 - 54:22"Hey! why are you doing this, why are you
doing that? We... Blah, blah, blah..." -
54:22 - 54:28I just could feel the kindness there,
the gentleness, the beauty, the peace. -
54:28 - 54:32So that's what happens
when you're mindful and kind. -
54:32 - 54:36You make friends
in the weirdest of places. -
54:36 - 54:40So anyway that's the talk
for this evening. -
54:40 - 54:46The mindfulness by itself,
I agree can have some problems. -
54:46 - 54:49But you add the kindness,
you add the rest of the factors like -
54:49 - 54:54we're doing this not to get things
but to let go of things. -
54:54 - 54:57We're doing this out of
kindness and gentleness. -
54:57 - 55:00If that motivates your life, wow!
-
55:00 - 55:03Meditation is so beautiful.
-
55:03 - 55:06Thank you for listening.
-
55:06 - 55:10(Audience) Sadhu, Sadhu, Sadhu
-
55:10 - 55:13I always say when people try and do
something and they don't do it properly -
55:13 - 55:16if you're gonna clap, clap.
-
55:16 - 55:21(Audience) clapping
-
55:24 - 55:26But anyway, thank you.
-
55:26 - 55:30First of all any questions
from the people here? -
55:31 - 55:36(inaudible from audience)
-
55:42 - 55:48Q-Ajahn, how do we apply a loving kindness
in a not for profit organization? -
55:48 - 55:54Yeah, again that Buddhism is one
of the few non-profit religions -
55:54 - 55:58because we don't believe in prophets.
-
55:58 - 56:02You know, Jesus was a prophet,
other people are prophets -
56:02 - 56:08but we don't have prophet in Buddhism,
we're really non.... -
56:08 - 56:13Okay, it's an old bad joke but never mind.
-
56:13 - 56:17How to have loving kindness?
-
56:17 - 56:23I think because I have met
many millionaires in my life -
56:23 - 56:28and I just... when I once I was...
okay don't mind saying. -
56:28 - 56:33At a state dinner once over in Canberra
I went to the toilet. -
56:33 - 56:38In male toilets, you know, for urinals,
you just had one next to the other -
56:38 - 56:43and so I went in there and the
fellow was in the next urinal to me -
56:43 - 56:53was uh... sorry, yeah that's right
Lachlan Murdoch, -
56:53 - 56:58he is Rupert Murdoch son,
Dr. Murdock. -
56:58 - 57:01And as soon as I saw his badge
Lachlan Murdoch I thought -
57:01 - 57:05if only I had a donation envelope.
(laugh) -
57:09 - 57:15But that... like one of the people
I think I quoted recently -
57:15 - 57:21which was the head of the Changi airport
corporation many years ago -
57:21 - 57:27and it was the day before
he was opening terminal 3, no 4, -
57:27 - 57:31terminal 4 in Singapore.
And he was next to the head of -
57:31 - 57:36Keppel Shipping who was the
highest paid CEO in Singapore. -
57:36 - 57:39So these were... actually Buddhists.
And he said -
57:39 - 57:44"how do you do loving kindness
and put Buddhism into your business?" -
57:44 - 57:50I remember the head of
the Changi Airport Corporation, -
57:50 - 57:54he said "people go to work
every morning and expect to be happy." -
57:54 - 57:58But how many go to work
in the morning -
57:58 - 58:03with the resolution to make
someone else happy today? -
58:03 - 58:06So that's why you don't feel
any happiness, -
58:06 - 58:08you expect someone else
to make you happy, -
58:08 - 58:12but you don't go to work with
the main desire of -
58:12 - 58:15"I'm gonna make someone happy today."
-
58:15 - 58:19So just changing a person's attitude
a little bit . -
58:19 - 58:21I don't know where you work,
-
58:21 - 58:27I work in BSWA so I often go
to work on a Friday night. -
58:27 - 58:33I'm gonna make somebody happy tonight.
So you put happiness in there -
58:33 - 58:39instead of expecting happiness
to be given to you. -
58:39 - 58:43You become proactive
so that's one way -
58:43 - 58:48in any organization you can actually
put some joy and happiness in there. -
58:48 - 58:50It's wonderful when that happens.
-
58:50 - 58:54Human beings are just
gorgeous people. -
58:54 - 58:58And they just need to touch that goodness.
-
58:58 - 59:00I just remember just...
-
59:00 - 59:07because I don't know why I got involved
in Curtin university of all places. -
59:07 - 59:09But I was given the John Curtin Medal
there once, -
59:09 - 59:13and so often I go there
for one reason or another. -
59:13 - 59:19But it happened over here.
There was a Sri Lankan woman and -
59:19 - 59:22she would come here, not that often
because she was very busy -
59:22 - 59:26looking after two children.
And her husband -
59:26 - 59:31was actually working two jobs
to get enough money, -
59:31 - 59:38because the wife was actually doing a
training in nursing at Curtin university. -
59:38 - 59:43And unfortunately that one night,
double job, not enough sleep, -
59:43 - 59:46he crashed the car and killed himself.
-
59:47 - 59:52It was a tragedy, you know,
just trying to work too hard. -
59:52 - 60:00And the wife, the two kids, no way
she could pay the tuition fees at Curtin. -
60:00 - 60:08So, I got on the phone to
the vice chancellor, Jeannette Hackett. -
60:08 - 60:10She became a good friend.
-
60:10 - 60:15I confessed this that on one occasion,
she was just retiring -
60:15 - 60:18"Ajahn Brahm, I just loved
my association with you" she said. -
60:18 - 60:20She said "I'm going to give you a hug."
-
60:20 - 60:23You're not supposed to do that
to a Buddhist monk -
60:23 - 60:28but she was too fast for me.
(laughter) -
60:28 - 60:31It's only once.
-
60:31 - 60:35But anyway, I called her up I said
"Look, this is real tragedy." -
60:35 - 60:39She said "What is it?"
And because they know you, -
60:39 - 60:41you can actually get straight
through to them -
60:41 - 60:45and I said "Look, any chance
of getting a scholarship for her?" -
60:45 - 60:48" Leave it with me." she said.
-
60:48 - 60:51And of course, they got
the scholarship for her -
60:51 - 60:55and so everything paid for
in Curtin university. -
60:55 - 61:00And just I think the locals over here
we try to help her. -
61:00 - 61:05Some donations for her costs
of living and stuff. -
61:05 - 61:08And eventually when she graduated
as a nurse from here, -
61:08 - 61:13she came up, I remember,
just came up and said thank you -
61:13 - 61:16and that basically saved her life.
-
61:16 - 61:19Unfortunately couldn't save her husband's
life but at least could save her. -
61:19 - 61:23So you know, these people you may think
are they just big bosses somewhere. -
61:23 - 61:25They like doing good things as well,
kind things. -
61:25 - 61:28They don't like being exploited
you give them an opportunity -
61:28 - 61:33to do something good
and they will just...they will run for it. -
61:33 - 61:37Anyway all the good people
I've seen in life here, -
61:37 - 61:41give them an opportunity and
they love doing great stuff. -
61:41 - 61:47Q - Okay, from Hong Kong,
I'm very sensitive to smell -
61:47 - 61:52halfway through the meditation I smell
cigarette smoke and drain smells. -
61:52 - 61:57Is it desirable for me to deal with them,
ie. to close windows halfway through? -
61:57 - 62:02Sometimes that's why people
used to light incense in temples -
62:02 - 62:10because when hygiene wasn't that good
you need smelly incense. -
62:10 - 62:13I don't know why in Hong Kong,
halfway through meditation -
62:13 - 62:15I smell cigarette smoke.
-
62:15 - 62:19You know, sometimes you can turn
the sense of smell off. -
62:19 - 62:23In other words you're just going inside
the body -
62:23 - 62:27and the joy of peace is so strong
that you don't hear things, -
62:27 - 62:31you can't be disturbed
by something like smell. -
62:31 - 62:36So if you go deeper quickly then you
won't smell anything at all. -
62:36 - 62:39and I don't know where you're meditating
-
62:39 - 62:41if those cigarette smoke and
drain smells are there anyway -
62:41 - 62:46just try and meditate somewhere
else which hasn't got those smells. -
62:47 - 62:51Is it desire for me to deal with them
close windows halfway through? -
62:51 - 62:54No, close the windows before you start
-
62:54 - 62:59and then you won't have those cigarette
smoke and drain smells. -
62:59 - 63:04From Poland, "When we meet a person who
is saying or doing awful things to us -
63:04 - 63:06how we can still be kind to that person
-
63:06 - 63:10when they continue to be
in our life and do us harm?" -
63:10 - 63:16If they're saying things and then,
are they really doing you harm? -
63:16 - 63:21This is one of the reasons why,
when I complained -
63:21 - 63:26to my teacher, Ajahn Chah,
about the mosquitoes. -
63:26 - 63:30they were really doing us harm,
you know, biting us all over the place. -
63:31 - 63:35And who knows that, you know,
he said they don't have malaria -
63:35 - 63:39just need one,
just one and that's it. -
63:39 - 63:44But anyway so when I asked Ajahn Chah
can we have some mosquito repellant -
63:44 - 63:50or some coils or some protection
mosquito nets. -
63:50 - 63:53He said "No!"
-
63:53 - 63:57That's how kind he was, I thought.
-
63:57 - 64:01But then what he really meant was
"No, from now on" he said -
64:01 - 64:07"you'd call the mosquitoes your teacher,
Ajahn Mosquito." -
64:07 - 64:13That was hard but it was beautiful,
you learned so much from that. -
64:13 - 64:20So, you meet a person
who's saying and doing awful things to us -
64:20 - 64:25see if you can protect yourself
however much you can -
64:25 - 64:33and also be kind. If it's still
too difficult to be kind to them. -
64:33 - 64:39There's an old saying in Chinese
"to love the tiger but at a distance." -
64:39 - 64:43So you can move away from it a little bit.
-
64:43 - 64:45If they are doing awful things
to you again -
64:45 - 64:50sometimes you have to call the police
if they're really doing your physical harm -
64:50 - 64:55but sometimes if not.
Okay here's another story. -
64:55 - 65:01This is after about being here
nine or ten years. -
65:01 - 65:06I've been here now 37 or 38 years
in Australia, in Perth. -
65:06 - 65:09But anyway, this woman
came to see me once -
65:09 - 65:12and just after one of the talks,
just before this hall was made, -
65:12 - 65:15we had our talks in the community hall.
And she came and said: -
65:15 - 65:22" I've just come to thank you
for saving my marriage." -
65:22 - 65:28And I asked her what have we done
and then she told her story. -
65:28 - 65:32This is not an example to be followed
-
65:32 - 65:37but this was the days when
there was very little support -
65:37 - 65:41for women suffering domestic violence.
-
65:41 - 65:46She said her husband was being
violent to her regularly. -
65:46 - 65:51She said she came to this place
not to learn Buddhism -
65:51 - 65:54but at least when she was here
she felt safe. -
65:54 - 65:58A couple of hours when
she wasn't being hit. -
65:58 - 66:02That was really extreme,
I never knew anything about that. -
66:02 - 66:04But she said she kept on coming here
-
66:04 - 66:09and she learned the kindness
and just focusing on the positive, -
66:09 - 66:15the watering the weeds and not the ...
Sorry, no, I got that wrong didn't I? -
66:17 - 66:20Yeah watering the flowers not the weeds.
-
66:22 - 66:26And she said she practiced,
that took her seven years. -
66:26 - 66:31And she got these little meditation stools
you see them in the back over there. -
66:31 - 66:37she said: "you see this meditation stool,
she said he made this for me today. -
66:37 - 66:40that's why I need to come and thank you."
-
66:40 - 66:46She said if he made something like this
four years ago it'd be to hit me with. -
66:46 - 66:51And it was really gross but then I saw her
she was this really beautiful woman. -
66:51 - 66:57You know, not just like a supermodel
but just her eyes and her goodness -
66:57 - 66:59she was like a saint
-
66:59 - 67:02and she said now my husband's
totally changed -
67:02 - 67:04he's kind to me because what she did,
-
67:04 - 67:09every time he said something
abusive or did something abusive, -
67:09 - 67:14she totally ignored that.
How she could do that? -
67:14 - 67:15Immense endurance!
-
67:15 - 67:18Every time he did something good
and kind and wonderful. -
67:18 - 67:21She really let him know
he was appreciated. -
67:21 - 67:26The extra hug, the extra kisses,
oh! thank you so much. -
67:26 - 67:31She really reinforced the positive
behavior in her own husband. -
67:31 - 67:33And then she showed me
"he's in the back here, -
67:33 - 67:39over there that's him."
And two lovely children. -
67:39 - 67:41She earned those.
-
67:41 - 67:45You shouldn't have to earn
your happiness in life. -
67:45 - 67:51But I don't know know why she married
that man but she totally changed him. -
67:51 - 67:53He came down to the monastery as well,
wonderful guy. -
67:53 - 67:59So it's possible but that's going
a bit far because of physical abuse. -
67:59 - 68:01But she did it, good on her.
-
68:02 - 68:06From Bangalore, "Respected Ajahn,
how does one investigate the I or me -
68:06 - 68:09who is meditating, watch his feelings,
thoughts, breaths, ect... -
68:09 - 68:13It seems to be a perceiver as long
as there's something to perceive?" -
68:13 - 68:17You don't go thinking and trying to
perceive these deep teachings, -
68:17 - 68:20you let these deep teachings come to you.
-
68:20 - 68:25So, in other words things start to
disappear, you relax to the max. -
68:25 - 68:28You don't try and contemplate things,
you see things. -
68:29 - 68:31That's how this works and how it works
-
68:31 - 68:35many of you've heard this simile before
I'm going way over time again. -
68:35 - 68:40The old tadpole and the frog simile.
-
68:40 - 68:42Tadpole can't understand water,
-
68:42 - 68:45can contemplate water,
think about water, investigate water. -
68:45 - 68:48Tadpole will never know what water is,
-
68:48 - 68:51no more than a fish
can know what water is. -
68:51 - 68:56The reason I said tadpole instead of fish
because one day tadpole grows into frog -
68:56 - 69:00and frog grows arms and legs
and frog doesn't know what they're doing. -
69:00 - 69:03And they jump out the water one day.
-
69:03 - 69:06Now when water has vanished.
-
69:06 - 69:10Now the frog can understand
what water was. -
69:10 - 69:13The same way we go so deep in meditation
-
69:13 - 69:19and soon we don't have our body,
don't have our mind, have nothing left. -
69:19 - 69:23Now you understand what you thought
you were. -
69:23 - 69:27You don't do this with philosophy.
-
69:27 - 69:33Philosophy gives you, please excuse me,
gives you headaches. -
69:34 - 69:37Seeing gives you truth.
-
69:38 - 69:43From Melbourne, "Dear Ajahn, when worldly
pleasures disappear there's sadness -
69:43 - 69:46but when happiness experiences in
deep meditation disappears -
69:46 - 69:48no such sadness can be felt.
Is this correct?" -
69:48 - 69:54The deep meditation disappears
no such sadness can be felt. -
69:54 - 69:59No, because it's a happiness
of contentment. -
69:59 - 70:03Contentment means you're happy,
no matter what. -
70:05 - 70:10It's contentment of having no desires,
the freedom from wanting. -
70:10 - 70:16You don't want anything
then suffering starts to vanish. -
70:17 - 70:22From Indiana, "Ajahn Brahm, I lost
my 15 year old to suicide in December. -
70:22 - 70:25What would the Buddha say
to do to lessen this kind of suffering?" -
70:25 - 70:29Just to understand that your son
will come back again. -
70:29 - 70:33Suffering is not the end of all life.
-
70:33 - 70:35Sorry no, that's the wrong answer
as I'm getting tired. -
70:35 - 70:38Suicide is not the end of all life.
-
70:38 - 70:42Many times people who commit suicide
they come back again pretty quickly. -
70:42 - 70:49So, the person made a mistake,
big mistake. -
70:49 - 70:52So next time they can come back,
-
70:52 - 70:54if life is more meaningful
-
70:54 - 70:58then who would ever want
to commit suicide? -
70:59 - 71:03And I remember just when
I was in Singapore -
71:03 - 71:07there was one kid just
jumped off the balcony -
71:07 - 71:10of one of this big apartment blocks
killed himself. -
71:10 - 71:13But the suicide note was in the front
page of the Straits Times. -
71:13 - 71:17And it was just whoa!
It made many people wake up. -
71:17 - 71:21He said "All I wanted was more time
with my parents". -
71:26 - 71:29And of course, you can understand
what that means. -
71:29 - 71:31Many times the parents
are working so hard -
71:31 - 71:34because they want to get
the best education -
71:34 - 71:37the best this, the best that
for their kids. -
71:37 - 71:40All the kids really wanted was just time.
-
71:40 - 71:44If they had a father like my father,
-
71:44 - 71:47who just spent so much time with us.
-
71:47 - 71:50He wasn't wealthy at all,
he was really poor. -
71:50 - 71:52He gave me so much inspiration.
-
71:52 - 71:58That's what children want,
they want time with the people they love. -
71:58 - 72:01Lastly, another one from India
-
72:01 - 72:04"Which is better to meditate, a place
with noise and comfort for meditation -
72:04 - 72:07or place of seclusion
with difficult conditions?" -
72:07 - 72:13Ah, the best of those is a place
with comfort and seclusion. -
72:15 - 72:18In other words it just changes things.
-
72:18 - 72:21Noise and comfort for meditation
or place of seclusion with difficult. -
72:21 - 72:24If it's noise it's very easy
to stop noises these day, -
72:24 - 72:28just get noise canceling headphones.
-
72:28 - 72:31Can you do that?
-
72:31 - 72:33The most important thing with
whatever you experience, -
72:33 - 72:36comfort, noise, difficult conditions.
-
72:36 - 72:38I've meditated so much
-
72:38 - 72:41really places you should never
be able to meditate in. -
72:41 - 72:44Sometimes I do that to test myself.
-
72:44 - 72:50I mentioned I think last time
in Suvarnabhumi Airport. -
72:50 - 72:54Now right in the place where
people are welcoming the visitors. -
72:54 - 72:57"Hi! Hello, nice to see you.
How've you been? -
72:57 - 72:58Why are you waiting for so long?"
-
72:58 - 73:02Right there just sat down close my eyes
and meditate for an hour, -
73:02 - 73:03very beautiful meditation.
-
73:03 - 73:07Or uncomfortable, in Hay street mall.
-
73:07 - 73:11Years ago, well might as well
mention this. -
73:11 - 73:16Years ago, the Burmese community
were doing a little... -
73:16 - 73:19bring people's attention to the troubles
in their land. -
73:19 - 73:22It's happening all over again now.
-
73:22 - 73:28At that time they invited me just outside
of... that church there ... -
73:28 - 73:34anyway, one of those church,
to meditate for two hours. -
73:34 - 73:37And that was on the hard pavement,
-
73:37 - 73:44no cushions and right opposite I think
it was called Time Zone, whatever, -
73:44 - 73:48They made big noise
like people play video games -
73:48 - 73:53and big noise just blasting out
and traffic going past. -
73:53 - 73:55This is really cool.
-
73:57 - 74:02I like challenging myself and so
yeah, lovely meditation for two hours. -
74:02 - 74:04It can be done
-
74:04 - 74:10but it's better to find a nice quiet place
and comfortable place. -
74:10 - 74:16So I wouldn't go trying to meditate
outside of or inside a parliament house. -
74:16 - 74:21Which is sometimes noisy
or where else is noisy in this world? -
74:21 - 74:24I don't know, anyway
but yeah it can be done. -
74:24 - 74:26So learn in the easy places
-
74:26 - 74:29and then you can progress
to the hard places if you need to. -
74:30 - 74:34Thank you again for listening.
Sorry for going on a bit long. -
74:34 - 74:38So now we can bow three times
to Buddha Dhamma Sangha -
74:38 - 74:41And then those of you
who still want to carry on -
74:41 - 74:45you can ask more questions
in a few moments. -
74:45 - 74:50And again my apology for not being able
to speak to you before the talk. -
74:50 - 74:53We were just having an
important little committee meeting. -
74:53 - 74:56So sometimes we have to look after the...
-
74:56 - 75:00the Buddhist Society
of Western Australia's administration -
75:00 - 75:03So sorry about that,
doesn't usually happen. -
75:17 - 75:31Araham Samma Sambuddho Bhagava
Buddham Bhagavantam Abhivademi -
75:33 - 75:42Svakkhato Bhagavata Dhammo
Dhammam Namasami -
75:43 - 75:55Suppatipanno Bhagavato SavakaSangho
Sangham Namami
- Title:
- Mindfulness and Kindfulness | Ajahn Brahm | 16 April 2021
- Description:
-
Ajahn Brahm teaches us about the importance of having kindness in our meditation. Ajahn explains why it takes both mindfulness and kindness to overcome the many obstacles we face in meditation. (Kindfulness is a slang word created by Ajahn Bram).
Please support the BSWA in making teachings available for free online via Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/BuddhistSocietyWA
Recorded at Dhammaloka Buddhist Centre, Perth, Western Australia.
Buddhist Society of Western Australia’s teaching's page: https://bswa.org/teachings/
To find the full playlist visit: https://www.youtube.com/user/BuddhistSocietyWA/playlists, or click on 'Playlists' in the top menu bar. - Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- Buddhist Society of Western Australia
- Project:
- Friday Night Dhamma Talks
- Duration:
- 01:16:15
Indira Fernando edited English subtitles for Mindfulness and Kindfulness | Ajahn Brahm | 16 April 2021 | ||
Indira Fernando edited English subtitles for Mindfulness and Kindfulness | Ajahn Brahm | 16 April 2021 | ||
Indira Fernando edited English subtitles for Mindfulness and Kindfulness | Ajahn Brahm | 16 April 2021 | ||
Indira Fernando edited English subtitles for Mindfulness and Kindfulness | Ajahn Brahm | 16 April 2021 | ||
Indira Fernando edited English subtitles for Mindfulness and Kindfulness | Ajahn Brahm | 16 April 2021 | ||
Indira Fernando edited English subtitles for Mindfulness and Kindfulness | Ajahn Brahm | 16 April 2021 | ||
Indira Fernando edited English subtitles for Mindfulness and Kindfulness | Ajahn Brahm | 16 April 2021 | ||
Indira Fernando edited English subtitles for Mindfulness and Kindfulness | Ajahn Brahm | 16 April 2021 |